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The greatest incel anthem ever was written and recorded by Chads

In 1967, these men were considered quite dashing

By David Futrelle

“Here Comes My Baby,” is a deceptively cheerful-sounding song of unrequited love, written by Cat Stevens when he was a teenager. And it has the stink of high school heartbreak all over it. It occurs to me that it might be the ultimate incel anthem.

You may be familiar with Cat Stevens’ own version of the song from the soundtrack of Rushmore — a movie also redolent of teen heartbreak. But the first version of the song was recorded and released by a group called The Tremeloes. And it went something like this:

The song hints at the sadness hiding beneath its perky exterior in the very first lines, as a young man, “in the midnight moonlight [walks] a long and lonely mile.” But it’s the chorus that pulls the rug out from under us, sending us spiraling into pure teenage pathos.

Here comes my baby, here she comes now,
And it comes as no surprise to me, with another guy.

WHAT WHAT WHAT!?

Here comes my baby, here she comes now,
Walking with a love, with a love that’s all so fine,
Never could be mine, no matter how I try.

Now we’re firmly entrenched in incel territory; the bitterness is palpable.

You never walk alone, and you’re forever talking on the phone.

Replace “talking” with “texting” — as Stevens, now Yusuf, apparently does in performance these days — and you’ve got one of every internet misogynist’s favorite complaints about women today.

I’ve tried to call you names, but every time it comes out the same.

Take a trip to incels.co for a long list of suggested names to call women.

The original song had something of a hopeful ending — in which the young protagonist tells himself that in some blessed future time “you’ll be mine to hold each day” — but I kind of like the Tremeloes’ version better, in which the third verse is replaced entirely with whistling. Keeps it more pure, I think.

Here’s Stevens’ recording of the song:

You might have noticed something striking in these videos. Despite the incel-ness of the song itself, the singers don’t exactly fit the stereotype of the incel. The Tremeloes were a handsome bunch, at least by the standards of the day, and Stevens was such a beautiful young man he could have been a male model (the highest state of modern man, according to incels).

Basically, they’re all Chads.

Yet there they are singing what seems to be an incel anthem.

And while the tune itself is mighty catchy, the lyrics themselves seem to have connected to more than a few listeners — enough to make the song a Top Ten hit in the UK and Canada, and an almost-Top-Ten-hit in the US, when it was released in 1967. And people are still listening to it today.

Why? Because you don’t have to be an incel to understand this sort of teenage pathos; we’ve all gone through the maddening, saddening experience of unrequited love (and if you say you haven’t, I don’t believe you). The difference is that most of us don’t turn this teenage pathos into a lifestyle; we ultimately gain a little perspective and move on, and it’s that, not “a few millimeters of bone,” that separate incels from non-incels. We can relate to this song (if perhaps not to its more stalker-ish elements); we just don’t want to crawl up inside it and live there.

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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kupo
kupo
2 years ago

I present to you White Blank Page by Mumford and Sons

Can you lie next to her
And give her your heart, your heart
As well as your body
And can you lie next to her
And confess your love, your love
As well as your folly
And can you kneel before the king
And say I’m clean, I’m clean

Tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with my whole heart
Oh tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with my whole heart

A white blank page and a swelling rage, rage
You did not think when you sent me to the brink, to the brink
You desired my attention but denied my affections, my affections

Tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with my whole heart
Oh tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with my whole heart

Lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life
Lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life

https://youtu.be/qk14HJgJqfo

Naglfar
Naglfar
2 years ago

@kupo
The last few lines remind me a little of “Sunglasses at Night” by Corey Hart. That song always seemed kind of stalker-y.

Jesalin, Goddess of Lust & Pleasure
Jesalin, Goddess of Lust & Pleasure
2 years ago

Frankly, reading through some of the things that these “incels” say, I can’t help but have some sympathy for them.

Nope.

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Lainy
Lainy
2 years ago

@jesalin

what is that gif from!? my friend gave me a stuffed corgi for Christmas one year and it has a collar like that and I didn’t know if it was from some sort of show!

Naglfar
Naglfar
2 years ago

@Lainy
I think it’s from Cowboy Bebop but my knowledge of anime is rather lacking. The corgi’s name is Ein.

Malice W Underland
Malice W Underland
2 years ago
Malice W Underland
Malice W Underland
2 years ago

Hey mammotheers, would someone do me the favour of telling me how to embed video? I really can’t figure it out.

Anyway…The above song is an excellent incel anthem:

I called this number three
Times already today
But I, I got scared, I put it back in place—
I put my phone back in place
I still don’t know if I
Should have called up
Look, just tell me why don’t you
If I’m out of place
Cause here’s your chance to make me feel awkward
And wish that I
Had never even called up this place

I saw you though today
Walk by with hippie Johnny
I had to call up and say how I want to take his place
So this phone call today concerns
Hippie Johnny
He’s always stoned, he’s never straight
I saw you today, you know, walk by with hippie Johnny
Look, I had to call up and say, I want to take his place
See he’s stoned, hippie Johnny
Now get this, I’m straight
And I wanna take his place

Now look, I like him too, I like
Hippie Johnny
But I’m straight
And I want to take his place
I said, I’m straight
I said, I’m straight
I’m proud to say
Well I’m straight
And I wanna take his place

Malice W Underland
Malice W Underland
2 years ago

ooh, and I forgot this version also has this choice verse:

<

Now I’ve watched you
walk around here, I’ve watched you meet
With boyfriends
and you tell me how they’re deep
Look but I think these guys,
If they’re so great, why can’t they
At least take this place
And take it straight
Why always stoned
Like Hippie Johnny is
I’m straight and I want to take his place

Naglfar
Naglfar
2 years ago

@Porkin_Beans
Rivers made a pseudo apology for why the lyrics were sexist:

There are some lyrics on the album that you might think are mean or sexist. I will feel genuinely bad if anyone feels hurt by my lyrics but I really wanted these songs to be an exploration of my “dark side” – all the parts of myself that I was either afraid or embarrassed to think about before. So there’s some pretty nasty stuff on there. You may be more willing to forgive the lyrics if you see them as passing low points in a larger story. And this album really is a story: the story of the last 2 years of my life. And as you’re probably well aware, these have been two very weird years.

I do not advocate violence against him, but I will say that this isn’t really an apology or justification. Do what you will with it.

Rahu
Rahu
2 years ago

I’m seconding Snowberry (you’re not alone, Snowberry!) I’m the same way – never experienced it.

Then again, I was messed up from a really young age, so that probably had something to do with it.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
2 years ago

Fuck incels… (or, more appropriately, don’t)

re: pop music… the 1950’s stuff was full of possessive songs, on both sides (see “It’s My Party”, etc.) Then came the sixties, much of which reeked of possessiveness. The seventies brought us new forms of possessive pop, much of it recycled 50’s songs (The Captain and Tenille and Neil Sadaka remain crimes against both music and humanity). The metal of the 80’s raised possessive pop to a new low, and the ’90s…

Naglfar
Naglfar
2 years ago

@Weird Eddie
I keep reading that as “progressive” then wondering how hair metal was progressive by either definition.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

O/T; other than that it’s music related, but Genesis B/P Orridge has gone to that great gig in the sky 🙁

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2020/mar/14/throbbing-gristle-and-psychic-tv-leader-genesis-breyer-p-orridge-dies-aged-70

Naglfar
Naglfar
2 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw
That is sad. Genesis P-Orridge was someone who inspired me as a musician.

varalys the dark
2 years ago

Damn, I loved his work with Throbbing Gristle and Psychic TV. I own lots of albums of each of those (on vinyl) including some very obscure live albums. I think one reason I love Akira Yamaoka’s work on the Silent Hill series so much is because he channels that heavy industrial sound with catchy melodies.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

@ naglfar

You post your music anywhere? If it’s inspired by ToPY or TG then I’d be very interested to hear it.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

For anyone self isolating today, I just saw that Netflix (at least the US version) has the original Wicker Man.

I haven’t seen it in years, because streaming services only ever seem to have the Nicholas Cage version, so I’m pretty excited!

Naglfar
Naglfar
2 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw
I don’t have any posted online right now, and most of what I’ve been doing lately isn’t that similar to anything Genesis did, but if I do upload anything I’ll let you know.

Diego Duarte
Diego Duarte
2 years ago

@WWTH

We start self-isolation on Monday, or rather working from home. But yeah, I’m trying to avoid crowded places. Luckily I live out by a sparsely populated area, in comparison to the rest of the city. I still gotta go out to get supplies though.

OT: Have any of you seen the latest report on Italy? Looks like the death rate has spiked. I’ve read it’s at 827 out of 12k infected, but I am also hearing 1,200 deaths (unconfirmed). So yeah, take no chances.

Any good horror movies (safe for the Conjuring franchise) you guys might recommend?

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I can recommend so many horror movies! I don’t know what you have or haven’t seen or what you like. So I’ll start with a few recs.

Absentia. It’s Mike Flanagan’s early work. It has a Lovecraft vibe but without the racism and overworked writing.

Savageland. It has substance, as it deals with racism and xenophobia against undocumented Mexicans. But it’s also scary. It’s an interesting take on a zombie movie…

As is Pontypool. It’s the most unique version of a zombie movie I’ve ever seen and it’s really, really interesting.

Banshee Chapter. It takes real things, like MK Ultra and number stations and turns them into something scary as fuck.

The Bay. Environmental horror. Feels very timely. And real.

I Saw the Devil. Maybe more of a thriller than horror. But it’s the ultimate revenge is a double edged sword movie. And with the recent success of Parasite, people may be up for watching Korean horror and thrillers right now.

Lake Mungo. It’s more haunting than scary, but it really feels like an actual documentary and stuck with me for ages when I first saw it.

Yellowbrickroad. This one is just bizarre. It leaves you with more questions than answers. That’s why I very much enjoyed it.

Kairo aka Pulse. This one is a work of art. Don’t watch the American remake though. The original Japanese movie perfectly captures the feeling of crushing loneliness and despair.

Hope that helps! I didn’t list any super famous movies because I figured they don’t need recommending.

Schnable_Von_Rom_MD
Schnable_Von_Rom_MD
2 years ago

They reopening Poveglia yet?

BBBB
BBBB
2 years ago

@Malice W Underland

They have a bunch of songs in a similar vein, such as “Astral Plane”. I think there’s a tongue-in-cheek element at work… they also sang paeans to Stop-n-Shop and Boston’s Government Center.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Sorry if my post looks like it was written by an 8 year old. I’ve barely slept, I spent the whole day in manual labor packing up my mom to move to assisted living and then I had lots of wine and beer

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Prith kDar
Prith kDar
2 years ago

@ Weird Eddie: I think it’s kind of a stretch to call “It’s My Party” possessive. There’s one line, “when he’s supposed to be mine,” that I suppose could be interpreted that way, but to me it sounds like he went to her birthday party as her boyfriend, or at the very least her date, and then he goes off with another girl and gives that girl a ring. To me this is a song of literal in-your-face betrayal rather than her stalking or I’ll-kill-you possessiveness. It’s at least rude behavior on his part, unless it really is all in her head, but there’s no indication of that in the song that I can see.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
2 years ago

@ Prith kDar:

I’ll give you “It’s My Party,” I only used it because it came to mind (a mind that is getting slower by the day.). Just trying to make a point, I.e. I have a disdain for possessiveness. Not that it translates into my musical taste, as I’ve noticed a lot of the music I like has elements of cultural missteps in it….

Another of my peeves is “love ’em n leave ’em.”… e.g. “Gypsy Rider”by Gene Clark… one of my favorites, tho I gotta bite my tongue to hear it. Other times carry the torch AGAINST “love ’em n leave ’em, e.g. “If I’d Only Come And Gone”, Dr. Hook (r.i.p. Dennis Loccierie n Ray Sawyer,)

Something Anita Sarkeesian said in her”Tropes” series — all our favorite media has problematic elements, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it… but we need to recognize those elements and educate ourselves as to why they’re problematic.

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