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Here’s a new one: “Bisexuality is an attack on men”

Woman preparing to waste precious sex units on another woman (not pictured)

By David Futrelle

Last night, some anonymous dude — and I’m pretty sure it was a dude — sent a curious (cat) message to a woman I follow on Twitter:

I want you to understand that you live in a special snowflake bubble and for the rest of us, bisexuality is an attack on men.

The woman in question replied with a simple “what.” And that “what” is quite understandable, as the man’s statement does not make sense by any standard system of logic. Bisexuality is a sexual orientation, not a prejudice, after all, and things that women do for their own pleasure in their own homes aren’t anyone’s business. Also, this dude seems to think that only women can be bisexual, which would be news to a lot of people if true.

But as someone who has studied the peculiarities of manosphere logic for years now, I think I can explain this guy’s strange assertion. I have prepared several diagrams you may find helpful.

First, let’s look at what happens during normal sex-having procedures.

In this world, everything is as it should be: Ladies deliver the required sex units to men, and all men receive the number of sex units that are their due, and everyone is happy. While the men have sex with the ladies at the same time the ladies have sex with the men, no sex units are sent by the men or received by the ladies because ladies aren’t actually interested in sex; they merely store the sex units they are born with until they can be sent to the proper men.

I should add that all the ladies and men depicted are not all in the same bedroom or anything degenerate like that; this is a symbolic representation of the sex system as a whole.

Now look at what happens when bisexuality is introduced.

As you can see, when some ladies in a sex system start having sex with other ladies as well as with men, half of their sex units are wasted on pointless lady-lady sex, which doesn’t really count as sex and even if it did ladies don’t really enjoy sex anyway. (Bisexual men exist too, but their bisexual activity is more like a fun hobby and doesn’t deprive women of anything because women don’t like hobbies.)

With half of the bisexual ladies’ sex units going to waste on other ladies, many men only receive half of the sex units they need and deserve! In the real world, it’s even worse, and some men receive no sex units at all and have to sublimate their sex urges into getting mad at ladies on the internet — especially bisexual ladies who seem like they might be having lots of pointless lady/lady sex and wasting the sex units they could be sending to men who are mad at ladies on the internet.

A bisexual lady sex-unit-denying attack on any man’s happy sex life is an attack on all men. Therefore bisexuality is an attack on men.

It’s really not that complicated at all, now, is it?

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BD1
BD1
3 years ago

I guess these idiots never heard of bisexual men.

Christ, their entire universe is from the minds of 12 yr old guys who just learned how to wank.

Chris O
Chris O
3 years ago

Something about that guy just makes me want to grab him by the collar and yell a la R. Lee Ermey, “What is your major malfunction, numbskull?!”

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
3 years ago

I’d guess this is based on the old manospherian whine about how women “experiment” with dating and hooking up with other women in their younger years, thus depriving men of those sex units mentioned. Then when they’re all dried up and about to hit the wall at 30, they sign up for their beta cuck provider having wasted their HB8 years on not-men. Misandry!

Sylvia Daniella Foxglove
Sylvia Daniella Foxglove
3 years ago

Well, it does help power up my man killing laser doom machine.

Mexican Hot Chocolate
Mexican Hot Chocolate
3 years ago

As a bisexual man, I am a little miffed that these chuckle-heads don’t know that bisexual men exist.

Bina
3 years ago

Guys who read everything as an “attack on men”, even when it has nothing to do with them, are dooming themselves to inceldom. MISANDRY!

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
3 years ago

*charges up Bisexual Ray*

*aims at OP*

pewpewpew!!!! 😀

Viscaria
Viscaria
3 years ago

for the rest of us, bisexuality is an attack on men.

Nice! I my bisexuality makes the rest of you feel attacked! I hope the rest of you feel really shit forever! 😀

Janice Tania Price
Janice Tania Price
3 years ago

Thank goodness I’m over thirty. My sex units have hit the wall and don’t count.

Klew
Klew
3 years ago

Yeah, uh….How many “sex units” are we (women) born with and what happens when/if we run out?

Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
3 years ago

@Klew

I think I was born with less than the factory standard to begin with.

Tovius
Tovius
3 years ago

@Klew

Maybe you hit the wall early?

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
3 years ago

Silly as it is, David’s diagram is way more coherent and artistic than the average MRA meme graphic thingie.

Catalpa
Catalpa
3 years ago

As an asexual, I am proud to have hoarded ALL of my lady sex units to myself. THEY’RE ALL MINE AND I DON’T EVEN USE THEM FOR ANYTHING, AHAHAHAHA! The misandry is intoxicating.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

Oh no. Not the Bi Beams!

brian
brian
3 years ago

David: I’m worried about you. That you were so easily able to formulate an extensive Manosphere Argument from one bizarre sentence means, I think, that you’ve spent FAR too much time immersed in their culture.
You need a vacation, maybe? you certainly DESERVE one, for sure.

epitome of incomprehensibility

I needed a laugh, thanks!

But the question remains…

I want you to understand that you live in a special snowflake bubble and for the rest of us, bisexuality is an attack on men.

…how did they get the snowflake in the bubble?

I demand a scientific explanation!

A5PECT
A5PECT
3 years ago

Waiting for the manosphere to steal those graphics and try to use them sincerely.

Talonknife
Talonknife
3 years ago

Does this make me an attack on myself?

Eric
Eric
3 years ago

Why must the male icon basically be the emoji version of Jake from the Blues Brothers? Belushi’s comedy masterpiece deserves a better fate. “LOCUSTS!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4U9Yl5CXvcQ

Though in retrospect, his character is pretty much the ideal for MRAs. Hmm…

Z&T
Z&T
3 years ago

More aces here, we wave hi!

We’re all attractive women too. What were we just talking about? Were looking at the “meat salad” thread and someone mentioned the vegetable kohlrabi. Friend said: Is that the thing that looks like a distributor cap?

Ha, yeah it does.

And a manure-spherian could turn this into an attack on auto techs, farmers, The Good Old USA! and anything else they could think of.

TB Tabby
TB Tabby
3 years ago

Slightly off-topic, but I’ve been watching the E3 trailers, and The Last of Us 2 is causing much wailing and gnashing of teeth from the manosphere because it depicts lesbians as normal.

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent, Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent, Bard of the New Movement
3 years ago

*pansexual musing*

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
3 years ago

Hey, so I have a minor dilemma I wanted to run past everyone if you all don’t mind. It’s about queer stuff so it’s at least tangentially related to the topic.

People may or may not know/remember that maybe two years ago or so, I finally figured out after all these years that I’m aromantic. It was never that big of a deal that I figured it out. More just nice that I had an explanation for why I’m not like most people. It was just one of those that explains so much lightbulb moments. I don’t even remember who I told this to and who I didn’t. It’s not a secret to the people in my life that I don’t bother to to pursue romantic relationships and it’s rare that anyone gives me shit about it. Family occasionally. Friends never.

Well, for some reason this pride month, I keep running into stuff online, mostly on Twitter about how ace and aro people are part of the LGBTQ community and it’s shitty to try to gatekeep them out of pride. Now I don’t disagree with that at all and wouldn’t argue with any other aro person or any ace person who does identify as LGBTQ. But the thing is, I never did. I always felt like it would be a bit appropriative because I am still cishet.

Now I’m starting to rethink that. Even though I’m not explicitly trying to tell ace and aro people they shouldn’t identify LGBTQ, doesn’t that fact that I’m consciously not doing it implicitly say that? Am I just lying to myself because identifying with the cishet camp rather than the queer camp puts me in a privileged place? Just because I’ve been around queer people my whole life and don’t have negative thoughts about being queer, doesn’t mean I haven’t absorbed any anti-LQBTQ bigotry. I may live in a progressive bubble here in my city, but it’s not like I’m unaware of the wider world. Should I just embrace being in the LGBTQ umbrella even though in my first 38 years of life it never occurred to me to? Any other cishet aro or ace people here ever go through a similar dilemma?

I don’t know, maybe I’m just navel gazing too much!

Jen L
Jen L
3 years ago

Honestly, though, they’re just mad they aren’t invited.

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