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Charles Manson, dating coach?

Charles Manson, Alpha Male of the Cell block?
Charles Manson, Alpha Male of the Cell block?

So the Associated Press is reporting that Charles Manson, everyone’s favorite orchestrator of mass murder, is planning to marry. His future bride is a 26-year-old groupie who’s been trying to convince the world for nine years that Charlie is innocent.

According to one self-proclaimed dating expert and regular contributor to Return of Kings, the fact that “the 80-year-old murderer is marrying a hotter girl than [nice guys will] ever get,” is proof that guys need to start channelling their own inner Charles Manson in order to become the “bad boy” that women really go for.

As “Trouble Maker” puts it,

This woman is just an extreme case, but her actions in this case largely represent the way woman act as a whole. There is just no resisting the panty moistening allure of the bad boy for them. …

She’s definitely cute, at least in these pictures being spread around by the media. …

Meanwhile, the stable computer programmer is left running macros on POF [Plenty of Fish] in hopes that he catches a whale.

I actually sort of hope that would-be pickup artists start tattooing swastikas on their foreheads. It would make them a lot easier to identify at a glance.

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Falconer
Falconer
7 years ago

That Roissy sumbitch picked this up and even wrote some Dr Suess-y poem about it. That I didn’t entirely read, just scanned over. “Women like jerks, some like them in bed, some like them dead”, whatever it was.

I bet he completely messed up the scansion and had to stretch the rhymes.

FYI, Dr. Seuss’s favorite meter seems to be anapest (and the LORax and ALL of his FRIENDS will come BACK), but watch out for the occasional iamb (do you LIKE green EGGS and HAM).

Dr. Seuss is easy to read and the language is simple, but don’t let that fool you into thinking it’s easy to write.

emilygoddess - MOD
emilygoddess - MOD
7 years ago

Ugh, poetry that doesn’t scan hits my cringe button like nothing else. I can even deal if the meter is all over the place, but those email for ward type poems where they routinely add or miss syllables for the sake of rhyme and read like they were dashed off on one ho? I can’t. They get read in church some times and I want to scream at the woman who keeps bringing them in…

emilygoddess - MOD
emilygoddess - MOD
7 years ago

That should read “dashed off in one GO”. Phone keypads will be the death of me.

Puddleglum
7 years ago

I just hope it doesn’t have scaled-up fleas.

According to the movie A Monster In Paris, they’re really not that bad.

Alais
7 years ago

@ceebarks and Kate Minter

The fact that she won’t be getting conjugal visits and knows that definitely contradicts the PUA narrative that women want Alphas because they’re only sexually attracted to Alpha bad boys and that women won’t have sex with betas unless they want something material in exchange because they’re not into betas. If the lack of conjugal visits doesn’t bother her, then one can’t really argue that she’s super turned on by mass murderers.

Honestly, based on the way their logic works, Charles Manson is the world’s biggest beta. He gets snookered by a beautiful, young woman, who at 26 might be hitting the wall depending on whose definition of “too old” we’re operating on, and she’s clearly using him for fame and for the opportunity to get access to materials that could let her write a best-selling biography of him once he’s dead. Also, he won’t be allowed conjugal visits, so she has a grade-A excuse to avoid sex with him until he dies, meaning that he’ll have a marriage that is actually, literally sexless. Then, because she won’t be living with him, she’ll be able to whatever she wants without having any Alpha to order her around in the PUA way, so she’ll essentially get all the benefits of this marriage without having to anything that PUAs assume that wives are naturally opposed to doing for their husbands, unless those husbands happen to be super Alpha.

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