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“Computer screens are draining your life force!” declares mystical semen retainer

Don’t let your life force drain out through your eyes!

Today we’re taking another peek into the Semen Retention subreddit, the hangout of some of the most intense NoFappers you can find online. In particular, we’re going to look at a post from someone called RealisticGarage, who has a warning for his semen-retaining brothers: your life force can’t just be drained from your johnson. It can also get drained through your eyes. So, you know, look out for that.

RealisticGarage starts with an invocation of assorted religions and philosophies that believe there’s a mysterious kind of inner energy that could be called the life-force, and this is what semen retainers try to keep from splooging out into the world when they masturbate.

“When we abstain from releasing our seed we start to accumulate a lot of life force energy,” RealisticGarage begins.

This is literary the breath of life. Chinese call it Chi energy, Japanese call it Ki, Indians call it Prana, in Christian mysticism it is called the Holy Spirit (“the breath of God”), Jews call it Ruach, ancient Egyptians called it Sekhem, etc. It’s there across many religions, cultures and times, so it’s a fundamental truth of nature.

We’ll just have to take his word for it, because the fact that a bunch of religions talk about something doesn’t prove that it’s real.

In occultism (shamanism, witchcraft, etc) black mirrors are used to look into past, future and present (very much the same way as crystal balls are used), but also as a way to communicate with angels, demons, dead ancestors, Jinn, etc.

Huh. I thought Dark Mirror was an excellent if sometimes enormously depressing science-fiction series.

They can be used to send and receive messages. They work like gateways into the etheric realm, very much the similar way as your computer screen works like a gateway into the digital realm.

Wait, what. I hope the etheric realms aren’t as filled with annoying popups and ubiquitous spam as is the “digital realm.”

Our computer screens, and screens of all devices, such as phones and tablets, are made so that they are black mirrors. Just turn one off and look at it; google picture of black mirror and compare.

Whoa dude you’re starting to freak me out.

Ever heard of evil eye (a hex somebody can put you on with simply a look)? Ever felt like somebody is staring at you, then you look there and indeed they are? Ever were upset as a child and all you needed to feel safe and calm was just one loving look from your mother? It’s because our eyes direct energy! Good or bad, depending from intention.

So when you sit there in lust and look at porn or Instagram you are directing some of your life force through your eyes into the black mirror. Then in goes into etheric realms.

Hey, but I needed that life force!

Energy does not just goes out through your seed alone! It goes out also through your eyes. And it goes where the intention goes. If you look with lust at some pornstar and ejaculate, your intention is sending that ejaculated energy into screen at her. If you dont ejaculate, just peek, you obviously dont lose as much, but you still lose a decent amount through your eyes.

So we’re basically spooging life force out our eyes?

But does that energy goes to that pornstar? Probabaly not. Most of these pornstars have not studied occult, so they dont know how to absorb and use that. If they would, they probably could add decades to their lifespan by stealing all this life force from their audience, like succubus. Most likely there is a succubus demon somewhere near her that is licking all that energy up.

Damn those succubi eating my life force!

But there are other entities who can grab that energy while it is within etheric realms. Or redirect it. Maybe these entities are even behind porn corporations. Billions of people are being milked energetically like cows.

So PornHub is some giant mystical special ops mission designed to steal your life force on behalf of demonic entities?

Sexual energy is one big way how to spill that energy through eyes. But so is watching many hours a day of Youtube videos simply cos you are bored. Or watching the news. Or some dumb gossip. None of that is as much of a loss as sexual energy, but trust me, it accumulates over time.

So, wait, should we just go around with blindfolds on to keep from losing life force by watching the news?

Maybe we should read more books. They are not made from black mirrors. And funnily enough neither are screens of eReaders…

Yeah but my tablet, which I use as an ereader, is a black mirror when it’s turned off. I guess I’m just screwed.

But the best of course is to look in the eyes of other people. If you do so with positive intent you can charge them up energetically. People will surround you like moths.

Huh. I’m not sure I even like moths surrounding me like moths, much less people.

But at the very least, stop peeking. And if you do happen to relapse, do it without [any] black mirrors near you. And put some blessing into your intention as you orgasm, not lust. Like that you can actually use energy released during orgasm for positive manifestation.

So if you think noble thoughts about feeding the world when you jerk off you can help prevent starvation?

Doesn’t that kind of negate the whole point of semen retention? I mean, if it’s better to spread your life force around the world shouldn’t you be ejaculating like ten times a day?

Mysticism is hard.

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Ohlmann
Ohlmann
11 months ago

@Tabby : the only example in your list that don’t seem to exist in the real world is Belgium AFAICT.

Note that “injectable nanite” look a lot less awesome when you call it by the proper name of “poop transfusion”.

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
11 months ago

IR and UV bands have been measured – and some animals (bees and butterflies in particular) should be able to see them quite clearly, assuming they bother to look up.

Some humans can see a teeny bit of an extra band at the UV end: if you look at a rainbow and the violet has a very dark edge – almost looks like a pencil line finishing off the arc – you’re one of them. That ability usually goes with exceptionally good night vision and some forms of colourblindness. Know one person who claimed to see a bit of a band before red, but she never could describe it well. “Glowy” isn’t much help!

I love this sort of stuff. Not that you could tell though. 😛

Ishtaritu
Ishtaritu
11 months ago

Lara Raith is a fictional character. The Dresden Files, the White Court of Vampires and the novel Blood Rites are all products of the imagination of Jim Butcher.

Waywatcher of the green
Waywatcher of the green
11 months ago

So this man’s world seems to operate according to Dark Souls logic, only with more semen.

“I’d better go and expend my accumulated lifeforce at a bonfire before I accidentally have a dream about ankles and waste it!”

So I guess the armies of mindless undead hollows are just a horde of undisciplined feckless cum-shedders by this logic? ?
I’m definitely over thinking this.

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
11 months ago

After a year and more of online work meetings and events, I think this dude may well have a point.

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
11 months ago

Jews call it Ruach

What the fuck?

NO WE DON’T.

First, we’re not all Kabbalists. Second, the Ru’ach isn’t “vital energy”. It’s much more like the Freudian superego. This is complete bullshit.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
11 months ago

Folks. I’ve got a gamergater trolling me on Twitter today. In 2021. What the fuck!?

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Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
11 months ago

@WWTH

Are you trolling them back? For ethics in twitter journalism?

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
11 months ago

Our computer screens, and screens of all devices, such as phones and tablets, are made so that they are black mirrors. Just turn one off and look at it; google picture of black mirror and compare.

Also, I just find this funny. How do I google photos of something with my screen off? Dude, do you even linear time?

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
11 months ago

Crip Dyke,

I’m working, so not really but if he’s still around in a few hours we’ll see. I’ll either troll back if he’s entertaining or block him if he’s not.

Dalillama
Dalillama
11 months ago

@Crip Dyke

First, we’re not all Kabbalists. Second, the Ru’ach isn’t “vital energy”. It’s much more like the Freudian superego. This is complete bullshit

Much as I hate to agree with the OP, he’s not wrong that Ru’ach is of a similar character to prana, baraka, chi, etc. in that all of them can literally be rendered into English as “breath” and/or “wind”, and possession of same is the defining quality of [human] life and the difference between a live body and a dead one. Once you get into the weeds, there’s various different curlicues and variations, but there is a universal truth that all these concepts recognize: people gotta breathe, and someone who isn’t breathing is dead. It’s not as deep or mystical a truth as a lotta folks want it to be, but it is true.

Alan Robertshaw
11 months ago

@ threp

Some humans can see a teeny bit of an extra band at the UV end

It’s very common that people who have cataract operations can then see further into the UV spectrum.

Proteins in the lens normally absorb the relevant frequencies. That’s what causes cataracts in the first place. But once the lens is replaced with an artificial one it allows the wavelengths through.

And, as you like military stuff…

During WW2 the Kriegsmarine used UV lamps for covert nighttime signalling. So British Intelligence recruited people who’d had cataract operations as coastal observers.

Last edited 11 months ago by Alan Robertshaw
Ohlmann
Ohlmann
11 months ago

@Cryp Dyke : I refuse the bourgeois notion of linear time, and you should do that.

(the french version of that sentence have sort of become my motto when someone ask me about delays or time of arrival, that kind of thing. “je rejette la notion petite-bourgeoise de linéarité du temps”)

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
11 months ago

@Ohlman

I tell people that I was born 4 days late and that I’ve made up more than 3 days and 23 hours so why do they want to quibble about the last few minutes?

epitome of incomrepehensibility

The misogyny here isn’t as super-obvious as in the last post, but this guy is still implying that people who don’t produce semen aren’t as good somehow. This time because of mystical life forces and whatnot. More “man active, woman passive” stuff.

@Crip Dyke – ahaha, I should use that one (I was also born later than expected).

@Kevin and Alan, the mirror stuff – sounds familiar! When I was a kid, I had a dream that I looked in the bedroom mirror and a witch’s face appeared – that scared me for weeks. But with me, I always had to pop my head out of bed to look at the mirror and confirm the witch wasn’t there. Or else it might be and I wouldn’t know it.

Sekhet Bast-Ra
Sekhet Bast-Ra
11 months ago

This is literally a plot from one of Robert Anton Wilson’s books. The actor from Debbie Does Dallas becomes immortal on account of a skillion dudes whacking it to her.

It’s also worth noting that computer screens are absolute crap at being black mirrors (which are generally black velvet under glass), and even if they were fantastic at it they wouldn’t work while showing images.

Lumipuna
Lumipuna
11 months ago

Threp:

Know one person who claimed to see a bit of a band before red, but she never could describe it well. “Glowy” isn’t much help!

Is this someone with tetrachromatic vision? Probably not seeing a color peak in the actual far red area, but rather two distinct color peaks in the “red” area?

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
11 months ago

During WW2 the Kriegsmarine used UV lamps for covert nighttime signalling. So British Intelligence recruited people who’d had cataract operations as coastal observers.

You reminded me of one of my great uncles, who contributed (quite involuntarily, but it beat prison) to the war effort pre radar as a listener, using one of those odd sound amplifiers you’ve all seen on the Cloudbusting video. He were a poacher by trade – had rather keen hearing even in his 60s, but a terrible sense of business. Kept getting caught in the pub while he were selling the catch on. 🙂

Edit to add:

@Lumipuma

Sorry, I don’t know. It came up in a convo one night – she were from a different unit, so we only really talked the once. Could be, I suppose.

Last edited 11 months ago by Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Alan Robertshaw
11 months ago

@ threp

He were a poacher by trade 

Presumably you’re familiar with the ‘auxiliary units’? The people who were designed to be ‘stay behind’ guerrilla fighters in case of invasion. Lot of poachers recruited for that.

As you probably know, they were given sealed orders, only to be opened in case of invasion. Of course, loads of people did immediately open them. Killing all the local police being first thing on the task list. I imagine there were a few poachers totally on board with that.

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
11 months ago

Presumably you’re familiar with the ‘auxiliary units’?

Ha! Knew where two caches were when I were a kid – the one in Staithes had been disarmed after the war, just bits and bobs left, but the MOD seemed to have completely forgotten about the other one up on the moor.

Didn’t know about the orders though! They do seem pretty standard – Gladio and Werwolf both had the same orders. The brass never did understand asymetric until they got their noses rubbed in it hard in the 70s.

Alan Robertshaw
11 months ago

@ threp

The brass never did understand asymetric until they got their noses rubbed in it hard in the 70s.

I’m reminded of the Millennium Challenge 2002. (This sort of tallies with our EM comms chat.) MC02 was the war game where they got some retired general to be in charge of the ‘terrorist’ forces.

He just used kids as runners to relay messages, and managed to sink the entire US carrier group on day one of the exercise.

So they had to refloat the fleet and then insist he gave all orders by radio in the clear.

To “make it fair”.

The Auxiliary Forces is a particular interest of mine. I even submitted a pitch to the radio for a documentary-drama about them. It was called ‘Stop Line’ and was basically ‘what if Sealion had gone ahead?”. They were quite interested; but they wanted some follow up material (draft first episode and outline of series) and I’m far too lazy and disorganised to have accommodated that.

Alan Robertshaw
11 months ago

In other news, I believe we have some fans here of Larry, the official “Chief Mouser to the Treasury”

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Ninja Socialist
Ninja Socialist
11 months ago

Just because a bunch of religions and occult practices believe in a thing doesn’t make it legit. These guys have really lost their minds but I guess that’s what happens when you believe in withholding semen from a world that doesn’t want it in the first place.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
11 months ago

So he’s losing his own midichlorians just by posting this? Is he going to now log off, smash all his computers, TV sets, cell phone (mine’s a good enough mirror I can fix my hair using it), and yes, my Kindle is also a black mirror.

At which point he’ll be reading only printed books, getting his news from the local newspaper (if it still exists) listening to the radio or tapes (CD’s are mirrors too; LPs are black), using a land line, and basically living like he’s about 90 years old, or it’s the 40s.

23-skiddoo!

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
11 months ago

Larry is the smartest and best-looking mammal in 10/11 Downing St.

People who have the small-size dishes to get satellite TV are familiar with the problem of “rain fade”. If it rains too hard, I can’t get my shows. Except I also have DSL so I can get it that way, as long as I didn’t try to record something live and watch it later. It only rains that hard about 1-2 days a year here, though I imagine in Britain this reduces the usefulness of such devices something fierce.

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