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David Futrelle: Inventor of communism and fascism, murderer of millions, unlucky at love?

FYI, watch out for gamma rays!

As a mildly internet-famous man, I get fan mail sometimes. Often in the form of drive-by blog comments that show up fairly regularly in the “pending” folder on my WordPress dashboard.

This morning I discovered a flattering little missive from someone calling himself RedPillGuard, who has many strong feelings about me, most of them loosely tied to my alleged status as a guy with a particular Greek letter attached to me.

David you are a gamma male, worse than an omega or beta. Not only do you have a female mindset, your kind embody the unflattering, backstabbing, evil, ruthless, greedy, cowardly, stubborn and manipulative qualities of women.

Not only do I have a “female mindset” but I’m also … like a woman?

Where they have Cleopatra you betas have Gamma Males like yourself.

I thought I was just a Gamma. Now I’m a Beta also? Greek is hard!

RedPillGuard follows up this expert distillation of my character by expressing the desire to see me raped in prison.

A lot of drive-by commenters would have left it at that. But RedPillGuard is just getting started. Turns out I’m responsible for several centuries worth of mass killings!

Pol Pot, Joseph Stalin, Khrushchev, Mao, Lenin, Robespierre, Hitler, Trotsky, Hugo Chavez,. You are the scum of this planet, in the last century your kind murdered over 100 million people on the planet, you created communism and this mess of cultural marxism today.

You can’t get laid so you channel your energy to focus on other sad activities.

Like genocide, apparently.

Women scorn you because you mirror back a woman‘s most unflattering traits, and no woman even wants you to be her beta because she knows if you had her child you would likely sell them to slavery on the black market or take them to somewhere they have a high probability of dying in.

Wat.

Sad you will not succeed.

Huh? Dude, I apparently murdered 100 million people before I was even born. I’d call that a pretty big success!

In a followup comment, RedPillGuard asks:

Why don’t you meet Roosh V in real life and see who has more confidence instead of passive-aggressively making jabs at him gamma male coward?

This is a somewhat ironic statement to be coming from an anonymous internet commenter.

At this point you may be wondering: aside from all the genocide and hypothetical child-selling, what is it exactly that defines the Gamma Male?

RedPillGuard links to an old post from Theodore “Vox Day” Beale, the racist fantasy author and self-styled pickup guru who came up with the Gamma classification, based on extensive research centered around his own posterior. According to Beale, there are four key characteristics of this imaginary personality type that he made up.

  1. Overly romantic (dramatic self-narrative)
  2. Conflict-avoidance (passive-aggressivene and plausible deniability)
  3. Delusion (exaggeration and posturing)
  4. Lack of success with women

I guess I am a bit conflict-averse, if you don’t count my intermittent political activism and most of my writing career. So that’s one out of four.

And now I have the theme song to the old Hulk cartoon show in my head. So let me, in my passive-aggressive way, put it in yours!

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PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
5 years ago

Congratulations, David!

I’m sure old RedPillGuard thought you’d be devestated by his rapier-sharp insults, but as it turned out, he made your job easier by delivering a mock-worthy diatribe directly to you!

So, thanks, @RedPillGuard. I’m quite sure that’s not the effect you intended, but it’s one you deserve. ?

Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ dalillama

Are you familiar with the John Lewis Partnership? That’s a shop (sort of) we have over here. Be interested in what you think of it.

Lady Mondegreen
5 years ago

Jeez but David has been a busy little bee! Must be good at multitasking.

Where they have Cleopatra you betas have Gamma Males like yourself.

Wait, Cleopatra VII was ruler and had alpha males drooling over her. Doesn’t that make her an alpha?

@Alan Robertshaw

Ironically, if they were as good at Greek as their obsession with the alphabet would suggest, they’d know ‘Cleopatra’ is hardly a name to smash Patriarchy.

😀

ikanreed
ikanreed
5 years ago

It’s amazing how much tough guys are absolutely obsessed with whiny screeds about people they allege to be beneath their notice.

dslucia
dslucia
5 years ago

@misophistry:
My first reaction was to look up “carborundorum”, and then I got sad about the Latin not being proper.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
5 years ago

@Dali, Ohlmann

I think Ohlmann’s referring to our current ruling party’s “socialism”. I’m not sure I would call it that.

isn’t a meaningfully different statement

I disagree but mostly on form : the main difference is that capitalists and aristocrats will, by nature, compete among each other to the point of regularly screwing over each other for all they have. The Party’s at least supposed to prevent that issue and be more efficient (except it doesn’t, because bureaucracy can be just as vicious). Meanwhile, capitalism actively encourages it and plays the angle that competition leads to people trying to do better than the others and thus constantly offering more to society at large. It’s a barely evolved form of the aristocrat’s attempt at outperforming another aristocrat to gain favor from the monarch – except the idea of a “society at large” has replaced the monarch for PR reasons.

They’re based on opposite visions of what drives humanity – one says cooperation, the other competition. That they eventually lead to similar dumpster fires shows that one of them is not enough on its own to actually serve as a basis for what kind of society we want (also it’s not gonna work if you skipped the “don’t eat each other” part), and that the other is shite and seriously that should have been obvious from the start, for fuck’s sake.

Both systems share the idea that a chosen few are fit to rule all others, and that The Plebe ™ should never, ever, question the good will of the powerful. Maybe that’s got something to do with the aforementioned dumpster fires.

Re : Trotsky, yer right, I’m unfair myself. He was disappeared before he had the chance to not be a mass-murdering dictator, and History will never know that he wouldn’t have been, even though that’s the reason he was murdered himself.

@David

Here’s an arguably mass-murdering dictator. Today he is widely regarded as a feminist, so he’s basically what they’re comparing you to. I don’t believe he used the firing squad quite the same way you wield the banhammer, but otherwise he doesn’t seem like such a bad guy to be compared to.

There’s an urban legend that says his bodyguards were an all-women unit of bikers. That’s, like, the coolest rumor about a ruler I’ve heard.

Dr. Thang
Dr. Thang
5 years ago

David, you’re my second favorite gamma male.

http://i.imgur.com/yM9ajPK.jpg

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
5 years ago

@Sinkable : I am not calling Holland a socialist. Some decency is in order. I do call Mitterand a socialist (that’s debatable ; after all, apart from the death penalty removal, he did not do much good), but most importantly I call the Popular Front and the French Committee of National Liberation that way, both because they actually defended the right of workers in important way.

@Dali : you can redefine socialism as basically communism, in which case, yes, there is no difference between them by definition. But that mostly show a misunderstanding, because social democracy is mostly a mix of actual socialism and liberalism, and is mostly linked to a bunch of governement that say that they are said, but they can’t do anything for thoses poor workers.

In short : socialism isn’t communism, so ascribing the various crime of communism on it is disingenuous. It’s even more important given that the association you do is used by right-winger everywhere to chip at worker rights.

Dalillama: Irate Social Engineer

@Sinkable John

I think Ohlmann’s referring to our current ruling party’s “socialism”. I’m not sure I would call it that.

Sure, and Bernie Sanders goes about calling himself a socialist too, but that don’t make it so.

I disagree but mostly on form : the main difference is that capitalists and aristocrats will, by nature, compete among each other to the point of regularly screwing over each other for all they have. The Party’s at least supposed to prevent that issue and be more efficient (except it doesn’t, because bureaucracy can be just as vicious).

Um… yeah, that’s my point: the actual outcome is the same. regardless of the specific details of the rhetorical bullshit used to justify it.

“Meanwhile, capitalism actively encourages it and plays the angle that competition leads to people trying to do better than the others and thus constantly offering more to society at large. It’s a barely evolved form of the aristocrat’s attempt at outperforming another aristocrat to gain favor from the monarch – except the idea of a “society at large” has replaced the monarch for PR reasons.”
Yes, and? Power-hungry fuckheads will say whatever they have to to get it, and anything they say is meaningless bullshit by default. The only constant underlying message is ‘do what we say and nobody gets hurt’. This, incidentally, is also a lie. Lots and lots of people will get hurt.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
5 years ago

Yeah I did say I was only disagreeing on a purely cosmetic matter. That they’ve both based their bullshit on underlying visions that are fundamentally opposite, even though it’s still bullshit in the end.

I still believe in the cooperative vision though. Just wish it wasn’t so grossly misused all the time.

Viscaria, product of 20,000 evolution
Viscaria, product of 20,000 evolution
5 years ago

I’m spending the week with my wife’s conservative family. I’m about to fucking self-destruct.

Yeesh. Wishing you strength to get to the end of it.

My roommate’s emotionally abusive mother has been staying with us for a few weeks now, and it’s… interesting. She’s perfectly nice to the rest of us, but she treats her own daughter with such incredible disrespect. I look forward to when she leaves, but it’s not clear when that will be.

Ray of Rays
Ray of Rays
5 years ago

All the Greek lettering has made me wonder what mu males would be.

…so now I’m trying to come up with a cheesy pickup line incorporating coefficients of friction, but nothing’s coming to my poor, iota male head.

PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
5 years ago

Are psuedo-religious Theta men Thetans?

Phryne: Tool of the Butt-Worshipping, Lesbian-Powered Elite (also cats)
Phryne: Tool of the Butt-Worshipping, Lesbian-Powered Elite (also cats)
5 years ago

How are you both ruthless and cowardly? This makes no sense.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
5 years ago

@Phryne: Tool of the Butt-Worshipping, Lesbian-Powered Elite (also cats)
I guess what they mean is you do terrible things but on the first sign of danger you flee?

Anne Lewis, Jib Creatr
Anne Lewis, Jib Creatr
5 years ago

@Ooglyboggles

I guess what they mean is you do terrible things but on the first sign of danger you flee?

Oh, so like a certain popular vote loser?

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
5 years ago

My father-in-law started a conversation with me in the pool about Sweden and refugees, obviously parrotting all the American right wing talking points and lies. I corrected some of the more outrageous statements, but had to let quite a bit go. It led to him yelling about how black Americans are “savages” who simply won’t or can’t learn how to live normal human lives. He went on to rant about his blck co-workers who, according to him, are terrible at their jobs because black people just have no drive to improve and learn anything, and also no incentive because “special treatment”. He also spent several minutes trash-talking Trayvon Martin. Still!

Eventually he got upset with me for maybe, possibly implying that he might be a teensy bit racist. He threw a tantrum about being “instantly labelled racist” just because he has “a different opinion”. In this tantrum, he explained that black Americans will never want to work, since in the days of slavery they “didn’t have to do anything” and could just relax and let “the white man take care of them”.

After all this, he complained to my wife that I was being “a real jerk” for calling him racist (even though I didn’t).

The oldest son of the family had his 29th birthday a few days back. He had requested that we all go to a specific restaurant to celebrate. When we had sat down at the table, the waiter came over with menus. He handed menus to all the women first, before moving on to the men, because weird chivalry crap. The birthday boy was so upset with this practice that he slapped the menus out of the waiter’s hand, and then demanded that his mother drive him back to the hotel immediately. She did, of course, and the rest of us had an awkward and quiet dinner celebrating nothing in particular.

Oh and that’s not a typo. He’s not 9, but TWENTY FUCKING NINE.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

I was wondering about “ruthless” and “cowardly” myself.

I suppose my cat would fall into that category. When she doesn’t like what I’m doing (getting mats out of her fur), she’s inclined to try to tear my face off and then run away.

Of course, she’s my kitty and so I don’t think of her as either ruthless or cowardly. She’s just expressing herself. And she’s pissing me off.

Viscaria, product of 20,000 evolution
Viscaria, product of 20,000 evolution
5 years ago

@IP

Eventually he got upset with me for maybe, possibly implying that he might be a teensy bit racist. He threw a tantrum about being “instantly labelled racist” just because he has “a different opinion”.

This is the worst. He’s the one making it awkward by being a huge fucking racist, but you’re the bad guy for not completely disguising your reaction to his racism?

The birthday boy was so upset with this practice that he slapped the menus out of the waiter’s hand, and then demanded that his mother drive him back to the hotel immediately. She did, of course, and the rest of us had an awkward and quiet dinner celebrating nothing in particular.

I don’t… I can’t.

All the sympathy.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
5 years ago

he explained that black Americans will never want to work, since in the days of slavery they “didn’t have to do anything” and could just relax and let “the white man take care of them”.

What the…what?

I’ve heard right wingers say black people were better off as slaves before but I think this is the first time I’ve heard of anyone speaking of slaves as if they were pampered house cats.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

I’ve heard right wingers say black people were better off as slaves before but I think this is the first time I’ve heard of anyone speaking of slaves as if they were pampered house cats.

I’ve read period work that made that argument. The gist is that the mental labor and stress required to do the books and make sure the plantation remains in the black is the REAL work, while the manual labor required to make the plantation run is simple and spread amongst so many hands as to be easypeasy. Hence the white slaveholder had it so so so much worse than the black slave.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
5 years ago

@IP

The birthday boy was so upset with this practice that he slapped the menus out of the waiter’s hand, and then demanded that his mother drive him back to the hotel immediately. She did, of course, and the rest of us had an awkward and quiet dinner celebrating nothing in particular.

Just, what? Okay the father unloading his bile on you and then crying victim is one can of worms, but the other, just. He’s Twenty screaming Nine years old, has he not been ever told “no” or punished for anything?

@weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
I think that’s paternalistic racism.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

OT

Donald Trump’s tweets in the past couple days have been downright demure:

Honored to sign S.442 today. With this legislation, we support @NASA’s scientists, engineers, and astronauts in their pursuit of discovery!

Today on #NationalAgDay, we honor our great American farmers & ranchers. Their hard work & dedication are ingrained in our nation’s fabric.

Spoke to U.K. Prime Minister Theresa May today to offer condolences on the terrorist attack in London. She is strong and doing very well.

What ever happened to the Donald Trump who used tweets to attack anyone left of Kellyanne Conway and made every tweet about himself?!

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
5 years ago

@Oogly

Yeah, no. He literally gets whatever the fuck he asks for, and he never does a single thing for himself. The other night he made garlic bread (pre-sliced bread with a lot of butter and tons of garlic powder), and he treated it as a major achievement, like he’d made dinner or something.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
5 years ago

@Kat
After months of bad press and failures to push out his agenda, after months of attacking absolutely everyone and anyone, now he tries to curry favor from the same groups he’s happily trying (and failing) to screw over? It seems like a little too late to start on his takeback actions.

@Imaginary Petal
That is the very definition of a spoiled brat.

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