Awful news for the Red Pill community: One of its members slipped up and said some nice things to one of the women he’s seeing — things that might actually make her feel a little better about herself. Now he’s terrified she might think he’s a beta or, even worse, some sort of simp.
Naturally, he took his case to the Ask The Red Pill subreddit to see if there was anything he could do to bounce back from this terrible, terrible mistake.
Luckily, some of the Red Pill regulars had some advice on how to dig himself out of his hole.
“Just don’t do it again,” wrote one, “it’s that simple.”
“Find something better to do for two hours next time.,” one suggested.
“Just watch what she does,” advised another. “If she gets a big fat head about it, play the dread game.”
The Dread Game, in Red-pill speak, means “treat her badly enough so she’ll start to worry that you’re going to leave her.”
Another Red Piller was a little blunter with his tough love. i-am-the-prize wrote:
if the 2 hour FT was not the norm, fine. note:
” that she brings me peace in my unrestful life”
that’s fine on it’s own. it will make her feel special, nothing wrong with showing kindness for kindness sake (as long as not for a covert contract to be liked back).
But, here is where things would have/could have gone wrong is with:
you: “baby, i’m so stressed at work, my lifts are down, i just can’t hack it, i need to see a shrink and . blah blah i’m so glad you’re in my life, not sure what Id’ do without you…“
(nothing wrong with seeing a shrink, plenty wrong with using it as a virtue/pity signal with a woman)
point is, if you told her: you bring value and make me smile. good. if you told her: I need you. that’s pretty much the worst thing you can do.
Women want to be wanted by a strong and high value man. Period. Nothing dries panties more than a needy man. A child needs his mommy, a man does not need his plate/GF.
If you ever wonder why tehre are so many shitty boyfriends in this world, well, some of them train for the role.
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They are so afraid of women. It’s truly bizarre.
It’s kind of strange that the last dude almost had a good advice about a the non-problem of the OP. He, after all, acknowledges the fact that being kind for kindness sake is perfectly fine and that compliments are fine, that it’s fine to see shrink to talk about your problem. He’s not even wrong when he says that playing the pity card or looking like a needy fragile man isn’t exactly very “winner” when it comes to dates (nothing wrong with seeking the support of a spouse or partner, but with someone you are dating and not well established with, I do agree that it’s pretty much a red flag). One thing for sure, a lot of men on that subreddit sure have a bad mix of sexism and anxiety.
This is what happens when awful men ask other awful men for advice about women (something they clearly know nothing about) instead of asking, oh..I don’t know…women?
Say what you will about manospherians, they are reliably good for a laugh. I’ll admit that sometimes I weep before I laugh.
No, you don’t.
“Forgive me, brothers, for I have simped.”
The last guy was so close to right, just framed in the worst possible way. The bit about a child needing his mommy but a man not needing his GF is a crude and awful way of framing that yes, partners should choose to be together because they want to be, not because they need to be and are co-dependent. Most of the rest is similarly just a horrendous reframing of normal advice; but he got this part flat wrong:
No, it’s not. Routinely so much worse is done. Someone in the last comments section even mentioned the actual worst, murder of a girlfriend and her family at a child’s birthday party. Get over yourself dude.
Pick Up Artists sure don’t apply ‘abundance mentality’ to good human feelings.
“You bring value”???
Why not just date a tire coupon?
When women with vaginas become particularly unaroused, we actually suck moisture back up into our vaginas, I guess.
I mean, it makes sense not to want to be “needy” in a relationship, that is, acting overly dependent. But the Red Pill concern seems to be, “What’ll make me more gender-stereotype-conforming and therefore cooler and more sexually attractive???” not about doing what’s best for everyone involved and, y’know, being fair and respectful.
“Neediness” is something I worry about sometimes, as I have anxiety problems that my partner doesn’t. So I’m trying to balance talking about my concerns with talking about other things and making sure I’m supporting him, even though the emotional support he wants might not be the same as the sort I want.
…In simple terms, I don’t want to be a pain in the ass by complaining too much. I don’t always succeed, but at least I’m not thinking “oh, I need to maintain frame” or something.
@epitome: you don’t want to be a needy pain because you respect your boyfriend as a human being.
Which, needless to say, Red Pillers* don’t.
@Viscaria: maybe they think we break out the blow dryers?
*I will never, ever stop LOL at them taking their name from a movie by two transwomen.