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Scott Adams: We live in a matriarchy because men have to get permission for sex

Matriarchy in action?
Matriarchy in action?

The Paris attacks have inspired cartoonist and opinion-haver Scott Adams to reflect on some of the true injustices in the world today.

Specifically, the fact that in the United States, men often pay for dates, yet cannot have sex with women without getting their permission first.

In a blog post that is incoherent even by his standards, Adams compares the male-dominated societies of the Middle East with what he describes as “female-dominated countries” like the US.

In his mind, American men live in a matriarchal dystopia in which women force men to pay for dinner and open car doors for them:

When I go to dinner, I expect the server to take my date’s order first. I expect the server to deliver her meal first. I expect to pay the check. I expect to be the designated driver, or at least manage the transportation for the evening. And on the way out, I will hold the door for her, then open the door to the car.

Weird, because I’ve literally never had a date like that. And even if all this were true, as a general thing, it wouldn’t be proof that the US is “female-dominated.” Chivalry is part of patriarchy, not proof of matriarchy.

When we get home, access to sex is strictly controlled by the woman.

Er, dude, that’s how sex works. Both sex partners have to agree to it, otherwise it’s rape. And men have veto power when it comes to sex just like women do. Women aren’t allowed to force themselves on unwilling partners any more than men are.

If the woman has additional preferences in terms of temperature, beverages, and whatnot, the man generally complies. If I fall in love and want to propose, I am expected to do so on my knees, to set the tone for the rest of the marriage.

What a romantic fellow, proposing to a woman even though she’s some kind of spoiled princess who has preferences about room temperature and refuses to have sex when she doesn’t want to have sex.

Also, Adams wants everyone to know that when he talks over women in meetings, it’s not that he’s a sexist, it’s just that women talk too much.

Women have made an issue of the fact that men talk over women in meetings. In my experience, that’s true. But for full context, I interrupt anyone who talks too long without adding enough value. If most of my victims turn out to be women, I am still assumed to be the problem in this situation, not the talkers.

But really, the problem is that ladies just won’t shut up amirite fellas high five!

The alternative interpretation of the situation – that women are more verbal than men – is never discussed as a contributing factor to interruptions. Can you imagine a situation where – on average – the people who talk the most do NOT get interrupted the most?

Uh, yes. Because that’s not just a hypothetical “situation.” It’s the way the world actually works.

I don’t know if the amount of talking each person does is related to the amount of interrupting they experience, or if there is a gender difference to it, but it seems like a reasonable hypothesis. 

Unfortunately for Adams, this is a hypothesis that’s been repeatedly disproved. Men talk more than women in meetings, yet are more likely to interrupt women than women are to interrupt them.

Weird how Adams, who thinks of himself as a rational sciencey guy, didn’t even bother to do the 30 seconds of Googling that would have shown that his “reasonable hypothesis” was a crock.

Speaking of weirdness, Adams goes on to suggest that he might turn to terrorism if no one gives him a hug. Literally.

So if you are wondering how men become cold-blooded killers, it isn’t religion that is doing it. If you put me in that situation, I can say with confidence I would sign up for suicide bomb duty. And I’m not even a believer. Men like hugging better than they like killing. But if you take away my access to hugging, I will probably start killing, just to feel something. I’m designed that way. I’m a normal boy. And I make no apology for it.

NOTE TO SELF: Do not invite Scott Adams to any party without also inviting this dude:

Capturefreehugs

Or maybe don’t invite Adams to any parties at all.

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who's name
who's name
6 years ago

Wowwowowowowowowowowowow. Wow.

mockingbird
mockingbird
6 years ago

Unrelated, but these are relevant to a comments section:

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.969816653089244.1073741830.968877143183195&type=3

Sorry for the FB link.
Too lazy to find them elsewhere.

Virtually Out of Touch
Virtually Out of Touch
6 years ago

” But ultimately men should be “chemically castrated”, or they will become depressed because of not being allowed to rape.”

How hard is it to find someone who wants to have consensual sex with you?

Fred_the_Dog
Fred_the_Dog
6 years ago

I dunno, Ghost Robot. This guy was pretty cool. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_Buscaglia

Dumpster Jedi
Dumpster Jedi
6 years ago

Jeez, has he actually managed to get even worse?

zyrusticae
zyrusticae
6 years ago

How hard is it to find someone who wants to have consensual sex with you?

For some folks?

Well…

I don’t know, actually. But I’m pretty sure we can infer from lines like those that it’s an insurmountable task for some folks.

Let’s be real here, though – finding someone to have consensual sex with requires social skills, and a lot of these men have severely underdeveloped social skills… at least when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex. Also issues with empathy, which I imagine only compounds the issue further.

It’s times like this that I’m quite grateful I have absolutely no drive to have sex with anybody, if only so I don’t embarrass myself with such awful speech like these guys have.

griffon8
griffon8
6 years ago

Wow. I knew he was a creationist, but I had no idea he had gone that far off the deep end.

In the linked Scott Adams post, after the line Dave quoted about marriage proposals, Adams writes “Personally, I don’t date.” To which I thought, “I think a lot of people are glad for that.”

I’m having a similar reaction to the discovery that Thunderf00t is an MRA. I really enjoyed his “Why Do People Laugh At Creationists” videos (which numbered in the thirties last I checked).

Aaaaaand now I want to see a cage match between Adams and Thunderf00t. Maybe in the style of Celebrity Deathmatch.

AnAndrejaPejicBlog (@A_Pejic_Blog)

Urgh, Leo Buscaglia. He inspired my parents to suddenly change from typical low-affection Minnesota Lutherans to complete Huggy McHuggersons when I was 14. The horror. The horror.

LankyYankee
LankyYankee
6 years ago

@ej

“I do get annoyed occasionally when I pay and the server comes back with receipt and hands it to my partner to sign. They obviously didn’t look at the name one the card and assumed that he was the one paying for dinner. Most of the time when that happens, I will pointedly take the receipt and the pen, not rudely, but enough so that the server will notice. It’s not that big of a deal, but it’s still sexist for them to assume he is paying.”

OMG, this reminds me of a date I went on with my husband. We’d gone to a sushi restaurant for dinner, and we have a deal that whoever has organised the night pays for it. It’s fun and a bit of a treat, and it means we can also plan within our fluid budget at that moment.

So we finish eating and head to the counter to pay. I give the guy at the register our check and he rings it up and I give him the cash. I’m standing In front of the register, and my husband is to the side, helping himself to the free candies next to the door. After the guy finishes the transaction, he gives our change and receipt to my husband. Despite the fact that he’s not the one who had the check, paid the money, or was standing right in front of him. Then the register dude pretended he didn’t speak English when I got pissed and started to tell him off – I hate sexist behaviour like that.

Kat
Kat
6 years ago

@mockingbird
That’s a really sweet post about your husband. I hope that he reads it.

@NicolaLuna
I’m going to echo Fruitloopsie and say that I’m so glad that your situation has improved and your life is going well.

@Fruitloopsie
I don’t think that I ever said that I was jazzed to read about your trip to Haiti. Thanks for your work there. You’re an inspiration!

Kat
Kat
6 years ago

Another way we know we’re living in a matriarchy: The guy with the free hugs is offering them to others, not imposing hugs on them. And he’s holding up a cute, nonthreatening picture. And he’s smiling. And he’s good-looking and buff.

Who care about the plight of the MRA, who doesn’t want to go to the effort of drawing a picture. Or smiling. Or making himself presentable or going to the gym. That stuff is hard.

An MRA just wants to grab a woman and rape her. But if he does? The full weight of the matriarchy (might, just might) come down on him. Then he’s in prison!

All an MRA asks for is no rights for others and all privileges for himself. Why is that a problem!

Fred_the_Dog
Fred_the_Dog
6 years ago

AnAndrejapegicblog (hope I spelled that right!)…yes, that’s the time you least want your parents to change! My parents were also low affection Lutherans (though not Minnesotan). I must have been a changeling, though, I loved affection and hugging..

Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
6 years ago

Wow. I’d never even heard of the thing about taking the woman’s restaurant order first, or serving her first. Even if it happened to him, we’re talking about a matter of moments here – kind of petty score-keeping compared to expecting someone to have sex whether she wants to or not!

As for being “designated driver,” a lot of men I know will insist on driving; I think it’s a control thing. I’ve never met one who considered it burdensome, but if Adams does, why not just tell his date he’d rather she drives?

I don’t know a single woman who’d consider it a deal-breaker if a guy didn’t hold the door for her. And if she really wants to marry you, dude, she isn’t going to care if you got down on one knee.

I read one of Adams’s early books, in which he mentioned a girlfriend named Pam, but I’m starting to think she was imaginary. Because Adams sounds like he hasn’t actually met any women.

JOdy
JOdy
6 years ago

Boy, that comments section is sure something to look at. From a distance. While wearing protective gear.

Arthur Meyer
6 years ago

But what if the guy just doesn’t care about sex in the first place! What if the guy actually wants to be friends and socialize with women because they have a lot of things in common? What if they guy is fine with making sure the woman is happy?

Is that a force of this supposedly strange matriarchy?! Am I doing it all wrong?!

jodiethalegend
6 years ago

My first response to the headline was ‘yes, men do have to get permission for sex, but women have to get permission to do just about anything so… hm..’

And then I thought ‘no dude, men are supposed to get CONSENT, which must be freely given under the understanding that it can be safely revoked or reviewed at any time, so you’re wrong there too’.

I honestly believe that 95% of people are willfully ignorant when it comes to consent.

epitome of incomprehensibility

THAT Scott Adams?? Grrr. Yesterday I laughed at a line in a Dilbert cartoon – a guy introduces himself, saying, “Hi. I’m Dick, from the Internet.” Too bad that Adams was describing himself.

Mike
Mike
6 years ago

Most of these quotes were taken out of context. He was taking those snippets and comparing them to a broader context of Isis controlled territories which he claims are male sexually dominated, and even says it’s not a good scenario. I know it provided good sound bites for your “look at me look at me” scenario, but the post wasn’t even about you. He was talking about the mindset Isis uses to manipulate young men to join their causes.

newbie
newbie
6 years ago

Completely OT (apologies!), but you should see this heartwarming story of a little boy confronting a vulgar cat caller:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3328771/Thank-mothers-fathers-raising-generation-brave-courageous-Little-boy-bravely-defends-jogger-against-man-catcalling-her.html

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
6 years ago

Men like hugging better than they like killing. But if you take away my access to hugging, I will probably start killing, just to feel something.

Mm, yeah, okay, Lotso Huggin’. I’m sure you’re very cuddly, with all those conditional thoughts of murder floating around just below the surface.

I got off the Dilbert train around the time he started putting out that godawful newsletter, and I realized he was actually serious about Dogbert’s New Ruling Class. He’s never done women well – they’re either shrieking harpies or bitter, jaded frumps. All the air goes out of the strip whenever it strays outside the cubicle and sends Dilbert out on awkward, doomed dates. Apparently he can’t conceive of any possibility of romantic connection outside of the standard transactional blind date.

Honestly, I never cared much for his drawing style either. Some cartoonists can turn lack of polish into a virtue – Roz Chast, for example, can draw a floor lamp and make it look hilarious, and Lynda Barry’s strips are amazingly, gut-wrenchingly expressive – but Scott Adams always comes across to me as too contemptuous of his characters to draw them properly. They all look like they’re wearing wigs and have rubber limbs. It’s like he just draws vignettes from inside his own head and doesn’t take the time to deeply observe how other people really move and talk and think.

But for full context, I interrupt anyone who talks too long without adding enough value.

Why does Scott Adams get to decide on behalf of the group what “adding value” means?

epitome of incomprehensibility

Some cartoonists can turn lack of polish into a virtue – Roz Chast, for example, can draw a floor lamp and make it look hilarious, and Lynda Barry’s strips are amazingly, gut-wrenchingly expressive – but Scott Adams always comes across to me as too contemptuous of his characters to draw them properly. They all look like they’re wearing wigs and have rubber limbs.

@Buttercup Q. Skullpants – I’m no art expert, but I agree. If we’re talking about mainstream comics, I much prefer Darby Conley’s characters in “Get Fuzzy.” The cats and dogs (and human) are more grotesque than cute, but dammit, they look like they have personality. Kate Beaton’s “Hark, a Vagrant!” also has sort of a “messy” style, but again – vivid, not cookie-cutter.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
6 years ago

@AJ Milne

Regarding Pastis and “Pearls Before Swine,” don’t sweat it. Even if Adams finds his work funny, the fact that Bill Watterson would come out of hiding to collaborate with him immunizes Pastis and his work from an infinite number of Adams endorsements.

dhag85
6 years ago

@Buttercup Q. Skullpants

Did I ever tell you you’re my favorite commenter? :p

Orion
Orion
6 years ago

When my ex girlfriend and I had been together for about 6 years, we started doing the formal dates with the holding doors and pulling out chairs. I even ordered for both of us, because she thought it was hot and because with her anxiety it was a genuine mitzvah. I also paid the check, every time … with a credit card that she paid off at the end of the month, because she had money and I didn’t.

It was fun times, though often weird and stilted.

I don’t think I could recommend it as a way to meet new people.

Orion
Orion
6 years ago

Even though we’re not inviting Scott Adams to Katie’s party, can we still invite the Free Hugs guy? I think we should invite the Free Hugs guy. I’m going to invite the Free Hugs guy. I really want to … hug him. Yes. That is my story. I am sticking to it.

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