By David Futrelle
Add “marital rape” to the long list of things that incels don’t — or won’t — understand.
Yesterday, a prolific Incels.co commenter called Vermilioncore offered his take on this issue that directly affects roughly zero percent of all incels.
Lots of women claim that they are raped by their husbands but that’s just not possible.
Not a promising start.
How are you going to be raped by the man you are supposed to be fucking 24/7?
I often wonder if particular incels have ever even spoken to a woman they’re not related to; in this case I wonder if Vermilioncore has ever met a married person.
It’s impossible for a wife to be raped by her husband. He has permission to have sex with her because they are married. Even if she’s sleeping, she shouldn’t get mad if her husband starts fucking her in the middle of the night.
Somehow I can’t imagine Vermilioncore being too happy if someone penetrated him while he was sleeping, even if he were married to them.
A woman getting angry because her husband “””raped””” her is like a dog getting mad that its owner pet him.
I’m pretty sure even dogs wouldn’t agree with him on this one.
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But! The core of the analogy is right, touching any person (human or otherwise) without their consent is something that you shouldn’t do!
(I teach all of my animals to consent to being petted – I hold out my hand near them and if they lean into it I pet. If they turn away then no pets. Usually this results in them running over for love when I put out a hand. Consent equals happy snuggle fluff friends)
Only an Incel could manage to develop an accurate analogy and draw exactly the wrong conclusion from it.
@Brandy, congratulations! I hope everything goes fantastic.
Congrats and good luck, Brandy!
As for consent, it is true that you don’t have to be an incel to get consent this wrong. Remember the clusterfuck over the sexual assault of that girl from Steubenville, Ohio?
And it’s not even just when talking about others that things go horribly wrong. When I was 20? 21? 22? I was having sex with a partner and she asked me to stop. I did. Then after I told her how great things had felt and that we should do that again sometime, because I had been seriously close to a wonderful orgasm and knew I would enjoy doing that again.
She asked me, “but why didn’t you just keep going then, if you were close to orgasm?”
Me: “Because you said stop.”
She: “But, I mean, you were close, so why did you stop?”
Me: “Uh, because you said stop. I don’t understand.”
It was a really unusual and sad conversation, not least because I had been in her place before, where someone else wanted to keep going and I wanted to stop and … didn’t.
I wish this was limited to incels only.
Congratulations Brandy! I hope your first day is amazing!
And these dinguses somehow still think that it’s their looks that makes women avoid them like the plague…
Can’t imagine why someone wouldn’t want to date or marry a person who thinks that consenting to a relationship also means consenting to everything else at all times. (And you know that incels aren’t just of the opinion that husbands can’t rape their wives. I’d bet they think that boyfriends can’t rape their girlfriends and that men can’t rape their dates.)
@Kat
I also wondered about these quote marks around “””rape”””. There are 3 sets of double-quotes, I think… is it like (((this code))) in some fashion? Is it rape by Jews? Or is it only Jews accusing people of rape? That was the only thing I could relate it to: it seems too intentional to mean nothing and I’ve seen it before on this board before, but forgot to ask what it meant because I was too exhausted by the other mental poison nearby.
How would you even do “air quotes” for that? Not enough fingers.
Best of luck Brandy. What exciting news; thank you for sharing!
As for the OP, I just hope he doesn’t have pets. Dogs make it very clear whether or not they want to be touched, and even clearer if you go ahead and touch them regardless. People like the OP should be aware that touching a dog without its consent can lead to the dog “touching” you back in a similarly non-consensual way. The rest of us wouldn’t want to touch our dogs if they aren’t enjoying it (unless necessary for say medical reasons), because what would be the point? And that, right there, is the difference. As my much wiser namesake says, it’s about treating people as things. And that goes for dogs too.
@Big TItty Demon, @Moggie
And here I thought those extra (sometimes backward) quote marks were like the manospherian ellipses–a whimsically chosen number of punctuation marks.
@Brandy: Congratulations! You’ll be a great example!
I can’t remember whether it was here or on another site, but I did once see someone admit that they used weird punctuation (such as three consecutive commas instead of one) so that their posts would “stand out”. So that might be the reason for the “””quotes”””. It seems inadvisable to me, though. Sure, you’ll get noticed, but only in the same way that you’d get noticed if you wore underpants on your head.
@ moggie
We had a case in London where someone robbed an off-licence whilst wearing a pair of knickers on their head. Not as a mask or anything; just as a hat.
None of the witnesses could describe the guy at all; only the pants.
“Well, did you even notice black or white?”
“The pants?”
“No; the guy!!!”
Maybe the robber had seen that presentation where you have to count the number of basketball passes between a group of people, and don’t notice the person in the gorilla suit who runs across the stage behind them.
If so, they put it to rather effective practical use.
@Moggie @Victorious Parasol
The Red Shoes fairytale is in fact about sex. The girl is told not to put on the red shoes and abstains for a time, but once she has put them on, she cannot ever stop “dancing” in them. The idea here being that once a girl has sex once, there is no going back, she is going to have to continue to put out. In the story, the red shoes follow the girl even after she has her feet chopped off, meaning that once a reputed slut, forever reputed slut.
Hans had a difficult relationship with his own sexuality. It’s why he wrote things like The Little Mermaid and Thumbellina and The Ugly Duckling.
I will sometimes use multiple quotation marks, i’ll own up to that. But i use it to indicate when i would be air quoting furiously.
Like if i were to refer to this jerk as a ””””’gentleman””””’.
I always forget to count how many i put down on the first side, so i try to muscle memory it. They are probably uneven!
I do it more on an IM program than on a message board, i think. Hm.
I think these might be being used in the same fashion, if that helps anyone.
Signed,
Rhuu, maybe an actual illiterati in this case? XD
Re: Brandy – CONGRATS CONGRATS CONGRATS!!!!!
@Rhuu:
*Screams in programmer*
Grimm Brothers: Some of these tales we have collected are quite disturbing.
Hans: Hold my beer!
Congratulations Brandy, I hope all goes well!
On the subject of pets, my guinea pigs have always been very clear about when and where I am allowed to pet them. If they consent to being petted, they will zone out while I stroke their head. If they don’t, they will jerk their heads back and give me a look. And if I try to pet them somewhere inappropriate (such as their beautiful fluffy chests) I get nipped.
@dashapants
IIRC Anderson himself was sort of an incel, as it seems he was unable to find a partner at any point and never really moved on from his childhood crush.
@moregeekthan
That was kind of my thought when I decided to reread some of the original version of fairytales. Those stories are usually really creepy, and I would never read them to a child.
Even the saccharine Disney happy ending versions are really messed up, due to obvious racism, sexism, and homophobia in most of them.
If air quotes negate the word they surround, do multiple air quotes act like a double negative?
More evidence of their fundamental desire being control and dominance over a woman rather than simple sexual relations.
Frikken incels.
On lighter news, anybody else jazzed for Guillermo Del Toro’s Scary Stories movie? 😀
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vlya92LZqZw
Me and my brother loooooved these books when we were kids. Could recite the best lines from memory and the illustrations were just grotesque enough to entrance you. My brother and a friend of his even made their own home-video version of “The Bad News.”
At worst, this movie will merely disappoint. Still, it’ll be cool to see Stephen Gammell’s illustrated terrors on the big screen. If anybody can do it, it’s Guillermo.
I’m gonna try to check it out this weekend after I get a gyro at Taste of the Danforth.
I wonder if this incel would make an exception for a woman I knew who was a medical resident, working 130 hours/week, mostly in 36-hour shifts?
Her husband did her the courtesy of waking her up first when he wanted to have sex, instead of just raping her, but she had to explain to him that, since she only got any sleep every other night, he shouldn’t do that.
He was that clueless. But he did say OK, and stopped waking her up. I guess that’s the best women can hope for?
@Garnetstar
36 hour shifts? That sounds rough. I’ve only stayed up 36 hours straight a few times (mostly when traveling), but the few times I did I felt awful for days after. Not sure how someone survives doing that on the regular.
I read somewhere that after 18 hours, someone’s judgement is as impaired as it would be if they had a BAC of 0.05. Not sure about 36, but it can’t be good.
O/T: The creepiest and most sexist movie reviews ever. Read ’em and weep. Or puke. Possibly both.
@Naglfar
It’s basically a kind of institutionalized hazing. It’s a terrible, terrible policy and should be ended immediately for the good of caregivers and patients alike, but it won’t be anytime soon because of attitudes about the virtues of overwork.
Another O/T item: remember some years back there was a minor brouhaha in the media about some guy distributing design files online that would allow someone to run off a gun on a 3D printer (for some value of “gun” anyway; the single-shot device was probably as lethal to the person using it as to their putative target)? The guy behind it is up on charges of sexual assault of a minor. Seriously, what is it with these libertarian types and their predilection for underage sexual partners??