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Dudes! If you’re friends with a lady, “you’re a vagina,” explains Reddit lady expert

Dogzoned!
Dogzoned!

Fellas! Do you have any female friends? Do you hang out with them without having sex?

Well, apparently you’re doing it all wrong, at least according to the world-class relationship expert and Red Pill Redditor Throwaway244555. In a recent post on the Red Pill subreddit, he explained the fundamental rule of male-female friendships, which is that there should be no male-female friendships.

Woman are friends with woman, and they have sex with men. So if you’re her friend, you’re a vagina.

Remember, fellas, women are for sex, so if one of them wants to Netflix and chill without the chill part, tell her she’ll have to Netflix alone. By the way, “chill” in this context means sex. Like coffee, Netflix and chill means sex. And may not involve Netflix at all.

You ask this girl to be your gf, she rejects you but ask if we can still be friends. That’s a insult, she thinks less of you.

If a woman likes you, Mr. Throwaway244555 contends, she will let you put your penis in her. If she says she likes you yet is not interested in your penis she is insulting you to your very core. And if you actually do become friends with her, you are failing so utterly as a man that you might as well be a vagina.

A male and female aren’t suppose to be friends, they’re suppose to be love intrest. So basically you’re a vagina, because girls are suppose to be friends with girls, and fuck men. Also girls are horrible friends, all they do is leech off you, and cause drama.

So when a girl rejects you, and puts you in the friendzone, it’s a insult. Next time she says let’s just be friends, say no thank you.

DO NOT LET HER ROPE YOU IN WITH HER TALK OF “FRIENDSHIP.”

Or, I dunno, you could just go ahead and be friends with her, and look elsewhere for sex and/or romance?

I mean, sure, if you’re in love with a woman who isn’t in love with you, you’ll probably do the both of you a favor if you move on instead of taking her friendship as a “consolation prize,” which is really a shitty thing to consider a friendship to be.

Or if you decide to become “friends” with a woman because you hope to eventually manipulate her into having sex with you, well, that’s pretty shitty too. So stop it, and move on.

All this applies as well with the genders reversed, and in same-sex couples, and indeed in any gender variation possible.

But Jesus H. Christ, dudes, you can be friends with a woman if you want to. You can be friends with her if you don’t want to have sex with her. And you can be friends with her even if you sorta do.

I mean, seriously, dudes, you know that gay men are friends with other gay men that they never actually have sex with, right?

That said, if you’re a Red Pill dude, I would strongly suggest you not become friends with any women at all until you cease to be a Red Pill dude.

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mockingbird
mockingbird
6 years ago

*reads Regford’s second reply*

Yep, Freemage called it.

comment image

So. Fucking. Boring.

Kootiepatra
Kootiepatra
6 years ago

Hey, everyone from the previous post where we talked about purple prose: We’ve got a doozy here.

mockingbird
mockingbird
6 years ago

@Blackjack, et al re: friendships between gay/bi/poly men and straight/bi/poly men:

Back before I knew that the whole manosphere existed – really, the last time men’s rights was on my radar was when the whole drum circle men’s retreat thing was happening back in the 90s, and it seemed legit then – I had the following exchange with a guy who couldn’t understand why he was having such a difficult time meeting “good women” (summarized, because it was awhile ago):

Guy: Dating sites are awful. I message all of these girls [note: this wasn’t a flag for me then, it is now] and they either don’t message back or just play games. I can’t meet anyone.

Me: Well, how do you meet friends in general? What do you like to do? I’ve always found that the best way to meet someone worth dating is to do what I like, find guys like to do the same, and move on from there.

G: That’s not how it works for me. Besides, what if I meet someone like that and she’s not interested?

M: …then you didn’t find a new date, but you gained a new friend…?

G: Men and women can’t be friends.

M: …

G: It just doesn’t work that way. There’s always sexual tension. If a man’s sexually attracted to a girl, he can’t leave it at friendship.

M: [I knew from other conversations that he, a straight guy, had at least one good but kind of casual gay male friend] But what about you and [that guy’s name]? You’re friends, right?

G: Well, yeah – but I’m not sexually attracted to him. Sex would never happen, so we can be friends.

M: But what if he’s sexually attracted to you, knows that it will never happen, but enjoys your company and friendship anyway? He’s a man, right? Wouldn’t that apply to him?

G: But I would never have sex with him, so it’s not the same.

M: It wouldn’t be the same in a friendship between you and a woman who’s just not interested?

G: No, because there’d always be that tension.

M: So…could you and a lesbian be friends?

G: …no, because that tension would still be there.

M: Ohh, so you’re saying that you personally can’t be “just friends” with a woman because you know that your attraction would get in the way.

G: No. Well, yes, but men and women in general can’t be friends because of the sexual tension. It’s not just me. It’s always true.

M: …but a gay man can be friends with a straight man even if he’s attracted to him…?

G: Yeah. It’s just different. Men are friends differently than women.

I wish I could say that I called him on his bullshit and moved along, but this conversation went on forever. I kept trying to find out…fuck, I don’t know. He just seemed so obtuse. I was sure that there’d be some “Aha!” moment when he realized that what he was saying made no sense, had no internal consistency, but no such luck.

Or, tl;dr: For these guys, they can only see as far as their own boner.
For most of them, there’re also probably the corollaries: Men are simply fundamentally better/greater/more than women.
&
A woman’s only worth is in the worth found in her by men.

Jarnsaxa
Jarnsaxa
6 years ago

My best friends are usually men, and they’re perfectly capable of being friends with women. Asshat is just projecting his own inability or unwillingness to be friends with women onto every other man.

Typical manosphere misandry, in other words.

Newt
Newt
6 years ago

@Steampunked – thanks, I didn’t know about the Hemingway App. I’d been using Flesch-Kincaid calculators to judge over-engineered text.

Chandler’s ode to the SMV got a readability score of 27, which is not a bad effort for a drive-by – assuming it’s original, and not copypasta.

sunnysombrera
sunnysombrera
6 years ago

For a second I thought Chandler might be Vox Day, what with his reference to sexual market value, insistence on biotroofs and nauseating purple prose.

Steampunked
Steampunked
6 years ago

You know, it shouldn’t be THAT hard to write an automatic MRA poster…we could also autogenerate names for them like Vox Elam.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
6 years ago

we could also autogenerate names for them …

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
6 years ago

@Alan:

Now I’ve got a craving for some Damon Runyon.

When you meet a gent who’s unclear on consent,
You can bet he’ll be blamin’ it on some dolls…
When a neckbeard claims every woman is scum,
It’s a cinch that his meme will totally seem
Obnoxious and dumb

Re: Chandler

the invisible hand of evolution

Adam Smith called, and asked you to stop wanking with it.

reimalebario
reimalebario
6 years ago

God gave us hands that reach to the knees for a reason.

Wait, is Regford a gibbon? Maybe he’s the troll from that cleverpie video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uz2jbCJXkpA

I’m pretty high up on the Gorilla Index, and my hands definitely don’t reach my knees (unless I bend over but then they’ll reach all the way down to the soles of my feet and noy just to my knees …)

Aris Boch
Aris Boch
6 years ago

The vagina is the Origin of the World, why does he uses it as an insult? That’s where all humanity issued forth from so far (ectogenesis doesn’t exist yet).

Nequam
Nequam
6 years ago

For these guys, they can only see as far as their own boner.

There’s the setup for a cruel joke there, but I’m too tired to come up with it.

Viscaria
Viscaria
6 years ago

It is, first and foremost, profoundly inaccurate to characterize human interactions as though they were anything but transactions occurring for the explicit purpose of satisfying the multitude of mankind’s illimitable needs and wants.

Beep boop, I am a real boy. My energy stores are currently low. I require sustenance in the form of motor oil human food. Beep.

Wetherby
Wetherby
6 years ago

My best friends are usually men, and they’re perfectly capable of being friends with women. Asshat is just projecting his own inability or unwillingness to be friends with women onto every other man.

And, conversely, many of my closest friends are women, and this dates back to my teens. I’m one of the most boringly monogamous people imaginable, and virtually all of the last 25 years has been spent in a one-to-one relationship of some kind (marriage over the last 15), so the question of whether I want to have sex with the other women in my life simply doesn’t arise. And whether or not they secretly want to have sex with me is completely irrelevant – I don’t know and I don’t care. It would only become an issue if my actual partner felt threatened in some way, but that’s only happened with one of them.

And even when I was single, a lot of the time sex just wasn’t an issue. It’s usually blindingly obvious if someone just wants to be friends, and I never felt it the least bit insulting or belittling – on the contrary, on average I’ve stayed in touch with my close female friends for considerably longer than I ever did with most of my sexual partners. Because a truly good friend (of whatever sex) is worth their weight in gold.

Kat
Kat
6 years ago

I hope I haven’t violated too many community guidelines.

Regford is much too modest. He devoutly hopes that he’s offended us all massively and that we’re running for our smelling salts.

He’s a particularly slimy troll because he’s all insinuation.

The next time I meet someone like him IRL, I think I’ll tell him darling stories about my cats. I’ve got a million of them!

Matt
Matt
6 years ago

That said, if you’re a Red Pill dude, I would strongly suggest you not become friends with any women at all until you cease to be a Red Pill dude.

Don’t worry, they use the strongest possible means to ensure that – their own personalities. Makes “I don’t interact with wimminz I’m not banging” true for them in the same sense that “I only ride purple unicorns on days that don’t end in ‘y'” is true.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
6 years ago

“friendzoning” – a person lets another person know that they like them and don’t find them sexually attractive. No dishonesty involved.
Message – I genuinely like you, would enjoy spending some time with you, you are a nice and interesting person.

“girlfriendzoning” – a person pretends to like another person purely and solely in order to try and have sex with them; often attempts to bully/”buy”/persuade/guilt the party of the second part into having sex with them; when that fails they can’t drop this person fast enough. Dishonesty all the way down.
Message – I never actually liked you or had any wish to spend time with you, you’re of no interest as a person.

And which of these is supposed to be harsh/mean/cruel/dishonest again?

I can understand that it’s saddening to find that someone you’re attracted to isn’t attracted to you. I can understand that unrequited love can be heartbreaking. It happens to women just as much as it does to men, and yes sometimes it’s hard to be friends with someone you have a massive crush on. But it’s good to know that someone likes you! Maybe you made a friend!
On the other hand, finding out that someone you thought liked you was just putting on an act to get you to sleep with them and actually thought you were boring/irrelevant etc. the whole time … always heartbreaking.

That’s why “friendzoning” is not an actual thing. Unlike “girlfriendzoning”, which is basically just a version of what PUAs actually admit they do.

Croosters
Croosters
6 years ago

@opposablethumbs

Not necessarily true. If the girl doesn’t particularly like you and wants to A) Avoid a mantrum from an entitled manosphere dick B) Wants to exploit the guy’s infatuation for her own benefit or C) Both, she won’t genuinely “want to spend time with you”.

Lukas Xavier
Lukas Xavier
6 years ago

For these guys, they can only see as far as their own boner.

There’s the setup for a cruel joke there, but I’m too tired to come up with it.

“…And that isn’t very far at all”?

Skiriki
Skiriki
6 years ago

Crikey, if I wanted to read prose that purple, I would continue active playing in MUSHes and MUXes.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
6 years ago

You know, even when you’re deeply attracted to someone and involved with them as a partner, sex represents maybe 5-10% of the pie chart of time you spend together. So what about the other 90%? That’s an awful lot of dead air to fill if you’re not friends and don’t like each other.

Unfortunately, for manospherians, women don’t real. Only men are interesting, three dimensional, have real hobbies and jobs, are loyal, love unconditionally, etc. Women are just scheming, annoying impediments to sex as far as they’re concerned – why be friends with them?

What a miserable way to live, moving through a world of interchangeable cardboard cutouts and reduced friendship possibilities.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
6 years ago

@Buttercup Q. Skullpants:
I don’t think they like men either, even men of their own ethnic and religious group. Looking at the way manospherians behave towards one another makes it seem as though they see one another as competition rather than as people whose presence enriches their lives.

(This is not to suggest that they are nearly as assholish towards men or as scared of them as they are towards women, of course.)

What a miserable existence.

Falconer
Falconer
6 years ago

You know, even when you’re deeply attracted to someone and involved with them as a partner, sex represents maybe 5-10% of the pie chart of time you spend together. So what about the other 90%?

Minecraft.

Binjabreel
Binjabreel
6 years ago

Anyone else get the feeling that Chandler is the sort of shmuck who has a marble bust avatar on social media?

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