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Well, that’s enough internet for one day

The proper way to drink your girlfriend’s Diet Coke

Ok, so the best case scenario here is that, despite the “Serious” tag, this is some kind of joke, because if not, what the hell, man?

Can I drink diet coke out of my girlfriends womb? 
Okay so the cervix is water tight right? So if the womb if filled with diet coke. and I insert a straw inside, and it pokes out on the outside. Could I legit drink diet coke out of my girlfriend? Is it like a water bladder?

Pardon me a moment while I scream. (Much like this.)

Ok, now. The second least worst interpretation is that Diet Coke boy has confused the vagina and the uterus. That is, he doesn’t want to fill up her literal womb with diet cola, just the vagina.

I’m not sure that’s much better.

Maybe this gif of a famous Diet Coke fan drinking like a normal human will help to quiet your mind.

That didn’t help? Sorry, I’m just ruing everyone’s internet today, huh?

H/T — Terrible screenshot courtesy of the BadWomensAnatomy subreddit.

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26 replies on “Well, that’s enough internet for one day”

If you care about her health no soft drinks should ever get anywhere near that area.

As an avowed Diet Coke drinker, I solemnly swear that Not All Male Diet Coke Drinkers Are Like That. NAMDCDALT, for short.

There’s an ultrasound technique called sonohysterography whereby water is injected into the uterine space in order to better visualize the endometrium and Fallopian tubes. Bubble water can also be used to increase contrast with the endometrium wall, so I guess diet coke will do the same thing.

However the procedure can be quite painful, and the fluid in the uterus can empty into the abdominal cavity via the Fallopian tubes, which could lead to infection, and endometriosis. Also the taste would be horrible.

That sound you heard is all the women* of WHTM having their legs involuntarily slamming shut. Followed by the sound of all of them screaming like the lady in the picture.

I’m very much afraid this guy is indeed serious, and can only hope he has no access to actual vaginas.

(*To include AFAB men who have or had those parts, and AMAB women in solidarity with their cis sisters, of course.)

Always wanted to say that iconic line, haven’t said it since I quit moderating r/mrpresidentthebutton

I had a hysterosalpingogram once. The nurses had to practically scrape me off the ceiling afterwards. I can’t imagine adding carbonation and phosphoric acid to that scenario. (Let alone inserting a drinking straw through the cervix…catheters are painful enough).

Also no, the cervix is not water tight except during pregnancy.

This guy’s been watching too much hentai.

Seeing the image at the top my first thought was Daniel Day-Lewis screaming ‘I drink your milkshake’ at the top of his lungs.

That was significantly more innocent and entertaining than that which followed. How is that an idea that someone has. Ew. Ow.

@Buttercup Q. Skullpants even if the cervix was watertight, the fallopian tubes are open on the non-uterus end, so you’d end up with an abdomen full of Diet Coke, which sounds extremely painful!

@Angie – Not to mention septic!

Don’t give this guy any more ideas, though…next he’ll be wanting to know if he can quaff Fireball through the Fallopian tubes.

At one time, if I recall correctly (and I’m getting old, so I might not– then again, being old is how I heard of this) it was believed that shaking a six-ounce bottle of Coke and using it as a sort of pressure fed douche after sex was an operational method of birth control. Apparently, some ingredient in Coca-Cola was believed to be a spermicide.

It’s the only close to sane reason I can think of where this insanity could have started in the first place. The thing with the straw, however… I got nuffin’.

If there’s any spermicidal effect in Coke, compared to a plain water douche, I bet it’s the carbonic acid. I understand the sperm generally have a hard time surviving the naturally acidic vaginal environment long enough to swim through the cervix into uterus and further.

Jesus christ. I don’t even have a uterus and I felt my legs superglue themselves together.

as I’ve said WAAAAYYYYY too many times on these pages…

DOUBLE-YOO TEE EFF?????

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