Today, another lesson in how to get yourself hundreds of upvotes on Reddit.
It’s really quite simple.
1) Go to the Ask Reddit subreddit. Find the post asking Redditors if they’ve ever “tried a crazy urban-dictionary sex move? (e.g. Alaskan Pipeline, Komodo Dragon, Donkey Punch, etc.) How did it turn out?”
2) Post a story about a hilarious little prank you (allegedly) pulled on a sex partner that instantly transformed consensual sex into violent rape.
3) Oh, and throw in a gratuitous racial slur while you’re at it.
4) Then whine about how your partner’s negative response to your (alleged) little rape prank gave you “blue balls” and complain that you might have to pay her damages for “emotional distress” in civil court (allegedly).
You might think that this might be a bit much even for the morally undeveloped manchildren (and occasional womanchildren) who populate Reddit. But guess what? The poster of the tale in question got literally hundreds more upvotes than downvotes for his whiny “confession.”
Here’s the screenshot to prove it. (I’ve partically obscured the racial slur; click on image to see full-sized version.)
There were, of course, those who reacted like normal human beings to Mr. Dick Pic’s story. (I’ve obscured the homophobic slur that made up the entirely of his reply.)
Mr. Dick Pic was so offended that anyone was offended by his shitty (alleged) behavior that he rage-quit the thread, deleting his comment and — living up to his name — leaving only a dick pic in its place.
Now, Mr. Dick Pic may just be trolling, and I really hope that’s all there is to his terrible story, but his ridiculously pissy behavior after he got called out makes me think that his story, or at least parts of it, may actually be true.
Just another day on Reddit, the internet’s largest and most influential asshat aggregator.
Thanks to an anonymous Reddit informant for the heads-up, and the screenshots.