Categories
a voice for men antifeminism are these guys 12 years old? misogyny MRA narcissism paul elam taking pleasure in women's pain

Elizabeth Vargas checks into rehab; A Voice for Menners gloat, moralize

He's so concerned.
He’s very concerned.

So A Voice for Men, classy joint that it is, “reported” yesterday that Elizabeth Vargas of ABC’s 20/20, who interviewed Paul Elam for a 20/20 piece that has yet to air, has checked into rehab in order to deal with her alcoholism. The general reaction of commenters there ranged from “ha ha” to “well, maybe once she’s cured she’ll see how oppressed we men really are.” Those aren’t exact quotes. The exact quotes are below.

Here’s one especially classy exchange. Note the upvotes.

nick says	  November 6, 2013 at 9:49 PM	  More box wine for us. Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0 Log in to Reply      Laddition says	      November 7, 2013 at 7:16 AM	      I think that she preferred Chateau Bile, all the real classy feminists do. It’s an acquired taste, but they suck it down like there’s no tomorrow, apparently.

In another comment a bit too long to conveniently screenshot, Laddition explained his position in a bit more detail, winning a few upvotes in the process:

I DO NOT CARE

She doesn’t care about me or my gender, in fact she intended to do material harm to my brothers and I, she has no right to expect any better response from me than that.

If she drains the poison from her soul and comes back as a better person and does better for the other half of humanity, I may have some encouragement for her. Until then; none, nada, nietski, sweet fa.

And why do I hold such an uncharitable view?

Because I think that until women in general understand that there are costs (indifference from men) to their feminist acts, they’ll never see a reason to change. At the moment the best many of them’ll do is cluck at what the ‘extreme’ feminists say and keep taking the goodies provided for them by such harpies over the backs of men.

Men don’t have to hate women, a world of male indifference will be a cold place to be a woman. If you want to be loved and cared for, try being lovable, at the very least.

In a followup comment, he added:

And I hope that the interview with Paul was part of the breakdown and subsequent recognition of the darkness in her own twisted heart. May she benefit from the lesson by going and doing no more evil unto men.

Even the putatively “sympathetic” comments quickly turned into smug little “told-you-sos.”

Robert St. Estephe says	  November 6, 2013 at 9:43 PM	  Alcoholism is a serious problem. She has my sympathy. Also, as feminists frequently point out, chronic drunkenness often leads to poor choices that later are regretted. Perhaps sobriety will help Ms. Vargas to become interested in exploring human rights in a more well-informed and professional manner.

One commenter even managed to work in a snide reference to Sheryl Sandberg’s “Lean In” slogan:

August Løvenskiolds says	  November 6, 2013 at 10:04 PM	  Perhaps the shock of having to confront her denial about how feminism hurts both men and women helped her realize also the role that alcohol was playing in covering up that denial.  She had done the “lean in” thing; the pressures drove her to lean into a bottle.  I hope her recovery is a positive to her life.

Elam’s own comment on the story was a small masterpiece of passive-aggressive faux-sympathy:

Paul Elam says	  November 6, 2013 at 10:28 PM	  Alcoholism is a monster to deal with. And in your 50′s? It is brutally hard to make the kind of internal changes and personal growth required for sustained sobriety.  I know that Vargas has ill intent against me. And if the timing on this new story is correct, I was most likely interviewed by her when she was close to the bottom of a downward spiral into the addiction. But I do wish her success at beating this, She has a family and children that will only be hurt if she does not prevail.  I hope she makes it, and I hope the necessary gaze into the mirror that recovery from alcoholism demands helps her find a little compassion for people she has so far refused to understand.

That’s right, Paul. It’s all about you. And the only reason she was troubled by your hateful shit is because she was a drunkard with no “compassion” for poor oppressed assholes like you.

Elam was once, he says, an addiction counselor. Given his incredible narcissism and clear lack of empathy for at least half of the human race, if not the vast majority of it, it is rather hard to see how he could have been any good at that job.

60 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
not that guy
not that guy
8 years ago

Yeah, if that’s your idea of gloating from Paul Elam, and 5 upvotes is significant in your life, then, whatever dude.

You can make some pretty strong cases at times, but this is yet another premature ejaculation on your part.

Bonelady
Bonelady
8 years ago

Wait, the piece hasn’t even aired and they are sure that it will be negative? These guys seem to be gluttons for punishment — not to mention big on schadenfreud. Scary.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

If you want to be loved and cared for, try being lovable, at the very least.

But I already am loved and cared for by the men in my life, and they all know I’m a feminist.

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: not that guy

The damn post hasn’t been up for 24 hours. How many upvotes can we expect? And what would qualify as gloating, in your opinion?

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

Also, WTF. There are a LOT of people who have ill intent towards me. There are a lot of people I find reprehensible. I have no internal conflict over saying, “I am sorry they are dealing with X; no one should have to go through that, and I hope they get better.” Because I have met precious few people who became nicer and less assholey in times of intense duress.

To try and take someone’s tragedy as laughs is really gross.

entropistanon
8 years ago

@not that guy: The gloating is in the fact that he has made her problem all about him. The subtext of this little blurb is that he feels vindicated that one of the many women who disagree with him only did it because she was a drunkard and bitter.

From the OP: “Because I think that until women in general understand that there are costs (indifference from men) to their feminist acts, they’ll never see a reason to change.”

“… a world of male indifference will be a cold place to be a woman.”

Dude, your love and attention is really not that important. In fact, (and I know this might come as somewhat of a shock) women have their own lives, and they are quite capable of living a life divorced from male attention, and even being PRODUCTIVE despite not being lovable to you. Just ask the women that you think are “fat” or “ugly” or “useless”.

Still around and doing stuff, aren’t they?

Alice Sanguinaria
8 years ago

Elam: I’m sorry that you’re suffering, I hope that you’ll be okay so that you can come to your senses and not think of me as a misogynistic a-hole.

I can’t say I’m shocked.

MaudeLL
8 years ago

About the ‘threat’ of indifference…

Please do. I long for the day MRAs (and mgtows) will finally be indifferent towards women. For now, I just see a bunch of people who are *obsessed* with women.

entropistanon
8 years ago

In my post above, I just wanted to make clear: I didn’t mean that Vargas’ motivation for disagreeing with Elam was ACTUALLY that she was a “drunkard” and “bitter”, but that’s what Elam PERCEIVES it to be.

Sorry if that was worded wrong, I was being careless.

Hyena Girl
8 years ago

It really is just all about them, isn’t it? MRA’s are a self licking ice cream cone.

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

Out of curiosity, how many folks here, on hearing about Schwyzer’s latest meltdown, rubbed their hands together and went, “maybe now you’ll be a better feminist!”

Nobody? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Karalora
Karalora
8 years ago

If you want to be loved and cared for, try being lovable, at the very least.

To these guys, wanting to be treated like a human being makes a woman unlovable. Says it all, really.

Tracy
Tracy
8 years ago

Also – huge eeeek at Elam ever being an addictions counsellor. My BIL is one. Treatment centres (good ones) are choosy about who they employ and… well, I just can’t see it.

PJ
PJ
8 years ago

she has no right to expect any better response from me than that.

If she drains the poison from her soul and comes back as a better person and does better for the other half of humanity, I may have some encouragement for her

I think I missed the part where Vargas made a personal appeal to Laddition for his sympathy and support.

pecunium
8 years ago

So That Guy seems to demand Snidely Whiplash levels of mustache twirling while chortling, Mwuahhahah! to call it gloating.

Never mind that the subtext of this is, “thankk goodness people think she’s a soak, so we can say it was all an alcohol-fueled hatchet job, and any way we knew she had it in for us, now we know why”.

Which raises the question, if he was so certain it was going to be a hatchet job why consent to the interview?

Oh, right, he figured he could get attention, and that would cause people to come look at his “satire” and presto, Feminism is ended.

moldybrehd
8 years ago

I was actually surprised at Elam’s lack of vitriol, but then I realized that, until the 20/20 special comes out, they could update the content, and not in his favour.

Chie Satonaka
Chie Satonaka
8 years ago

I’M GOING TO POST A 500 WORD RANT TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I DO NOT CARE ABOUT THIS!! I AM INDIFFERENT.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

Also, as feminists frequently point out, chronic drunkenness often leads to poor choices which are later regretted.

Is that a thing that feminists frequently point out?

HeatherN
8 years ago

@CassandraSays: It’s almost as if being a feminist doesn’t automatically make one unlovable. It’s almost as if you have other priorities besides making sure people like. Funny, that.

Alice Sanguinaria
8 years ago

Viscaria – I think it’s a reference to “slut having drunk sex, and then reports it as rape the next day to not lose face”.

Remember, men are being horribly oppressed when feminists educate people on consent, cause that means they can’t fuck the passed out drunk girl. *nodnod*

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

By “feminists” I assume he means “some woman who I saw saying something that annoyed me”.

Ally S
8 years ago

Compassion for…who again?

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

These guys really, REALLY don’t understand what “don’t take advantage of drunk people” mean, do they? Yech.

Alice Sanguinaria
8 years ago

LBT – It’s not like they have a good record of such. See: “WAAHHH THE DON’T BE THAT GUY CAMPAIGN CALLED ME A POTENTIAL RAPIST!!!” and “What do you mean I can’t fuck drunk people?! Are you calling me a rapist? MY BONER MUST NOT BE IMPEDED!”

Athywren
Athywren
8 years ago

Men don’t have to hate women, a world of male indifference will be a cold place to be a woman. If you want to be loved and cared for, try being lovable, at the very least.

“We are the wooooorrrrrld,
We are the childreeeeeeen,
We are gonna fuck their shit
Right up through the ceiliiiiiin’!

And there are terrible things,
Like comedies with funny dads
And sometimes
You can’t
Abandon your childreeeeeen

We are the wooooorrrrrld,
We are the childreeeeeeen,
We are gonna fuck their shit
Right up through the ceiliiiiiin’!

And there are terrible things,
Like boys not beating girls at ev’rything.
We’re gonna make-it-right
We’re gonna show-them-now
With in-dif-fereeeeence

SING IT! SING TOGETHER NOW!

We are the wooooorrrrrld,
We are the childreeeeeeen,
We are gonna fuck their shit
Right up through the ceiliiiiiin’!”

*waves a candle*

1 2 3
%d bloggers like this: