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misogyny nice guys redistribution of sex

This Nice Guy has some complaints about the sex distribution system

Please, miss, just a crumb?

Ah, the Nice Guy, perpetually confused that women aren’t vending machines that dole out a serving of sex for every five kindness tokens you insert in them.

Here’s yet another Nice Guy, captured in the wild by a commenter on the Nice Guys subreddit, expressing his indignation over what he sees as a terrible breakdown in the pussy-distribution infrastructure.

Dude, just stop. Have some respect for women, and some respect for yourself. The world doesn’t run on pity sex; never has. And that’s a good thing.

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Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

Y’all will use them for male advice

Does that mean advice on how to attracted men? Because if there’s one group I wouldn’t ask how to attract men, it would be cishet men who have never tried to attract men.

ask to borrow some pussy

The way this is worded grosses me out. The idea that men should just be able to borrow someone’s genitals is gross in and of itself, but this wording makes it worse.

So instead I’m just going to picture a man asking if he can borrow a cat for a few hours. Actually, no, that’s also bad given what he would probably do to the cat.

This is just not a good phrase.

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
1 year ago

@Naglfar

Yeah I had the same thought, and I also would not let this creep anywhere near a cat.

Spending time with friends’ cats is really wonderful though. I love cats so much, they’re like… perfect little furry balls of empathy and affection and support. And unlike Nice Guys they barely ask anything in return.

(Sorry if I’m a bit incoherent here, I triggered myself badly earlier watching something I shouldn’t have and am now into the exhaustion phase.)

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
1 year ago

Pro tip for folks with (C)PTSD around violence against women – The Fall might seem appealing, but it has at least one scene of very extreme physical violence against the (helpless) female protagonist. For people who have triggers around physical abuse of women, Damsel tropes, etc. it is not a safe show to watch.

(Do y’all hate how much TV and film is like this? Gods, I know I do.)

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
1 year ago

Hmm, my last post got eaten.

Hey @David – I’ve been holding back from volunteering because I have a lot on my plate right now, have been out of tech for years, and was never strong on WordPress and PHP stuff. But I was a sysadmin (sort of) once upon a time, and if you’d like I’d be happy to look into the technical issues here.

(It really has been a while though, IDK if I can promise anything.)

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
1 year ago

It’s not like this is a new idea. Heinlein, in I Will Fear No Evil, said in so many words that the best way a woman could say “thank you” to a man for having done her a mundane favor is to have sex with him. The idea that should could just do a mundane favor back, like any other human being*, in a normal friendship give-and-take, is a foreign one.

*”human being” does not include women of course

mothkiller
mothkiller
1 year ago

Borrow some pussy

That makes me think of a Wanda Sykes bit.

Also, does this mean if he has a gay friend he would gladly lend his gay friend any body part when asked? Because by his logic he Should or he is selfish. think we know the answer to that one.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Cyborgette

Spending time with friends’ cats is really wonderful though. I love cats so much, they’re like… perfect little furry balls of empathy and affection and support. And unlike Nice Guys they barely ask anything in return.

Regrettably, I am allergic to cats, but I like spending time with dogs. My dog isn’t as much into sitting in people’s laps as many cats are, but she loves to sleep on the sofa next to someone.

Do y’all hate how much TV and film is like this? Gods, I know I do.

This is the main reason I never liked going to the movie theater. Even if the movie I was seeing wasn’t violent, there would always be violent trailers before it. I would only ever go if either a) it was a special event that I knew wouldn’t have traditional trailers before or b) I had a friend so I could go be elsewhere and they could let me know when the movie was about to start.

@mothkiller

That makes me think of a Wanda Sykes bit.

I know that bit. Although she didn’t mention it explicitly, my takeaway was how great that would be for trans* people, as presumably if genitals were easily removable we could exchange them. Come to think of it, that would be good for everyone, as organ transplants would be so much easier.

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
1 year ago

Never understood Niceguys.

I mean, I can sort of understand Miggies – their thinking is fucked up but there’s at least a certain zero sum logic to it.
But niceguys … they’re just strange.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
1 year ago

Nice Guys and MGTOWs are not too dissimilar – both feel like relationships are entirely transactional, and that women have only sex to trade. They both feel very entitled to the the sex they have “earned” and are angry when women fail to dispense it. They diverge only in their proximate response, as Nice Guys put on a facade of politeness until turned down, at which point they snap, while MGTOWs snap right out of the gate. A lot of MGTOWs started out as Nice Guys, and I think Nice Guy might actually be the MGTOW larval state.

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
1 year ago

@PoM, re Heinlein

Yay, even more reasons for me to hate his guts. That trope of women owing men sex (or love, or marriage) as a form of gratitude has to be one of the most damaging in human history.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@PoM

A lot of MGTOWs started out as Nice Guys, and I think Nice Guy might actually be the MGTOW larval state.

It definitely seems like that’s the case. A lot of MGTOWs have some story about how they used to be NiceGuys (and many even claim to have been feminist NiceGuys, failing to see the contradiction), so even they acknowledge that.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
1 year ago

(and many even claim to have been feminist NiceGuys, failing to see the contradiction)

Too many dudes seem to think that “can sometimes hold a conversation with a woman” is the only requirement for being a feminist, so obviously they were feminists back when they were Nice Guys. I used to know this Nice Guy who claimed to be super feminist because he “worships women” and when we parted ways he was getting more and more bitter because his “worship” didn’t translate into a successful relationship.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
1 year ago

This will possibly seem crass, apologies. One night I got a call from a friend whose car had arfed up on the turnpike… at 2:AM. I got up and drove thrre, appraised the situation, called AAA for a tow.

The relationship was, she and her passenger were both newly clean in a substance abuse fellowship I attend.

This situation was tailor-made for exercise of the predatory behavior our society so encourages. Later I had leave to wonder if the two women expected to be preyed upon.

As the woman had bought the car from another person in recovery, the story got out, and I was asked by too many people who should know better… “Why I didn’t….”. Here’s the crass part — as I have no tolerance for predation, I replied “She needed her car towed, she didn’t need her field plowed”

My point isn’t to “white knight” myself, it’s just to demonstrate that even in the ugliest situation, being a decent person is not brain surgery.

@Cyborgette. PoM:

My fave critique of Heinlein is, his aliens are always humans and his humans are always Americans

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@PoM

I used to know this Nice Guy who claimed to be super feminist because he “worships women” and when we parted ways he was getting more and more bitter because his “worship” didn’t translate into a successful relationship.

I think that kind of thing might be part of what happened with AVN from a few weeks ago. He had a weird worship complex going on so he thought he could at least pretend to be a feminist.

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
1 year ago

@Weird Eddie

OMFG. 13th steppers are the fucking grossest.

I got sexually harassed the very first time I attended a 12 step program (back when I was a guy no less). That first time was also the last time. Luckily I found other ways to manage my problem but I can’t imagine what it’s like for people who have to rely on 12 step groups.

Also just… it kind of blows my mind that anyone would look at a situation like that and read sex into it, and think that was reasonable or appropriate or in any way not creepy. WTF.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

Testing how this comment shows up. Testing testing 123

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

Well, it appeared right away but it looks like the edit feature is gone, as are the buttons for block quote and links. Can we get those back? And now comments appear at the top of the thread, which makes things harder to follow.

Edit: nevermind, it looks like it reorders them after reloading the page and I found the Edit button. Can we have the buttons back though?

Last edited 1 year ago by Naglfar
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
1 year ago

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Nope. Worse. WAY worse. Thought I’d had a facefull of expired CS for a minute.

Also had to enter my details for the first time in ages.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

If possible, can you move the comments box back to the bottom? And make sure that comments stay in chronological order so we can follow threads.

Edit: buttons are back, that’s good

Last edited 1 year ago by Naglfar
Robert Haynie
Robert Haynie
1 year ago

That… that one just makes me sad.

Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
1 year ago

“. . . borrow some pussy . . . ”

Your comment is breathtakingly wrong.

First of all, you apparently don’t even know my cat’s name. Maybe you never bothered to learn it. Or maybe you forgot it. Either way, you’re entirely too careless and casual about my fur baby.

Second, no responsible cat parent lends out their cat. Cats are not for loan. I’m pretty sure your parents didn’t loan you out — and if they did, shame on them.

To sum up, you’re not a Nice Guy at all, and I suggest you join the Shitty Guys subreddit.

Errapel
Errapel
1 year ago

Just wanted to say thank you so much for the colour change. I can comfortably read this (and hopefully so can many others), and it means a lot you made the effort.

And yikes, nice guys really aren’t nice are they?

Battering Lamb
Battering Lamb
1 year ago

So instead I’m just going to picture a man asking if he can borrow a cat for a few hours.

The only cat I’d borrow that dude is Greebo.

As the woman had bought the car from another person in recovery, the story got out, and I was asked by too many people who should know better… “Why I didn’t….”.

Incidentally why the ‘notallmen’ defense always falls flat. Not all but more than enough.

Also just… it kind of blows my mind that anyone would look at a situation like that and read sex into it, and think that was reasonable or appropriate or in any way not creepy. WTF.

Some people just seem to base their entire view of women on porn. Ideals, interactions, all of it.

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