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Incels: The Powerpoint challenge

It occurred to me, while browsing around Incels.is earlier today, that a lot of incel posts would be a little less depressing to contemplate if they took the form of powerpoint presentations.

Here’s a post from today, in which an incel calling himself Subhuman Niceguy attempts, in his way, to explain “What have been the benefits of the Sexual Revolution.” You’ll have to forgive his antisemitism, his mentions of suicide, and a reference to the so-called dogpill; he’s an incel.

*Kikes get rich, because the nuclear family has been destroyed, everyone needs an apartment to live in.

*Cops get rich, because little delinquent children join gangs because their dads are losers.

*Doctors and therapist get rich, lots of suicide attempts and people needing shrinks to talk to.

*Pet shops get rich, because people need dogs to fuck.

*Bars get rich, “might as well get drunk – nobody likes me”.

*Mortuaries get rich, because suicide seems like the only option left.

Wouldn’t it be a little more tolerable if the commenter had turned all his bullet points into powerpoint slides?

Hence the Incel Powerpoint Challenge: Take the weirdest of incel comments and concepts — like the one above, or one that you might find in the archives here — and turn them into terrible powerpoint slides.

I sort of got started with the graphic at the top of this post, but I know you can do it better than that.

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50 replies on “Incels: The Powerpoint challenge”

I don’t understand people that buy pets. ever pet I’ve ever had I got because someone’s dog had puppies or I found them on the side of the road

Another school shooting, Oxford, Mi.
3 children killed, 8 others wounded 🙁

@Special Frog:
It’s part of the MicroCrap Suite Of Unlearnable, Unusable products

This sounded like a great idea, make lemons from lemonade. But the thought of looking up some of their statistics (to even remember them) was just god awful depressing. Thank goodness for Dave.

Yes, life was so much better when women had even more difficulty making a living than they do now and so were forced to marry men. Let’s bring back those days. I can tell that these incels — who have many, many interesting theories about women, men, sex, sexism, the economy, looksism, their own parents, violence, cultures and politics in the USA and worldwide, and the general unfairness of life — would have no problem supporting a wife and family.

I’d prefer a list of how to prevent incels and misogyny. I thin boys need to be educated about the fact that girls and women are actually (shockingly) human and deserving of the same respect as men. I’m sick to death of all the hate. Men who aren’t incels or MRAs often seem to hate the very people they’d like to have a relationship with.

Men who aren’t incels or MRAs often seem to hate the very people they’d like to have a relationship with.

Sad but true.

@Elaine

It’s weird in England because my mum often tells me that when she was young getting a puppy was easy – her childhood dog had a few rounds of puppies (it was an endless source of envy as a child who was not allowed a dog when she told tales of opening up the airing cupboard to find a batch of newborn puppies in there) and there was always a man in a pub who had a few to offload. She also said they used to let their dog out in the morning to play with the other dogs on their council estate and it would come back for lunch, which is very odd to me – the idea of packs just running wild, living their best life.

But anyway, that was a tangent. For some reason now you only find puppies outside of rescue centres when they are deliberately bred for sale and they are MEGA expensive. I’ve not heard of anyone picking up a free mongrel from non-charity sources in about twenty years. No idea why.

@Elaine The Witch

The most sensible reason to buy a dog is the dog being bred for a specific job(searching, herding, hunting), yeah.

@LollyPop

They are mega expensive AND they are still no healthier than random mixed breeds 🙁
Irresponsible breeding, folks 🙁

@MV96

Yeah it’s awful, my uncle was gifted a cockapoo early in the craze for them by his son in law and the poor little thing almost died due to digestive problems caused (probably) by poor conditions. They couldn’t prove anything but they are fairly certain the apparently kind and reputable breeder the dog was bought from was just a front for a large puppy mill behind the scenes.

Luckily he survived and is an endless source of joy, as the quirks of breeding have meant that rather than a medium-sized, well behaved, poodle-temperamented cockapoo, they have ended up with a cocker spaniel, except enormous.

@LollyPop, over here in the San Joaquin Valley it’s not unknown for people to hang around the front of the local WalMart with puppies to give away. I helped a buddy of mine give away kittens at the local Target a few months ago.

@LollyPop
“Cockapoo” isn’t even a recognised breed, so the best case scenario would have been that two owners wanted to mix their dogs just “for fun”(which wasn’t at first even what you thought was yours).
You got the worst case scenario.

*Pet shops get rich, because people need dogs to fuck.

Excuse me, what the actual fuck? Are we just gonna gloss over this? Was the sole purpose of this post just to justify beastiality?

@Diego

I think the OP is accusing all the women of buying all the dogs, because they think women have large dogs solely for the purposes of yikes.

Which isn’t really any better… but at least the people that are buying the dogs are not actually doing what he thinks they’re doing?

Still, sounds like a dude who needs to never be around either women or dogs.

Because yikes.

@Elaine The Witch

Every time that I have bought a pet at a pet store, it was because I made the mistake of looking at the guinea pig pen and fell in love with one.

Excuse me, what the actual fuck? Are we just gonna gloss over this? Was the sole purpose of this post just to justify beastiality?

You seem new to incels. They have this obsession with bestiality, almost as much as they are into pedophilia.

You do realize a lot of the reason for purposeful breeding of disabling deformities into show-quality animal strains: conspicuous consumption and conspicuous waste. A German shepherd with a banana back and the resulting hip dysplasia isn’t going to be chasing sheep; a Persian cat with a concave face isn’t there to catch mice.

(By contrast: here’s YouTube animal groomer Vanessa De Prophetis—AKA The Girl With The Dogs—and her client of the day, a German Shepherd from a kennel devoted to producing working dogs; tell me Vantablack doesn’t look like she’s about to guide you on an epic fantasy quest:

@MV96

Agreed. the only time my family had a pure breed dog was because they were one of my dad’s hunting dogs. I got to name one when I was older. Named her Katie. she was the last hunting dog my dad ever got because hunting got to hard on him so Katie really became a pet. I remember though, she went into her first heat before we could get her fixed. That was an experience. we had to keep her pinned up so that none of the male dogs that were around could get her. Neighbors down yonder had a Mastiff. his name was butch and he like camped out around her pen, peeing on everything, really tried to just wait it out until we let her out of the pen. Funniest thing I ever saw one day was a poodle, not a small one, just a regular size poodle, walking down the dirt road. he took a turn, went into our back yard. Saw ol butch standing there by the pen and just went “…nah I’m good” turned back around and walked the other way. It amazed me because normally two male dogs will kill each other to get to a female in heat.

@ full metal ox

Here’s some relevant words from Scooby Doo designer, Iwao Takamoto:

The Great Dane was supposed to be the biggest dog around … and there was a woman [at the studio] who actually bred and reared Great Danes. So, she came over, and spent a solid hour describing all of the positive things that makes a prize-winning Great Dane. And I selected about five things, I think, and went in the opposite direction. For instance, a good, strong straight back, so I sloped his back. A strong chin, so I under-swung his chin … and I think straight hind legs she mentioned. So I bowed them …

https://www.pngkit.com/png/detail/76-760470_scooby-doo-walking-scooby-doo-dog-cartoon.png

Working dogs are awesome. Kind of one of the reasons Alaskan huskies are one of my favorite bits of nerdery.

They aren’t a “breed” and they have extreme phenotypic variability with respect to appearance, outside a few key traits.

But behaviorally and genetically, when you look at some of the more established mushing kennels? They’re about as tight as any legit recognized breed.

Cool dogs. Not for people who aren’t willing/able to do a lot of exercise, unless you get one of the rare couch potato floofs (which exist but are so rare).

But good dogs. Working dogs and mutts all the way!

But not in the way incels think because NO. Ew. No. Nope.

I always used to buy ‘working dog’ dog food for Sas because there’s no VAT on it.

I felt really she should read a bit of Marx to qualify, or at least get a flat cap or something. But luckily the Revenue didn’t seem to check up on such things.

Kitties. My husband brought two cats to the marriage, both of them foundlings, both of whom had long and relatively happy lives with us. (One of them was very shy, but he took to me and thus stopped trying to timidly compete with the other cat for my husband’s attention.)

About a year after we married, we adopted my Sneakagirl from one of the local shelters, in part because she was the only black kitty of her litter and everybody else had already been adopted, so she needed to come home with us, obviously.

Then we acquired a cute lil’ tuxedo kitty who showed up on our porch one morning, about 3 months old, a pound underweight, crying desperately to be taken care of. We found out later from a neighbor that SOMEONE (who deserves to sleep on a bed of jumbled Legos FOREVER) had dumped a box full of kittens a few days before our little guy joined our family.

Not long after that, we acquired Little Miss Stripey, who was a rough tough 6-month-old, who caught sight of me while I was getting the newspaper. She was apparently the runt of her litter, and she’d been on her own for a while, judging by the state of her paws. She had a semi-feral streak all her life, but she adored Mr. Parasol until the very end.

Most recently we said goodbye to the fluffy black kitty who stole my husband’s heart on a trip to the pet store – that store regularly provides space to local shelters so that cats can be adopted. Mr. Parasol called me from the store and explained that there was a black fluffy kitty suckling a corner of the carpet square in his cubicle, and we took him home that night.

Right now we’re down to the Smolder Twins, two grey shorthaired brothers born to Isis, a cat adopted by a friend who found her wandering around his neighborhood … and the day before he was going to take her in to be spayed, he discovered she was an Unwed Teenage Mother. All four of her cats were adopted – we got the boys, and two other friends got the girls.

We love each and every one of them, even the ones who are no longer here.

@The Dark Avenger

If people handed out kittens at my local supermarket I’d have a houseful. And would swiftly be evicted, so perhaps it’s for the best that isn’t an option!

@MV96

Ah that’s interesting. It looks like loads of the new fashionable hybrid breeds aren’t recognised.

@full metal ox

Completely agree. I always think of Hogarth’s painting of his pug. That looks like a dog that can breathe, unlike the purebred modern ones people spend thousands of pounds on.

@Full Metal Ox

Poor Vantablack is SO well-behaved there, but she clearly does NOT like having her ears bound.

Why do these dreadful people have to bring pets into the discussion? I love dogs, cats and birds. (Though I have a distinct preference for cats). I have a sweet little gray and orange kitten who bites my hands, devours all the food I give her, purrs like crazy when I pet her, and sleeps cuddled up with me all night and puts her little paws over my hands so we are literally holding hands. Please stay away, incels!

PowerPoint has never improved anything. It only makes things worse, even if they were good to begin with.

Nobody I know has bought a dog or cat in forever. The shelters and rescues are full of them for a very small adoption fee. Mutts are best. The cat who is currently whining at me for dinner was born in my backyard before the lady down the street finally managed to wrangle the alpha tomcat to get fixed and I trapped a bunch of them and took them to the shelter. We had a couple litters of kittens a year on the block for a bit. Probably not helped by the stereotypical old lady cat hoarder a few blocks away, but the cops and animal control finally dealt with that about the same time.

Many, but not all, people are better about getting their pets fixed nowadays. Shelters and rescues don’t let you have an animal till it’s fixed. It’s been years since I saw people at a store with a box of puppies or kittens. Vets get a lot of them dumped on their doorstep. You’re not allowed to sell animals from breeders in pet stores in California and a few other states, and some cities. A lot of chains have stopped selling warm-blooded critters. Even more places say no selling of dogs, cats, or rabbits. Fishies still ok.

@Alan: I love that cartoon! Especially panel #3.

@FM Ox: I used to know a lovely police dog. He was a Belgian Malinois (Belgian Shepherd, so a lot like German). So smart, and so sweet, and so tough when out grabbing guys who’d get out of reach of the police. He looked and sounded like an epic guardian when attacking, but off the leash he was a big ol’ goofy puppy. Very protective of his handler’s kids. He, naturally, wasn’t from a puppy mill and bred to show dog standards — he was from a supplier and trainer of police dogs. 10/10, would pet doggo again.

The problem with purebreds (dogs, cats, horses, people) is that their family tree don’t fork. Ruh-roh.

I talked about that my dog is named sandy after the orphan annie dog sandy. Because I was in Annie when I was a little girl at a local theater. Once, I talked about it once on tumblr with someone and now google will not stop giving me ads about “annie live” on nbc.

I was reading earlier about a cop who was arrested for sexually abusing his K9 partner and filming it. He also had child porn. If incels had any brains they’d realize it’s mainly men participating in beastality.

@Ninja

I’m willing to bet most cases of bestiality are done by a man or at least someone with a penis. This is gonna sound weird but remember I’m friends with a lot of dog breeders. Even with the biggest dogs like mastiffs or great Dane, they have small penises compared to that of a human male penis. And you know. dog Pensis are meant to go inside a dog vagina. they are meant to have sex with those of their own species. they don’t mix. logically wise, for many different reasons then just this one, there is no reason whatsoever for a woman to have sex with a dog when even the “smallest” of human male penises are going to be bigger then a great Dane penis. plus, human pensies, designed to go into human vagina and vice versa.

with domesticated animals the closes thing I can think of that would be closer to the size is a bull or a horse, but those would be to big for a human female vagina. (don’t tell me if some woman has fucked a horse or a bull, I don’t want to know).

That being said, human penis can go into other species vaginas. that doesn’t mean it’s good or that it isn’t going to cause hurt or kill the female animal. or even more so give the human man some weird disease he’s now going to past on to humans (looking at you Christopher Columbus with your syphilis you got from fucking lamas!).

so basically there is a reason for those jokes about goat and sheep fuckers because well, there have been creepy men that fuck a goat or sheep. I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole beasality thing was incels projecting because they all want to fuck ever bitch they see when they go to the dog park or something.

@ elaine

looking at you Christopher Columbus with your syphilis you got from fucking lamas!

You got me intrigued! You know how I look for any excuse to bang on about zoonotic diseases.

Apparently though it’s a myth. Not least because it now appears syphilis may have already existed in Europe pre-Columbus.

But you did lead me to some interesting llama related stuff; cheers!

[spoiler title=”More about llamas “] Journal of the European Academy of Dermatology & Venereology, 3 (1994) 97 Elsevier Science B.V. 97 DERVEN 00141 Forgotten theories The origin of syphilis and the llama myth The following is an extract from a presentation at the Seoul International Dermatology Symposium, Seoul, Korea, 8 May 1992. The history of syphilis is rampant with supposition, allegation and downright fabrication. The pre-Columbian theory suggests that human treponematosis originated from an ancient common treponema through genetic manipulation. The Columbian or New World theory states that syphilis was introduced into Europe on the return of Columbus in 1493. To support the New World theory, a story was spread that the llamas in Peru were responsible for spreading a treponematosis to man. These gentle animals were alleged to have difficulty in copulating. Men would assist them in the process, sometimes participating in bestiality [1-3], which has been depicted in the water jars (huacos) of the period [4]. Among the Incas, the fear of infection resulting from bestiality was so strong that Peruvian monarchs inflicted harsh punishments upon those who practised such bestial acts. There was a rule compelling men assisting the mounting to take their wives with them, and assigned the care of female llamas to women only. A man designated to assist the llamas in the mounting (so-called “the man who assist to whelp”) had to be marLawrence Charles Parish 1819 J.F. Kennedy Boulevard Philadelphia PA 19103, USA SSDI 0926-9959(93)E0069-W ried. In addition, in Peru, an ancient law existed which forbid unmarried men to keep female alpacas at home. The people who contracted “huanthi” (the local name for llama infection) through sexual relations with the llamas were considered a source of infection and sentenced to death. Despite such strict measures, llama bestiality frequently resulted in genital lesions on man. These were highly contagious. This theory is apparently incorrect, as the treponematosis affecting llamas is distinct and different from the human form. Moreover, experiments with infecting alpacas with Treponema pallidum have been unsuccessful [5]. Nevertheless, osteoperiostitis has been found in llama bones, there being no difference between that and the same process observed in man [4]. References 1 De napoli F. Sesso e Amore nella vita dell’uome degli altri Animale. Milan, Italy. Fratelli Bocca, 1942:937-938. 2 Jauregui F, Lancelotti L. Hacia la sueroterapia de la sifilis. Sem Med 1925;1:9-15. 3 Ashmead AS. On the question whether pre-Columbian syphilis in America originated by unnatural practices with female llamas. Am J Dermatol 1909;13:453-460. 4 Goldman L. Personal communication, 1992. 5 Fowler M.E. Medicine and Surgery of South American Camelids (Llama, Alpaca, Vicuna, Guanaco). Ames, IO. Iowa State University Press, 1989:128. Vincenzo Ruocco University of Naples Naples Italy [/spoiler]

@Alan Robertshaw

Thank you for doing that research so I didn’t have to, because I also was curious if that was the true origin of syphilis.

The fact that those laws existed speaks to some overwhelming problems with animal treatment. It’s right up there with burning cats on Guy Fawkes day.

@Big Titty Demon:

The fact that those laws existed speaks to some overwhelming problems with animal treatment. It’s right up there with burning cats on Guy Fawkes day.

See also these ASPCA ads; no actual violence toward animals is depicted, but the reader is invited to do the math:

http://theinspirationroom.com/daily/print/2006/12/aspca_bunny.jpg

http://theinspirationroom.com/daily/print/2006/12/aspca_cat.jpg

http://theinspirationroom.com/daily/print/2006/12/aspca-dog.jpg

@Full Metal Ox: I am always amused at the Olympics to see the fancy horses wearing little hats to keep noises and bugs out of their ears while they’re doing all their fancy stuff. They started out as just plain black, but every year they get more elaborate. This year some of them were bedazzled and had their national flag on them. Gaudiest? You guessed it, U!S!A!

@Alan: I was today old when I first heard that theory. But the fact that there were so many severe laws against it proves ancient Inca dudes were banging llamas. Probably Inca incels.

A man designated to assist the llamas in the mounting (so-called “the man who assist to whelp”) had to be marLawrence Charles Parish 1819 J.F. Kennedy Boulevard Philadelphia PA 19103, USA SSDI 0926-9959(93)E0069-W ried.

It had to be Mr. Parish of Philadelphia, PA? No one else would do?

Re: Incas “loving” llamas

Don’t take those stories at face value, the proof is all over the text: “The origin of syphilis and the llama myth“. “The history of syphilis is rampant with supposition, allegation and downright fabrication“. “This theory is apparently incorrect“. I investigated a bit here and there and I can offer specific comments, which I’ll try to keep as brief as possible:

“These gentle animals were alleged to have difficulty in copulating. Men would assist them in the process, sometimes participating in bestiality […] A man designated to assist the llamas in the mounting (so-called “the man who assist to whelp”)”

“Alleged”, indeed. Those old sources actually state the blatantly false fact that a male llama couldn’t penetrate a female on its own due to the angle of its penis, so the organ had to be guided into the vagina by human hands. That “man who assist to whelp“? More like “man who guard and keep two llamas in close quarters, waiting for them to fuck already, don’t be like those damn pandas please”.

[bestiality] which has been depicted in the water jars (huacos) of the period

I couldn’t find any pictures to back that up, instead I just found jars depicting regular llama-on-llama action. But even if those jars existed (missionaries tended to destroy such “sacrilegous” artifacts), there are reasons to believe that many of them were symbolic or represented specific ritual practices that were not a regular occurrence. As an aside, it was much, much more common to find jars depicting humans engaging in non-heteronormative sex (with the same caveats, though before the Spaniards imposed their mores in the Americas many of those were not so stigmatized anyway). In fact, I find it quite likely that the hypocritically prudish Europeans exaggerated the local population’s “depravity” in typical racist fashion, and so the “natives casually banging llamas” thing came about.

There was a rule compelling men assisting the mounting to take their wives with them, and assigned the care of female llamas to women only […] In addition, in Peru, an ancient law existed which forbid unmarried men to keep female alpacas at home.

Not so ancient. Continuing from above, at least some of such laws were actually put in place or influenced by the Spaniards according to their exaggerated beliefs.

The people who contracted “huanthi” (the local name for llama infection) through sexual relations with the llamas were considered a source of infection and sentenced to death.

“Huanthi” wasn’t just a word for “llama infection”, it was a generic term for deceases with syphilis-like symptoms. See above about that death sentence.

@alan

The creators of scooby doo actually did that because they figured a dog that no one wants is exactly the type of dog Shaggy roggers would adopt. because he could relate to that pretty hard.

Scooby doo is something I have… way to much knowledge about because it was has been my special interest/ hyperfixation for a long time,

@Full Metal Ox: Or rather, once Kasem went vegetarian Shaggy did too. Early shows still have Shaggy eating full omnivore.

@Nequam:

@Full Metal Ox: Or rather, once Kasem went vegetarian Shaggy did too. Early shows still have Shaggy eating full omnivore.

Thank you for the clarification; I grew up watching the show, but can’t count it among my hyperfixations.

(Thoughts on The Thirteen Ghosts of Scooby-Doo? On one hand, it broke the rules of the universe by introducing the genuine supernatural; but on another, it did give us Goth Eco-Activist Coven! Josie and the Pussycats.)

@Ox: On the one hand, Vincent Van Ghoul! On the other, Flim-flam, who may have been even more obnoxious than Scrappy, and with BOTH of them in the same show…!

@Full Metal Ox,

A theory I read on one of the TVTropes Scooby-Doo pages stated that in (some of) the SD universe(s), the supernatural not only exists, but has been proven to exist in there. Because otherwise how would the villian’s plan that boils down to ‘someone dresses as a ghost/monster to chase everyone else away from valuable land/objects’ be taken seriously in-universe by all the other inhabitants (including our heroes) unless ghosts and monsters that everyone is scared of really existed?

Meaning that while the adventures we the viewers see are of the gang revealing the frauds, there are cases we don’t see that the gang reveals as genuine. Which would make for an interesting twist on the usual storylines. Is the mystery of the week yet another fraud, or is it really…a ghost for once?

As for why dogs like the cockapoo aren’t considered breeds by organizations like the American Kennel Society, my understanding is that there has to be some (for lack of a better term) genetic stability in the lines before being counted as a breed. Like, if you breed two cockapoos together, would all the puppies have the same body as the parents or would some look like poodles and others like cocker spaniels? Because that’s a major reason why many designer breeds aren’t counted as ‘true’ breeds: they don’t breed true like how two poodles do. If/when designer breeders put in the time to ‘fix’ the desired physical traits in their dogs so they breed true, their designer dogs won’t be counted as real breeds by the dog show people at least.

At least that’s how I understand that situation anyway; things might have changed since I last read anything about that subject.

@ex-noob

do you want the canonical dog food version of scooby snacks or the made for human consumptions one?

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