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Men’s Rights Redditor: Feminists loathe MRAs because they want to be abusive girlfriends and MRAs won’t let them get away with it

Men’s Rights Activist making an argument (re-enactment)

By David Futrelle

A young Men’s Rights Redditor named Destonreson is puzzled by the hostility directed at him and others of his kind.

“I’m an MRA,” he writes in a post on the Men’s Rights subreddit,

and I simply cannot understand the hate it gets. I think my views are fair and equal. … But the things I hear people say, the pure hatred the MRM gets, it makes zero sense to me. It’s upsetting and scary and has given me a negative view of society.

Really? Because it seems to me the hostility towards MRAs is pretty self-explanatory.

Yet again, a girl I matched with on tinder blocked me when I brought it up.

Ah ha! Now we get to the real source of his discontent.

“I’m glad she did,” he says, though the fact that he’s now writing a giant wall of text on the subject suggests he’s not quite as glad as he’d like us to believe.

I see being anti- MRA as a red flag. IMO, the real reason feminists are so bothered and angry by MRAs existing is because they want to be abusive and controlling in relationships.

Uh, what?

So they hate it when they know a man wouldn’t put up with it, and they hate it when a “white male” dares to have the audacity to see himself as a human being.

Wait, how did “white” make it into the mix here?

Domestic violence against men is one example of what I think is a basic and obvious point of fairness that feminists hate and attack- but why? If you’re against “harmful gender stereotypes”, then why are you against recognizing that male victims exist?

Weird, because the only people /i know of who have actually done something about domestic violence towards men — as opposed to yelling about it online — have been feminists.

Another thing is circumcision. It’s mutilation and IMO not a debate.

Most feminists I know are opposed to circumcision.

But feminists will attack you for even bringing it up, and will constantly defend it or it minimize it by bringing up FGM.

Maybe because by this point the discussion has already become a shouting match? Maybe because every time feminists try to talk about FGM online they are immediately surrounded by angry and sometimes abusive men screaming about circumcision? The anti-circumcision movement is so full of fanatics and antisemites that anyone with reasonable views on the subject is repelled by them.

Yes, FGM is disgusting and barbaric and has now place in the world. It doesn’t just mutilate women/girls, it’s fatal and kills many women/girls. I know! I acknowledge that.

But how is that a relevant part of circumcision? Why does that mean I shouldn’t be able to talk about it?

Talk about it all you want, just don’t barge into feminists spaces to “what about”it.

Would you say “littering doesnt matter because global warming is worse” or “rape doesn’t matter because genocide is worse”? No, because that doesn’t make sense. Why do feminists ALWAYS bring up FGM to “counter” circumcision? As if it’s a “defense?” It’s not.

Feminists, in my experience, don’t bring it up as a defense; they bring it up to see if the men yelling at them about circumcision actually give a shit about the barbarity of FGM.

Feminists are just incapable of making intellectual/logical arguments.

There’s a leap. Not sure you’re doing very well in the logic department yourself, bucko.

There are so many things that MRAs are right about…the education gap, the unemployment gap, the life expectancy gap, conscription, higher pension ages, homeless men being denied shelter because they aren’t “priority need”…what am I wrong about? What do MRAs say that isn’t true?

Where do you want me to start, Destonreson? How about with your assertion that feminists hate MRAs because they all want to be abusive girlfriends?

Of the rest, well, the education gap is real, to the extent that college admissions offices routinely let in less-qualified males in order to even things out a bit. Part of the reason for the education gap, moreover, is that men know they can make better money than women even with less education.

The life expectancy gap is also real, but it’s not the result of discrimination. Conscription? No one in the US is being conscripted right now, and feminists generally believe that if there is going to be a draft, women should be included as well. Indeed, the National Organization for Women sued over this at least once.

The others? I’m pretty sure you’ve just made up the unemployment gap, since the unemployment numbers for men and women, last I checked, were almost identical, with male unemployment only fractionally higher, at least in the US. The only “pension gap” I’ve run across is the result of men getting more pension money than women.

As for other MRA untruths, there are too many to mention. MRAs are gender wage gap deniers. They pretend that domestic violence towards men is the same or worse than that directed at women; never mind that it’s mostly women who end up in the hospital or the morgue because of their partners’ or ex-partners’violent attacks. MRAs pretend that men are as likely to be raped as women. Even more absurdly, MRAs like to pretend that we live in a “gynocracy” secretly run by women, and that men are the real victims of gender inequality.

But the biggest MRA untruth is probably the claim that Men’s Rights activists are actually activists. While they sometimes bring up real issues faced by men, they don’t — outside of the fanatical intactivists — try to do anything about them. Instead, as I and many others have pointed out many times before, they simply use all of these issues — real or bogus — to attack women. As Destonreson has done here, and as commenters on the Men’s Rights subreddit do day after day after day.

Destonreson, if you by chance are reading this, and you’re still wondering about the hostility towards the MRM, just take a look at some of the comments on your own post. One commenter calls feminists “lice infested moth [sic] breathers crawl[ing] out of their lesbian orgy,” another declares feminists opposed to “decency [and] truth,” still another says “that MRAs threaten their lucrative victimhood,” as if all complaints from feminists are manufactured.

I just don’t get it.

No, you really don’t.

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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2 years ago

If you think scientific taxonomic system are confusing, look up “baraminology.” It’s the pseudo-science invented by Young Earth Creationists because they don’t understand what a metaphor is. The more you read about it, the less sense it will make.

2 years ago

> Feminists, in my experience, don’t bring it up as a defense;

A lot of times, when I (even though I am no MRA) talked about dangers and cruelty of circumcision, at least some women said “but what about FGM?” although they may be non-feminists

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