When I began this blog six years ago, the Men’s Rights Movement was little more than a curiosity. I’ve watched, with both amusement and alarm, as this small movement has inspired, and ultimately has been eclipsed by, a broader anti-feminist, anti-woman backlash, online and off, driven largely by the same white male rage.
Each new iteration of this backlash has been more toxic — and, sadly, more influential — than the last, ultimately culminating in the rise of the alt-right. Which is to say, the newest incarnation of fascism.
Now the openly racist, openly misogynistic idol of the alt-right has been elected president. Obviously, not everyone who voted for Trump was white or male. But his candidacy was powered in large part by the same kind of white male rage I have been writing about virtually every day for the last six years.
While Trump’s election is, without question, a catastrophe — in ways I will be chronicling in detail over the next few months and years — Trumpism isn’t built to last. Trump’s victory was a narrow one — indeed, he actually lost the popular vote — and the demographic group that served as the backbone of his movement (white men) is shrinking relative to those groups Trump has railed against.
In many ways, Trumpism seems to be a classic example of an “extinction burst,” a term used by behavior psychologists to describe a weird and seemingly paradoxical pattern of behavior. As Popsugar summed it up in a post earlier this week:
[W]hen a certain type of behavior or action isn’t really getting its desired results any longer — say, a child’s tantrums failing to get Mom or Dad’s attention — there’s often a period when a subject struggles even harder, makes more noise, and generally throws an extremely loud fit. In other words, extinction burst is that last-ditch ramping up before an inevitable flame-out.
Trumpism, like all backlashes, is doomed to fail. Unfortunately, it is likely to do a tremendous amount of damage before it goes, not so gently, into that good night. In the meantime, I will do my best to make sense of the toxic stew of racism and misogyny at the heart of Trumpism, and to provide support for those fighting against it or just trying to get by). And so I’ve changed the tagline of this blog from “the new misogyny, tracked and mocked” to “surviving the Trumpocalypse” to reflect this broader focus.
Don’t worry: I will still be writing about MGTOWs and MRAs and the other strange misogynistic creatures that I’ve been writing about from the beginning. While I recognize they are but a sideshow in the era of Trump, I just can’t quit them, and I suspect that a lot of you can’t either.
@WWTH – respect Trump? No. That is too much to ask. That I remain civil to his supporters is the best Mr. Buffet can hope for.
Also, I am so sorry this is bringing back so much pain for you. I wouldn’t hug you because I’m more of a hands-to-myself person but I would definitely sit beside you and feel sad with you.
@losername – I would do the same with you. That you were ever put in such a position is abominable. I wish you the best of luck navigating life. I’m glad you ran away. I regret so much the pain you suffered. I do think you are right about the reasons behind some women voting for Trump – deep-seated, institutionalized sexism is a tough nut to overcome. I wish you continued courage and strength.
@Cynical Optimist: Maybe Lincoln, though the demographics this time around are completely reversed. IDK how to change the avatar.
This might be a weirdly twisted version of Godwin’s law, but the Southern US states started their secession bills literally after the results for Lincoln’s election became publicized.
@Cynical Optimist – welp, I think Obama was pretty deeply hated, by the very people who love Trump.
Losername, that’s a great (but sad) story, and you’re courageous for telling it. The teal deer on your question “Why why why do so many women think that way? Why are those of us who don’t think that way in the minority?” is in the dynamics of the way patriarchy perpetrates itself in domestic violence, popular culture (Disney princesses, anyone?) and the use of laws and brute force in asserting power over women. Seriously, your mother’s line
is literally what I’ve read on Vox Day’s blog (which I haven’t visited since Wednesday morning as I’m sure he and his followers are enjoying all their schadenfreude). What’s the answer? I don’t know. Things were worse, much worse, for women in the past, and a lot of women worked and bled to get us where we are now. A meme I posted said “I didn’t come this far just to come this far.” Maybe feminists need to repeat this line and remember where our predecessors came from.
He will, I hope have a lot of assistants to keep him in line, maybe that’s just wishful thinking?
@losername
All my love. Not good enough, woefully not, but it’s what I have <3
Re: Avatar Change
Gravatar. Make an account using the email you use here. It's a whole process, but it's pretty step by step and self explanatory. Then find your pic and follow the instructions. If ya need more help, I gotcha covered. Just ask 🙂
Trigger warning: eating disorder.
*
*
*
The day after the election was also the day that my meal discipline went to hell. I just didn’t eat: not because I wasn’t hungry but because I just didn’t get around to it. Today I was feeling faint – like I normally do when I haven’t eaten – but still had no appetite. I forced myself to have lunch but I haven’t eaten other than that. I’m going to make some food with my partner and then at least try to eat while she’s around. It’s easier to do it when I’m not alone.
I want to be able to say something meaningful to ej and WWTH and losername and everyone else who’s having a hard time, because I want them to know that they aren’t alone. I want to be helpful and inspiring. Instead I feel acutely conscious that I can’t say anything other than a banal “hugs” whilst my jerkbrain tells me how stupid I am for not being able to eat.
It’s great to have people that I can actually say this to, without them immediately feeling that they have to demand answers from me. I really love all of you.
(Granted, this was MSNBC so maybe they deliberately picked this guy) Yesterday I saw a senator from Arkansas (Tom Colton) say on national television, like it was nothing and normal, that we “may need” to change federal law [to allow torture] and that he “simply disagrees” with McCain, you know, a veteran who was actually tortured, that water boarding is torture.
He also said that we need to emphasize how /Islamic/ groups like ISIS are /instead/ of their extremism and that we should only let Yazidi and Christian refugees in because “it’s easier to vet an entire group instead of individuals.” What the actual what? That doesn’t even make sense and is openly discriminatory. The torture thing is a violation of Human Rights too. Our own Eleanor Roosevelt helped usher the Declaration into being. People like this used to irritate and offend me. Now they scare me.
Closer to home was an anti-Muslim representative who spent tens of thousands of taxpayer money to investigate the “threat” of Muslims to our state, and has said truly awful things, even receiving an award for his bigotry by an anti-Muslim group.
I really hope my fears are just out of proportion; I remember back when people thought Obama’s election signaled the end times. But these kind of people are in office and now they have momentum and a “mandate” and nearly all branches of government. The only people who can stop them legislatively are other Republicans and I don’t think they care enough to be counted on, as their voting base isn’t as dependent on minorities.
From “I Can Haz Cheezburger” with love.
On Twitter, Trump is claiming that there is a small number of protesters, and that they were hired. (And he had to add that special Trumpian touch by saying that it’s ‘not fair’. I wonder if he stamped his feet, too.)
@WWTH
I’ll respect Drumpf just as much as those shitheels respected Obama.
Thank you so much for the wonderful empathy and hugs! You folks are so lovely and caring and amazing! Thank goodness that people like you exist in the world!
Since I brought everyone down (or at least more down than everyone already is), I see that I probably shouldn’t have left off the end of the story. I am now living exactly the life my mother told me I would never be able to. I went to adult high school and then studied part time for a degree. Now I have a job I fricking love as an engineer and a wonderful man I fricking love who would sooner pull out his own teeth than hit someone.
I’m just upset about all the women who aren’t as lucky as me and I feel like they were thrown under the bus by those female Trump voters who subscribed to those same toxic beliefs that my mother did. I’m the lucky one, I got out. What about all the rest?
Ah hell, these personal stories are so sad. It makes me realise that even under the Tories I, as a non working medicated psychotic with degenerative disc disorder, am fortunate because I have a decent social security safety net (just) and access to free healthcare (for now). All my virtual hugs for everyone now in precarious and uncertain or just plain shitty circumstances now. 🙁
How? Mr. Buffet, you’re a smart man, you SEEMED to be progressive when you asked other billionaires to give up half their money to try to alleviate economic disparity… were you just fooling us? How do we respect a man who has said the things he has said? How do we respect a man who has actively encouraged the worst among us to vent their bigotry? How do we respect a man who can watch people being subjected to hate crimes by others who are USING HIS ELECTION AS A JUSTIFICATION FOR ABUSING THEIR FELLOW HUMANS and that man complains that people protesting this are “unfair”?? How do we respect this man? Mr. Buffet, DO YOU RESPECT THIS MAN?? This is an important question, because if you do, then you’re complicit in his bigotry. No, Warren, I will not respect this man.
@ losername:
love and respect.
YES!! You ROCK!!!
@Malitia
America fucking itself into the gutter? Seems apt.
I’ve been a lurker here for quite a long time; I love the posts, and the comments. But, this one has me perplexed. I didn’t vote for either candidate; I refused to pick the lesser of two evils (and yes, they are both deplorable people), but, why is everyone freaking out so badly? A presidents power is limited. Isn’t this a bigger wake up call that the right has been ignored and treated like a bunch of idiots for too long? That their opinions have been pushed to the side, and mocked by the overzealous left side? I live in rural America, and most of rural Americans are conservative (I’m one of the few liberals). The last thing on everyone’s minds here is abortion rights, gay marriage and racial tensions. My neighbors are worried about their jobs, about their health care, and about their very livelyhood. They see the left as a bunch of slackers that care more about feelings than reality. Perhaps the left needed to get more involved in the issues that rural America cares about. And, let’s not forget the media circus that both sides is dealing with. We have to find a common ground in order to move forward. Trump is not ideal, but, he is here for four years; so, instead of doomsday scenarios, why can’t we at least TRY to be positive.
@Karaola
It was titled “Symbolism of the Day: Bald Eagles Stuck in Sewer”
http://cheezburger.com/8989146880/symbolism-of-the-day-bald-eagles-stuck-in-sewer
On “Uniting for the good of all”
How do I explain to my family why I will NEVER stand with Trump? They know all the things he’s said and voted Hillary, and I will vouch that they are good people. They’re just… ignorant, I think. They haven’t seen the scum the line up behind him the way I have through this blog, and I don’t know how to explain it to them.
Any advice?
Also thanks for tip Axecalibur. I’ll get on that as soon as I can.
@EJ
Working my way outta that phase myself. Solidarity, brother
@Cynical_Optimist
Maybe for example show them videos like this one where a Black man is accosted by an officer for walking in the shoulder of the road when the sidewalk is blocked by construction. Ask them how they would feel if they were constantly treated like this by police officers. How they would feel in the world if they have to live in fear of the police that are supposed to serve and protect them.
@losername, and everyone else, but especially in response to your story,
You’re the strongest of us, even though you might not feel like it. You’ve lived through terrible suffering and actively defied it to become compassionate, thoughtful, and strong. I’m sure you can think (and probably are thinking) of the hundreds of times that you were not these things. That’s how you know that those things are in your nature – the exceptions stand out so painfully.
You defy their hate just by existing. Don’t ever feel lesser because of your past, or your failings.
@EJ, I’m much the same right now. I don’t eat well on the best of days, and these days, barely anything. Note that not eating enough calories is going to increase your stress hormones, increasing feelings of anxiety and making it harder to concentrate.
When I get like this, I find that oatmeal is a good go-to food. Gentle on an anxious stomach, full of calories so you don’t need a lot, and it’s delicious if you use whole oats instead of instant or rolled. Maple syrup and raspberries if you have it.
(When I go to a new breakfast diner, I always order oatmeal. Well-made oatmeal is the sign of a good kitchen; gluey or soupy (or instant) is a sign of a kitchen that doesn’t give a damn.)
It’s Friday evening and I’m dealing with it by getting drunk.
Here’s the recipe:
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cwn8TAcWQAA9c6a.jpg
Public service message:
Cis women and afabs (assigned female at birth) who care about trans women, if you are still able to access this when the dust settles, please consider getting an Rx for estradiol-only birth control, not for yourselves (unless that’s what you use), but as a way to help the many trans women who are going to lose their hormones.
Anyone who can get an Rx for it, please consider getting spironolactone for “acne” or for your “blood pressure.”
Unfortunately, I don’t know of any equivalent way to help afab trans folks. If I find one, I will assuredly post it.
Actual responses later.