What easy lives women have today, at least in the fantasies of Men Going Their Own Way.
For example, did you know that every woman in the world has at least six men at her beck and call, collectively providing her with all the sex, money and adoration she could possibly ever need? Let’s let this dude in the MGTOW subreddit explain it all for us:
So let’s break down the math. She’s got Chad and Tyrone handling the, er, gut rearrangement duties. That’s two. She’s got the friendzoned guy and at least two orbiting simps. That’s three more, for a total of five. And then she’s got the sugar daddy she’ll eventually marry, for six.
Damn. Seems like she’d need a spreadsheet to keep track of all of these guys. I had no idea being a woman was so complicated, time-management-wise.
Follow me on Twitter.
Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.
We Hunted the Mammoth relies entirely on readers like you for its survival. If you appreciate our work, please send a few bucks our way! Thanks!
It’s called “having friends,” ya bonkeyheads.
I’m sorry, is this what they mean by the game “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon”?
Oh no. Women here will have to choose which one to disappoint. They’ll have to draw straws or something. Or maybe a rota?
ETA: Blooming hummer; that’s big!
EETA: That lack of an Oxford comma will make for some interesting funerals.
WTF does this mean? That sounds painful. Are they trying to refer to anal or oral sex, or do they think the vagina is connected to the digestive system somehow? And even if it was, how would sex “rearrange” someone’s gut? So many questions that I’m sure have awful answers.
I tried so hard, and got so far,
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter
I had to fall, to lose it all,
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter
Or, rather
He tried so hard, and got so far,
but in the end, she will marry the rich guy
She had to fuck the hot guys (on the side)
But in the end, she will friendzone the nice guy
(with all due apologies to Chester Bennington)
I’m sorry, is this what they mean by that game “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon?”
@Alan
Why are weddings, funerals and sports teams exempted? Are they special zones where the virus does not spread?
How do you prove that the 14 people I’m out with are not part of my support bubble? I claim they are. How do you demonstrate otherwise?
So many questions …
There are enough rich men for every woman to eventually marry one? Neato.
It’s admittedly quite sad that men don’t seem to feel worthy without a woman or someone else they want to bang, or at least tend to feel compelled to shit on women. It’s also frustrating for more masculine-gendered people too to maybe not have as many modes of expression available to them. I don’t know the good answer for this.
Plus I doubt that miggie is accurate. Most men (at least to me, I’m not sure to everyone) don’t even seem desirable, in part because they don’t have to even put the effort to do so.
@Alan
They lifted lockdown WAY too early. I hate how desperate people are to get this machine we call capitalism rebooted. This is why we have had rising cases lately.
@ POM
No idea. It’s all a bit arbitrary. I think mainly it’s that “social ending of pandemics” thing. You do the maximum restrictions that the public will tolerate. Go beyond that and you risk people just failing to comply with any restrictions.
It does produce some weird results though. For example, under the current regulations the Grenfell families can’t attend the inquest. But if the coroner applied for a ‘temporary events notice’* and sold beer they could; as pubs are now exempt; although they’d still have to sit in groups of no more than six.
*https://www.gov.uk/temporary-events-notice
@Alan
They are all part of a large support bubble. Problem resolved!
People would totally ignore the proscription anyway in those cases, so it’s better to exempt them in advance than turn a blind eye to rule-breaking. Sort of the government version of “Never give an order you know won’t be obeyed.”
Does jack shit to prevent the spread of the virus, but hey – Jocelin and Tarquin can have their wedding without some officious plod sticking their uninvited nose in.
@ POM
Legal proceedings are still meant to be socially distanced; so lots of hearings by Zoom and Microsoft Teams (did an appeal that way today). We’ve been having a few ‘bench and bar’ discussions about it. Most people seemed to be able to cope. Although my one contribution to the debate was pointing out that, as these were online discussions, we were a self selecting group of people who had just about sussed how Zoom worked.
One judge was candid enough to admit he liked being able to mute the barristers.
@Alan
We’ve been doing meetings online for months now. My state (along with many others) passed new laws allowing even public hearings to be done “virtually,” which has not made angry neighbors any less angry. Some of them have been arguing that many cases should be put off until public in-person meetings are allowed again without a cap, which is to say indefinitely, and they are very indignant that nobody is catering to them.
We have no such “weddings are exempt” provision in our local COVID ordinance. Weddings are totally not exempt! But churches are, I think due to a lawsuit, which has led to churches being the epicenters of many mini-outbreaks.
@Threp
I don’t know … maybe. The government has plenty of laws it knows won’t be obeyed, like the speed limit, but it still enforces them (usually – I haven’t seen a traffic cop in months, cos they are all at the protests armed with pepper balls).
“rearrange her guts,” “emotional tampon…” Why do misogynysts use the grossest terms for human interactions?
@ POM
Places of worship here are theoretically allowed to open; subject to certain guidelines
Most of the major religions here are still keeping shut. I don’t know if that’s social responsibility, bafflement at the rather complex guidelines, or vicars who are enjoying a break from their parishioners.
The grossest people need the grossest terms….
@freneticferret
It’s a projection of how awful they are. They don’t understand how non-evil people interact, so they have to make up weird terms. It makes them sound like they’re space aliens IMO.
The one that’s really throwing me for a loop is the gut-rearranging business. I’ve heard “emotional tampon” as a term used by MRAs before, but the gut-rearranging is new. Is this a slang term kids are using these days? I can’t think of any sex act that in any way fits that description, unless someone has an extreme medical fetish or Chad and Tyrone are surgeons who will be performing intestinal surgery on the woman in question.
Considering that there is about as much men as women in the world (49% women, 51% men), does that mean that every single MGTOW is, simulatenously, a simp, a friendzone guy, a Chad, a Tyrone and a Sugar Daddy?
I’m five men short of that number and he’s neither rich nor a “Chad”. I don’t WANT more either, I like my sleep.
@epronovost
Is it a random thing that changes each day, like one day you wake up and you’re a sugar daddy, but the next day you might be a friendzone guy? Or is there some sort of master schedule that coordinates all the men for whose turn it is to be Chad?
@ Alan,
We’ve been meeting in public parks here while the weather is good; don’t know what we’ll do once the cold sets in.
@Epronovost,
Yes it does, and that’s become more of a problem now with Zoom meetings, as they have to remember which chat to mute and which to participate in at what time. Makes for a lot of awkwardness… /s
@Victorius Parasol
Yeah, well, MTGOWs repeatedly demonstrate that they’re homosocial and can’t grasp the idea that a lot of other men aren’t like them. So they just have to come up with alternate explanations for ordinary behavior.
@ bookworm in hijab
Some years back I tagged along to a Samhain thing at the Hurlers. They’re a series of stone circles on Bodmin Moor. It was a bit chilly to say the least. One chap piped up “Say what you like about Christianity; but at least you get to go indoors!” 🙂
Nice spot though.
You should have seen my face the day it was my turn to be Tyrone. One day you are poor nerdy white simp and the next BAM, I was a foot taller and wider and black. It’s crazy.
/joke
What about the 99% or so of us men who aren’t MGTOW? Are we all supposed to be performing the Chad/Tyrone/Simp/Sugar Daddy/friendzone role for six women simultaneously? Or am I meant to be, like, changing rules for different women? Like one woman’s sugar daddy, another’s Simp?