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Contraceptives make us all passive-aggressive arguers, says passive-aggressive arguer

Not the original caption, alas. Borrowed from The Mangina Monologues. (Click the pic to see the original post.)

Apparently, using contraceptives turns couples into The Lockhorns. Or so this post from CL on Complementarian Loners suggests:

Contraception reduces sex to recreation – ‘fun’ without the deep joy that a mindfully lived life can bring – and thus this percolates through the relationship as a whole. All those little jabs at each other, the passive-aggressive ways of letting the other know that you are hurting, and the hiding are part of this mentality. We’ve all done it, just as most of us have contracepted.

I’m sure many people will think this a stretch, but when we withhold something as central as our fertility from each other, what else do we withhold? Self-censored thought is like contraceptive sex. Married couples are often reluctant to be completely honest with each other and are apt to become defensive with each other, ending up – or even starting out – as adversaries rather than team mates. Since the so-called sexual revolution (think about that term for a moment), women and men have not needed each other the way they used to. Separating sexual intercourse from procreation has also separated us from each other – and from our essential selves – in a real way.

Yeah, it’s probably better for married couples to eschew contraception entirely and have eight gazillion children. And then get a reality show.

 

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cloudiah
9 years ago

How’s the baby, dualityheart? I hope you’ve started the feminist indoctrination — best to get them while they’re young! 😀

dualityheart
dualityheart
9 years ago

Baby is doing well. She already has a grip like a vice. I’m breastfeeding her, which means sore boobs for a bit, but you know us feminists-any excuse to indoctrinate our offspring with our liberal milk supply. Also, she’s already putting those feminine wiles to good use- she’s charmed even my father, who is not “a baby kinda guy,” and my husband is over the moon with joy that she’s here. In a week, she’s grown half an inch and is basically back up to her birth weight (which is kinda record breaking compared to most infants).

I’m basically healed but the doctor has placed me on complete pelvic rest for 6 weeks, and I’m still doing the whole flushing of the uterus after having a baby thing so it’s not like I want to do much anyway. I will say that for me, being a mom for the second time, I am a lot more relaxed and can enjoy things a lot more. It is so much easier to deal with the messiness of a newborn now that I have developed various systems with my first through some trial and error.

The main frustration is that because she nurses upwards of 20 times a day and each feeding lasts a good 20-30 minutes, I spend a good amount of time with one or both hands full with baby and breast positioning so I mostly have no ability to interact or type online. So I read when I can, but mostly, I have been 24/7 food supply with my 3 year old wanting to play ponies and tea party and stuff. It’s exhausting for seemingly such simple stuff. For me, though, it’s just how boring it can be when it’s like 10 hours straight. This is one reason I could never be a SAHM even if I had the option. Something would die inside of me if I was reduced to spending 24/7 at the beck and call of little people.

cloudiah
9 years ago

So glad to hear you’re all doing well, even if exhausted. If you need us to post entertaining videos of certain genres, or anything else, let us know. The manboobzarmy is at your service! 😀

lauralot89
9 years ago

Wait…so we had a thread on Halloween that didn’t involve trolls showing up to call us all sluts in skimpy costumes that are asking for it?

Is this the real life?

howardbann1ster
howardbann1ster
9 years ago

One of the things I’m confused on, though, is why fundamentalists actually think public schools would go against their beliefs. I was never taught anything about evolution until college. Any school books with evolution in them also had warning stickers that said “Evolution is only a theory” and to avoid controversy, we’d always skip those chapters. Our seventh grade teacher taught that dinosaurs never existed, and the dinosaur fossils in museums are actually pig bones. That was in public school, but it was also the 90′s so maybe things have changed since then.

Nononononono. If you DON’T MAKE THEM READ THE BIBLE EVERY DAY AND BEAT THEM IF THEY WON’T then you’re going against their beliefs and oppressing them.

And if you don’t make other people’s kids from other religions read the Bible every day, then you’re going against their beliefs and oppressing them.

And if you fail to indoctrinate the kids constantly into an authoritarian mindset, you’re… well, you get the picture.

BTW, Owly will not reply in any shape or form to any sort of religious discussion. I get the impression he won’t even read anything I say to him about the bible. I’ve tried multiple times.

See above about reading the bible his way, an authoritarian mindset, etc. etc.

Fitzy
Fitzy
9 years ago

In a week, she’s grown half an inch and is basically back up to her birth weight (which is kinda record breaking compared to most infants).

Duality, you’re right – that’s amazing for such a little one. You must have some magical milk (which would also explain why she wants to eat all the time). I’m glad everything is going so well. 🙂

EEB
EEB
9 years ago

Well, crap. All this time, I’d felt totally comfortable here as my vaguely-lesbian-mostly-asexual self. Apparently, I’m just part of a harem. *pout*

(Although, shouldn’t some of these people be happy to know that David is apparently running some sort of virutal ex-gay therapy program? It seems like they think Manboobz has a higher success rate than most of the ex-gay camps and progams I’ve heard of elsewhere…they should be giving him an award or something.)

pecunium
9 years ago

And, in her passive aggressive way, she is pontificating there, about what we are saying here.

pecunium
9 years ago

and 7Man can’t bother to reply in an independent comment, but tack his words on as a confusing epilogue.

He says I don’t understand the difference between condemning actions, and condemning people; with a snarky implication I’m not Catholic/Christian; appending the sad trope, “hate the sin, love the sinner”. He’s confusing the word condemn, with “hate”.

He’s also confused if he thinks saying people who do evil things isn’t condemning them.

nerdypants1
nerdypants1
9 years ago

Does anyone care about this any more? Well just in case anyone does, it turns out that:
1. CL is not using NFP because she wants another kid
2. She does believe that a husband who agrees to NFP will be more supportive of his wife e.g. if she falls ill.
3. She doesn’t believe that avoiding pregnancy while having sex is evil nor wrong, however I did get those answers by specifically framing NFP as ‘avoiding pregnancy’, so read that how you will.

(Also, if anyone can tell me if and why my penultimate comment pissed her off (it’s condescending to acknowledge that she’s a Catholic and I’m an atheist?) then that’d be great. For some reason it’s really bothering me that I don’t know what happened there. I’m hoping it’s just because I finally told that 7man arsehole to fuck off and she was offended on his behalf.)

AshleyDee
AshleyDee
9 years ago

My IUD separates me from cramps and bleeding and separates my husband from me calling and asking for him to pick up some tampons. I’ve been with holding my true crampy bitchy self from him for over a year now. It’s pretty awesome. Getting baby proofed was a revelation, no freaking out about missing a pill, or a ring going stray, wondering, am I late or who is stabbing my uterus with an invisible knife of cramping. Must be how guys feel, the whole baby-free sex any time of the month thing.

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