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“Computer screens are draining your life force!” declares mystical semen retainer

Don’t let your life force drain out through your eyes!

Today we’re taking another peek into the Semen Retention subreddit, the hangout of some of the most intense NoFappers you can find online. In particular, we’re going to look at a post from someone called RealisticGarage, who has a warning for his semen-retaining brothers: your life force can’t just be drained from your johnson. It can also get drained through your eyes. So, you know, look out for that.

RealisticGarage starts with an invocation of assorted religions and philosophies that believe there’s a mysterious kind of inner energy that could be called the life-force, and this is what semen retainers try to keep from splooging out into the world when they masturbate.

“When we abstain from releasing our seed we start to accumulate a lot of life force energy,” RealisticGarage begins.

This is literary the breath of life. Chinese call it Chi energy, Japanese call it Ki, Indians call it Prana, in Christian mysticism it is called the Holy Spirit (“the breath of God”), Jews call it Ruach, ancient Egyptians called it Sekhem, etc. It’s there across many religions, cultures and times, so it’s a fundamental truth of nature.

We’ll just have to take his word for it, because the fact that a bunch of religions talk about something doesn’t prove that it’s real.

In occultism (shamanism, witchcraft, etc) black mirrors are used to look into past, future and present (very much the same way as crystal balls are used), but also as a way to communicate with angels, demons, dead ancestors, Jinn, etc.

Huh. I thought Dark Mirror was an excellent if sometimes enormously depressing science-fiction series.

They can be used to send and receive messages. They work like gateways into the etheric realm, very much the similar way as your computer screen works like a gateway into the digital realm.

Wait, what. I hope the etheric realms aren’t as filled with annoying popups and ubiquitous spam as is the “digital realm.”

Our computer screens, and screens of all devices, such as phones and tablets, are made so that they are black mirrors. Just turn one off and look at it; google picture of black mirror and compare.

Whoa dude you’re starting to freak me out.

Ever heard of evil eye (a hex somebody can put you on with simply a look)? Ever felt like somebody is staring at you, then you look there and indeed they are? Ever were upset as a child and all you needed to feel safe and calm was just one loving look from your mother? It’s because our eyes direct energy! Good or bad, depending from intention.

So when you sit there in lust and look at porn or Instagram you are directing some of your life force through your eyes into the black mirror. Then in goes into etheric realms.

Hey, but I needed that life force!

Energy does not just goes out through your seed alone! It goes out also through your eyes. And it goes where the intention goes. If you look with lust at some pornstar and ejaculate, your intention is sending that ejaculated energy into screen at her. If you dont ejaculate, just peek, you obviously dont lose as much, but you still lose a decent amount through your eyes.

So we’re basically spooging life force out our eyes?

But does that energy goes to that pornstar? Probabaly not. Most of these pornstars have not studied occult, so they dont know how to absorb and use that. If they would, they probably could add decades to their lifespan by stealing all this life force from their audience, like succubus. Most likely there is a succubus demon somewhere near her that is licking all that energy up.

Damn those succubi eating my life force!

But there are other entities who can grab that energy while it is within etheric realms. Or redirect it. Maybe these entities are even behind porn corporations. Billions of people are being milked energetically like cows.

So PornHub is some giant mystical special ops mission designed to steal your life force on behalf of demonic entities?

Sexual energy is one big way how to spill that energy through eyes. But so is watching many hours a day of Youtube videos simply cos you are bored. Or watching the news. Or some dumb gossip. None of that is as much of a loss as sexual energy, but trust me, it accumulates over time.

So, wait, should we just go around with blindfolds on to keep from losing life force by watching the news?

Maybe we should read more books. They are not made from black mirrors. And funnily enough neither are screens of eReaders…

Yeah but my tablet, which I use as an ereader, is a black mirror when it’s turned off. I guess I’m just screwed.

But the best of course is to look in the eyes of other people. If you do so with positive intent you can charge them up energetically. People will surround you like moths.

Huh. I’m not sure I even like moths surrounding me like moths, much less people.

But at the very least, stop peeking. And if you do happen to relapse, do it without [any] black mirrors near you. And put some blessing into your intention as you orgasm, not lust. Like that you can actually use energy released during orgasm for positive manifestation.

So if you think noble thoughts about feeding the world when you jerk off you can help prevent starvation?

Doesn’t that kind of negate the whole point of semen retention? I mean, if it’s better to spread your life force around the world shouldn’t you be ejaculating like ten times a day?

Mysticism is hard.

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Tabby Lavalamp
Tabby Lavalamp
1 year ago

I wish the real world was as awesome as as too many people believe. Magic mirrors, sex demons, clones, injectable nanites, lizard people, Belgium, a flat planet where you can look over the edge, controllable weather, a rare absolute genius posing as the worst, most incompetent buffoon of a president in US history (okay, that one’s not so awesome)… Add dragons and laser swords and I’m in.

Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
1 year ago

Chinese call it Chi energy

Acupuncturists employ Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), which talks about chi. Chi is energy. Everything that lives possesses chi, not just the creatures who ejaculate (or refrain from ejaculating). This isn’t religion — it’s medicine.

.45
.45
1 year ago

“Wait, what. I hope the etheric realms aren’t as filled with annoying popups and ubiquitous spam as is the “digital realm.””

The Director’s Cut of Snow White:

“Mirror, mirror, on the wall-”

“Thy free trial of Norton Anti-Hex hath expired a season ago.”

“Seriously? I was doing a search. Ahem. Mirror, mirror-”

“Your majesty, wouldst thou be interested in sex in thy bedchambers? Many score of singles do reside in your kingdom nearby.”

“That sounds as likely as the offer of free medicinal herbs and poultices last fortnight…”

Snowberry
Snowberry
1 year ago

@Tabby Lavalamp:

Not sure I’d want to go with it if it included “all men are violent rape beasts, but it’s offensive to even imply that” and all of the supposed “truths” about women (child-minded, over-emotional, incapable of love and affection, desire only to be slaves and/or sex toys deep down, secretly rule the world while also being under the control of the eeevil jews, whatever else I might have missed) or any of that stuff some of them say about black, jewish, hispanic, and middle eastern people… I mean, yikes.

It might be bitterly amusing if Satan really went around “transing the gender” of bigots, for like five minutes, before I reminded myself that even if they’re terrible people they’re still people and probably don’t deserve that.

Last edited 1 year ago by Snowberry
Elaine The Witch
Elaine The Witch
1 year ago

Oh crap, they found out how I’m staying so young through my only fans. I lied to you guys, I’m not 22. I’m 2,222 and I’ve been expanding my life forces through out the years by getting men to look at my sexy sexy body.

Big Titty Demon
Big Titty Demon
1 year ago

Wait, so, if I spend all my time staring into the black mirror, but I’m not watching porn or gossip or YouRube videos and instead I’m programming and writing a paper on it… am I safe? I just don’t know the theological rules here: is it the black mirror staring that matters or the activity?

Also I’m relatively sure that the Holy Spirit isn’t jizz-related in most Christian sects but, you know, I could be wrong and they’re all secret Branch Davidians.

Battering Lamb
Battering Lamb
1 year ago

It’s there across many religions, cultures and times, so it’s a fundamental truth of nature.

Not sure I agree 100% with your reasoning there, buddy.

@Tabby: Hey, wait a minute, I’ve been to Belgium. I even have family there! Unless that was a black-mirror-sex-demon travelling back in time to before the internet! My eyes have been opened! THE SLEEPER HAS AWAKENED!(tm)

K. Going back to sleep now.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
1 year ago

I am annoyed that they don’t know the first thing about succubus. Succubus have a simple life cycle : in the female form (usually called succubus), they take sperm from someone with a dick ; they give it some hell influence ; and then, as the male form (usually called incubus) they impregnate some womb with it. There’s some trickery and shapeshifting involved for when they don’t find someone horny enough (especially now that birth control exist), but they are not vampires, which is what they describe here.

Battering Lamb
Battering Lamb
1 year ago

@Ohlman: that explains the lack of queer succubi/incubi. Heteronormativity is hell. 😛

Funny that Stephen Kings The Dark Tower is the one fiction book series I know of that does the succubi/incubi justice.

Last edited 1 year ago by Battering Lamb
Ohlmann
Ohlmann
1 year ago

I guess suc/incubus could be queer for pleasure and hetero for work :p

That being aid, changing sex at seem very LGBT in essence.

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
1 year ago

I guess suc/incubus could be queer for pleasure and hetero for work :p

Would the generic plural be cubes?

It’d (partially) explain Time Cube and give some validity to yon chap’s screed. That cetainly had other than mortal influences! 😛

Last edited 1 year ago by Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
1 year ago

Okay, but…screens are only black mirrors when they’re off. And when the device is off, they’re not watching porn. This makes even less sense than usual.

Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

Our computer screens, and screens of all devices, such as phones and tablets, are made so that they are black mirrors. 

This is the sense that Charlie Brooker means in the title of his anthology series.

His premise being that what you see on such devices, including his TV programme, is a reflection of society.

@ Elaine

You’ve reminded me of one line from the otherwise execrable Kull the Conquerer film. Our eponymous hero has been tricked into marrying a demon.

“Your bride is over 3,000 years old.”

“She told me she was 19!”

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
1 year ago

The only generic term I have seen so far is foocubi. The construction hint that it’s a word made after the invention of computers, so probably not too historical.

While the very historical document that is time cube would suddenly be clearer indeed :p

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
1 year ago

Just turn one off and look at it; google picture of black mirror and compare.

@Alan – It would have made more sense if he hadn’t added this sentence.

I’d be willing to believe our devices are sending us messages from an alternate dimension where violent insurrectionists are patriots, women are hypergamists, and one weird trick can lower your mortgage.

Kevin
Kevin
1 year ago

For very different reasons, I don’t reccomend staring into dark mirrors either.

The article, Strange-Face-In-The-Mirror Illusion, by Giovanni BCaputo in Perception, dated 1-1-2010 I think, details a way by which illusions might be viewed in a mirror in dim light. The illusions can be disturbing I am given to understand.

Maybe a proportion of crystallomancers and mirror gazers are not charlatans, but what they are seeing was cooked up by their own nervous systems rather than mystical influences.

Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

@ buttercup

I’d be willing to believe our devices are sending us messages from an alternate dimension 

With Cornish cellphone reception I’m lucky if my devices can receive a message from mates in the pub.

(Seriously, how can rain affect a phone signal? They’re electromagnetic waves; not pollen.)

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
1 year ago

My first though would be that the antenna is accustomated to be bathed in beer, not rainwater.

That being said, electromagnetic waves are impacted by water. The fact submarines use sonars and not radars make me think the impact can be important, albeit I am absolutely not a specialist of that topic.

Moggie
Moggie
1 year ago

The eyes are the testicles of the soul.

Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

@ ohlmann

The fact submarines use sonars and not radars make me think the impact can be important

Maybe I should try trailing a 300 metre long antenna behind me? See if that improves things?

Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

@ kevin

details a way by which illusions might be viewed in a mirror in dim light.

I really dislike seeing any reflective surfaces at night. I think it’s related to how I can’t have pictures of living things at home. It feels like there’s a ‘presence’.

But if I have to walk around at home in the dark I shut my eyes if I have to go past a mirror, or even glass.

So that article seems very relatable.

Trying
Trying
1 year ago

Why does this mystic doofus think “Black Mirror” (not “Dark Mirror,” David) is called that?

He has maybe half of a good point in that people can become too addicted to their screens. But he takes it down a weird cringy road.

Last edited 1 year ago by Trying
Ohlmann
Ohlmann
1 year ago

In the dark, I see things regardless of mirrors or not. I just have learned to never freak out regardless of which moving horrors is just at the border of my vision field.

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
1 year ago

@Alan

Seriously, how can rain affect a phone signal

Yay!!!

/geek mode on

Raindrops will refract all electromagnetic waves, not just the visible light stuff we’re used to. Frequencies affected depend on both the droplet size and density. It’s become important now we’re using shorter wave comms on the battlefield and for drone control, as well as cell phones.

I know military systems try to automatically adjust for signal attenuation due to rain and temperature, and a quick search says that civilian towers do the same – BUT, they adjust based on their local situation, not yours, so it isn’t perfect.

Fun thing – the Met office has used signal variation data to record rainfall levels in areas that don’t have physical capture stations.

/geek mode off.

Last edited 1 year ago by Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

@ threp

Oh wow; thank you! That does now make perfect sense; and that was very interesting to learn.

ETA: I wonder if you get rainbows in EM spectra not visible to humans?

Last edited 1 year ago by Alan Robertshaw
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