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#gamergate antifeminism entitled babies gender policing mansplaining matriarchy men who should not ever be with men ever men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny patriarchy that's not funny!

Enjoy These Delicious Patriarchy Sandwiches, With All the Fixins

All the ingredients for a delicious sandwich, rich in fiber and carefully formulated to help you reduce hairballs
All the ingredients for a delicious sandwich, rich in fiber and formulated to help reduce hairballs

On Saturday, esteemed Breitbart “journalist” and Gamergate panderer Milo Yiannopoulos took aim at the matriarchy in which we all apparently live by inventing a new fake holiday (and Twitter hashtag) he called #WorldPatriarchyDay.

In a labored, gratingly unfunny Breitbart post announcing the new fake holiday, he explained that

World Patriarchy Day is the day on which you should feel free to express your masculinity in the most odiously toxic manner imaginable.

He encouraged his male readers to (among other things):

  • Cat-call at least five women.
  • Leave the seat up. 
  • “This isn’t going to suck itself.”
  • Commit #CyberViolence.
  • Find a successful female scientist and explain basic algebra to her slowly and carefully.

And, for those men in his audience who’ve somehow convinced some poor woman to live with them, he suggested that they

leave a sandwich knife, a spread, and a loaf of bread in plain sight in the kitchen. Let her work the rest out.

He rehashed this last joke in a Tweet:

https://twitter.com/Nero/status/655541017580556288

But the photo of his unmade sandwich left a number of Twitterers a bit puzzled. Why did his “sandwich knife” have a handle like a toothbrush? Was that really bread? Were the things at the bottom of the photo his feet? What the hell kind of sandwich was he making, anyway!?

One Twitterer did the best he could to label all Milo’s sandwich fixins.

https://twitter.com/theshrillest/status/655939206015946752

Soon others were posting their potential sandwich ingredients, awaiting only the arrival of a “bitch” to make them into actual sandwiches.

https://twitter.com/NyaKlondyke/status/655953981647245312

https://twitter.com/Voodoo_Ben/status/655955200121917440

https://twitter.com/OhHeyMare/status/655954473366482944

https://twitter.com/MatthewTimmons/status/655953429135687681

Joe Walsh, perhaps the most underappreciated sandwich fixin of all time.

Add your own! Extra points if your photo contains your feet.

I’ve posted a photo of my own potential sandwich above. I’ve been waiting about half an hour, but alas it remains unmade.

 

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sheehank
6 years ago

>tfw senpai didn’t notice your sandwich
https://twitter.com/sheehanmilesk/status/655971983302201344

AnAndrejaPejicBlog (@A_Pejic_Blog)

I’m guessing that most men living with a woman would know better than to leave a big old knife handy if they pull the sandwich ingredients stunt.

delphi_ote
delphi_ote
6 years ago

Gah, David! You clearly know NOTHING about women. They won’t make a sandwich for you unless you include your socked feet in the photograph. It’s against protocol.

Gabrielle Etcheverry
Gabrielle Etcheverry
6 years ago

This made me laugh so hard…

Alan Robertshaw
6 years ago

“They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Personally I’ve always preferred breadknife through ribcage”

~ Jenny Eclair

Bina
6 years ago

Pro tip for Milo Yeah-NOPE-oulos: World Patriarchy Day is EVERY day. And if you’re so keen on shit sandwiches, why not just fish your own turds out of the toilet and spread them on Wonder Bread yourself?

Mels
Mels
6 years ago

I did not expect to go from angry to cracking the hell up as fast as I did.

My first thought (before the beautiful, *beautiful* sandwich derail) is that Yiannopoulos is basically acknowledging the patriarchy and how it works here, even if he doesn’t admit it. He even refers to his suggestions as “odiously toxic.” And it doesn’t strike me as deliberately ironic usage, given the context. Amazing. By which I mean, fuck this guy.

AnAndrejaPejicBlog (@A_Pejic_Blog)

Milo is sort of a male version of Ann Coulter. It’s a good thing that Milo is gay so there’s no chance of them meeting, falling in love, and making troll babies.

mjennings
6 years ago

I’m dying here…Thanks for sharing this. Too sick in bed to get up to find the “ingredients” to show off for my mister’s/master’s sandwiches but am enjoying the hell out of these.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
6 years ago

http://i.imgur.com/YIPEbM9.jpg

Dee-licious.

(With bonus “Fuck you” to #GamerGate.)

Viscaria
Viscaria
6 years ago

I’m trying to understand what Yiannopoulos thinks the joke is. Is he saying that these common examples of sexism are just made up by feminists? Is he suggesting that women make a big deal out of nothing? (I’m pretty sure that’s what the #CyberViolence one is, but surely he doesn’t think demanding blow jobs is just nbd, ladies.) Or is this supposed to be funny because he thinks women really are only valuable for sex and food prep?

kupo
kupo
6 years ago

As a successful female scientist I’m half tempted to tweet at Milo slowly and carefully explaining advanced Calculus to him, but I can’t deal with the backlash that might get me from Gamegate, especially if they dig in and find out I used to work in video games.

occasional reader
occasional reader
6 years ago

Hello.

Erf, i guess it is too hard for foreigners like me to understand the supposed jokes/puns of this photography. So i am just going to give a try, but i think my mind is a bit too twisted…
Please feel free to censor.

So, err, first of all, nothing here look linked to sandwiches (except maybe the Sabra stuff ?).

Then, this strange bag with the cat on it, and the tool. It seems to me that the tool is some kind of (animal) hair remover ? With the cat picture on the side, is this a suggestion to remove the hair of the cat ? If, has the author of the photo seemed to have said, this photo is adressed to a woman, i am wondering if, you know, he is not actually suggesting this woman to remove the hair of, err, cat. But, no, that must be me, nobody can make such a twisted visual pun.

For the Metamucil and the Hummus thing (the Sabra stuff), they are rich in fibers, thus facilitating what you know (laxative effect), and thus cleaning the digestive system down to the bottom. I can not think, because once again, it is surely my perverted mind, that he may suggest the woman to clean, err, well, this part.

And i am sure that the disconnected audio cables are not an indication that the man putting such a rebus is not going to listen to what is going to say the woman when he will come to check if she has done what he jockingly asking her, then when he will reap the fruit of his joke without asking consent because of, you know, entitlement.

Damn, have i such a devious logic ? It can not be that ! Is it not too complex for someone like him ? Can someone invoke Orcam’s razor for me ? Please ?

Have… Well, try to have a nice day.

Terrabeau
Terrabeau
6 years ago

@Viscaria I’m going to go for your first two suggestions. Milo, like most other #Gators, likes to pretend that sexism doesn’t really exist and any accusations of misogyny are the result of a bunch of hairy feminists’ periods syncing up. So really, he thinks he’s being cleverly subversive by encouraging his followers to be ‘ironically’ sexist.

Let no-one accuse them of being immature assholes.

David Rutten
David Rutten
6 years ago

I’m not on Twitter so I’ll have to do it directly here.

Also for the record, I make a wicked sandwich:
– Home baked bread (too much trouble to walk to town, plus it’s never as good)
– Mayonaisse (homemade or not, whatever’s in the house)
– Tirolean Ham
– Thin slices of cucumber (from the garden depending on season)
– Small gherkins
– Cashew nuts
– Grana Padano cheese
– Iceberg lettuce
– Freshly ground pepper
– Cheddar or Appenzeller
– Thin slices of red onion
– Losso Rollo lettuce
– Crisply fried bacon (Bauchspeck)

My girlfriend likes hers with balsamic glaze, I prefer without.
Suck on that Milo!

David Rutten
David Rutten
6 years ago

Right, so my html img tag got lost…
comment image

Moggie
Moggie
6 years ago

The spare foot at the bottom of the cat one was a nice touch.

idledillettante
6 years ago

Ok Milo I will make you a sandwich. But you can’t ask what’s in it, and you have to eat every bit of it.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
6 years ago

So he got out all the sandwich ingredients, and instead of…just making a sandwich….he arranged them just so, got out the cell phone, snapped a photo, uploaded to Twitter, added a snarky comment, and hit “Post”.

That’s a lot of effort, without even getting a sandwich out of it. I guess it’s more important to accumulate imaginary Patriarchy Points than learn the basics of feeding yourself.

Part of me hopes his followers take his advice and leave the sandwich spread out on the counter, where it sits for hours and hours and hours in 90 degree heat until their wives/girlfriends finally decide it’s incubated long enough and use it to make a Petri Dish special.

Terrabeau
Terrabeau
6 years ago

@David Rutten That sounds like a really nice sandwich, thanks for the tip!

Bina
6 years ago

@David Rutten, you can bring the sammies to our potluck feminist picnic. They’ll go great with my Eenie-Meenie-Chili-Beany Pasta Salad!

ronanwills
6 years ago

Now, I’m not an acclaimed Breitbart journalist, but I don’t think people usually make sandwiches with ceramic cooking knives. That doesn’t seem like it would turn out well.

“leave a sandwich knife, a spread, and a loaf of bread in plain sight in the kitchen. Let her work the rest out.”

I hope a bunch of dudes do this and their girlfriends instantly break up with them.

Bina
6 years ago

“leave a sandwich knife, a spread, and a loaf of bread in plain sight in the kitchen. Let her work the rest out.”

I hope a bunch of dudes do this and their girlfriends instantly break up with them.

I’ve never made a boyfriend a sandwich. A nice satisfying cooked meal, yes, but never a sandwich. And the ingrates always dumped ME in the end.

And if one of them had done this to me, I’d have put the fixings neatly away, no sandwich forthcoming, then left in stony silence and never seen the bastard again.

JUST SAYIN’.

C.S.Strowbridge
C.S.Strowbridge
6 years ago

Okay, maybe I have issues, but marshmallows and a hamburger bun would make an awesome sandwich. Toast that and shove it in my mouth.

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