By David Futrelle
So-called “Men Going Their Own Way” are so bad at the whole “going their own way” part of their little woman-hating credo that they sometimes have sex with women.
As you might imagine, this often does not go very well for either person involved. Consider this “field report” posted to the MGTOW subreddit recently by one sex-having Redditor, which may just put you off food and/or sex forever.
“Had sex yesterday,” declared the MGTOW man who calls himself nowig.
Was a most disgusting, vile act.
i don’t know why i do this anymore. i really don’t.
None of us know why you do this. Aren’t you supposed to be going your own damn way?
the whole experience was traumatizing and disgusting. she was 26, around 5’2″ and petite.
That poor woman had no idea what she was in for.
making out on a park bench, i was careful to nibble around her mouth. there was something off-putting about her saliva maybe. a slight metallic aftertaste. this is true for the vast majority of girls though: i don’t like the taste.
I’m sure you taste utterly delicious yourself. Astringent, with a delicate aftertaste of bitterness and an entire life wasted.
getting back to her place, fumbling around in the dark to get her clothes off. disappointment at those 5-10 lb of concealed pudge.
How dare she be slightly less skinny than you expected!
she was totally put together in clothes, but had a falling-apart body with a thicker lower half and droopy sad tits
Dude, you are a droopy sad tit.
and this is a girl who works out and is in top 20% of americans her age.
She probably spent most of her next workout session wailing on a punching bag with fists and feet, imagining that it was your sorry ass.
touching her amorphous “spinner” bod, fingering her slimepit. i was so sadly deflated.
No one who uses the phrase “fingering her slimepit” has ever had good sex with anyone.
i felt an obligation to go down on her to prep her for the actual sex. so i did, and it was as awful as i imagined.
Yeah, I can’t imagine it was much of a treat for her either.
there was some acidic/fruity smell emanating, and i essentially used my lower lip to smush against her relatively clean clit, so as to avoid having my tongue come into contact with the main portion of her gaping moist hole.
I can’t imagine her “hole” was either gaping or moist at this point. It was probably trying to sew itself shut.
my dick was floppy and unenthused the whole time despite my having taken a cialis.
Dude, no amount of Cialis is going to fix what ails you, as your problems appear to stem from a giant deposit of toxic sludge in your brain. And where are you getting Cialis from, anyway? Do you go to Donald Trump’s old doctor?
i immediately went into nervous hyper-focus mode as i tried to get the condom on, stroke my dick into readiness, and finger and prep her while angling my semi-flaccid dick for the final insertion. trying not to be awkward while sweating from the prospect of failure.
Here’s me right now:
once it was in, i was able to pump for a good long while, but didn’t want to change positions so as not to jeopardize my erection.
i came into the condom and immediately rushed out to clean up. i noticed a thick layer of white slime had accumulated past the condom and on the upper portion of my shaft.
Dude, you are a thick layer of white slime.
i felt chills and literally shivered with horror as i rinsed off in the shower.
You and me both, dude.
i now have some inkling of why i hate dating so much, and why my standards for women and romance and abstract ideals are so high. it’s because the actual act of sex is so appalling, anything less than perfection in the other areas would fail to compensate
Dude, think for a moment about all the times you’ve had sex. (It shouldn’t take too long.) What do all of these experiences have in common?
That’s right: YOU. It’s not that “the actual act of sex is appalling.” Most people seem to enjoy it. It’s that the actual act of sex WITH YOU is so appalling that you should never, ever do it ever again, both for your sake and for the sake of every woman in the world, so that they don’t have to even imagine what it would be like to have sex with you.
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Come to think of it, now that I actually read the account in depth it is so extreme and over the top. For instance:
This sounds as if it were written by H P Lovecraft describing a sexual encounter. Quite likely a teenager wrote this. Especially with the atrocious disregard for punctuation. I seriously doubt this encounter ever occurred beyond the authors imagination.
Why did this guy even bother…? It sounds like an evening ‘indulging’ in some good old introspection and self reflection, actually taking some time to start figure himself out and what he might actually be into, would have been a far more satisfying time.
And Jonathan Swift was making fun of it 300 years ago:
As an equal opportunity satirist, Swift also mocks women in the poem, but it’s still a pretty nice takedown of men who don’t realize that the gorgeousness they admire is the product of several hours dressing and makeup, and that women sweat and have bowel movements.
Okay, who let the fucking MGTOW into the sex vault
There are absolutely people who find the thought of sex repulsive. I’m not one – I’m pretty asexual but not out of a sense of revulsion. But I know plenty who are. It’s absolutely a thing.
There is a brighter rainbow in the flower of humanity than any of us could possibly imagine.
I just read this on Jezebel, “most outrageous one night stand stories,” right before reading this post, and these sex stories are truly night and day in how it’ll make ya feel.
So smile again everyone! Sex doesn’t have to be amazing to be good, it just needs to be positive.
The semester I went for study abroad, I ended up living in a house with three Swedish models. Every cliche ensues-they are bitchy, they routinely backstab each other, they’re slobs, none of them are very bright. I am not very attractive and I am very academic-nerdy, and the whole semester unrolls like a terrible reality show.
The plus side of living with them is that they (and by extension me) get invited to a ton of crazy parties. At one of these cool-kid parties near the end of the semester, I spot an absurdly hot guy, and it must have been obvious I was checking him out because my roommates give me an immediate reality check- “That’s X, he’s the hottest guy any of us have seen in real life, and we’ve all tried to get with him and he’s not interested in any of us, so he’s definitely not going to be interested in *you*.”
I sat on that for a while, and then decided “Fuck you, bitches!” and because even plain, shy girls have nights when they’ve Got It Goin’ On, I went right up to him. To this day I have no idea why, but I opened with some reference to the Aeneid (I warned you I’m nerdy), and that guy looks at me like I’m Christmas and his birthday all wrapped up in one package. Turns out he’s double majoring in Latin and Classics and has a serious thing for the epic poets. He looks like a male model and he’s an incredible athlete, so nobody ever expects him to- or pays attention when- he says anything smart or academic. We spend the next couple hours talking/drinking/dancing, after which he more or less throws me over his shoulder and carries me out of the club and back to his apartment. I caught sight of my roommates as we left- standing there open-mouthed, shocked that their ugly roommate is leaving with the Adonis. It was like a scene from a movie and perfect for that alone.
The sex was 100% satisfactory but not epic, and for a number of reasons I snuck out of his apartment before he woke up and didn’t leave my number. I still remind myself about that story whenever I’m feeling particularly unattractive or down on myself!
If only incels would do the same.
@ this MGTOW, in all seriousness:
Dude, it sounds like you’re not into women, physically.
You may be sex-repulsed and/or on the asexuality spectrum, period, or you could just be into other genders besides women, or even just prefer people who don’t have vaginas (so, actually, maybe some women too, sometimes).
(Your brain has apparently decided that your orientation is women’s fault, but that’s a whole other issue.)
But either way, you clearly aren’t attracted to women, so stop trying to make sex with them work. It’s not fair to them and it’s a waste of your time, too.
The political lesbianism reminded me how, when men are angry, they hurt women, and when women are angry, well, they hurt other women too. There’s no symmetry in thoses things. Guess it’s the same reason for which 100% of the non-white racist I have seen hate on non-white.
On the subject of the blog post, I have a vague feeling that he actually get excited by describing how horrible it is. Might be me projecting, of course.
(I scrolled up in the thread, and for the record, I’m not trying to speculate extensively on this guy’s orientation or anything else about his identity or position in society, or shift the focus toward ace men or gay men and their lack of sexual attraction to women.
I’m just viscerally reacting to how grossed out this guy seems to be about…a normal human [cis and perisex, presumably] woman’s body.
And how just weird it is that his philosophy is predicated on being entitled to that body, when it seems like he himself doesn’t even actually want it.)
Seriously, there’s nearly two pages of comments asking people to NOT DO THAT
What did you expect? *Of course* someone who considers women subhuman and evil will find sex with them disgusting. Assuming the whole story isn’t a figment of an angry virgin’s imagination.
Most MGTOWs are middle-aged men and they talk just like this. Disregard for punctuation is not limited to teenagers. Poorly describing sexual encounters is not limited to people who don’t have sex. Seriously, stop speculating about why this guy wrote this. It’s because he hates women. He’s a MGTOW. It comes with the territory.
Not that I expect someone with their own deep-seated misogyny to accept misogyny alone as an explanation of poor behavior.
Just because I disagree with the general consensus and expressed an opinion you didn’t like doesnt imply that I hate women.
I am not defending this guy. I’m being honest that I don’t believe his story.
Nah, kupo brought the receipts. No strawmanning
I for one am sick and tired of mansophere jerks blaming their problems on “autism”. No, you’re not alone because you’re “socially awkward”; you’re alone because you’re a misogynistic asshole.
As for men who find sex disgusting, or want to be without women for whatever reason, they always existed: in monastaries, the army, among fishing buddies, in chess clubs (traditionally mostly male), among old badhelors in men’s clubs, etc. Who ever said you *must* have sex with women if you don’t want to?
But people in, say, a chess club *play chess*; they don’t go on and on about how *happy* they are they are *not* having sex with those *evil* women. If such a chess club had existed, what would you think about its members – that they’re without women because they prefer chess, or because they’re jerks?
Frankly, I don’t really ever read the entire comment thread before commenting because I usually don’t care, I just want to react/riff. Especially since as you said, it was literally two pages of comments.
I just happened to be scrolling this time, and realized the existing discussion added a bad context to my reactive comment that I hadn’t intended, so I wanted to try to head that off.
I don’t really see the point of dumping on me after I realized my mistake, but go off, I guess. Unless your comment is in response to the “wtf dude you don’t even like women” comment I posted, in which case yeah, I am sorry about that.
In some cases, maybe. But the thing is that this guy also expresses disgust at his own sexual fluids. (“A thick layer of white slime had accumulated past the condom.”) I’m not really interested in armchair psychoanalysis, but it does seem like his revulsion is in large part directed toward the sex act itself.
So I suppose I’d just advise him not to have sex. Or if he’d like to have sex but can’t get past these hangups, maybe he could try seeing a therapist.
I also have to say that I don’t agree with this idea that we can’t look at this post from any perspective other than a feminist one. Mandating that we see this person’s rant as purely “misogyny” is frankly asinine and just stifles discussion. Misogyny can be expressed in many forms and it can come mixed in with all sorts of other motivations. I understand why we might want to avoid speculation that he’s closeted. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with noting that in addition to whatever misogyny he might be expressing, he also appears to be fundamentally uncomfortable with sex and sexuality, for whatever reason. Which is fine, but I think if he recognized what is to me very obvious, he might be a happier person.
I don’t think that’s against the comments policy, but if I have misread it, feel free to let me know.
I had assumed that the ‘white slime’ was her fluids, not his, ie, he got vaginal fluids on him above the condom, not uncommon, and that was guh-ross because he seems to think women should not have bodily fluids.
Then why come to a feminist space?
Other than it being gross to throw people (ace, autistic, etc) under the bus and being against the comments policy?
That’s how I interpreted that too. After all, he referred to her vagina as a ‘slimepit.’
I’m not throwing anyone under the bus. There’s nothing wrong with not being interested in sex, or in being autistic. But in my opinion, it is very possible that this person’s unexamined issues with sex and sexuality have commingled with his misogyny – and I think it’s also possible the latter might be keeping him from coming to a clearer understanding of himself.
Or maybe I’m wrong. But regardless, this is not the same thing as “blaming” his possible asexuality (or whatever) for his misogyny.
(Similarly, I think I think many MRAs, manosphereans, incels, etc. are probably suffering from untreated depression, and are more or less using these communities as extremely unhealthy coping mechanisms. I do not think this in any way stigmatizes those with depression.)
Fair enough – I may have misinterpreted that line.
Seriously. Comments policy. If you have a problem with it, discuss it with David.
Read this article about female ejaculation.
Vaginal ejaculatory fluid has much lower viscosity than semen. It is generally clear-ish. Also, female ejaculation does not occur 100% of the time during orgasm.
And what kind of man describes his own fucking cum as a thick layer of white slime(*that had accumulated past the condom)??? AS IF he never jerked off before, had an orgasm and ejaculated! A He describes ejaculation as if he has never heard of it or seen it before…nd that the reason folks why I don’t believe his sexual escapade occurred outside of his imagination.
Rabid Rabbit – thank you for that! It was one of the things I thought of when skimming the OP (briefly, I have food in my stomach).
There’s also a prose piece I vaguely recall, in which Young Man and Young Woman have agreeable intercourse in a leafy glade. Afterwards, YW excuses herself, and shortly after YM hears the sound of liquid hitting vegetation. He suddenly realizes that she’s urinating, and is seized with utter consternation.
Some of these accounts by heterosexual men make me think of g0ys, gay men who are so revolted by anal sex in any capacity that they not only don’t partake themselves but revile any man who does. Some of them even forswear fellatio and restrict themselves to frottage.
Finally, assuming that the account in the OP is true and accurate, I’d really like to hear the woman’s description of what must have been a singularly disappointing encounter.