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I Don’t Care if You Donated $10,000. F**k You: Jordan Owen graciously replies to critics of The Sarkeesian Effect trailer

Jordan Owen, interviewing his shoe
Jordan Owen, interviewing his shoe

Alleged filmmaker/bipedal mammal Jordan Owen has a few choice words for critics of the new trailer for The Sarkeesian Effect, the allegedly finished documentary he and white nationalist (on paper) Davis Aurini have been spending other people’s money on for the past who the hell knows how many months.

Wait, did I say “a few choice words?” I meant this gif:

 

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Stung by criticism of the trailer’s jarringly inept musical score, which he “composed” and “performed,” Owen posted a thoughtful response on TwitLonger today.

Fuck you.

Yes, you read that right. Fuck you.

The trailer has been getting a lot of great response and we really, really appreciate that- but if you have a problem with any aspect of the production, fuck you.

I don’t care if you donated $10,000.

I don’t care if you donated $10,000,000.

I don’t care if you donated BONE MARROW.

Fuck you.

As Owen sees it, the music is utterly perfect as is. It’s not the result of dropping a couple of kittens on some old Casio keyboards. It sounds the way it does ON PURPOSE.

Because I write that music and I’m proud of it. It sounds EXACTLY like what I want to get accross, which is why I wrote it that way.

As for one critic who suggested that maybe Owen should just grab some reasonably competent royalty free music off the internet and use that instead, because, holy crap, even that would be better than what’s on there now, Owen respectfully disagrees with this assessment.

Well listen Bobby, I know you think your heart’s in the right place, but the human heart is located in the chest cavity to the left of the esophagus. Not up your ass.

You send me a link to a bunch of shitty 2 chord guitar vamps and dubstep loops and think I’m going to write back and say “Gee willakers Bobby! That’s some great stuff right there! I sure am glad I listened to your opinion instead of thinking I knew what in the fuck I was doing!”

The music I wrote for The Sarkeesian Effect sounds fucking amazing- you know how I know? Because I like the way it sounds.

Sure, Owen admits, to undiscerning ears the music might sound a tad dated, but guess what: he meant to do that.

I keep getting these people writing in and telling me “This looks great, but the music sounds like it was done on a Casio keyboard from the 80’s.” Well there’s two reasons for that:

1. We’re doing a movie about video games, broadly speaking. Didn’t you ever stop to think that maybe it was supposed to sound like that?

2. I sent Davis a remixed, remastered version of the music with more realistic string sounds, realistic bass guitar sounds, and realistic drum sounds. He wouldn’t put it in. I have no idea why. Ask him.

Yes, that’s right: the music sounds perfect as it is, but it is Davis Aurini’s fault that it sounds like ancient Casio crap because he used the ancient Casio crap version.

And for those who have wondered out loud how someone who was actually trained at the Berklee College of Music could possibly produce something like that, Owen has a response to this as well:

JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE IT IN YOUR HEAD WHAT KIND OF MUSIC A BERKLEE GRAD OUGHT TO WRITE DOESN’T MEAN WE FEEL IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM OBLIGATED TO ACCOMMODATE YOU!

And I wrote that preceding paragraph in all caps because I was trying to create the effect of screaming at the top of my fucking lungs. Are you really so goddamn arrogant that you think in your infinitely pedestrian opinion that you know what sort of music Berklee grads ought to be writing?

To be fair, I’m pretty sure that there are a lot of other Berklee grads out there making truly horrible music.

Owens’ little essays ends much as it began, with a giant “fuck you.”

So rest assured the music is going to be written by me and its going to sound exactly like it should sound. Tough shit if you don’t like that- no please go take your good intentions and pave somebody else’s road to hell.

Meanwhile, on YouTube, Owen has been similarly responsive to his critics. And by his critics, I mean Davis Aurini, his erstwhile film buddy:

sandflapjack 1 day ago  Oh my god the editing is just fucking atrocious. Feministfrequency has better transitions. Like really? Was that a fucking windows moviemaker pixel transition? for fucks sake.  Reply  · 2  Hide replies    Davis M.J. Aurini 1 day ago  +sandflapjack Jordan, you really gotta ban these shit-birds from your channel.  They're too cowardly to post on mine; they pick on you because you're a nice guy.  This idiot wouldn't know editing if it bit him in the ass.  Reply  ·    jordanowen42 20 hours ago  +Davis M.J. Aurini We open in six weeks- stop telling me how to run my channel and get back to work.

My only question is what exactly they will be opening in six weeks. Birthday presents? An Arbee’s franchise? Their mouths?

Whatever it is, I’m looking forward to it.

H/T — r/GamerGhazi

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Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
6 years ago
kirbywarp
kirbywarp
6 years ago

Given that the duo’s patreon says that the average doner gave on the order of 25$ per month, and that the highest donations were 250$ per month, Jordan is stretching it a bit to talk about 10,000$ donors. Either that or there was a very generous one-time donation.

As for his two-point justifications… “I did it on purpose, but it’s Davis’s fault that we didn’t use a better version.” Yeah, I’m convinced.

Perhaps they could afford to be less offensive if they didn’t make such loft promises at the beginning. They’re at a point where it’s too late to change anything, but to admit that they didn’t live up to their promises would men owning up to the same sins they accuse Anita of. So really, what else could they do but cuss out their supporters and detractors alike, stubbornly insisting they’ve spun shit into gold?

makingfitzcarraldo
makingfitzcarraldo
6 years ago

I’m curious what Aurini did to Owen?

I hope they start considering not watching the not real movie, as well as thinking about never thinking about donating again.

spinello
spinello
6 years ago

OK, I’m going to have to go and listen to the music now.

Yep, that music is terrible.

I guess that when you are a ‘gator, you are so used to being on the attack, that actually listening to critism and responding sensibly (i.e. not throwing all the toys out of your pram) is something you’re out of the habit of.

PussyPowerTantrum, the Lousy Flouncer
PussyPowerTantrum, the Lousy Flouncer
6 years ago

@bvh

anyone who is so socially limited as to think the MRA subculture is a viable, healthy and balanced option has this cognitive defect. The effect is the same: rigid thinking, underdeveloped coping and problem solving skills and a search for simple answers out of frustration. And explosive rage at the slightest criticism.

I think toxic masculinity feeds into it, too: Anything other than fawning compliments is a direct threat to one’s being because one has to be perfect and invulnerable at all times, and criticism is a threat to that. That’s what neo-misogyny is all about, promoting toxic masculinity while purporting to help the men who were hurt by it.

Tl;dr…. just reach for the popcorn and enjoy the show.

I can’t wait for the MRAsterpiece Theater people to get their hands on this material. XD

PussyPowerTantrum, the Lousy Flouncer
PussyPowerTantrum, the Lousy Flouncer
6 years ago

I’m curious what Aurini did to Owen?

Gaslighted him and compared him to Elliot Rogers for having a decent-person moment and objecting to Roosh V. People, including those in our community, were concerned that Owen was willing to work with Aurini again after all that.

spacelawn
6 years ago

That music reminds me of this (not as good of course)

It’s a homage to Resident Evil guys, don’t be so mean :'( /s

spacelawn
6 years ago

Well shite, i’ve posted the entire playlist and not the video, here it is.

brooked
brooked
6 years ago

My only question is what exactly they will be opening in six weeks. Birthday presents? An Arbee’s franchise? Their mouths?

“Let’s put on show in the barn!”

https://youtu.be/SRZ5400UKSc

(Note: Sadly, Mickey Rooney never actually says that in this Babes in Arms clip.)

Tina S
Tina S
6 years ago

Well, that’s unprofessional.

Tina S
Tina S
6 years ago

Moggie, don’t waste good Lush bathbombs on this guy. The drugstore has soothing bath crystals that will work just fine. Or maybe just plain old Epsom Salts.

Tina S
Tina S
6 years ago

Omg, i just noticed the sock and tennis shoe!!

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
6 years ago

There will be never enough popcorn on earth to eat during the internet kerfuffle that will follow Captain bath tube’s rant.

Unfortunately, I overlooked the investment opportunity presented by popcorn company shares back when this inevitable catastrophe began. I presume those with more foresight got into them then and have now put the price of such first-class paper out of reach of ordinary mortals.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
6 years ago

Documentaries are a form of journalism. Does this mean that this is technically a matter of ethics in journalism?

Enquiring minds want to know.

Yours sincerely,
EJ
Eukaryote

Misha
6 years ago

Tina S, I know right? At the risk of appearance shaming:

Owen, if you’re not going to change your footwear accordingly when shooting a ‘professional documentary’, AT LEAST PULL UP YOUR SOCKS.

Troy Brooks
6 years ago

If they are “opening in six weeks” it might be a good idea to put something, literally anything, on their website. Just checked, and they haven’t put this “trailer” up on the site yet. They did post it to the “documentary” Facebook page, but apparently can’t figure out how to imbed a video on a webpage.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
6 years ago

It’s possible to be a Berklee grad and write music that is listenable and doesn’t grate on your ears. The trailer music sounds like something Spinal Tap would have released in the eighties. Or the theme from “Broadcast News”.

I suppose it’s possible he was aiming for “cheesy, slapdash contempt for the audience”. If so, he nailed it.

Naomi Harvey
6 years ago

Dammit! I have spent the last two years working on my writing skills to try and build some sort of minor fan base for my stories and now I find i could have just told any criticisers to F off? I could have just claimed to be writing terribly on purpose? That would have been MUCH easier!

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
6 years ago

@Buttercup Q. Skullpants:
You mean you don’t have contempt for his audience?

@Naomi Harvey:
It worked for Tara Gilesbie.

Leisha Young
Leisha Young
6 years ago

“Well listen Bobby, I know you think your heart’s in the right place, but the human heart is located in the chest cavity to the left of the esophagus. Not up your ass.”

Oh the irony. Do these guys have ANY concept of how hypocritical they are?

Who are these people? Honestly…who are these people?

maghavan
maghavan
6 years ago

I know it’s a trailer …. but why are they in every interview shot? It’s almost as if they are the true subject of this documentary 🙂

FifthInterval
6 years ago

Man, “asshole” really is the default setting for these guys, no matter what the circumstances.

Mwa
Mwa
6 years ago

Has anyone else noticed that the poster for the movie features a tagline that Owen uses quite frequently: “There’s two sides to every story.” Not once, in all of the times they have used that phrase, either spoken or written-out, have either they or anyone else noticed that there is a number disagreement.
This seems on par with the “rough” footage, the music, the dumb questions, the poor editing choices, and so on that others have been pointing out all along. They seem to have a blind faith that what they do is good enough without working on it.
Or, I may just be infinitely pedestrian in not realizing that they did that because that’s how they fucking want it to be.

scribbles
scribbles
6 years ago

I really don’t understand what was going through their heads. So they go through all of this shit about Anita being harassed and needing armed guards and then it cuts to SHE CAN’T BE CRITICIZED. Like, wait, what? Suddenly threatening to murder/rape someone is criticism? What? When I first saw this I didn’t realize it wasn’t satire. I was laughing my ass off, then I recognized Aurini and was like ohhh shit, it’s another Love in the Time of Carpel Tunnel or whatever.

What gets me is that they expect everyone to grow a thicker skin but if you so much as *nudge* them they flip the fuck out and throw a hissy fit. If anyone is an SJW it’s them. They take SJW to mean shrill, uninformed keyboard warriors who don’t do anything for actual justice, right? MRAs are the epitome of this.

Tina S
Tina S
6 years ago

Misha

I don’t think we are appearance shaming so much as expecting professionalism. It looks like he rolled out of bed late and grabbed whatever was appropriate for the heavy metal concert he’s attending this evening and he’s got lawn tickets. Would khakis and a polo shirt have killed him? Classic business shoes and yes business socks pulled up? How seriously will this documentary be taken. Maybe film schools can use it as a teaching tool in how not to make a documentary.

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