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Russell Brand deals the Feminist Conspiracy a serious setback. But Operation Alimony will prevail!

Uh oh! I just discovered this, currently the top story over on the Men’s Rights subreddit:

Yes, my sisters (and honorary mangina man-sisters), Russell Brand has dealt a severe blow to Operation Alimony, which (as you well know, at least if you’ve been attending the meetings) is our dastardly Feminazi plot to destroy the patriarchy by getting pretty ladies to marry and divorce rich dudes and take all their money.

You may remember our wild revelry when we heard that comrade-ess Heather Mills had walked off (no jokes please) with £24.3 million of Paul McCartney’s man money. And the joyful tears we shed when we heard that Mel Gibson’s ex-wife had (reportedly) scored a cool $425 million in her divorce settlement.

Russell Brand has just spotted a large pile of Katy Perry's money

But today, we shed only the bitterest of tears. We have not only been thwarted, but we’ve also been exposed! Damn those Men’s Rights Redditors and their evil allies at the Daily Mail!

The comments in the r/mensrights thread show that they understand our evil plans all too well. How can we respond to Aetheralloy’s withering critique?

Feminists see the absurdity of their own pushed polices?

LOL no. No they won’t. I’d sooner expect scientologists to ask their psychiatrist if they are in a cult.

But ladies! Do not despair! Russell Brand may have set back our efforts, but he, and his Reddit allies, shall not defeat us!

Ladies, you know what to do. Get yourself all prettied up, hit the town, and snag yourself some rich dudes! Let’s see how many of these guys we can have married off by the end of the year.

Marrying (and divorcing) rich dudes: it’s the feminist way!

 

I had a

624 replies on “Russell Brand deals the Feminist Conspiracy a serious setback. But Operation Alimony will prevail!”

Also, tl;dr version for the MRA types: Being a woman is always fun and easy! Women have no idea what real pain is like! Also, water is SUPER dry, the Pope is a practicing Hindu, and bears would never dream of defecating in forested lands! :-p

I’m nominally an easy-to-find size (36B-Cish) and I still have a terrible time finding things that actually fit right. I guess my distribution is off or something. The last time I got fitted, I couldn’t wear any of the bras in the size she said I was. The last bras I bought were from Victoria’s Secret. They are D cups. The idea that I am a D is laughable. I basically approach bra-buying like I do any other kind of clothes buying: the size on the label is only a vague guideline, and I still have to try everything on, sometimes in a selection of sizes, because it all depends on style and manufacturer.

But no way am I going to complain, because at least I’m able to buy bras in most stores, and wear most shirts I find, and not be squished or in pain or anything like that.

I kind of love that this has turned into a bra conversation. May I say, as a lurker, that I find the patience, humor, and intestinal fortitude of the people here really amazing? And I much prefer a conversation about bras to yet another round of women having to justify their preferences and experiences in a (mostly futile) attempt to prove that they’re not all shallow, stuck-up harridans.

Yeah, I’m not even trying to justify my preferences to our resident whiny college boy. We have officially passed the “let’s try to reason with him” stage and moved on to the “fuck you, kiddo – we’re taking it as a given that women have a right to choose their sexual partners however they want and moving on to the bit where we mock you for how pathetically self-centered you’re being” stage of the conversation.

I just typed a ridiculously long comment about corsets the fit and wearing thereof but don’t want to bore people with it if no one is interested. (Costumer Syndrome, please send help and/or pretty fabric.)

Bras are annoying and tiresome and I wore a C cup by the time I was twelve. These days I go to a very nice place that happily fits me and sells me 36H (without blinking) and has several colors in a variety of styles. NOT cheap, though.

I just typed a ridiculously long comment about corsets the fit and wearing thereof but don’t want to bore people with it if no one is interested. (Costumer Syndrome, please send help and/or pretty fabric.)

Corsets are awesome. Post away, please! 🙂

(Also, if anyone here happens to know where one can get custom-fitted corsets for less than hundreds of dollars, I would be exceedingly interested in hearing about such a thing. The boyfriend has a thing for corsets, and I’d love an excuse to get myself a pretty one for Valentine’s Day and surprise him, but the sort you can find in stores won’t fit me given the aforementioned “my boobs are way too big for my body” thing, and I’m a great deal too poor to treat myself to a $300+ item of lingerie anytime soon.)

If geeking about corsetry doesn’t interest you, this comment is eminently skippable.

Corset fitting can be- tricky. A properly fitting corset should NOT lace flat together, no matter if it laces front or back. There should be 1-1 1/2 inches of space between the edges at the waist level. This will, for most women, result in a sort of hourglass shaped opening in at the lacing. It can be best accomplished with two laces, one from the top to the waist and one form the bottom up to the waist then the two laces tied off together. You can get the proper spacing with one lace but it’s trickier and generally will need an extra set of hands.

That space is called ‘spring’. A corset that laces flat ie completely closed is too big. If it is a lot too big it shifts about at the waist, doesn’t offer support to the bust and can be pretty uncomfortable. If it’s only a little too big it fits tighter at the waist but smashes everything else and is really uncomfortable. Spring is what allows a corset-wearer to breathe and move.

Ideally you put on your corset (over a shift or camisole, please, to protect the corset from body oils and sweat) then take a bit of time to do something else- brush your hair, read some email, whatever- allowing the corset fabrics to warm with your body temp then tighten the laces to your preferred cinching. Some corsets come with a back lacing and a front fastening of metal tabs (a busk)- this allows you to ‘set’ the lacing at the back then get out of the corset after wearing without undoing all the lacing again. If you are routinely going to be getting into your corset without assistance this can be really useful.

Corsets come in different strengths. Fashion or lingerie corsets are generally lighter weight materials, with little boning (often plastic). These are just for pretty, they won’t significantly alter your shape or provide much support. A middle of the line corset will be made of heavier materials and the boning will almost certainly be metal though it may not be in all the seams. This will give you more hold and support but are not meant to reduce the waist to Scarlett O’Hara size- it will be unpleasant for the wearer and can warp or damage the garment.

Waist training corsets are, frankly, outside my experience and generally not of interest to the sometime corset wearer.

Underbust corsets are a nice option for the generously endowed lady who cannot afford an entirely bespoke corset.

I have generally have good luck in talking with corset makers (ren faires and sf cons are your friend!) when it comes to getting a good fit off the rack. So to speak. Likewise there are many patterns and supply houses out there for the woman with a sewing machine or a friend who sews.

Things to remember when first wearing a corset- you won’t bend in the middle anymore. Allow for this in planning what you wear. There’s nothing like that moment when you have successfully gotten into your corset without help only to realize you should have put your shoes on first. Also, you have NO IDEA how much of what you do every day assumes you will bend at the waist. Your posture will become instantly perfect because slouching is not possible. Getting up and down from very low chairs is a hassle. Don’t lace tightly after eating, it’s not a pleasant sensation. And most importantly- don’t wear a corset if you don’t want to, it’s 2012 and the undergarment police have moved on with their lives.

And the best thing about 2012 is I can like to wear a corset sometimes and still tell misogynistic jerks to take a hike.

This bra size talk is so empowering!

At any rate, I owe certain folks here an apology. I am so very sorry that I refused to validate your poor self-images. (If it makes you feel any better, I also was subjected to myriad abuse throughout my life. But I got to a point where I refused to put up with it anymore. So sorry if that makes me sound ‘superior.’)

Meanwhile, please enjoy this link:

http://www.power-surge.com/php/asktheexperts/viewQa.php?id=21988

Goodbye and good luck. You are going to need it.

So what, Alphalady, you think your mistake before was not being condescending enough? You had to ramp it up? Classy.

So very sorry for being “condescending.” My bad for not having a poor self-image, which (ironically) the MRAs would just love!

P.S. — “Dracula” is a most apt moniker!

Those exclamation points…the blue gravatar…the inability to understand that one’s viewpoint is not everyone’s viewpoint…the antiquated language…

Lady Meller, is that you?

Alphalady, that is the lamest site I have seen in a long time. But good to know the “expert” gives you such comfort when you tell him all about those meanie feminists on the internet.

And really, alpha+lady? Ew.

Now, back to bra sizes.

I had a big MRAL response about the importance of seeking friendships–JUST friendships, totally platonic & without ulterior motives–with women, or at the very least, friendships with guys who have a mixed gender group of friends, but honestly? I’d rather talk bras and bra-sizing fuckery.

Behold, the only online bra size calculator that gives me my REAL bra size, as determined by the expensive, boutique bra shop + much trial-and-error: http://www.atlastravel.nazwa.pl/mini/

Even if you think you know your bra size, you might want to plug in your measurements and see what you get.

@need to know

That was awesome. I’ve always wondered this: do you know if your average, ren-faire corset maker would be able to construct a boring, old-school, long-line bra with boning in a plain fabric? Something like this, but less buckles and straps: http://www.corsetiere.net/Spirella/Corsetieres.htm

Despite being so restrictive, corset-type lingerie might do wonders for my aching back and shoulders by distributing some of that bust support, but I need actual cups and I don’t need it to be sexy so much as functional…

Pretty ironic putting scare quotes on that word when you’re using it in the middle of a smug, sarcastic phony apology.

Yes, yes, it’s all about you. We’re so silly and just can’t appreciate you. Bunch of gloomer-doomers, or idealogues, or whatever we are. We explained what our problem was, and you know damn well it’s not about “your bad for not having a poor self-image.”

Or, hey, maybe what you put into “not paying attention to other people’s criticisms” is coming back your way! Whoooooaaahhh…

@Lauralot:

Does the site say “Think your way to a fluffy tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”?

At any rate, I owe certain folks here an apology. I am so very sorry that I refused to validate your poor self-images. (If it makes you feel any better, I also was subjected to myriad abuse throughout my life. But I got to a point where I refused to put up with it anymore. So sorry if that makes me sound ‘superior.’)

seriously though fuck you. You realize you just blamed victims for their own abuse right?

@Shadow

“@Lauralot:

Does the site say “Think your way to a fluffy tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”?”

*DIES LAUGHING. LITERALLY MAY DIE. AM CHOKING NOW. HAH!*

It’s good to know that being picked up by the throat and slammed into a door by my father at age four was my fault for putting up with it! And that my mom walked around on crutches for weeks because she put up with her husband slamming her into walls! Thanks for that, Alphalady.

No no, jumbofish, it’s just that there’s a lot of gloomy gusses out there who have a victim mentality and want people to validate their poor self-image! Really! It’s true! So they get all angry at somebody who won’t do that, and just mentions that you can be positive instead! Because that’s totally what just happened!

Lauralot, Yup, just as even though I guess I finally had enough and stopped putting up with the abuse (WHAT TOOK ME SO LONG LOL IT WAS SO SIMPLE), my depression and pstd is just negative thinky vibes. If I was positive enough they’d go away!

It’s my fault my babysitter repeatedly hit me when I was two! I should have just walked right on out of her house and back home!

The things you learn.

Between MRAL thinking that I’m arrogant because I have some hot exes and I don’t want to fuck Russell Brand, and wolfie lady thinking that I must have low self esteem because I don’t like victim-blaming woo, today has been rather a confusing day.

If this provokes an identity crisis I’m sending you guys the therapy bill. Just so you know.

Hey Alphalady, have you thought that maybe that if you aren’t getting the reception here that you want, it’s because you aren’t being positive enough? Maybe you should work harder to take the bull by the horns and overcome our negativity. Or maybe the universe just doesn’t want us to listen to your ideas!!!

So does the positive thinking also work retroactively? If you live in an impoverished country and your mother dies at birth and your father died earlier and you are born with permanent health problems due to malnourishment, can you undo that with thinking, or were your parents supposed to positive-think your life into being good before you were born?

If I think positive now will it bring my mother back to life?

(OK, now I’m getting a bit feisty.)

It is so unbelievably sad that someone would receive such hostile reactions for encouraging people to have positive self-esteem. What was I thinking?

What was I thinking?

Obviously whatever it was you were thinking was not adequately positive! Otherwise none of this would have happened, right?

Oh alphalady, what terribly negative feelings must you be holding on to in order to provoke such a negative response from others? Something very bad seems to be being reflected back at you. What kind of energy could you be sending out to provoke such a reaction?

You should meditate on it.

Boy, this thread has been like a really long movie with about three different surprise endings, and probably a few more to come!

It is so unbelievably sad that someone would receive such hostile reactions for encouraging people to have positive self-esteem. What was I thinking?
You are like: All you people with self esteem issues can NEVER have a healthy relationship!! Also if you are abused it is your own fault since you were just thinking positively enough!!!

Any questions now why people are so hostile to those two assertions?

Let put this in a way you’ll understand: I’m so sorry for being “hostile” to you. It’s not like anything you’ve said has been “insulting” or “arrogant”.

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