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Heartiste hails great leap forward in sexbot technology. Bonus: anatomically improbable kissing and boob simulators!

Oriental Industries' new "Dutch Wife" sex dolls: Cannot be distinguished from real women (if you've never seen a real woman).
Oriental Industry’s new “Dutch Wife” sex dolls: Cannot be distinguished from real women (if you’ve never seen a real woman).

 

Over on Chateau Heartiste, everyone’s favorite racist pickup artist gasbag Heartiste excitedly reports on the a giant leap forward in the ongoing “Sexbot Revolution” – a Japanese company has a new lifesize sex doll that looks slightly less creepy than the creepy sex dolls now on the market.

Heartiste quotes a Daily Mail article on the dramatic new development, because where else would you turn for important news in science and technology other than the Daily Mail?

Orient Industry say their new range of dolls, made from high quality silicon, are so realistic there is very little to distinguish them from a real girlfriend at first glance. …

[A]dverts in the media boast that anyone who buys one will never want a real girlfriend again.

Thoughts in my head respond that the potential girlfriends of the world will not be heartbroken at the news that dudes who can’t tell the difference between a giant rubber doll and a real woman will be leaving the dating market.

Heartiste, however, is delighted, writing:

The dolls come with a “skeleton”, which means they can be arranged into any position. Any position.

I’m pretty sure you can already do that with Stretch Armstrong, at a fraction of the price.

The coming sexbot revolution — and make no mistake, it is coming — will have profound ramifications on social order and the functioning of the sexual market. To this day, people underestimate the effect the Pill had on Western society; multiply that effect by a thousand and you’ll get an idea of the subversive havoc mass consumable sexbots will wreak.

Of course, these new sex dolls aren’t, strictly speaking, sexbots. They’re inert human-sized, human-shaped sex toys that probably weigh more than me.

If you want to experience true interactive setbottery, you need to go virtual.

The video below shows just how advanced modern kissing simulators have become. Indeed, one would be hard pressed to tell the difference between the software demonstrated in this video and actual real world kissing.

The video below that, meanwhile, offers a glimpse of what technology has achieved in the realm of breast simulation, though sadly the current technology only supports one breast at a time.  But make no mistake, the frighteningly wiggly and anatomically, er, improbable simulated boob revolution is coming! NSFW, obviously. And even weirder than the kissing video, if you can believe it.

Kissing:

Boobs:

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Skye
Skye
8 years ago

I can see the appeal of these to a certain kind of misogynist. Like blahlistic’s last comment notes, a lot of PUA sorts see women as interchangeable sex toys already. These dolls would be a step up from real women for those men because the dolls have no thoughts, feelings, wants, needs or any other inconveniently human characteristics. For men who only want to hurt or scare women, the dolls wouldn’t work, but for men who want a blank slate they can project any personality on, the lack of intelligence and personhood would be features rather than bugs.

And I’ve sort of grossed myself out now.

yazikus
yazikus
8 years ago

So, on the skeleton thing. I would think that a skeleton would limit the amount of positions that it could assume, that it would be restrained by the skeleton itself, and if you tried to contort it into something that the skeleton would not allow, you would break a ‘bone’, right? With no skeleton, you could bend it into a pretzel. So, why is that a selling point, what am I missing?

Also, I am officially squicked.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

@ yazikus…I guess right now they come with a rigid internal frame of sorts that only allows for limited positioning?
It’s not going to be able to totally flex, though, unless the body is seamed as well.

pallygirl
pallygirl
8 years ago

If they want scope for the sexbot to be able to do more than just stay in one position, it will need either an internal skeleton or some type of exoskeleton so that the bot can locked into alternative positions. Without some sort of lockable and rigidity-contributing system, the bot will always reassume its original orientation position.

pallygirl
pallygirl
8 years ago

Also: it will likely need to be heavy enough to provide some counterweight effects.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
8 years ago

Just to ruin everyone’s day and all, I have to point out that child sex dolls are actually a thing that exists (only in Japan so far as far as I know). They look pretty much like the dolls in the picture above, except that they appear to be about 7 or 8 years old and are the size you’d expect a kid that age to be.

Normally I’d offer brain bleach but no amount of cute cat videos are going to make this factoid less horrifying.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
8 years ago

CassandraKitty
…wow…just yeah I’m not actually surprised…I’m going to leave this here
http://youtu.be/uSvJaYxRoB4

Michael Lindsay
8 years ago

This is probably how Skynet will start, when an enraged AI-sexbot hurls Heartiste out of one of his chateau’s windows!

pallygirl
pallygirl
8 years ago

One small hurl for Heartiste, one giant hurl for mankind.

strivingally
8 years ago

I think this thread needs more cute baby animals. Here, have a baby platypus drinking milk.

Fibinachi
8 years ago

Thanks for the birthday wishes, everyone. Really appreciate it 🙂

AL3H
AL3H
8 years ago

Really really belated birthday wishes. 🙂 I hope you had fun.

Bina
8 years ago

The coming sexbot revolution — and make no mistake, it is coming — will have profound ramifications on social order and the functioning of the sexual market. To this day, people underestimate the effect the Pill had on Western society; multiply that effect by a thousand and you’ll get an idea of the subversive havoc mass consumable sexbots will wreak.

Um, dude…ever see The Stepford Wives? Oh, what am I saying…that’s probably Weedy’s wet dream.

In any case, I for one will NOT miss the exodus of the assholes from the dating “market”. Leaves more of us for the decent ones, and vice versa.

PS: Happy belated to Fibi!

Fibinachi
8 years ago

AL3H:

Sure did. I spent the day re-learning calculus and managed to teach myself how to parse definite integrals, general integration and derivatives, a bag of tricks I never picked up when otherwise expected to.

it was a copacetic experience that then turned out to be borderline uses as the examination I had today only involved statistical analysis of samples.

@Bina

Thanks!

The fun thing about the sexbot stuff is that, erh, there’s some interesting internet pages dedicated to something like that. I think maybe if someone e-mailed this to Heartiste, he’d just quietly spend his time reading that and chortling against women. Forever.

Felisha
Felisha
8 years ago

People can tell they are dolls because their toes haven’t being foot binded.

pallygirl
pallygirl
8 years ago

Wut?

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

I’ve read that sentence multiple times, and it’s refusing to make sense.

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

Can it be we have the new ExploreNature? With bonus racism and inability to differentiate between Chinese and Japanese cultures?

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
8 years ago

I thought Felisha was a jackass who flounced a while back, but it must have been a similar name; this one doesn’t have any IP history showing. Plus that one tended to wall-o-text garbage instead of racist one-liners.

Lee
Lee
8 years ago

I love how MRAs are putting all this thought and care into creating the perfect faux-woman, when they can get a body pillow at the megamart for a few bucks if all they want is just a lump they can snuggle/hump/punch. 😛 It would be so silly if it wasn’t so creepy.

Scott Saylor (@Squirrelmecha)

I think wait for Nexus 6 version

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