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The Spearhead celebrates Mothers Day by attacking trans* mothers

Vintage Mothers Day copy

I apologize for returning so quickly to the cesspool that is The Spearhood, but I felt the need to note how head Spearheader WF Price celebrated Mothers’ Day this year: with an attack on trans* women that probably deserves a TRIGGER WARNING for its nastiness and ignorance.

Responding to an Op-Ed in the New York Times by author Jennifer Finley Boylan reflecting on her experience as a mother who also happens to be a trans* woman, Price lashes out at what he describes as

men who reject everything about masculinity. Men who reject it so much that they chop off their genitalia and take female hormones in order to eradicate everything male about them.

You may recall A Voice for Men’s Paul Elam making a similarly transphobic “argument” about the alleged motivations of trans* women a couple of years back.

After this general attack on trans* women, Price narrows his aim a bit, attacking those trans* women who have the chutzpah to declare themselves mothers, focusing his wrath on Boylan in particular:

One of these stalwart, self-mutilating individuals – a “former” male who goes by the name Jennifer Finley Boylan – has declared that he’s every bit the mother as any woman. … If we don’t accept that he’s a mother, we’re bigots.

Well, yes, Mr. Price, not accepting that she’s a mother does make you a bigot.

After setting forth this rather garden-variety transphobia, WF Price spells out the broad outlines of what you might call an MRA Theory of Trans* Womanhood:

I understand why some of the most selfish, depraved men among us would want to relinquish their masculinity. In our society, women are free to pursue their heart’s desire without fear of sanction. Judging women for putting their own needs first is condemned in every mainstream outlet, from Dr. Phil to The Atlantic.

Some men are bound to be envious of this. Some of them go so far as to try to try to become a woman. And what kind of woman do they emulate? The worst parody of one. Gaudy, self-righteous, exhibitionist, attention-seeking, demanding, selfish and all too willing to place their burdens on others.

Ironically, with the possible exception of the word “gaudy,” all those adjectives in that last sentence apply perfectly to Price himself, and more than a few of the other Men’s Rights Activists I’ve had the displeasure of encountering while writing this blog.

162 replies on “The Spearhead celebrates Mothers Day by attacking trans* mothers”

“Seriously, if you’re cleaning up puke at 3 AM, comforting a kid that didn’t make the varsity team, selling raffle tickets for the PTO, worrying about whether your toddler’s cold has become a sinus infection, and all the other challenges of parenthood, then you are a mother.”

Or maybe you’re a father, or a brother, or a sister, or a grandparent, or an uncle or aunt? Or anyone else who finds themselves (helping) to raise a child?

Awww, thanks kittenserf; he is totally my baby. One thing I like about his getting older is that he now really likes to snuggle, so I’ll often wake up with a snuggle of soft, warm fur every day.

I’ve been reading this blog a long time. I don’t know why I still find this shocking. MRA’s are scum.

Or maybe you’re a father, or a brother, or a sister, or a grandparent, or an uncle or aunt? Or anyone else who finds themselves (helping) to raise a child?

Joe, did you even read the context, you nincompoop? That is in response to someone saying that a trans* woman with a kid isn’t a mother.

Stop being such a fucking idiot, for once.

@LBT- I am torn between wanting to weep and laugh uncontrollably at Sexual Hybrid Hummers.

RE: Aaliyah

Aw, bummer. I’m sorry the D is biting you. I’m feeling a bit myself too; I had to go to the local homeless coalition today, and I had to give them a gender. Joy of joys: go to a men’s shelter, where I worry I’ll get attacked, or go to a women’s shelter, where I shouldn’t be.

I finally said female, since that’s what all my paperwork is in. But I still felt shitty about it.

Yuck, I’m sorry to hear that. I can relate; I hate that “He’s [sic] one of the guys!” shit I deal with so often. And I’ve asked my brother to start gendering me properly, but he’s all like “It feels strange.” He is an ally, fortunately, but I really wish he would try harder.

Lemme guess – Joe is also scared of moooslems? (I write it that way because I see it written that way almost exclusively by racist Islamophobes.)

@marinerachel: I’m sure he’d say he wasn’t afraid of Muslins (my favorite misspelling). He’s fast to claim that he’s only HALF white, and that makes him immune to charges of racism no takebacks infinity. And then he goes on rants about how immigrants are destroying his beloved Britain that would make the Daily Mail wipe a proud tear.

He doesn’t want to draw internet attention to himself, so he cunningly types them out C1A and t3rr0r1sm, like some paranoid hacker.

That’s why I’m prejudice against Christians – some of them shoot doctors, you know.

“Seriously, if you’re cleaning up puke at 3 AM, comforting a kid that didn’t make the varsity team, selling raffle tickets for the PTO, worrying about whether your toddler’s cold has become a sinus infection, and all the other challenges of parenthood, then you are a mother.”

Or maybe you’re a father, or a brother, or a sister, or a grandparent, or an uncle or aunt? Or anyone else who finds themselves (helping) to raise a child?

Oh wow.

My mind is fucking blown.

@Argenti: I’m sure there are some Baptists out there who Support The Troops. Sure and I’ve seen plenty of those yellow Support the Troops stickers turned sideways to make a Jesus Fish on the back of SUVs which had acres and acres of tailgate, and plenty of room for an upright ribbon.

OTOH, the other day I saw a decal row of four Daleks and a K9 on the back of a car, so that tickled me.

Wait, my point got lost. Soldiers shoot people — they are often called upon to be violent.

People who Support the Troops are therefore guilty by association with people who are violent.

Therefore I’m totally justified in sticking my fist in the eye of the next Jehovah’s Witness to come knocking on my door. Because violence just can’t be tolerated, youse guise. But I’m totally not prejudiced! I can’t be! I have it on good information that there is a strong possibility that one of my great-great-grandparents might have been Cherokee. And only white people can be prejudiced.

/sarcasm and bad logic

I’ll give Joe credit – you have to keep the feds off your back.

Eh, Big Brother’s been watching us for years. ‘Swhy I randomly stick my middle finger out the window, in case their spy satellites are passing my house. I just gotta stick it to the Man, man.

Falconer — I got it.

“I’m sure there are some Baptists out there who Support The Troops” — my parents (well, my mother, my father is Christmas Easter and guilt trips)…until I say we need to end our pointless “war on terror”…that’s not supporting our troops, that’s being a commie

“I have it on good information that there is a strong possibility that one of my great-great-grandparents might have been Cherokee”

Blackfoot here, but my genealogy is either disproving it or that’s one of my dead ends (1800~ is no good records on who was “assimilated” so idfk)

Worst parenting fails:

The baby with the boa constrictor…there’s a photo of me hugging one about that size when I was 3 or 4. But that was totally my choice because it was awesome and snakes are cool. My mother still insists she never should’ve let me do it. Parenting win?

@Argenti- If the troops don’t go get the terrorists, then they WIN! And then Jesus and the Bald Eagles cry together. Or something.

Quadruple post! Go me! >.<

17 isn’t a fail, those leash things are designed for toddlers and give them a safe amount of freedom (not stuck in a stroller, can go look at that thing over there, but only if over there is close to the adult holding the leash)

Certainly better than letting a kid that small just run around. Roads! Less friendly dogs! Creepy people! (Giant snakes!)

Fade — I had one too, I don’t remember it but I’ve been told I preferred it to having to hold someone’s hand, getting very cranky about not being able to roam (sounds about right considering my mother still loses me in stores!)

Of course, there was the day she put wine in my bottle and realized what she’d done when she went to pour formula in her wine glass. I was apparently looking at her like “wtf is this mom?”

Parenting sometimes fail for her? (Then there’s my father, I got neither “it’s a boy” nor “it’s a girl”, no no, ”it’s a keeper”…I guess I don’t mind being a genderless fish though…)

LBT – I hope you can find a shelter that is at least somewhat trans* friendly. i worked in a shelter, and the couple of identified transwomen we had bunked in the womens dorms and it was…(shocking)….not a big deal for anyone. i hate thinking of people i know being treated the way i hear it happens in so many shelters.

i should add a million postscripts, among them that people who don’t identify with either gender should not be segregated or put at risk, and that instead of fixating on why trans* people create a “higher risk” we should focus on how to make ALL people safe.

falconer: I was in Knoxville and saw a great bumper sticker (ca 2006), “there is a dividing line between intelligence and stupidity: the 49th parallel”

@Deoridhe – “Awww, thanks kittenserf; he is totally my baby. One thing I like about his getting older is that he now really likes to snuggle, so I’ll often wake up with a snuggle of soft, warm fur every day.”

That gives me hope that Mads might cave in when she hits middle age!

@Falconer – “@marinerachel: I’m sure he’d say he wasn’t afraid of Muslins (my favorite misspelling).”

Well he’s right of course. It’s not Muslins you need to be afraid of, it’s those Hessians. Dangerous, they are.

emilygoddess: Eh, I think I was going more for ‘continuing the discussion’ than outright ‘correcting’; sorry if it came across stronger than that.

If someone calls you Mom, then you are a mom. Period. The new low reached by these MRAs is starting to become surreal.
Aaliyah: I am so sorry that you have to live in fear of these types! I can only hope that things will get better for more trans*(can someone please enlighten me about the asterisk?) people in the future. Guys like this make me want to hulk out and smash things.
LBT: I too experienced a period of homelessness and it is a terrifying thing to have to deal with. I cannot imagine what you must be going through. If there had been a trans*woman in the same shelter with me, I would have been happy to have her there. It would be a good feeling to know that she would be safe with us. Also I think most people with sense know that she would not be any more of a threat than any other woman. Unfortunately, I also know that a lot of homeless shelters are run and funded by religious organizations and the potential for discrimination that entails. Be safe and remember the old adage, what is it; something something rock bottom and the only way to go is up.
Bionicmommy: “Birth is only the process where some cis moms stop being pregnant.”
I know what you meant by this, but I just want to say that this hit a nerve with me because my experience of birth was/is the most traumatic thing that I have ever been through. I cannot exaggerate when I say that I will suffer from the mental scars it left on me for the rest of my life. So just be careful when you dismiss the process of giving birth so easily. That said, it does not make me any more of a mom than someone who adopts, not one little bit. The trauma I suffered actually made it harder for me to bond with my daughter for the first few days. Sorry if that was a bit off topic.

No, seriously. Are these people for real? “Reject everything about masculinity?” The collective nastiness of the manosphere is stomach-turning. They give a whole new meaning to the phrase “toxic masculinity” with their obsession with gender roles and “choosing sides” in their imaginary war.

It’s true what was said earlier in this discussion: These people are so deep in their self-constructed persecution complex and irrational hatred for people different from themselves that they honestly think that’s how others view the world as well. And that would almost be sad if it wasn’t so pathetic.

Seriously, if you’re a black private dick that’s a sex machine to all the chicks, would risk your life for your brother man, and are a complicated man whom no one understands but his woman, then you are a bad mother (shut your mouth).

(Just waiting to see if Joe gets offended by this one.)

Funnily enough, I’ve rejected every element of MRA “masculinity” and I’m still cis. Maybe gender is kinda complicated?

“Seriously, if you’re a black private dick that’s a sex machine to all the chicks, would risk your life for your brother man, and are a complicated man whom no one understands but his woman, then you are a bad mother (shut your mouth).”

Or maybe you’re a bad father (shut your mouth), or a bad brother (shut your mouth), or a bad sister (shut your mouth), or a bad grandparent (shut your mouth), or a bad uncle (shut your mouth) or bad aunt (shut your mouth)? Or any other bad (shut your mouth) who finds themselves (helping) to raise a child?

(backing singers catch their breath)

Yeah, regarding number seventeen, I think the idea is that it’s fail to put the leash on the kid instead of the dog. Only it’s just one pic, for all we know they might be fiddling with the dog’s leash this very moment, the dog might have entangled its legs or something, only it’s not obvious from the pic. And I agree with Argenti that it’s perfectly sensible to have toddlers on a leash. I know lots of people react strongly against this because they have this gut reaction of “leashes are for non-human animals only!”, but really, it does make sense.

@freemage et al Thanks much! It appears the consensus is “Whipping girl” so I will start there. As far as your personal story, luckily I have never had much issue getting my head around same-sex love. However, knowing all the awakening moments and sudden embarrassment afterwards, I make no judgments on your path.

I remember trying to talk to other guys about toxic masculinity and getting stonewalled pretty harshly. I did not have a good vocabulary for the ideas, but I saw a lot of the shackles guys were wearing as proof of their manhood. They would lash out at guys not carrying the masculinity club card and women. I love this blog because it seems to do a better job at something I hoped to do.

If someone calls you Mom, then you are a mom. Period.

What if they’re not entirely serious? My online friends sometimes call me Internet Mom because a) I’m the oldest in the group and b) I sort of act like the group mother – if someone’s sick, I tell them what home remedy to use, if people get too snarky at each other, I tell them to get along, etc.

@Karalora: please don’t over-analyze this. The point of this is that the Spearhead is taking away Mom cards, policing who is and isn’t a mom, based on biology. So when you bring up colloquial uses of mom it kind of comes across… well… not supportive.

Focus on the big picture; you’re an Internet-Mom, and WF Price doesn’t get to say you aren’t.

Urghhkleyuckkbleh. It’s not as if I expect the Spearhead to be anything more than a cesspit of bigoted bloviation, but it’s never pretty to see. I made the mistake of clicking over there to read the whole post (predictably awful) as well as the comments (predominantly atrocious). There are a couple of downvoted comments that suggest even regular Spearhead readers can show even the occasional glimmer of humanity, but the most upvoted comments just plain hurt. (But they also highlight the interdependence of transphobia, homophobia, and good old-fashioned misogyny* — even more so than the original post — so I thought I’d share them here. TRIGGER WARNING for everything I mentioned in the previous sentence, with bells on.)

*I’m not claiming that transphobia is really “just” homophobia, or homophobia is really “just” misogyny, or anything along those lines, but I do think that all three prejudices draw on a shared logic and tend to be mutually reinforcing.

A not-so-delicious word salad from Alcestis Eshtemoa:

Transexuals/Transgenders are part of the LGBTQPPI freak show. Transexual “women” are de-facto mutilated or castrated men, on a much lower level than eunuchs even. Sure a couple of people may be born “inter-sexed” but most (in general) are not born or made that way. There are two sexes and they are complementary.

Instead it’s the delusional cosplay “I’m a woman in a man’s body” (sure and I’m really Napoleon reincarnated or Marilyn Monroe in a hideous, ill-mannered woman’s body). It’s a form of narcissism, the worse kind even, because these people don’t play their parts well. Instead the solipsism is projected elsewhere.

Here’s a great example: Ever seen movies depicted in some far-away in the past era, yet somehow all of the characters and themes in them are irredeemably modern? The spirit of the movie isn’t there? That’s the gist of it. One is looking at a movie about pre-modern China and there is feminism, democracy, individualism, multicultural diversity and Western styled atheism everywhere. What the heck?

About words like “male” and “gender” in English, one problem is that “gender roles”, “male gender” and “female gender” (the words themselves) are an abomination. These words have little to no meaning and can be switched at whim.

Instead it should “masculine sex and feminine sex”, as they say in a Latin derived language like French, Spanish or Portuguese, which is that sex is a much truer and better word than “gender”. And that while there is a difference between male and masculine or feminine and female, it is interconnected. Gnosticism and false dichotomies aren’t good.

Sometimes I think that “gender” was made up by Puritan feminists (which is what they truly are). It doesn’t make one depraved or “dirty minded” to say sex roles or sexual differences.

Brigadon girds his loins with assdata and does battle with some strawmen:

There is a vast difference between being homophobic and having a legitimate understanding of the deleterious effects homophilia has on society.

If you are not into molesting children, are you pedophobic?
If you are not into fucking housepets, are you beastophobic?
Why in the hell is it considered a ‘phobia’ to be disgusted and sickened by something which, in the end, is an incredibly unhealthy habit from both a species and societal standpoint?

This whole ‘culture of acceptance’ thing, demanding acceptance for EVERYTHING, no matter how sick, is incredibly destructive. Why should we accept cannibalism? why should we accept pederastery? why should we accept homosexuality? why should we accept beastiality? how does that strengthen us as a culture? what does it ADD to the human experience, and what does it take away?

Nice attempt at shaming language, though. technically ‘homophobia’= “fear of those like one’s self”. completely incorrect usage of the word.

Unfortunately, though, f*gs are afraid to use the real word…
Edinakusesiphobia- fear of sodomy.
Frankly, all things concerned, I consider a fear of getting sodomized to be a very real worry, as opposed to a ‘phobia’. Especially considering that nearly six times as many men in the US get raped as women, and nearly a hundred times as many men get FORCEFULLY raped (sodomized) as women.

And, to be completely honest, why should we NOT ridicule men that lop their penises off in order to be failures as both males and females.

Especially considering that nearly six times as many men in the US get raped as women, and nearly a hundred times as many men get FORCEFULLY raped (sodomized) as women.

…this takes their fail on the one study and ratchets it up by a ka-billion. WTF is this?

qocheedy, I thank you for going there so I don’t have to. But please, please, take care of yourself; being exposed to levels of WTFery like that can’t be good for your eyes. Or your brain. Or your computer. Or anything, really.

@the first Joe,

Did you even read the original post before you responded to me? I was talking specifically about Jennifer Boylan, the mom who wrote about her experiences as a mom in the New York Times. Why would I make references to other types of caregivers when I am talking about her?

My mom* likes to go to Orange Julius**.

*Please note: Sometimes my dad, brother, aunts, uncles, sons, and second cousins go to Orange Julius.

**Second note: Sometimes people like strawberry smoothies better than the orange ones.

@marcilannister,

You are right. I phrased that poorly. I didn’t mean to minimize the risks of childbirth. I actually should have said that childbirth does not make a mom. Some women become moms after childbirth but it doesn’t make their motherhood “more authentic”. And no, you weren’t too off topic by pointing that out. It was my fault for not considering how what I said would affect women or other people with uteruses that have had traumatic births.

Another example of birth not making a mom is that my second cousin is about to give birth and adopt the baby out. She does not want to raise the baby and is not ready to be a mom. The couple who adopt the baby girl will be the parents, because they will do the work to raise her.

Brigadon really needs to cite his source on his claim that

Especially considering that nearly six times as many men in the US get raped as women, and nearly a hundred times as many men get FORCEFULLY raped (sodomized) as women.

Of course nobody from the Spearhead crowd questioned that.

As far as I can tell, the mere mention of “gender” seems to drive many MRAs into fits of keyboard-mashing indignation — partly because they seem to think the word itself is a feminist shibboleth, but mostly because the concept of gender undermines all the biotruthy bullshit that underpins so much of the MRM.

@Howard Bannister

Sorry if I came off unsupportive. I had just gotten up and wasn’t thinking straight yet. I missed part of the context and thought maybe we had drifted into silly casual conversation, as we so often do.

At the same time, though, “If someone calls you something, then that’s what you are,” is probably not an argument we should present to the MRM. God alone knows what they’d proceed to do with it. And yes, I do understand the context (now that I’m fully awake)…but they certainly won’t. Or they won’t care.

That long streak of drivel from Alcestis Eshtemoa is very typical of a certain mindset…the type that can’t handle subjectivity and wants everything to be strictly categorized based on directly observable traits. You know the type – they give themselves away every time they get all huffy at the prospect of asking someone which pronouns they prefer.

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