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>Bangkok Girl: Looking Behind the Fantasy of the Nubile, Pliable Non-Western Woman

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From foreignwomenonly.blogspot.com

It’s a commonplace fantasy amongst a certain kind of American man: to abandon a world filled with “picky,” “demanding,” “angry” women, infected with feminism and a sense of entitlement, to find paradise in the arms of a nubile, pliable, and above all grateful woman from an exotic place like Thailand, the Philippines, or Eastern Europe.

Not surprisingly, many Men’s Rights websites and forums are filled with angry rants about American (or more broadly, Western) women. “Western men have now had plenty of evidence over recent years of what western wimmin have become as a result of feminist  indoctrination and media propaganda,” writes Ledburian, a regular on the AntiMisandry.com message boards. “I reckon it would be a good idea for all western wimmin to be forced to carry tattoos on their foreheads warning all men that they can be a serious threat to male wealth and well being.”

Meanwhile, the “fun bachelor” behind foreignwomenonly.blogspot.com, a site whose URL conveniently encapsulates its message, assures his anxious readers that paradise is within reach of any Western man with a passport: “Date Foreign Women Only, and be treated like a king.”

The reality, of course, is far more sordid and depressing than the fantasy: The reason that some Eastern women are more agreeable to Western men has less to do with culture than it does with economics. Women in the west have more options, and so are less willing to put up with crap from Western men; women in countries where many if not most people are living in abject poverty may decide that putting up with disagreeable Western men is slightly less of a bad bargain than working a poverty-wage job and living in a shithole.

Recently, I watched a sad, powerful short documentary called Bangkok Girl (also known as Falang: Behind Bangkok’s Smile), a portrait of a bar girl in a city overrun with sex tourists from all over the developed world. The whole thing is worth watching — it’s available for instant watching on Netflix and on YouTube — but one scene stood out in particular for me: a street inverview with a drunken British expat who puts his arms around Pla, the girl at the center of the documentary, and declares to the camera that she’s his “girlfriend.” (She’s not.)

It’s immediately and abundantly clear that she wants nothing to do with the creepy lout — but he’s a regular at the bar and she’ll lose her job if she rebuffs him.  He’s either completely oblivious to her obvious discomfort, or he simply doesn’t give a shit. This is what “paradise” really looks like, to anyone really paying attention. Watch the scene here.

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wanderer
11 years ago

>That may be part of it, but it's just as likely women from "third world" cultures really do treat the men in their lives better. Many folks say that even female immigrants from non-western cultures (Bangladesh, Japan, and Africa, among other places) are nicer even when they're doctors or educated people who can take care of themselves. Anecdotal evidence? Sure. But no less anecdotal than a sob story from a single documentary.

Nick
11 years ago

>It's funny that David's weak defence against this is only an example of Bar Girls lol.It's not like that anyone is forcing these women to be in such terrible situations. But human trafficking/sexual slavery is a different story. As if 99 percent of western men would want anything to do with sexual slavery.I lived in the Philippines for a few years. It is true that women from such a country are generally more laid back and don't have the superior feminist influenced attitudes like many western women have today. My brother is married to a doctor who he met in the Philippines. She is far from being anyone submissive and yet she doesn't go on with the same BS that western women do.Bar women may be somewhat submissive, but Asian women in general are not submissive. People will accuse western men for only wanting submissive women if they choose Asian women over western women. This accusation is a load of crap. People who use this accusation are trying to deny the fact that these certain western men are just simply fed up with the superior feminist influenced attitudes many western women have in this generation.

David Futrelle
11 years ago

>Did you actually watch the clip?

Marissa
11 years ago

>It's not like that anyone is forcing these women to be in such terrible situations.No, it's not like anyone is forcing them. Just the social and economic conditions of the country they were born in. Seriously, what a weird comment. People will accuse western men for only wanting submissive women if they choose Asian women over western women. … People who use this accusation are trying to deny the fact that these certain western men are just simply fed up with the superior feminist influenced attitudes many western women have in this generation.It's funny how you frame those two justifications as being opposed to one another when really, they're exactly the same. From The New York Times:"Thai women are a lot like women in America were 50 years ago," said [54-year-old Joseph Davis of Fresno, California, who is married to 30-year-old Nui Davis], before they discovered their rights and became "strong-headed and opinionated." "The women now know they are equal," said Mr. Davis, a retired Naval officer who has been divorced twice, "so the situation is not as relaxed and peaceful as it is between an American and a Thai lady."

wanderer
11 years ago

>Here's a question for you, Marissa: Why *shouldn't* we want "submissive" women?Not trolling–I know there are guys out there who don't care much for those kinds of girls. For those of us who do, however, why, exactly, should we feel any differently?

Marissa
11 years ago

>I don't give a shit about what you want. What matters is that people treat each other with respect. Assuming that a woman has no opinions because she's financially dependent on you, as the guy in the article seems to assume, is not indicative of a respectful relationship.

Nick
11 years ago

>Marissa "Seriously, what a weird comment."What's weird about it? It's perfectly simple, its not the men's fault. These women choose to degrade themselves, so the logical thing to do is to blame these women and don’t portray it as the evil of men."It's funny how you frame those two justifications as being opposed to one another when really, they're exactly the same."How so? Please explain in logical detail

wanderer
11 years ago

>Oh, really? And why, pray tell, should we give a shit about respect? Because you think it's important? Yeah, well, you don't give a shit about what we want, we don't give a shit about what you want. Fair play and all.

Nick
11 years ago

>wanderer does make a point. But I am not going to generalise and paint the same brush on every western woman.Many of today's western women expect men to hand them everything they want on a silver platter. Or in other words, woo them/impress them in an exaggerated manner. It seems to be a trend for many western women to have this attitude in the ways of believing they are a winning prize while men who are below that worth in their eyes have to win the said prize.But if males had such strong expectations and the same type of attitude towards women, it would be considered as chauvinism.This is where the respect part comes into it. The attitude from women I expressed above is not showing respect for men, it’s placing men below them. Yet, these same women jump up and down and demand respect from men.

Anonymous
11 years ago

>Sucking up to the feminists won't get you laid. Maybe by a fat single mother, but that's about it.Seriously, I don't waste my time debating with those with less intelligence than myself, so I just leave hit and run comments like this.You probably sit down to pee too.

Marissa
11 years ago

>@NickIt's perfectly simple, its not the men's fault. These women choose to degrade themselves, so the logical thing to do is to blame these women and don’t portray it as the evil of men.It's hardly a choice. They're in a desperate situation, others are exploiting that.And the feminists I know would get pretty pissed off if you tried to "hand them" anything. @ wandererYou're like a child pouting, "what about MEEEE!" You need someone to take the time to explain to you how treating other with dignity benefits you? That's sad. I hope you interact with very few people in real life.

wanderer
11 years ago

>"You need someone to take the time to explain to you how treating other with dignity benefits you?"I dunno, if what guys like Joseph Fresno is doing is "disrespectful" and "undignified," he seems pretty happy despite it. Maybe it really doesn't benefit anybody as much as you claim. If observing that makes me 'childish,' I think I quite like being a child. In any case, Mr. Futrelle still hasn't refuted the claim that even women from non-Western cultures who aren't impoverished (ranging from wealthy immigrants from counties like Bangladesh or the Phillipines to women from well-developed places like Japan or Singapore) are much preferable to many men. What's the "economic" explanation for those girls?

Anonymous
11 years ago

>Ughhh poor girl. Thank you for posting this.

ScareCrow
11 years ago

>Economics does have something to do with it.Race also plays a part. Filipino women find white skin desirable – hair color other than brown, and eye color other than brown.However, culture plays a very important role here too – it is a fact that in other cultures, women are raised to respect men – or at least, they are not raised to despise men."It's immediately and abundantly clear that she wants nothing to do with the creepy lout"The only way to know this is if she openly SAYS she does not feel comfortable around him.It is a fact that in many Asian cultures, public displays of affection are considered "indecent".You are making assumptions about how this woman feels towards him.Interesting assumptions that do not reveal anything about the woman's character or emotions – but rather – yours…Set yourself free manboobz…

David Futrelle
11 years ago

>Scarecrow: She CANNOT say anything. She would lose her job if she did. If after watching that clip you think she might actually be into the dude, you are either more oblivious than the guy in the clip. Wanderer: I'm supposed to "refute" the fact that some men prefer asian women even when they're not impoverished? Obviously some do. In some cases it's a simple matter of taste, or of an interest in Asian culture; in other cases it's tied up with fantasies about their supposed submissiveness, fantasies that may have absolutely no connection with the personalities of the women they're attracted to, who are often far from submissive. What I'm talking about in this post is the whole "go to Thailand and be treated like a king" mentality. I'm talking about sex tourists. I guarantee you that almost every western man seen trolling the streets of Bangkok for prostitutes in this documentary would offer an elaborate rant on why western women are too stuck up, etc, if asked.

wanderer
11 years ago

>Actually, I was referring specifically to this statement:"The reason that some Eastern women are more agreeable to Western men has less to do with culture than it does with economics."No, it if was purely or even mostly "economic," Western men wouldn't extoll the virtues of economically secure Asian women as well. To be charitable to you, I won't say economics (or taste, Asian culture, etc.) is entirely irrelevant, but you simply haven't made a convincing argument against the fact that many Western men, rightly or wrongly, feel the foreign women simply aren't as bitchy and hard to deal with as Western women, *even when they're economically secure enough to be as choosy as Western women.*"I guarantee you that almost every western man seen trolling the streets of Bangkok for prostitutes in this documentary would offer an elaborate rant on why western women are too stuck up, etc, if asked."I'm not sure I'd bet on it, but if it makes you feel better to believe that, go ahead.

ScareCrow
11 years ago

>@David.Sorry, as I pointed out – displays of affection in public can be considered "indecent" in those cultures.In Britain however, such displays are not "indecent".You are still making an assumption about why she had the said expression on her face.Prove to me that it was not her cultural programming of: "public displays of affection are indecent" that made her put such a look on her face.Also, prove to me that she would lose her job if she did.You are making assumptions. However, in all fairness, I will view it again.Please let me know which one it is in (1-4) – and give me a time index.

David Futrelle
11 years ago

>Wanderer: Maybe I overstated that point in the piece. Obviously culture plays a role (though again, a lot of western men are reacting less to culture than to stereotypes; they are still projecting a fantasy onto Asian women). I will come back to this issue in later points, because this "western women suck" stuff is so pervasive on MRA blogs/forums/youtube.

Nick
11 years ago

>Tell me where western men point out that they want Asian women for long term because they are submissive?Sexpats looking for some fun on a holiday doesn't count, David. Your whole laughable argument on this is aimed at all western men only wanting bar girls.I find it laughable how brainwashed feminist minded people like you David automatically assume that western men want Asian women because they want someone submissive.Wanderer has already refuted that ridiculous claim. When I lived in the Philippines, I saw western men everywhere dating Asian women with good careers and high intelligence. These women were not dependant on a man to get by.Secondly, western men in general prefer Asian women because they generally have more respect for men. Speaking of respect, this does not mean submissiveness. If you are going to compare the term "respect" into “submissiveness”, why doesn't the same apply to western women when they demand respect? What an awful double standard.Western culture these days is poisoned by feminist propaganda that raises women to have contempt and superior attitudes towards men. This is what these certain western men are avoiding when they prefer Asian women in other cultures.

David Futrelle
11 years ago

>Nick — Guys learn pretty quickly that if they say they like Asian women because they're submissive(or because they think Asian women are submissive), people will consider them douchebags. So they say things like "respectful" instead. If you look at the things the western-women-haters say about western women, many of those things invariably involve their frustration when western women stand up for themselves. Again, not all western men who like Asian women are driven by retrograde fantasies, but many are. Scarecrow: The link at the bottom of the post should take you to the correct point in the video. If not, it's 4:53 into the 4th segment.

Nick
11 years ago

>Yes of course your stance is either that all western men only want bar girls or all Asian women, even the educated ones are submissive.Rolls eyes"Again, not all western men who like Asian women are driven by retrograde fantasies, but many are."You mean the sexpats? Of course.

Nick
11 years ago

>"Guys learn pretty quickly that if they say they like Asian women because they're submissive(or because they think Asian women are submissive), people will consider them douchebags. So they say things like "respectful" instead. "Why doesn't this apply to western women who aggressively demand respect from men?Why the double standard? Why are men only raised in suspicion of seeking submission and not women when it comes to wanting respect? Isn't that a biased point of view?

David Futrelle
11 years ago

>You don't think western women deserve respect?The point here is that the retrograde Asian-fetishist guys I'm talking about here are using the word "respect" to mean something very different than what western women are "aggressively demanding"; they are using it essentially as a more polite and more poltically correct way to say "submissive," "traditional," and all that stuff.

Nick
11 years ago

>"You don't think western women deserve respect?"Yes, western women deserve respect. But ONLY the ones who are willing to give respect in return. Unlike the example in that picture in the original post. And/or loudly boasting out that I am a strong woman who doesn't need men, you have to treat me as a superior princess, all men are evil until proven otherwise BS is not respecting men as a gender."The point here is that the retrograde Asian-fetishist guys I'm talking about here are using the word "respect" to mean something very different than what western women are "aggressively demanding"; they are using it essentially as a more polite and more poltically correct way to say "submissive," "traditional," and all that stuff." Can you please back this up with some proof and logic instead of using a warped feminist theory to demonise men from an invisible position?Just giving an example of a minority of men who hang around red light districts is a very weak argument. It's truly pathetic.

David Futrelle
11 years ago

>Nick –You do realize that the woman in the picture is not actually saying all of those things, right, that all that "bitch princess" stuff is just a caption some dork added to a picture on the internet? I've never met a woman like that in real life ever and I suspect you haven't either. Do you get equally indignant at all the cheezeburger-demanding lolcats out there? Anyway, no, I can't prove that the guys I'm talking about are using the word "respect" in the way I'm saying, but you can't prove they aren't, either. Impasse!

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