By David Futrelle
I‘ve been covering the manosphere’s collective obsession with sexbots since the start of this blog more than eight years ago. Back then, some in this weird internet community were predicting the almost-imminent arrival of sexbots that were both affordable and (to these guys anyway) virtually indistinguishable from real women.
Indeed, some were saying that in as few as ten years, these sexy robot ladies would become so ubiquitous and so realistic that actual human women would go obsolete.
Well, it hasn’t been quite a decade yet, but I thought I’d go ahead and see how things were going in the worlds of sex robotics and woman obsoleting.
But first, let’s remind ourselves of what sexbot technology looked like way, way back in the dark age of the early 2010s. In March of 2011, I wrote about a sexy robot lady by the name of Roxxxy, put together by a company called True Companion LLC, and capable of what her creators thought were some truly seductive moves. Roxxxy, I wrote,
can turn her head like Linda Blair in the Exorcist and mechanically banter with non-robot men using a variety of canned phrases that sound a lot like what a perpetually dateless non-robot man might imagine a sexy lady would say if ever one deigned to speak to him.
She could also wiggle a little bit in what Roxxxy’s creators evidently thought was a sensual manner.
There have been impressive, and sometimes terrifying, improvements in robot technology since then. Humanesque robots can now run and jump and pick up boxes and do a bit of light parkour.
They can even do backflips.
Some non-humanesque robots can bowl with stunning accuracy, if not in the conventional manner.
And this creeepy quadraped can get through doors, even if you, erp, don’t particularly want it to.
Meanwhile artificial intelligence and voice recognition technology has developed to the point that for a mere $30 (and the total loss of your privacy) you can equip your home with smart speakers that will converse freely with you on such topics as the current weather and how old Kirk Douglas is. (According to my friend “Google Assistant” he’s 102 years old.)
So how have the sexy robot ladies been coming along? Well, here’s the new, improved (?) Roxxxy, as of 2018. Her “conversation” still seems like a string of canned phrases.
And her allegedly human-like movements, well, let’s just say they have a way to go before they even reach the uncanny valley.
As for her sex moves? Well, if this inadvertently hilarious R-rated video of her on PornHub is any indication, they still seem to consist mostly of wiggling. (Then again, that’s also my signature sex move.)
Meanwhile,”Emma” here is definitely not ready for prime time.
There are some other “sexbots” out there that seem a tad more human-like than these two though they too have their, er, limitations.
Here’s one that was, I believe, designed to look like Scarlett Johansson, which she doesn’t quite pull off, though she is a good deal more human-looking than Roxxxy. But her mouth movements are scary and unsynchronized and her wink, well, let’s just say it could use a bit of work, unless you’re intending to use her to frighten small children and more sensitive adults.
She might also want to work on her posture, which currently resembles that of the marionettes from Team Amerca: World Police.
This sex robot head is probably the most realistic-looking of them all, at least if you’re really into rubber heads. But its “flirting” is more than a little bit mechanical. Also, it’s just a head, designed to be attached to an otherwise immobile sex doll.
So in conclusion:
Sexbots have not yet rendered women obsolete.
But if you’re a lady-hating man who nevertheless wants to fuck a lady RIGHT NOW, might I suggest a cheaper Do-it-Yourself alternative to the still-imperfect yet extremely pricey models featured above?
While lacking a little in the body department, this DIY model will answer simple questions while you go to town on its artificial vagina. All you need is a smart speaker, a Fleshlight or something similar, a roll of duct tape, and a sturdy stick. Just attach the speaker and the Fleshlight to the opposite ends of the stick with the tape, as shown below. (You can also swap out the Fleshlight with a dildo if that’s your preference.)
For added realism, you can print out a picture of your favorite celebrity lady and tape it over the speaker. Ta-da! The perfect sexbot.
Technology marches on. I’ll check back in another eight or nine years to let you know if women are obsolete by then.
We Hunted the Mammoth relies entirely on readers like you for its survival. If you appreciate our work, please send a few bucks our way! Thanks!
@Hambeast: if they make one that does all that, I want one regardless of how sexy it is. I have a box of vibrators already; I do not have someone to do all my household chores.
D…do I want to know what the Stardew Valley thing was?
That one doesn’t always work. Same with smacking the base and smacking the lid against the counter. And usually when I need help it’s because my hands are greasy from cooking, so he’d better damn well help out. ?
I was referring to this post from WHTM in March:
1) The bowling robot is cgi. Neat to watch though.
2) re: the Roxxxy vid above the pornhub link: “I can look all around me.” In two directions at once! Why in the world didn’t they align her eyes before they shot this??
3) I think Harmony’s development is being funded by Trump. An Ivanka that never ages or marries someone else. They’ve done really well with the AI, since I sure can’t tell the difference (though Harmony seems smarter, what with Wikipedia in her head and all). If they can just get her to stop asking how big he is, Harmony will be his ideal woman.
Sorry. ::hands out brain bleach::
Call me eccentric, but I would actually prefer one of those robots (assuming of course it was truly sentient and willing to stay with me of its own will) if they didn’t look like they were trying so hard to be human.
Let’s be honest here, these robots are not going to be human no matter how realistic their skin is made to look, so why waste time with the uncanny valley when a humanoid form alone would be sufficient? It’s just a frivolous waste of resources for people who don’t want to admit that they want to sleep with a machine.
I’m not going to risk clogging up my youtube suggestions with sex doll videos, so I’m just going to take your word on this.
TY! Must have blocked that one out. 😀
Brain bleach is definitely called for.
Brain bleach? I took a couple of cute new pictures.
My dog, Bailey going for a ride
My mom’s new cat, Clover. She’s all settled in and very active and friendly now.
*sigh* Again, how many comedies have used this idea for fodder and they’re still pining for it? Futurama? Cherry 2000? Tripping The Rift?
Guys, just… even if these things do somehow emerge from the Uncanny Valley (not likely), it’s not going to salve whatever misanthropy and misogyny is lurking beneath. Sex doll manufacturers already have to deal with repairs to abused dolls. You’re just going to do the same thing to something even more costly.
Although a thought did just occur to me. In Star Trek, the Holodeck was essentially video gaming taken to its logical extent. Worf hacked through monsters, Tasha Yar beat up some hapless martial arts guy, Tom Paris and Harry Kim played Captain Proton and Bashir and O’Brien played Battle of Britain in Quark’s Holosuite (which Quark hinted was basically used for adult purposes by everyone else).
Humans of the 24th century were so perfect as to make Eagle Scouts look lowbrow, but what about some of the less quote-unquote “enlightened” species? Were… some of them acting out serial killer or sadistic sex fantasies in the Holodeck? I get that a PG show couldn’t really address stuff like that but… I mean unless there was some kind of monitoring of those facilities… pretty much anything goes, right?
I mean, even the idea of playing out major battles is kinda macabre in and of itself. As much as Bashir and O’Brien liked to play as history’s underdogs… they could have easily played as Napoleon ordering his cannon to fire upon the frozen Satschan Pond as the Russians and Austrians were fleeing across it, plunging hundreds of terrified men and horses into the freezing waters. I wouldn’t put it past somebody who had programmed an Austerlitz holodeck program to do that just to experience that kind of malevolent power.
Just a nerd thought. Have a funny!
Wasn’t there a storyline on one of the shows where the Federation encountered a civilization that insisted they couldn’t give up their ritualized hunting of other sentient species or their culture would collapse, so the Federation characters gave them holo-technology so they could at least do it without hurting anyone, only for the Voyager crew to discover a few years later that the civilization had decided the standard holo-characters weren’t enough of a challenge to kill and had boosted their AIs to the point where they were fully conscious and capable of experiencing pain and fear?
(checks google) – oh yeah, this was a four-episode story arc on Voyager about “the Hirogen” (on of those SFnal all-hunting/fighting all the time alien civilizations where you can’t figure out who’s doing the farming or looking after the children who aren’t physically able to fight yet – at least Voyager implied the Hirogen’s obsession with hunting was causing the decline of their species *because* they were devoting all their resources to that and nothing else – still you’d think the collapse would have come faster than over centuries.)
Yup but then the sentient holo prey got tried of being hunted and killed over and over and started fighting back at levels that weren’t fun for the Hirogen any more.
@Moon_custafer and @Fabe
You know, if Star Trek was feeling really daring, a fresh take on that episode might be if holographic sex workers were given that level of self-awareness and began to lash out at patrons that abused them and started demanding rights. Certainly would make for an interesting extension of their series-wide examination of artificial life forms.
Well, Star Trek did have the original ‘Hollow Pursuits’ episode, the one that introduced Reginald Barclay, where one of the characters in Barlclay’s holosuite setup was a nude version of Deanna Troi with open and welcoming arms. (At the very least, she was carefully shown in the episode only from shoulders-up to not show anything.) Now, whether or not Barclay’s self-confidence issues kept him from actually doing anything was another question.
By far the sexiest of them all. 😀
I didn’t see him trying to link Trump and the pedo ring? I think a link exists, nonetheless, based on this quote from the BBC:
I liked one of the Voyager arcs in which the Doctor* had spent so much time functioning that his personality began to develop beyond his initial programming. “Please state the nature of – oh, it’s *you* again.”
Similar to what happened to Rimmer on “Red Dwarf”.
*Not ‘the Doctor’.
I showed my husband the Harmony video, because I’m evil and enjoy cackling at his discomfort.
He watched it, blinked a couple of times, shivered, and said, “It’s like somebody slapped a raw chicken. Her cheeks just jiggle.”
I pointed out that the boy-nazis are not satisfied with *just* a sexbot, as she has no womb for housing their white babbies. He looked at me oddly and questioned whether she had any appreciable child-rearing skills. I wonder if men who are in the market for this sort of thing just don’t see women or their work.
@Hambeast – I’m right there with you! I’d love to have a Stepford Wife (TM). I don’t care if it’s sexy, looks like Rosie from the Jetsons, or is built like that adorable robot doggo. If it can wash the stinking dishes, I’m all for it.
Oh that could have worked as a Episode of “Deep Space Nine”. The Holo Sex works in some Quark’s holosweet programs be come self aware.