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Obsessed much? Dude who’s tried to post 86 comments to my blog since I banned him … accuses me of obsession

Well, at least he’s a fast typist

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By David Futrelle

So on Friday I put up a post featuring some of the exciting hate mail — well, hate comments — that I get on a regular basis. I ended the post with two short paragraphs in which I gently mocked one hate commenter who’d set forth the thesis that “women suck dick because dick built and maintained all upon the earth.”

Yesterday, I got a response from another regular would-be commenter on this blog accusing me of being obsessed with Mr. I Built Civilization With My Dick.

I devoted all of 73 words to Dick Dude’s comment; this dude’s reaction was literally twice as long.  Here’s his opening paragraph:

So, Dave, on a scale of “Definitely Harder than the Jewels Encrusted on His Presidency’s Manly Penis” to “I Just Blew My Load and Drowned Everyone in a Five Mile Radius,” how excited did writing about that guy’s penis get you? You seem to have enjoyed yourself FAR too much during the writing of that pathetic screed; do you do ANY ORIGINAL work, or do you just wait for real men to say things that offend your MSM soiboi sensibilities?

Er, dude, the entire purpose of this blog is to track the terrible things that self-professed  “real men” say and do. Hell, the whole point of journalism is to report and comment on the things that other human beings say and do.

I can’t imagine Mr. Literally Shaking would prefer it if I switched this blog to an all-memoir format, or simply used it to recall my dreams (which are entirely self-created and definitely original).

Also, dude, you’re the guy sitting around thinking about bedazzling Trump’s penis. I mean, I don’t want to kinkshame, but I’ll make an exception if your sexual fetish involves Trump and his penis in any way.

The rest of his comment is similarly penis-centric.

Have you ever actually been inside of a woman, or is your penis so small that being on the receiving end of a desperate butt-thrusting from sodomites at your local organic candle coop the only way a sweaty, flabby beanboy pajama-Sally ass-ribbit like you can experience penetration of any sort? Lol, scratch that, you wrote the guide book to fucking oneself, and I advocate that you take your advice, you rotund, anus-pecking jelly hound.

Wait, I’m supposed to be the obsessed one? Dude, my dick is apparently living rent-free in your head, as they say.

Oh, but things get even more ironic. The guy who tried to post this comment is a troll I banned on this blog more than a year ago. Not that the ban has really slowed his output much. Since being banned, he has tried to post 86 comments to this blog; I’ve let through maybe 20, because I thought they were sort of funny, but the overwhelming majority remain in the moderation queue. I haven’t even bothered to read most of them.

And these aren’t short comments either. They tend to run between 100 and 200 words long. Assuming an average length of 150 words, this means that the dude tried to post nearly THIRTEEN THOUSAND words worth of comments to this blog in a year, knowing that the vast majority of them wouldn’t be seen by anyone but me. (He may have posted more under different IP addresses but I’m too lazy to go back through the mod queue to determine if this is the case.)

In any case, I don’t think I’m the obsessed one here.

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Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

Please leave Toad alone. What has this poor denizen of the Mushroom Kingdom done to deserve the abuse of being bedazzled???

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
3 years ago

France has now outlawed catcalling. Misandry!

Diego Duarte
Diego Duarte
3 years ago

@Kat

We can only hope that it will be enough to stop Kavanaugh’s confirmation, or at least delay it by a significant amount. Hopefully there is ample evidence to have at least a month worth of headlines and investigations and whatnot.

The reality is though that McConnell already declared that he has enough votes to confirm him and he’s gonna try to ram him through.

@Paradoxical Intention

Well Toad has always been a bit of a dick, what with him posing as the princess several times and sending us to find her in yet another castle.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

I’d repost the Captain Haddock rant for comparison but frankly I’ve done that too many times already – but yeah, this is totally him.

@wwth

So… I guess I’ve got my eyes so focused on the US these days, I didn’t even know.

Z&T
Z&T
3 years ago

Band names, album names, art titles ..

Be sure not to overlook anus pecking jelly hound.

MissEB47 (Resident Rainbow Lorikeet and Beak Typist)
MissEB47 (Resident Rainbow Lorikeet and Beak Typist)
3 years ago

Wow. This guy is very obsessed! It seems very cyber stalkish to me. I hope his behaviour doesn’t escalate. ?

MissEB47 (Resident Rainbow Lorikeet and Beak Typist)
MissEB47 (Resident Rainbow Lorikeet and Beak Typist)
3 years ago

Shelia Crosby-that is one very beautiful mushroom!

Skiriki
Skiriki
3 years ago

Hey FYI, I just saw “NWO_slave” trying to pick a fight (and getting laughed at) with Kurt Busiek in Twitter. Wonder if that’s the banned arseknob from here.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
3 years ago

@Katamount:

What kind of person writes 86 times to the same blog that banned him about “soibois” and other nonsense like this?! All that effort could be put to something far more constructive.

The kind who doesn’t want to do anything constructive, because that changes things, and he (almost always a he) wants to maintain the status quo at best, and quite possibly to turn back the clock.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
3 years ago

@Skiriki

Ooh. Links? =3

Sinha
Sinha
3 years ago

Can you address this ‘soy boy’ nonsense that racists and bigoted conservatives love to use? Apparently people who consume soy are supposed to be weak and feminine (as if being a woman is a bad thing). I’m a vegetarian male, and I eat lots of soy, I also lift weights, play sports, and run for miles regularly. I’m much likely fitter and stronger than these insecure hateful twerps.

Chris Oakley
Chris Oakley
3 years ago

Rabid Rabbit: whoever it is, the guy’s a complete headcase.

K.: in addition to all their other sins great and small, the Barstool crew are guilty of being abysmal writers. I would be genuinely and deeply shocked if any of them have ever read anything more sophisticated than “Penthouse” .

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
3 years ago

They think that the plant estrogens in soy lower sperm counts and feminize men. Vegetarian diets are pushed on white men so they have fewer white babies.

Super ridiculous even without getting into their pseudoscience when you consider that Asia, where the diets are typically more soy and less meat based than North America is the most populous continent by far. Or that eating tons of meat was a luxury most in Europe and North America didn’t have before industrialized agriculture. The notion that you need a meat heavy diet to reproduce is just absurd. But MAGAs are absurd.

Skiriki
Skiriki
3 years ago

OK, so either he’s blocked or gotten himself banned by now, but you can scroll down this thread for some screencaps of his drivel: https://twitter.com/KurtBusiek/status/1044449279165616129

You can also check Kurt’s (incredibly polite) replies prior to this too.

Skiriki
Skiriki
3 years ago

Addendum: forgot to mention that the other pest of various *gates and assorted hate, RPGPundit, also showed up on heels of #comicsgate to push his #DnDGate as an attempt to cash in for that sweet, sweet alt-right money-funneling nipple. Your life will get immensely better if you block Urbanski and whoever follow him and whoever he follows in Twitter.

https://twitter.com/KurtBusiek/status/1044348174842834944

Diego Duarte
Diego Duarte
3 years ago

@Skiriki

He has such a puncheable face. Also, the way he writes and judges others, you’d think he was Schwarzenegger’s and Stallone’s cousin, instead of the most regular ass man, with a subpar mustache from the 80s, who looks like he has never been to a fight in his entire life.

FelineFinethePunLioness
FelineFinethePunLioness
3 years ago

I’ve never seen someone reference male genitals this much in a short span of time especially the Orange Wannabe Overlord’s one ….
Id rather not imagine more of that

I call Pajama Sally’s Ass Ribbits as my band name

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