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“Is there a point in hanging out with plates if you are not going to smash them?” and other crockery-related queries from the Ask the Red Pill subreddit

Red Piller spinning a plate

Of all the ridiculous bits of red pill jargon that litter the conversations wherever red pillers gather to talk, probably the most ridiculous is the term “plate” — used to mean a woman you’re regularly fucking in some sort of Friends With Benefits kind of way.

The idea, as Red Pillers see things, is to always maintain your own personal harem of sorts — to keep “spinning” multiple ” plates” at the same time — to give yourself more options than if you were “spinning” just one.

But the term is so ridiculous and dehumanizing it’s difficult for me to read it without thinking of literal plates — the crockery we eat off of. It’s especially hard not to do this when the Red Pillers are earnestly talking about “breaking” or “smashing” their plates.

I’ve collected together an assortment of headlines to illustrate just how hard it is not to think of real plates whenever the Red Pillers start talking about the metaphoric ones.

Is there a point in hanging out with plates if you are not going to smash them?

Well sure, if you’re hungry.

Fun stuff you can do with plates before you smash?

I dunno. You could maybe arrange your food into the shape of a smiley face?

How to break a plate without feeling bad?

Maybe pick one that already has a little crack in it?

Can’t sleep with plates in the bed. How to get over this?

Dude, the bed is probably the absolute worst place to store your plates. You’ll probably just roll over and break them. Put them in a kitchen cabinet or something.

If you are great at sex, are plates less likely to break?

Nah, dude. If you’re great at sex you’re probably more likely to break plates and crockery of all types. Yet another reason to keep them stored in the kitchen instead of the bed.

How to Convert Model I Met Into Plate?

WTF? What’s up with this creepy Island of Dr. Moreau shit?

How long did it take you to go from average to hot plates?

Dude, if you need a hot plate, you can just order one from Target.

Are you her plate, or is she your plate?

I do not know whether I am a man dreaming I am a plate, or whether I am a plate, dreaming I am a man.

Anyone else sometimes fed up with spinning plates? All 3 of my plates broke in same month.

Practice more, dude. Like juggling or hula-hooping, plate spinning is a skill you can only learn by doing it.

How long does your average plate last?

If you’re careful not to drop it, probably a lifetime.

what if you have one plate

Sounds like you need to take a trip over to Wayfair, where you’ll find an assortment of dinnerware sets on sale.

For more plate-related hilarity, check this out. (Yes, I basically wrote this one twice without realizing it until after I was done.)

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Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

I’m also a bit worried about antisemitic hate crimes, given that earlier today Rudy Giuliani shared a conspiracy theory about George Soros and implicated Jews more broadly.

Luzbelitx
1 year ago

@Big Titty Demon & Naglfar

I guess I got a bad harvest then :/

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
1 year ago

I wonder if these people ever get so engrossed in this lingo that they are confused by regular conversations about tableware.

On a related note, I broke a plate this morning and now I’m wondering how this whole plate jargon handles a situation where plates have been in use for decades before they’re handed on to me. Are they my plates or am I their plate if they’re just piggybacking to get to their next owner?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

I did New Years once at a Greek place and they did all the plate smashing. I thought it was a bit of a waste. But the bloke showed me the boxes of special plates they use just for that. They’re designed to break but not leave razor sharp shards everywhere.

As to the origin, one suggestion is that it’s a display of conspicuous wealth. Like how rich folks in medieval times would just throw used plates into the fire.

The more commonly accepted explanation is that it originated with the funery practice of breaking urns; and that somehow got transferred to weddings and other celebrations. The idea being that evil spirits will not realise it’s a happy occasion and thus not try to spoil it.

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