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Open Thread for Personal Stuff: April 2016 Dogs Enjoying Couch Edition

Dogs making full use of a couch
Dogs making full use of a couch

An open thread for personal stuff. As always with these threads, no MRAs, trolls, jerkfaces, etc.

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kupo
kupo
6 years ago

@Kat
Mrs. T’s are the best. My dad being male and all, the family recipes were never passed down to him, so we always had the frozen ones growing up. I’d still buy them if I didn’t find out they make me sick.

If anyone is interested, this is the dough recipe I used. I went with a potato and cheese filling, juse lIke Mrs. T. 🙂 http://www.faithfullyglutenfree.com/2013/10/gluten-free-perogies.html

Sheila Crosby
6 years ago

@Kupo Published fiction writer here, but don’t get too impressed. I’m not J. K. Rowling, although I’ve sold about 50 stories over the years -mostly for peanuts.

It sounds as though your stories lack conflict. Now conflict doesn’t have to mean violence, but your protagonist needs to want something, and there has to be a problem with getting it. There are traditionally three types:
1) Inner conflict. I want to lose weight, but I love chocolate cake and work in a bakers. Or I want to ride off into the sunset with this gorgeous bloke, but it would mean ditching my career and I have a thing about being financially independent.
2) Protag against nature. I slipped and broke my leg. There’s nobody around to help. It’s also cold, raining, and getting dark. If I stay here all night, I’ll die of exposure, but the car is half a mile away. And did I mention the broken leg?
3) Protagonist against antagonist. I want this contract to save my business and thereby have enough money to send my kids to college. But Fred also has his eyes on the same contract because he wants a boat. And his firm’s bigger, he plays golf with the potential customer, and he fights dirty.

It works much better if your protagonist fixes the problem by their own efforts rather than, say, winning the lottery of having Batman turn up. Protagonsists should protag!

If you’d like to send me a story for quick comments, my email is crosby dot sheila at gmail dot com.

A Land Whale
A Land Whale
6 years ago

Got fooled by another undercover misogynist. There is a Youtube channel called TakeDownMan that I really liked and the guy posts about stuff he finds on the deep web, some of which is just interesting, some of which is scary as fuck, and he even helps bust pedophiles and snuff filmers with his hacking skills. Yes, seriously.

But then he made a video about the “most rachet women” on the internet and guess who two of them were.

Laci Green
Anita Sarkeesian

Because, Laci Green “thinks rapists should be convicted without at trial or evidence” which she has never said and Anita Sarkeesian wants to “O NOEZ CHANGE VIDEO GAMES!”

HE EVEN FECKING COMMENTED ON THEIR LOOKS!!! He mentioned something like, “Laci is cute but is an evil feminazi and you should stay away from her.”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was livid, of course and had no trouble telling Mr. Internet Crusader who goes around busting pedos and murders but is terrified of two tiny little women who want the rest of women to -GASP- be treated like humans and want game developers to make more kinds of games for more kinds of players what a hypocrite manbaby he is….Pedos and murders are bad but the REAL violence that happens to REAL women and the THREATS of violence that happen to women who speak against it don’t matter…in fact, this dildo is going out of his way to help it along. Naturally, the rest of the comments are horrid because everyone agrees that feminists are evil.

The other “ratchet” girl was a girl who was talking about having sex with a dog….which is gross but I’m pretty sure it’s made up…..soooo feminists are on the same page as dog rapists, apparently.

Another channel I frequent about mental health….eh….I won’t give the name because I still mostly like what the guy says and am not 100% ready to give up on him(he’s even said he really likes what he calls “real” feminism…I know, it’s gross but at least there is some form of feminism he supports…and also how much he likes academic feminism because it is very critical of the modern mental health status quo, as is he)….was going on a rant about misandry and what a huge problem it is….and he was serious….and I cannot take anyone seriously when they start talking about how misandry is a serious problem for reasons I’m sure I don’t need to explain to you folks (but I will explain it if anyone asks). The other thing is, I watch all his videos, I know who the regulars are. Most of his other followers are pretty cool (though he has a rather persistent MGTOW that I have tried to help many times but who won’t accept help) and are always trying to help each other out….but because of THAT video, all the trolls are coming out of the woodwork and harassing everyone else on the channel (including me).

So sad and angry and disappointed. I really don’t want to hate all men, but I’m starting to. It seems like it’s only a matter of time before they all show themselves to be misogynists. It hurts my sense of hope for the future. I guess my one comfort is both guys are not exactly young….but still….

Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
6 years ago

@A Land Whale
There are horrible misogynists out there, and sometimes it seems like they’re the only men in the world, but that’s an illusion caused by the volume of their screams. There are also amazing feminist/ally men in the world who believe in equality and want to make the world better. From reading and participating in this blog I can name David, Alan, ColeYote, and FrickleFrackle (just a few from the top of my head) among those amazing feminist men, and you can find even more by hitting Google and plugging in things like “male celebrities who are feminists” or “feminist male scientists” or “male feminists in gaming” or whatever pertains to your particular interests.
Please don’t give up on men. There are many great ones out there and all feminists, women and men alike, need to stick together to counteract the loud misogynists.

Dalillama
6 years ago

@A Land Whale

(he’s even said he really likes what he calls “real” feminism…I know, it’s gross but at least there is some form of feminism he supports

What he means by that is almost certainly that he supports the likes of Cristina Hoff Summers. i.e. he’s not a feminist at all in any meaningful way.

A Land Whale
A Land Whale
6 years ago

Thank you, Nikki. That might help. It’s so disheartening at times….I feel like I shouldn’t have to specifically chase after men who run around saying, “YES, I AM A FEMINIST,” because it seems like there SHOULD be people who feel that way that don’t go out of their way to publicly declare it every five minutes….but it seems like if they don’t, then they are more than likely misogynists. It’s also not great that I have the unfortunate condition of heterosexuality. I mean, I’m glad these men exist, but how likely am I to nab one? You know? -cries-

Dalilama, you could be right, but I’m not sure. He doesn’t mention a lot of feminists’ names but he’s not a conservative for sure so I dunno if CHS would be up his alley. He just mentions having taken some courses in feminism, which he admits he did for a joke and then to his surprise he ended up loving them. The whole channel is about mental health stuff so he mentions feminist critiques of the mental health system, how “studies” on mental health are almost exclusively geared toward men even when the majority of clients seeking help are female, how treatments are geared toward male patients, how certain disorders and personality traits are said to be more of a “problem” in this gender or that, how abuse is not quantified (or even qualified) properly, how female patients in particular are gaslighted and victim-blamed, how patients are diagnosed with different disorders based on gender when they suffer from the same things, and how bullcrap all of that is…so it’s not all bad.

…but then he goes down the “women are just as likely to be abusive” bullcrap, which is provably wrong when it comes to ALL forms of abuse, physical, mental, emotional, financial, verbal. Sometimes he is saying it because he wants to help men get over their “dude I’m too manly to be a victim and get help, bro…help is for women and manginas” bullcrap (which he also mocks)…other times, I think he’s just blowing himself. He’s a recovered PUA (and admittedly very not proud of it) so I think I am extra forgiving….but the misandry rant had me thinking, “-baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarf-.” I want to be optimistic and just say that he is still learning but……meh.

A lot of the things he’s said have been very helpful to me but when he goes down certain avenues, I’m hesitant to throw it all away.

…..but…..REALLY?! MISANDRY?!

Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
6 years ago

@A Land Whale
You’re welcome!
If you’re worried about the difficulties of dating while feminist, I’d suggest asking questions on dates/online dating sites or when you meet a man you think you might want to date. Depending on your mood and bullshit tolerance level for the day and the guy’s personality, you can either directly ask him “Are you a feminist?” or go with a more subtle question, like “What do you think of the ‘pink tax’ on women’s toiletries?” or “Did you hear about (insert recent newsworthy issue affecting women here)? What are your thoughts on that?” or “How would you improve the characterization of women in video games/movies/TV?”
You’re a great person and I’m sure that in time you’ll find a guy who’s perfect for you. Even if you don’t, single life can be fantastic and happy (although as a current happy singleton, I may be a bit biased here) and your friends’ kids can never have too many honorary aunties.

A Land Whale
A Land Whale
6 years ago

@Nikki, I probably shouldn’t have brought up snagging one. I kinda forgot to mention I gave up on men. :oX It’s not really what I want to do but it’s inevitable. I’m middle aged, overweight, undertall, and have no marketable skills….oh, and I’m a feminist, which is penis repellent as most know. The guys who are into feminists wouldn’t want a fat old dorky awkward broke weirdo probably. :o/ Anyway…I appreciate you taking the time to write though!

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
6 years ago

@A Land Whale

I’ve had similar problems with finding male friends in my meatspace life. I’ve pretty much given up, but that’s mostly because I just don’t see any particular reason why I should have specifically male friends. I know some good, genuinely feminist dudes, including my brother. We’ve come to the same conclusions about almost everything in life, despite never talking about these topics until well into adulthood.

I made a few male friends when I used to write about videogames more than a decade ago now. Those guys, maybe surprisingly, all turned out feminist friendly.

I think in my case it might come down to the fact that I’m fairly obviously not a stereotypically bro-y dude, and those guys probably just don’t gravitate toward me. I suppose a dating situation is completely different. Maybe make friends first, then date your friends? Is that even legal?

Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
6 years ago

@A Land Whale
Re: my last comment-Sorry I couldn’t be more help for your particular situation! Hopefully it can help someone else going through a similar problem.

A Land Whale
A Land Whale
6 years ago

@Imaginary Petal, I dunno, it might be against the Bro Code…lol!

I shouldn’t have mentioned dating because I gave all that mess up…but in moments of weakness I sometimes think of it.

A Land Whale
A Land Whale
6 years ago

Undercover misogynist #2 confirmed. Turns out you were right
@dalilama…he gave it all away in the comments section, which I just finished up with, despite my instructions to myself NEVER READ THE COMMENTS lol!

Here are some real gems, “I’m not an MGTOW or anything but I understand the sentiment,” and, “I’m not an MGTOW but are you serious that you think women have it worse in the world than men?” and, “Teaching boys consent is shaming to them because it makes them think they are defacto rapists.”

-sigh-

Sadly, this guy is a psychologist and about how most of his clients are female…..I’m REALLY sorry for all of his clients….

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