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No wonder Chad’s dick fell off

NOTE: Not this particular Chad

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By David Futrelle

This Chad guy the incels talk about all the time? He’s apparently a very busy guy, devoting many hours a day, every day, to partying in his pants with virtually every woman who crosses his path, whether she’s a Stacey or not.

At least that’s what this guy says, and why would I doubt him?

cuckboah 3 points 22 hours ago Why settle for anything? Fuck Stacy while she's around and fuck Becky when she isn't. Chad fucks like you jerk off. He fucking does it multiple times a day. Every day. He fucks more in a month than your dad has ever fucked, and your dad has fucked more in a month than you've ever fucked. Chad is getting exponentially more tang than you, my frenn. He Gets Stacy, Lacy, Becky, and Meg. Sometimes, if he's in prison, or if no foids are around for longer than a couple hours, he gets some Craig.

Busy, busy, busy! Mr. Cuckboah here may be exaggerating a little for comedic effect, but I swear this is what a lot of these guys seem to literally believe.

37 replies on “No wonder Chad’s dick fell off”

I love that they say this nonsense garbage like it is a fact, not totally bullshit.

Do these people know/are generally aware of the fact the average person has trouble reaching an orgasm more than 4-5 times a week? I mean even then, you’ll be running on fumes and it will be less satisfying each time, so what’s the point?

This hypermasculine Chad that has sex several times a day, every single day, is nothing more than a figment of their imagination.

I For some reason I read this to the tune of “My Favorite Things”*, after, ‘why settle for anything’

Helps the medicine** go down, in a most delightful way

*that I’m never getting

**poison

I can’t for the life of me remember the ranking of the names incels use for women.

Is Stacy the top rank, or is it Becky? Can we get a chart?

…on second thought, forget it. If I’m going to fill up my brain with fictional nonsense, I’d rather it be MLP and Gunnm trivia.

Where does Chad find the time to work if he’s so busy nailing every vagina in sight? For that matter, how does he eat, drink, sleep, pee, poop, shower, etc.?

I have so many questions for our incel “friend”.

Stacy would be the hottest one. The HB 8-10 women. Becky is a more average women. But she still gets Chads, because Chads are just insatiable that way. I’m not clear on who Lacy and Meg represent. I’m just going to guess that Lacy is Stacy’s quirky and less popular twin sister. I don’t know about Meg though.

Do…do Chads have jobs? And if so, how exactly do they hold their jobs down if they need to pop out to have their scheduled sex every couple of hours?

I can’t keep the cast of this incel puppet show of bitterness straight at all. Are there character sheets at TVTropes or anything I can read?

@Cat Mara: I was just thinking the same thing. Who TF are Craig, Lacy, and Meg?

@Reggie:

Do…do Chads have jobs? And if so, how exactly do they hold their jobs down if they need to pop out to have their scheduled sex every couple of hours?

I’m guessing they just schtupp any feeeeemales who happen to be on the job site. Or maybe the boss’s poor neglected wife, who’s that way because Hubby Dear is with his secretary.

@Castrating Harpy

Oh Chad will fuck them in the rain
And Chad will fuck them on a train
Chad fucks Stacey here and there
And he’ll fuck Becky anywhere

So basically the only way chads could possibly be having as much sex as incels think is if they literally leech a living off sugar mamas their entire life.

Kind of destroys the whole money motivation for female hypergamy.

Every year Chad spends more time in a woman than the average fetus.

Hmm, I wonder if you would consider the average fetus’ time in a woman per year would be 9 months, or if it would be less, since there’s only a three month window of the whole gestation happening within a single calendar year, and all the rest of the time, the gestation will be split over two different calendar years. I guess under those conditions, a fetus spends an average of 6 months in a woman in any given calendar year.

That would still be quite the feat for Chad to pull off, though. That guy is really committed to his work; no wonder woman like him so much.

You SJWs clearly know nothing about Chad and his busy schedule. Allow me to clarify.

Chad is magic. Whatever Chad wants, Chad gets, immediately.

And what Chad wants is to fulfill every incel’s fantasies. So if some incel somewhere wants to have a zillion orgasms an hour, Chad actually has a zillion orgasms an hour. If another incel desires Stacey, Tracey, Megan, Suzanne, or that handsome dude Craig, well, then, Chad has sex with that individual.

Yes, all this action would tire an ordinary man. But Chad isn’t ordinary. He’s Magic Chad.

I hope I was able to shed some light on this important topic.

Sometimes, if he’s in prison, or if no foids are around for longer than a couple of hours, he gets some Craig.

So Chad’s bisexual, then? Never thought that incels would think or talk about bisexuals. Usually, they’re too busy talking about women’s “sexual marketplace value”. Funny, really.

If bisexuals are giving incels a hard time by having sex with Stacy, Becky, Craig and Tommy, then I’m glad they’re giving incels a hard time.

@WWTH

So, Chad is kind of like Santa?

Yes! Chad is Santa, an X-rated Santa. His gifts are that incels get to live through him vicariously.

It’s like some weird reboot/cover of Mambo No. 5….

A little bit of Stacy tonight….
A little bit of Lacy, all the time….
A little bit of Becky in the Sun….
A little bit of Meg, all night long….

….a little bit of her makes him a man….

….MAMBO NUMBER….FIIIIIIIIVVVVVVEEEEE….Point-0!

@reggie

I guess at this time of year he’s Santa Chad

Yes! He works tirelessly — beyond tirelessly! — to make incels’ fantasies come true. That’s why he’s a saint.

Do these people know/are generally aware of the fact the average person has trouble reaching an orgasm more than 4-5 times a week?

For “average person” do you mean “average testicle-haver”?

Vulva and clitoris havers can be a bit more multi-orgasmic.

Being one myself, I’d say 2 or 3 a day 5 or 6 times a week would be about right… most of those involving no other human beings, of course. But hey, sex with someone I love.

Also it can be a bit inhibiting to do-it-yourself when sharing a bed with sleeping partner, so likely I was more orgasmic (differently but pleasantly) when I was single. – ie for most of my life.

SantaChad will only deliver sex gifts if your stocking is hung at the right angle and has the correct minimum circumference. (He’s also making a Dark Triad list and a Cucked list, so you’d better watch out.)

@ buttercup

Well I don’t know about ‘wristcels’; but it’s certainly over for naughtylistcels.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
December 7, 2018 at 4:01 pm

Stacy would be the hottest one. The HB 8-10 women. Becky is a more average women. But she still gets Chads, because Chads are just insatiable that way. I’m not clear on who Lacy and Meg represent. I’m just going to guess that Lacy is Stacy’s quirky and less popular twin sister. I don’t know about Meg though.

I guess Meg’s the cute British shapeshifter….
https://i.ibb.co/ySgBvmf/http-sniktbub-wdfiles-com-local-files-file-171487-124046-meggan-171487-124046-meggan.jpg https://i.ibb.co/cw2nhd3/https-uncannyxmen-net-sites-default-files-images-costume-meggan-bigcostume3.jpg
….I confess that I always preferred her old costume (Left) but I guess folks figured the neck part was out-dated.

Is Chad lesbian as well? I mean what if a lady has lesbian fantasy sheChad can fulfill those as well.

Conclusion: Chad’s a gendershifter!
Chad’s like the migrants who can be employed, unemployed and raising 18 children all at the same time.

@Bluecat: can, but I wouldn’t say that’s the average. Something like 5%-25% of women have low orgasm success or chronic orgasm problems.

And then some women just have such overwhelming orgasms that more than one seems too exhausting most of the time.

Women are just more varied than men it seems.

“Not this particular Chad.” Never say never. Guy is in a band, after all. Or maybe that should be “band.”

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