I had an interesting conversation recently with a woman on Twitter who told me that my policy of letting MRAs and misogynists comment here, at least so long as they’re not abusive, was keeping her and others she knew from joining in the conversation; she wanted a place to discuss MRAs where she didn’t have to deal with them.
I know a lot of the regulars here like engaging with the trolls and MRAs who stop by, but I’d like to create some space here for commenters who want to discuss the issues in a Troll- and MRA-free zone.
So I thought I’d try starting a new kind of Open Thread: A No-Troll, No-MRA, No-Misogynist, No-Rape-Apologist, No-Douchebag Thread to discuss the issues I cover on the blog and anything related to that: Misogyny, MRAs, PUAs, MGTOW, the “Red Pill,” and so on. Enjoy!
Oh, and if a troll wanders in, or if someone starts being douchey, ignore them and send me a note. I’ll delete their comments and ban them. No warning, no moderation, straight ban.
I’m that woman you conversed with. And thank you, David 🙂 Been struggling with some hateful males over the last week so it’s wonderful when a guy actually listens! Plus my background stress level since the Rodger killings has gone way up, so anything that gives me/us a break is also wonderful.
I like that idea, pinkfluffyunicrone!
I don’t keep up with the latest online trends, but imo, “spinster” beats “old maid” any day of the week. That’s the epithet I grew up with. Thankfully people don’t use that one anymore!
When I have more time, I have decided I shall learn to spin. And then I shall correct anyone who refers to me as a spinSTER to say, no it’s pronounced SPINster. I’m also wanting to learn Irish crochet and tatting. Tatting looks really hard to master (as does spinning).
I would love to learn to spin my own yarn, as I knit and crochet. I admire anyone that can do that craft.
And this is so cool, ignore that it’s from “Lamebook” as this is not in the slightest bit lame:
http://www.lamebook.com/brightened-my-day/
Pallygirl
Just read the comments and on the few my face and was thinking:
http://www.captionite.com/view/23916/
tatting isn’t terribly hard, if you start with needle tatting. The hard part about shuttle tatting is the ‘flip’ and I have a hard time controlling tension that. Go visit ravelry, there are tons of folks there willing to give advice!
@auggziliary – people think that all the time!
Also, that video is terrifying #notallcatpeoplearelikethat
@auggz
:: adds video to list of things i should never watch while on acid ::
@fruitloopsie: I figured the comment section was going to be bad and so made the decision not to read it. I think the photo and FB comment are just great.
@me and not you: oh gosh, I didn’t realise there was more than one type – I’m way below noob status. Thanks for the tip about Ravelry, I’m already on there because I knit and crochet, and hadn’t realised that tatting was also included. 🙂
@auggz: what environment did they create that in? I can’t work out the engine and there’s no information in the video blurb area.
@pallygirl – we’re a bit rogue there because (last time I checked) we weren’t included with other fiber arts. Sometimes our projects get taken down for not being knit/crochet 🙁 But there are a number of tatting communities on the boards.
@me and not you: ooooo, a rogue group. Sounds like fun. I’ll check it out, but have 3 crochet projects and 1 knitting project on the go that I. Must. Finish. First.
Just found this site: http://games.usvsth3m.com/the-theme-tune-of-your-life/
Mine is Kenny Roger’s Lady. Noooooooooooooooooooooooo. I think that maybe it should be what was on the NZ #1 chart. I shall investigate to see what my culturally-specific life tune is….I shall report back.
I had the joy of overhearing loud discussion of MRA talking points in Comp Sci today. Irritating 13:1 gender ratio. There’s lots of girls in high-level math, why aren’t any of them in Comp Sci with me? This time it was about child support, because that is definitely a problem that high school students face. I’ve overheard stuff about feminists being crazy before. It’s so ridiculous to think that our school should actually enforce the dress code for boys, right? And it’s just silly to actually care that our school does no assemblies about sexual harassment and assault and not being a bystander, yes?
Yes, did not translate cross-culturally. For me, it’s actually Shaddup You Face (which kittehserf should remember too!)
Oh dear, Vertical Horizon.
pallygirl Spinning isn’t that hard. This is not to say it’s not frustrating, nor that it isn’t full of subtleties and quirks. A couple of us here spin, and would be more than willing to help you figure things out.
I could go on for pages/hours about it; both spindles and wheels. Charkhas and supported spindles, flyer vs. bobbin drive, wools vs. plant vs. other fibers. Plying and cabling and worsted vs. woolen and…..
Oh thank you for reminding me of that, not! 😛
If you want to be really fun about it, feature an older DJ like DJ Ruth Flowers:
or DJ Wika (turn on closed captioning, it’s in Polish):
Don’t forget, all you fibre-craft type people, we have a WHTM group on Ravelry – Crafty SPINSTERS.
http://www.ravelry.com/groups/crafty-spinsters
@Lex-Man
In my personal life, harassment is a very rare/once in a blue moon occurrence. Maybe once every 6 months or so? Even then, I’ve never been in a situation where I was afraid or felt truly threatened. Usually it’s a guy (though twice it has been a woman) who feels they should have the right to touch my shoulder/waist/hand when they’re trying to flirt with me. I have a not insignificant touch phobia though, so it freaks me out more than it might someone who doesn’t. It’s easy to walk away from this, at least for me.
For other women, it may not be, and this needs to be taken into consideration. I’ve found that many women think they still have to smile or be polite to someone who is objectifying/harassing them, but I have no qualms in calmly but sternly letting the jerkface know that their words/actions aren’t something I want. I also don’t do any drugs, am not a fan of drinking, and don’t tend to frequent places with crowds, so that also helps to limit (but doesn’t eliminate) the potential for harassment in environments where I’m not in full control.
However, I think it’s *incredibly* important to realize that my definition of harassment may be very different than someone else’s. I have an extremely laid back personality, and work in the gaming industry, and experience the awkward/nerdy/geeky male subculture every day. Something that I would laugh at or not mind could potentially be harassment to another woman.
It’s always a good idea to err on the side of caution, and if a woman (or man) says “hey, I find that harassing” or “I don’t appreciate that”, then it’s up to you to change. Even if I think that person is being a prude or lacks a sense of humor it is up to *me*, as someone who cares about other’s feelings, to alter my behavior so they are more comfortable.
Hope this helps answer your question.
Lex-man – have a look at the #YesAllWomen; it’s about harassment and worse.
@pecunium, my goal will be to start learning next calendar year. I think that is a realistic date given my current health and workload/study load.
Thanks for the offer of help, I hope I won’t wear it out by asking too many questions as no-one I know spins so I have nobody local I can bug. And I’m a bit leery of websites as some of them will be marketing their own products and their advice may not be completely unbiased.
Something for me to look forward to next year! 🙂
@Lex-Man
You might find this page of studies on sexual harassment helpful.
Pallygirl
@fruitloopsie: I figured the comment section was going to be bad and so made the decision not to read it. I think the photo and FB comment are just great.
It was! 🙂
I often enjoy the vigorous troll-smashing that goes on here. At one blog that I used to read a lot (but not so much anymore) the comment section was never very lively, but it was largely dominated by a couple genteel homophobes/sexists/racists/pro-gun types. So when I say genteel, they couch their nasty beliefs in reasonable tones and the blog runner never shoo’ed them away because they never used profanity or made overt personal attacks.
They were the type who would deny, for example, that calling that Seattle Seahawks football player a “thug” was racist because there was no “proof” that everyone who ever used the word “thug” had racist intentions. And then if you argue that “thug” is used in reference to black people more than white people they would argue back that while that may be the case, clearly “thug” is sometimes used towards white people as well, therefore the only prudent thing to do is throw up your hands and declare that we’ll never know if racism really happened in this instance.
At least here we can mock, attack, and wish legos upon the types like that, no matter how “reasonable” their tone is.
However, it is also nice to have a space where we don’t have to worry about it at all. Yay!
Thanks for all the hilariousness regarding the word “spinster”- I’ve actually been a little bummed out by the word. It’s been years and I am still trying to undo the brainwashing the PUA (Pick up Abuser- I refuse to think of these dudes as artists) from hell did to me. I’m fighting with that little voice inside me that tells me I am worthless.