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Scorned: How Pissed is GirlWritesWhat at A Voice for Men’s Paul Elam?

GirlWritesWhat to WoollyBumblebee: This misogynistic hate blog ain't big enough for the both of us.
GirlWritesWhat to TheWoollyBumblebee: This misogynistic hate blog ain’t big enough for the both of us.

Sometimes the subtext is much more interesting than the text. On the surface, blabby FeMRA videoblogger Girl Writes What’s recent 3,635 word blog post on the l’affaire TheWoolyBumblebee is a nasty, brutish, but not-at-all-short attack on her former FeMRA comrade at men’s rights hate site A Voice for Men, recently kicked out of the clubhouse for telling off libertarians and Men Going Their Own Way. (See here and here for more details on it all.)

But if you read a little more carefully you can see signs that Girl Writes What’s anger and frustration may really be directed at AVFM’s founder and grand pooh-bah Paul Elam.

Oh, GWW — real name Karen Straughan — is plenty angry at TheWoolybumblebee — real name Kristina Hansen. Here’s one relatively restrained passage from Straughan’s rambling diatribe, which ironically, with only a few changes in details, could also describe AVFM’s Elam to a T:

WBB seems to thrive on attention (both negative and positive), has very sloppy impulse control, is emotionally unstable …. She takes up causes she thinks will get her admiration (such as the A Voice for Boys site, which she started and quickly abandoned–the URL now redirects to her personal website), and it’s probably at least as much about external validation as anything else. I have watched her repeatedly engage in several of the tactics of abusive women–DARVO (deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender), especially–when people take issue with her attitudes or behavior. Witness the quote-mining she engages in, while simultaneously castigating her opponents for their “intellectual dishonesty” and “lies”.

Oh, but it gets worse, much worse.

[D]espite 10 years of state-subsidized education and four degrees, Kristina Hansen’s accomplishments include 1) following her hind-brain into the weeds to her own self-destruction, 2) being a rabid joiner with little follow-through, as evidenced by A Voice for Boys, 3) whining about people who she claims “do nothing” a month after they handed her $5000, 4) alienating three quarters of the people she claimed she was serving, 5) squeezing out babies, 6) collecting child support and social welfare despite having milked the system for god knows how many degrees between her and her husband, and 7) throwing public temper tantrums because no one appreciates her.

Money well spent, by all measures. Let’s pay people to get educated so we can pay them to sit on their asses and generate more burdens on society. Again, I’m so glad to know I helped pay for those four degrees she’s using to sit in a lawn chair and gestate a fifth fetus with. A fifth child who makes me weep for the future of humanity, because regardless of whether you’re a biological determinist/reductionist or whether you think it’s all environment, you have to admit those are five fucked up kids about to be unleashed on the world.

Yeah, that’s right. She attacked the woman’s children. Classy.

And then Straughan gets all Mean Girls (pretentious antifeminist version) on her:

And whatever your actual motivations, I can tell you what it looks like to outsiders and disinterested parties: it looks like you’re the misfit attacking the popular girl for getting more attention than you. It looks like you’re grinding a man (AVFM) into the dirt because you were scorned by him. You’re living up to every single goddamn negative stereotype of women out there, which is all the more ironic considering your constant NAFALTing to MGTOWs.

You are the female nature that drives feminism, even if you’re not a feminist … .

So what was this I was saying about Straughan’s real rage being directed at Elam? Well, it’s clear from a number of remarks she makes throughout the piece that she’s livid with him for having put Hansen on the masthead in the first place. Not only that, but she feels a certain contempt at him for being so easily won over by the younger woman.

Elam put Hansen on the masthead, she writes,

despite several glaring red flags in videos she’d uploaded to her previous YT channel (TruthandOblivion, which got flagged down), where she used terms like, “you’re the man, you have to be the adult” to a male DV victim, etc. ….

Apparently Paul wasn’t aware of the red flags (he doesn’t even have time to watch all MY videos, pfft :P), or ignored any tingling of his spider senses (or perhaps intentionally ignored the flags because he is constantly juggling multiple priorities). He promoted her (way too early for ANYONE, really, who was so new to the MRM) to senior news director for Canada.

So Elam promoted this fresh new face to Senior News Director for Canada — and somehow can’t  find the time to even watch Girl Writes What’s videos. And Straughan just stewed quietly about it for months, as she makes clear in a part of her post that is ostensibly addressed directly to Hansen, even though it’s clear the real target is Elam:

Kristina, I just want to say, I avoided raising my concerns with Paul primarily because it might have been construed as me being catty–me being one of those women only concerned with monopolizing male attention and being top dogette. Given how quickly he promoted you, I figured he was smitten and would be even more prone to draw that conclusion if a shopworn old bird like me raised concerns. And I wasn’t interested in turning anything into a cat-fight over market share over this movement’s mostly male cheerleaders.

And however much power you seem to think I have over AVFM (given your statements to that effect), and how much practical power I might actually have (given my reach), I choose not to involve myself in the inner workings of AVFM, and always have. Paul has actually made more decisions based on your counsel than on mine, because I would never think to tell someone how to run their own goddamn website. Even when they hire sociopathic, toxic, abusive people like you.

Wow. If she thinks so poorly of Paul Elam’s judgement, why on earth does she stick around?

Will Girl Writes What be the next out the door?

121 replies on “Scorned: How Pissed is GirlWritesWhat at A Voice for Men’s Paul Elam?”

Pierre is perfect, because he serves the added function of allowing us to blame an imaginary MAN when we make a mistake. 😀

Dean reminds me so much of myself when I would create elaborate, completely unbelievable stories to try to convince people I wasn’t lying. Of course, I was 5 years old at the time and I learned that that wasn’t a good or ethical way to believe so… Actually Dean doesn’t remind me of myself at all.

Ooooh, I want to be “Fact Checker”. AVFM has convinced me all I have to do is do nothing and get paid. And since kittens are like currency around here that sounds like the best job.

Can I be the Wild Boar BBQ supplier?

Because I will be hunting them, and hopefully will get one and make a lot of BBQ!

(not going alone, I’ll be hunting with someone who knows what they are doing)

[For “believe” up there in my last comment please substitute “behave.”]

Yes, yes, to SittieKitty and Bostonian. Bostonian, could you also supply some vegan and vegetarian snacks for those of us who eat lower on the food chain? 😉


It took him a week of being weird and not seeming to know where he was, but he’s settled right back into his normal pattern of following me around, snuggling on the sofa by the computer, snuggling in the bed, and begging for food. He does seem much older (based on the vet’s estimate of his age at adoption, he’s around 12 now) and hasn’t done nearly as much hunting and leaping tall fences in small hilarious bounds as he used to, but it may just be that he’s resting up after a year of chasing rabbits on the farm and will start bringing me unwanted dead things again. I won’t mind if he doesn’t, though.

RE: Argenti

I didn’t know you enjoyed Infinity Smashed! By all means, enjoy; I have TONS of it (been writing it for over half our life, before I existed). If you want a good intro/crash course story, I’d say give ‘Six Weeks to Recovery’ a shot. It’s a good stand-alone, but also connects to a couple other stories.

I also have a trans IS story coming to print soon! (No big deal, just Kinko’s publishing for con stock.) I’m very excited!

cloudiah: I can also be an assistant ‘green editor’ because … I use a fair amount of medical “green”* and can just blame all mistakes on that.

But I can’t compete with Pierre for this position, since I don’t want to steal a *man’s* job. Even if he is an imaginary man, it still counts in principle.

* Seriously, is that what they meant? Because that’s all I can think about in this context. “Sorry I fucked up, man … I was so blazed I was totally incapable of thought.” The only thing is, none of these dudes are chill enough to support that hypothesis. Not even green-induced paranoia can touch their madness.

MD! Tomatoes don’t go in the fridge! At least Biff knows that! (Of course he does, clearly he can cook)

Yes I’m reading six weeks to recovery, and loving it. Or rather, lost in it enough to want to yell at MD over the tomatoes 🙂

I…that was…wow. Because sometimes you need the cold calculation of “you can’t disappoint me” and a no questions asked medic (reason 302 the pharm. student rocks, ze gave me both when I showed up poorly bandaged [pharm. student = not-an-ex, maybe-an-ex, fuck-it’s-complicated…soon to be pharm. grad, but it’s easier])

That was wonderful.

I couldn’t be a green editor, but I could be a purple one. ::looks at chronically ink-stained fingers::

AJ, so glad Clark’s settling in! I haz the envy of you having a kitty who likes snuggling. Mads is so not a snuggler.

I just got lost working through the Stuff100 um, stuff. Including Grey and Bob’s story…the roses…Mac…my condolences. Hopefully the two you just linked are less gut wrenching…

RE: Argenti

*laughs* A lot of Infinity Smashed is pretty gutpunchy. Some of it is a lot lighter, though! (After the Fall, however, is not. In my opinion, it’s quite a bit worse, even if it is much, much shorter.)

After mistakenly referring in my head to the “Bride of the Monster” thread as the “Bride of the Blockquote Monster” I should like for my title to be Bride of the Blockquote Monster. The Blockquote Monster is obvs a total beta mangina, what, with marrying an over 25 year old feminist like me.

RE: Argenti

Also, you’ve made me realize how out-of-date the Stuff100 table is. I’ve got 74 now, and I think it’s still around forty or something on the site. I should fix that…

Caught up elsewhere, back to trying not to get too emotional over IS.

Relatedly, about Grey and the no scar touching thing, and Mac too I suppose, you see where I commented on new-meds-psych wanting to see mine and not following my train of thought well enough to realize she was only seeing the oldest of ’em? Also, no, just no. Met you less than an hour ago and can’t resist having you fucking touch those? After the whole pick a gender thing?!

Yeah, I want my meds-psych intern back, awesome that she graduated, but she rocked.

@Kittehs Clark has always been a wonder, I brought home an un-neutered adult male cat ten years ago, and after exploring my apt. while I was lying on the couch watching tv, he came and settled himself down on my chest and watched with me. I cannot imagine who the people he had before me were, he was taught not to jump on things, and I certainly didn’t do that, I also wouldn’t dump him on the side of the highway, which is where he was found. I also fixed him but he sprayed that whole apt. first (and my car) and it took moving out to get rid of the smell in my home, and eighteen gallons of Nature’s Miracle for my poor car. He’s still my joy and my first pet. And my car only smells now when it’s hot out. Crap, it’s the beginning of summer.

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