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Today in Imaginary Feminism: The Slap Circle of Misandry

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 Over on the Men’s Rights subreddit, the neverending struggle against imaginary feminists continues apace. Today, one brand-new Redditor, a self-described former feminist, won himself several dozen upvotes from the regulars by bringing them a literally unbelievable tale of his adventures with a coven of slap-happy feminists.

I stopped calling myself a feminist a few years ago when I went to a meeting and was told “men are inly allowed in this safe space if they participate in a slap circle.”

The idea was that it would be harder for me to intimidate with my six foot stature if all the women had a chance to slap me in the face. I left.

Another guy actually did it.

It’s all true. I WAS THAT GUY.

BUT WHO WAS PHONE?

Actually, no. If this dude’s story is true, I will literally eat my cats.

While most of the Men’s Rightsers commenting in the thread seem to have swallowed this story whole, “slap circles” aren’t actually a thing in feminism.

They are a thing, though, amongst bored and/or drunk young men (and sometimes women) around the world, as countless videos on YouTube can attest.

As as site called Hungry Teen explains, a “Slap Circle” is

A great way to bond with friends, release aggression and stimulate the face. The Slap Circle is a game made for the more hardcore, daring person and can be used as a test for finding the manliest of the group. Although adopting female fighting techniques, the slap circle appeals far more to men. Nothing is required for this game, other than a hand, a face and a set of balls.

All you do, is stand in a circle and slap the person to your right in the face, while waiting for a slap from the person on your left. If you’ve had enough, you step out of the circle and the last two standing fight it out for the winner.

I eagerly await stories in the Men’s Rights subreddit detailing Andrea Dworkin’s demand that all men and boys be forced to take the Cinnamon Challenge and all those insidious mandatory nut shot seminars being forced upon all college students unfortunate enough to be born with a pair of balls.

Thanks to Cloudiah for the heads up, and the good people of the AgainstMensRights subreddit for the Hungry Teen quote.

355 replies on “Today in Imaginary Feminism: The Slap Circle of Misandry”

I think the time has come for us to make up outlandish stories about the MRA, spread these stories all over the internet and confront every MRA about them whenver they show up somewhere so that they go nuts trying to debunk them. Like… a scientific study showed that self-proclaimed MRAs believe in the Easter Bunny well into their teens (Warren Farrell’s wife still puts on a bunny costume every Easter because telling her husband the truth about where chocolates come from would kill him). Or… there is a direct correlation between supporting men’s rights and excessive flatulence.

I’ve never heard of slap circles in feminism either, but if this is something that bored and/or drunk young men (and sometimes women) sometimes so, then it’s entirely possible that a drunk and bored group of women identifying as feminists asked him to do this. If be nervous if I were one of your cats right now.

What? No walking wethershin while drinking menstrual fluids and bowing down thrice before the Moon. Just a slap circle is not believable, maybe if it were whipping with nettles for an extended time after being bound in the wilderness or something like that

As long as we don’t have to do the skyclad dancing thing, it’s not warm enough yet, and also there’s poison oak.

Slap circle? They stand in a circle… and slap each other… for fun? Stimulate the face? Wut? These youths need more homework; they have too much time on their hands.

But seriously, that MR poster will be severely punished by the Feminist Secret Police for revealing the secrets of the inner sanctum of the slap circle. First rule about feminist slap circle: don’t talk about feminist slap circle.

Maybe a troll will read our cock scrunchie discussion in the other thread and tell all his fellow misogynists that feminists won’t let cis men hang out with us unless they agree to wear cock scrunchies.

And also the cock scrunchies are made of barbed wire and covered in bees, because misandry.

My husband would totally wear a cock scrunchy, he wants you to know.

But then, he also would cockjazzle, so you know, take it with a grain of salt.

(Also, my writeathon not only opens tomorrow, but hubby will be marching in the Pride parade with his church! He plans to wear pink and orange hot pants. It will be glorious.)

I like how someone actually commented, “The part about the slap circle is something straight out of a Portlandia skit.” and yet still did not come to the logical conclusion that there might be something at all fictitious about it…

A slap circle sounds like something the MRM would do, it’s right out of the Three Stooges.

Seriously, what doofuses. Every time some dumbass dudebro comes up with a stupid idea, they blame it on feminism. I’m sure they’ll blame the LA transit system on us next…

magnesium ,
That game is fairly tame compared to the “games” my brother and his friends would play. They’d “play” boxing. That game appeared to be played by letting my brother punch the crap out of everyone else and then laughing about it. I never got their enjoyment of that “game”, but these where boys who would see who could pee the longest on an electric fence. They’re version of fun was …different.
My dad and his brothers used to throw lit fireworks at each other for kicks. (That actually did look like fun, especially the pipe bomb duels.) They caught the hay loft on fire once, but nobody ever got seriously injured. “Playing” with fireworks like that was actually a 4th of July tradition for some male friends of mine. My husband took part in it one year and said he had fun. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

I think image embedding might be disabled so that trolls can’t leave gruesome images when they’re in a tetch and trying to upset people.

The next sentence of the article is this:

I frankly didn’t care until I saw the backlash against #notallmen, where upon I realized that this is the argument I was using to excuse feminists unlike those violence mongers I had known. I had been saying #notallfeminists, and they all agreed. If ‘not all men’ wasn’t a reasonable thing to say, then could ‘not all feminists’ be?

I’m trying to figure what parallel he’s seeing. Is he making an allusion to “Schrodinger’s Feminist Slap Circle”?

“Whenever I meet a group of feminists, I have to consider the possibility that they might ask me to participate in a voluntary slap circle. And every time I try to start a discussion of the problem, people butt in with, ‘not all feminists are like that.’ It’s not helpful and they’re only saying it to derail the conversation.”

Our cats or David’s cats, who knows? In any case, I’m pretty sure all of those cats (and other assorted furrinati) have happier lives than Rancid does.

Except in the story it was entirely for making the women feel more comfortable, and it was apparently their initiation or something, not just some pastime for when they got bored.

I am 100% confident that if anything even remotely resembling this story actually happened, this guy is either exaggerating greatly or deliberately misinterpreting something.

Feminists are well known for our slap-circles. They’re the traditional method of opening any consciousness-raising event and/or feminist conference.

Rancid nads, who simply cannot get enough of us, posted:

“I’ve never heard of slap circles in feminism either, but if this is something that bored and/or drunk young men (and sometimes women) sometimes so, then it’s entirely possible that a drunk and bored group of women identifying as feminists asked him to do this. If be nervous if I were one of your cats right now.”

Um, rancid nads, what in the ever loving fuck are you implying now? Do we have to explain what bullshit smells like, now? Moron.

If be nervous if I were one of your cats right now.

You’re neither witty nor original. What a surprise.

Nequam: There’s no image embedding or editing. Trolls are why we can’t have nice things, isn’t that right, Rancid?

I’m absolutely confident that the cats are safe, though I can’t say the same for anyone trying to involve them in a slap circle.

You know, it’s entirely possible that monkeys might fly out of my butt at some point.

Not at all very likely, but entirely possible.

You know an attempted zinger has failed when people are confused rather than offended.

Oops, sorry, that was directed at racnad and his “well, it might have happened that some feminists at some point in time used a slap circle as some kind of initiation rite.”

Cock scrunchies, man-hating feminists, misandric drinks and snacks, whore penguin waitresses, and now fish-slapping. This will certainly help us establish a new base for our matriarchal vanguard. The Revolution is coming.

“Although adopting female fighting techniques…”

Did this make anyone else cringe? After the slapping thus will commence the hair pulling & slights about your outfit…sheesh.

“Um, rancid nads, what in the ever loving fuck are you implying now? Do we have to explain what bullshit smells like, now? Moron.”

I’m sure a lot of you would like to slap me.

Heh, I would quite possibly do the slap circle thing. Don’t judge me.

At our muay thai club, on your birthday you wear a belly pad and everyone in the club punches you in the gut as hard as they can. It’s funny! At another club in our city you have to spar everyone in the club back to back. Exhausting.

It’s hard to explain if you’re not into it, but it isn’t about enjoying hurting people. Everyone gets to be on the receiving end and if you take yourself too seriously you won’t last long.

/defensive I-swear-having-that-sense-of-humour-doesn’t-make-me-a-bully-derail. 😛

I like how someone actually commented, “The part about the slap circle is something straight out of a Portlandia skit.” and yet still did not come to the logical conclusion that there might be something at all fictitious about it…

Portlandia is a documentary.

Portlandia is a documentary.

It’s true. I went to the feminist book store and the womyn there made me participate in a slap circle to check my privilege, and then refused to sell me a cock scrunchie because capitalism is violence against womyn.

It’s true. I went to the feminist book store and the womyn there made me participate in a slap circle to check my privilege, and then refused to sell me a cock scrunchie because capitalism is violence against womyn.

And Heather Graham was there!

GAAAAH I just had a couple of pushy religious types come to the door. Despite the sign in Big Red Letters telling ’em they’re not welcome.

Me, while pointing at the sign: “Can you read?”

::Dude tries to push his spiel::

Me: “CAN YOU READ?”

::slams door::

I was fine with the slap circle, but then they tried to make me sing that song about the 90s and it gave me flashbacks to 90s fashion and I had to leave early.

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