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Incels debate whether punching themselves in the face will make them more attractive

Stop hitting yourself! (Seriously, don’t hit yourself.)

By David Futrelle

Over on Incels.is — the successor site to Incels.me, which recently found itself tossed off the internet — the regulars are discussing what they evidently feel is one of the central issues of our time: Can dudes make themselves more appealing to women by punching themselves in the face?

Take it away, dude-who-calls-himself-rahultmnt:

[Serious] will punching your own jaws and chin make it more defined ? Thread starterrahultmnt Start dateSunday at 11:25 AM rahultmnt rahultmnt Recruit - Sunday at 11:25 AM#1 I know there are martial artists who has hardened their hand bones by punching walls and crazy shit like that. So i was thinking WHAT IF I PUNCH MY OWN FACE[ :feelsrope:].... there will be some microfractures to my jaws and chin, and then when it heals. it will be harder ? more defined ?

Naturally, Incels.is being the malignant shitsite that it is, some of the regulars piped right up to tell him to GO FOR IT.

Getlooksordie Major - Sunday at 11:26 AM#2 of course, or do you think chads are just born with a good jaw and chin?! WithoutMe WithoutMe low iq boys represent - Sunday at 11:27 AM#3 JFL if you aren't selfharmaxxing in 2018

A few of the regulars objected to rahulmnt’s plan, but he was unconvinced.

rahultmnt Recruit - Sunday at 11:29 AM#6 Adoring Fan said: :giga::feelsmega: wtf man , something tells me this will go very wrong. Don't try anything stupid. what ? the worst that could happen is i would knock myself out.. im just going for the chin and jaw [ they are naturally designed to take punches ].. not the nose or temple or anything like that

Nor was he swayed by the testimony of a fellow incel who claimed to have tried this unique “looksmaxing” strategy himself.

rahultmnt Recruit - Sunday at 11:31 AM#9 Septembercel said: JFL, My jaw is a bit crooked and underdeveloped on one side so I actually ended up punching myself as hard as I could in the jaw once. Didn't help anything and I almost dislocated it instead and now it looks even worse you need to build up tolerance gradually i guess

Yeah, I don’t think that’s how it works. You can’t punch yourself handsome. (And, seriously, if you’re honestly contemplating physical self-harm, for any reason, please reach out to a person or an organization that can help.)

A few other commenters, also less than enthusiastic about the punching-yourself-in-the-face strategy, suggested assorted alternatives, ranging from “tough chewy mastic gum” (to strengthen the jaw muscles) to Human Growth Hormone.

Sure, working your jaw muscles will indeed strengthen them. And you’re not likely to hurt yourself chewing gum. But Human Growth Hormone could be as bad for you as punching yourself in the face. 

Even more to the point: continuing to obsess over the precise structure of your face isn’t going to help you find your way to a better life. It’ll make you more depressed, more bitter, and in the end less attractive — not only to the women you’re interested in, but to pretty much everyone else on planet earth.

It’s not a few millimeters of bone, as the incel trope has it, that separates self-described “involuntary celibates” from the guys women are genuinely attracted to — it’s the kind of person you are. And the weird mixture of self-pity and narcissistic entitlement that the incel movement encourages makes even conventionally good-looking incels deeply unattractive to women.

Seriously, guys, just fucking stop this shit.

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jsrtheta
jsrtheta
3 years ago

“They are naturally designed to take punches.”

Aha! A new affirmative defense to battery charges!

Bina
Bina
3 years ago

I dunno, it didn’t do a thing for Dickie Spencer.

Also, the “hardening bones” thing is assfax, as any orthopedist will tell you.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
3 years ago

So if we punch an incel in the face, we can defend ourselves by saying it was for their own good, and we were saving them the cost of a plastic surgeon?

I know it would be wrong, but damn…

Nequam
Nequam
3 years ago

Pfft, why stop at mere bare knuckles? Incels, go to it with a 4lb cross peen hammer! The harder you hit, the more the libs will cry!

Handsome :Punkle Stan: Jack

watching the handsome squidward spongebob episode has given them some strange ideas.

Makroth - cowboy Jacobin from Hell
Makroth - cowboy Jacobin from Hell
3 years ago

The only suggestions i could think of to give to the incels would violate the comments policy.

Nym (Not) of the Family Trollverson
Nym (Not) of the Family Trollverson
3 years ago

I like the stop hitting yourself graphic.
It would be kind of neat if this thing caught on, and became a wake up call.
What does the blackpill get you? Doing a schoolyard bully/abusive older sibling’s job for them, for free!
Incels everywhere sitting on their asses with chipped teeth and bitten tongues having a moment of Profound clarity.

Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

Muay Thai practitioners often deliberately impact their shin bones to supposedly induce hypertrophy and induce bone regrowth. There’s an urban legend in the martial arts community that Thailand thus has the highest incidence of shin (sic) cancer in the world. There’s never been a proper study done on that though. There was a study on volleyball players however; and that did show much higher instances of bone cancer correlating with areas that took a lot of repetitive impacts.

So I think the moral is, don’t punch yourself in the face.

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

God damn cloudflare. Anyway, reported the new site to the entities who oversee the .is domain extension.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
3 years ago

I’ve heard it said (now can ANYONE think of a better form of evidence than THAT????) that girls-who-can-get-any-guy-they-want aren’t really that into a guy’s looks, at least not primarily. I’ve heard it said that girls-like-that are interested in things like personality… maybe… conversational skills. Stuff like that. I dunno, I’m not a girl-who-can-get-any-guy-they-want.

I’ve heard it said, tho, that if you ACTIVELY TRY to be an unlikeable ASSHOLE… nobody is gonna wanna like you.

Maybe I’ve heard wrong… ???

Full Metal Ox
3 years ago

…So punching oneself in the face is the new Prussian fraternity dueling scar?

(I’m given to understand that the point of the exercise was to incur the badass body mod, more than any practical martial application,and that a fair number of those were even surreptitiously self-inflicted.)

ThatGuyWithThe3DS
ThatGuyWithThe3DS
3 years ago

The fact that they’re discussing this in earnest would be hilarious if it wasn’t for the time we live in.

It’s amazing the lengths people will go to avoid the tiniest amount of self-reflection.

Hippodameia
Hippodameia
3 years ago

Incels, not whining on the internet is manly.

FelineFinethePunLioness
FelineFinethePunLioness
3 years ago

I want to believe this is fake
I know it isn’t but I want to believe it

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
3 years ago

If this actually worked, wouldn’t boxers all have stunning Adonis – nay, Chadonis – faces?

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
3 years ago

Human growth hormone?

You know what happens if you take HGH and your growth plates are already sealed?

The bone grows where it still can. So you will get long, spidery fingers, a pointy chin and a pointy nose.

This is a condition called acromegaly and is most of the time induced by a tumor in the pituitary gland that causes it to produce excess HGH.

Aside from the typical growth patterns there are a host of other health issues.

Catalpa
Catalpa
3 years ago

Even if breaking your bones did make them stronger, which it doesn’t, that still wouldn’t change the shape of the bone unless it heals in a particularly abnormal and almost certainly harmful way. (I suppose that doctors/dentists sometimes break people’s jaws in order to realign their bite, but that is 100% something that should only be performed by specialized professionals and definitely not to oneself.)

Bones and muscles are two entirely different things and they do not function in the same manner at all.

Full Metal Ox
3 years ago

@Knitting Cat Lady:

By way of illustration, here’s actor Rondo Hatton before and after the onset of acromegaly (which may have been triggered by exposure to chemical weapons in WWI):

http://thewarriorsjourney.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/guy-300×222.png

Vucodlak
Vucodlak
3 years ago

“tough chewy mastic gum” (to strengthen the jaw muscles)

I used to chew a pack of gum a day, way back when. I could bite through soda cans but, strangely, that didn’t get me any dates.

Sly Fawkes
3 years ago

Not having shitty personalities would make them more attractive instantly. Of course, they are never going stop being heinous little misogynist sociopaths who hate everyone, so they will always be ugly. Self-fulfilling prophecy.

Weatherwax
Weatherwax
3 years ago

Well, that’s… certainly a point of view.

Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
3 years ago

of course, or do you think chads are just born with a good jaw and chin?!

Does this guy literally think chads punch themselves in the face and that’s how they get hot?

Damnit, I’m doing it now. There is no such thing as a chad, they aren’t real. Stop infecting me

….Is it wrong that I find this whole thing funny? Probably. But given that incels would most likely hit women given half a chance, I’m going to laugh anyway

STOP HITTING YOURSELF

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
3 years ago

I thought this would be something along the line of Prussian duelling scars – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dueling_scar

But no, I should have known, it’s much less well thought out than that.

Citerior Motive
Citerior Motive
3 years ago

I always understood that hardening the hands, as practised by martial artists, was about hardening the skin of the hands by building up calluses, not hardening the bones, which as Bina remarked is information straight from the University of RahulTMNT’s Arse.

Alexisagirlsname
Alexisagirlsname
3 years ago

Hey, incel dudes worried about your lack of a powerful jawline, instead of punching yourself repeatedly in the face, why not just grow a beard? It will cover up whatever imagined issues you have with the shape of your skull and, because beards are super fashionable at the moment, will allow you to blend in with the Chads like you’re one of them.

Or, you know, do anything that isn’t punching yourself repeatedly in the face. There’s no way that will end well.

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