empathy deficit entitled babies imaginary oppression MGTOW misogyny MRA the fucking titanic

Are women really demanding that men give up bus seats to them just because they’re women? A WHTM investigation

Hey, why isn’t she sitting?

By David Futrelle

So I recently ran across this perplexing little cartoon — apparently the English version of a Spanish-language original by cartoonist Mimundo Alex — on a MGTOW Facebook page.

I have a couple of questions:

  1. Why on earth  is she demanding he give her his seat when it’s clear that most of the seats on the bus are empty?
  2. When the hell does this actually happen in real life?

I mean, I’m not a daily commuter, but I’ve been using public transportation fairly regularly for decades and I have never once seen a woman demand a seat on a bus or train “because I’m a woman.”

Here are some things I have seen:

  • Men and women offering elderly people their seats.
  • People pretending they don’t see the elderly person standing next to them so they won’t have to give up their seats.
  • People offering seats to parents with small children.
  • People pretending they don’t see the parents and their children.
  • People offering seats to the disabled (or not offering them).
  • People offering seats to very pregnant women (or not offering them).
  • A creepy dude pressuring a much younger woman who was obviously having an extremely shitty day to move over so he could sit next to her, despite the fact that most of the seats on the train were empty.
  • Kids on the tracks throwing rocks at the train I was on
  • A store on fire
  • A building being demolished imploding just as we passed by
  • A guy with his hand stuck in the door of a T train in Boston getting briefly pulled along by the train until other commuters got the attention of the train operator.
  • Former Democratic presidential candidate Michael Dukakis
  • Street hustlers doing the old cups-and-ball routine (numerous times).
  • A guy with his face mostly burned off by acid asking riders for money.
  • A woman singing loudly and very badly along to music on her headphones while doing dance moves in her seat and refusing to stop after being confronted by other train passengers.
  • Large groups of suburban Cubs fans acting like assholes.

These are just off the top of my head.

But I swear I’ve never seen women demand men give them their seats just because they’re women. Because this is simply not a thing, at least in the places where I have lived.

Why are so many men worked up about this thing that doesn’t happen?

It’s like their perpetual outrage about “women and children first” on ships from MRAs and other misogynists. Yes, it happened on the Titanic (though numerous upper class men got seats in lifeboats and many lower class women didn’t). But it’s never been a widespread policy; it would drastically slow down passengers trying to get to safety at a time when every second counts. I realize most people are regular passengers on ocean liners (and neither am I) but think for a minute about the emergency instructions you get every time you fly in a plane. Is there any mention of gender? No.

Why do these guys spend so much of their time railing against things that don’t actually happen? Possibly because the only way to make the case that men are more oppressed than women is to just plain make shit up?

98 replies on “Are women really demanding that men give up bus seats to them just because they’re women? A WHTM investigation”

I’ve spent many decades regularly using public transport (I still don’t have a car to this day) and, like everyone else above, I have never once seen a woman demand that a seat be given up to her just because she’s a woman and for no other reason.

And I suspect that if such a thing had ever happened, I’d have remembered it vividly, not least because it would be so unusual.

(Obviously, this doesn’t include visibly pregnant women, or women struggling with small children and associated paraphernalia, politely asking if someone might give up their seat, but I don’t think that’s what’s being talked about here.)

The most disturbing thing I ever saw on public transport happened to be on the New York City subway. A man ‘s eyeball was precariously hanging out of its eye socket. His eyeball was attached to its eye socket by the thinnest little bit of tissue.

I’d forgotten about that until now.

I’ve had men offer their seats. Usually Chicano or older Eastern European men, people who were raised to be courtly toward women.

And since I’m often on public transit these days with small children, more people will offer to let us sit, which is kind, and also practical.

When I was pregnant, it was a little awkward–I’m a big woman, and didn’t show much until very late in the pregnancy. I once took one of the ‘please yield’ seats that was free, and an older (non-teetery) man came on later, and said with a nasty smile, “Boy, I guess you’re sitting down! Must feel good!” I didn’t feel like showing my ultrasounds, and he didn’t say, you know, “May I have that seat if you don’t need it,” so I just smiled, and agreed.

But all the women I know would agree that expecting some dude give you his seat simply because you’re a woman and he’s a dude would be a truly dickish move.

Things I’ve seen on transit:

Men giving tired drivers endless shit for missing a stop, when the next stop is a block away

Men spreading into other people’s space

Men being loudly creepy to women

Men being quietly creepy to women

Men looking at me with lust, murder, or both in their eyes

Men being loudly racist

Men being loudly drunk

Men being so drunk they shat themselves and I had to get off the bus before I puked

Men threatening violence

Men threatening rape

Men smoking when it was clearly prohibited, and arguing with the driver when called out

Men cursing at each other

Men cursing at me

Men opening switchblades in front of my girlfriend and me, casually and without care, close enough to flood my body with adrenaline

Men yelling at “their girl”, and gripping her in ways I knew would leave bruises

Men complaining about not enough sex

Men complaining about “girl logic”

Men complaining about how they left a woman right as she was about to fuck them, because she turned to be a fan of the wrong baseball team

I’ve seen a woman make trouble on a bus just once. And she was clearly mentally ill, and kept it verbal and not particularly threatening. Every single other time it’s been men. And in a lot of ways I’ve been very privileged as far as exposure to male violence.

And these guys have the sheer nerve to complain about women being rude in buses.

Patriarchy… It’s a hell of a drug. 🙁

OT, but: the concern that the US is going full Nazi seems to be spreading beyond just WHTM and other sites that would probably be characterized as “far left”:

I think even NBC has now made a Nazi Germany comparison. So, reputable news and charity organizations are waking up.

I occasionally asked for a seat early enough in pregnancy that I wasn’t showing, because pregnancy drops my blood pressure to the 80/50 range and that makes me dizzy and faint. I always mentioned the pregnancy, but I guess if someone was obsessively watching from a distance it could look like I was asking for a seat for no reason. I didn’t exclusively ask men though; I asked whoever was nearby when I got dizzy.

In my experience, women were about twice as likely to offer me their seat when I was visibly pregnant. The exception was teenagers. All the teens who noticed me offered a seat.

Men seem to prefer offering me their seat when I’m not visibly pregnant and wearing a dress and heels.


Yeah, I saw a tweet of Michael Godwin of Godwin’s Law fame being shared around saying “Yeah, these dudes are pretty much Nazis.” It might have been in the context of Charlottesville though.

Either way, this has definitely caught people’s attention in a way that I don’t think the Trumpers expected.

OT, but I felt like sounding off, The Toronto Star continues to troll me by publishing codswallop like this:

The choice quote:

Under the old rules, social status was elevated when you endured the travails and offences of life without complaint. You called upon authorities to deal with injustices only when you couldn’t rectify them yourself.

Under the new rules, your status is elevated the extent to which you claim to suffer systemic discrimination due to race, gender and the like. Escalation of conflict situations to higher authorities—such as courts or university equity offices—is often immediate.

This is possibly the whitest thing I’ve seen anybody write since The Buttercream Gang.

Whoever this guy is, I’ve got three freakin’ words for you, man: Idle No More. Seriously, the aboriginal people in Canada go through the worst systemic prejudice Canada has internalized, routinely incarcerated, children placed in foster care, substance abuse issues ignored etc. Then when they grab the media spotlight the same way Lindsay Shepherd did, they were met with overwhelming racism and derision from even members of the mainstream press.

I guess this guy just wants them to keep languishing, but not complain about it. That’s reserved for blonde-haired white women who get in trouble for sucking at their job.

This reminds me of the bit from Watchmen where Rorschach is fantasizing about all the ‘corrupt’ people begging him to save them, because he longs to tell them, ‘no.’ The MGTOW are desperate for situations where women are demanding something of them, to make GTOW a real thing. It isn’t good enough to say they don’t need women, they must also pretend that their stand is an act of defiance. Women must be portrayed as demanding in order for the MGTOWs to feel satisfied.

Public Transport is pretty chill here, it seems.

Obviously never seen the MGTOW-non-scenario, though I was once almost assaulted by a very angry man (maybe in his late fifties?) who was shouting “Can’t you see I’m disabled?!?!?” which really wasn’t apparent, plus I had my back to him when he walked up. Anger issues aside, there was no telling!

Major pet peeve, people not moving to the back of the bus when it’s getting crowded. Like, come on people, we’re all in this together, let’s utilize the space we’ve got so that as many of us can get where we need to go, why is that so hard?

@Surplus to Requirements

I’ve certainly been doing my share of reading up on pre-Nazi Germany and the rise of Hitler to power, and it all seems similar if not identical to the surge the Alt Right is experiencing.

Even the narrative they are using is exactly the same. I hadn’t read actual Nazi propaganda before, and I didn’t know that whole concept of “Cultural Marxism” is nothing more than the re-purposed version of “Cultural Bolshevism”. Or that those vapid accusations of “globalists” were the same in essence as Hitler’s accusations of the “International Jewry”.

As I was saying before, they need to be impeached straight away. At this point it’s only going to get worse from here on out.

I remember reading about a cat somewhere in the UK – Plymouth, I think – who liked to ride the public bus. In fact, I think the cat’s owner was annoyed by this odd habit. The cat would get on the bus, ride for awhile, then get off, miles away from its home.

Dormousing It:

I’ve heard a couple of stories like that, but usually the owners’ reaction was to have no idea their cat was doing this until they saw him/her on the news…..

Once I lost my car to an accident and was going without while I saved up, and I used the bus a bit – but I never made a dude move so I could sit down. The buses I took were mostly empty anyhow, but even if they’d been full up, I wouldn’t make anybody move. It’s called manners.

That’s why people giving up their seats to help others doesn’t bother me, either. But when men specifically give up their seats for women because they are women, it’s weirdly old-fashioned at best — and at worst, a harassment tactic, judging from the stories here about being some creeper’s target after he gives up his seat.

I’m glad I have a car. I can sing as obnoxiously loud and badly as I want, and no one gets upset. 🙂

The weirdest thing I’ve ever seen on public transit was one time in Tokyo when a man rode a skateboard down the center aisle of a train. Other than that (and once getting robbed on an AC Transit bus in Oakland) my public transit experiences have been relatively boring.

I’ve used public transport for decades. R and I do own a car now, but I don’t drive, plus we both work and it’s only one car, so I spend a fair bit of time on trains and buses.
I remember a guy repeatedly whacking himself on the top of his head on one bus, yelling (approximately) “Wah-bow!” over and over. To this day we use “wah-bow!” when someone is behaving oddly. And coming back on the train at night-time there are plenty of strange and disturbing things. I am sometimes grateful for the security detail, as a woman travelling alone (and a very tired woman at that).
There are all kinds of people who behave like assholes on public transport, and although I’ve never seen a woman demand a seat purely on the basis of her gender, I guess it’s not beyond the realms of possibility (and some people here have witnessed it).
I do love that this is all it takes for the kid in the cartoon to start thinking mgtow 🙂

I used to drive a bus and can confirm that this literally never happens. Ever.

I have (politely) threatened to kick a guy off unless he moved to the other side of the bus from the girl he wouldn’t leave alone when she’d told him to multiple times. I asked the Gideons to either stop handing out Bibles or get off once because I considered my passengers to be a captive audience. I (not-so-politely) threatened to call the cops on a dude who was hitting on me when I was working late around the fifth time he leaned in my bus without getting on at the same stop to talk to me. But a woman demanding a man’s seat for being a woman? Nope. Not a thing.

Add me to the list of people who haven’t seen women demanding bus seats because they’re women.

I’ve seen a woman yelling at a man who left a window open when she wanted it closed. He got mad in return, and the argument was bothering people, so I asked her if she wanted to change seats – my idea was to intervene in a non-escalating but “look, people are noticing you” way – and it worked in this case. She gave him a few angry looks, but stopped arguing.

Now, I’m sure I’m biased due to being an Evil Femoid: my thoughts about this were, “Well, she seems grumpy for whatever reason,” and not, “Aha! Part of an epidemic of women demanding things from men!”

Oh, and one thing that’s nice about buses here is that people line up at the stop instead of just bunching together. My former counselor told me this wasn’t usual in other cities, but I don’t know whether she meant within Canada or in the U.S. I’m skeptical of the myth that Canadians are politer than Americans, but something like this might be part of the origin story for that particular stereotype. Do people usually line up for buses in American cities? What about other continents?*

*If you’re in the UK, you might make a “queue,” not a line. 🙂

(Obviously, this doesn’t include visibly pregnant women, or women struggling with small children and associated paraphernalia, politely asking if someone might give up their seat, but I don’t think that’s what’s being talked about here.)

Oh, shoot, that reminds me of one of the worst times on the train.

Normally, when traveling with small children, if the layout of free seats is such that everybody can sit but you’ll be separated from one or more small children, people will jump up and offer to switch. You don’t need to ask, they offer. Except this one time, the only two free seats were separated by a man, let’s call him Mr. Douchey Entitled. I seat the four year old in one, Mr. D. Entitled doesn’t move over as I expect and, somewhat surprised in a low-key way, I ask if he minds moving over exactly one seat so I can sit next to my kid. “No, I’m sitting here.”

Um, wow, okay. So I sat down next to him. Immediately, my niece asked for an orange. I took one out of my bag, peeled it slightly, handed it over. She handed it back and asked for me to peel it a little more. I did, handed it over. She handed back the peel, bit by bit as she took it off. The guy in the middle never said a word. I never said a word, but inside I’m thinking “You know, this would never have happened if you’d just moved over a little like literally everybody else.” (And I do mean literally everybody else. I never, ever had this problem at any other time, even when the girls were as old as ten and eleven. People always offer to let you sit next to your kids if they can do this just by switching seats. Sometimes they’ll do it even if they have to stand, if the child is small enough.)

I know it seems relatively minor, and it probably is, but even now I look back and think: what a freaking asshole. Somehow, he tops the list, even before the guy who dumped his leftover chinese food outside the door, upside down and the guy I saw masturbating in another car of the train.

On manspreading: In the interest of scrupulous fairness, I feel I should point out that while women virtually never sit with their legs wide open, it is VERY common for two women sitting together to angle themselves so they sort of face each other, with the end result being that two women occupy three seats. Which is one thing when the bus/train is mostly empty (likewise with putting your bag on the seat, which people of all sexes/genders do) but when it crowds up – move! And lots of people oh-so-cleverly situate themselves on a four-person bench in such a way that they have a small buffer zone on either side, and then won’t move over when the bus/train gets crowded, meaning that only three people can sit down on that bench. Those people can drop dead.

The most disturbing thing I ever saw on public transport happened to be on the New York City subway. A man ‘s eyeball was precariously hanging out of its eye socket. His eyeball was attached to its eye socket by the thinnest little bit of tissue.

I’d forgotten about that until now.

How could you possibly forget that? I’m going to sit here and assume you’re making that up.

Like many here I’ve been a daily public transporter for years. The only time that bears any resemblance to the mgtow delusion was when a woman who had stood for a journey after I’d got on before and got a seat said to me in a sarcastic tone as we were getting off ‘well done on showing such good manners offering your seat’.

It was my first day at a new job and hilariously we walked to the same building. The rest of the day I was second guessing myself as to whether there was some obvious pointer that I should have offered my seat that I’d missed. I never saw that woman again though.

The entirety of my top 5 worst bus rides ever including drunk pukers, aggressive speed highs and annoying rude teens involved other men

The weirdest thing I ever saw on public transport was a guy who got on the train in Lyon, France, brandishing a pennywhistle. He yelled “JE SUIS FOU!” and proceeded to screech on the pennywhistle at top volume. Passengers scrambled for the next car, covering their ears. It was awesome to behold. I was almost disappointed when my stop came up.

I sat next to a womanspreader on the train a few days ago. This was the first time I’ve ever encountered the rare female version of the manspreader! She had her right ankle over her left knee, and I had to scrunch up a bit because her right leg was encroaching on my space. Inconsiderate!


This is possibly the whitest thing I’ve seen anybody write since The Buttercream Gang.

I was reading some stuff on california weapon laws recently, as you do, and found endless reams of whiney writing from people who were deeply offended that the evil victim-disarming oppressive liberal government scum wouldn’t let them have the 50 caliber machine guns that god and the founding fathers intended all americans to own, etc. There was this wonderful signature line on one particular forum:

Discretionary issue [of concealed weapon permits] is the new separate but equal

Maybe the liberals took their sense of perspective, too?

Maybe you won’t see this because it’s a little while since you left the comment and it’s completely off topic and not really that big a deal, I’m just curious. Kupo, why do you have so much disgust for Ready Player One? Like it was utterly mediocre and definitely had a number of problematic tropes but it felt like silly writer wish-fulfillment to me. I read about four books a week sometimes more depending(like now cuz I’m not really doing any internet, well I’m not doing news. This website is borderline and since the community here is so kind I don’t think it will make me upset.)So I read it because of all the hype and I’m a huge geek so I thought I’d like it. I didn’t really, it was a waste of time because it was utterly mediocre. But I’ve noticed the number of people who identify strongly as feminists seem to have a lot of, I don’t know exactly what word I’m looking for, contempt, distaste, in some cases downright hatred even seems appropriate.

Why is that? Is it just the problematic video game tropes and objectifying women cuz that’s in so so so many books but this one seems to get much more anger than any I can think of recently. I’d really just like to know what I’m missing.

I’d love if anyone else can chime in I’m just responding to kupo cuz she mentioned seeing someone smiling while reading it as a point in her comment like that was bad and strange LOL. Hope everyone’s having a lovely beginning of summer I’m going to sleep have a good day all

The one time I can recall seeing a woman (or anyone) demand someone else’s seat on a bus, it was an older woman trying to oust a woman with a stroller; and she didn’t just want a seat, she wanted to berate that woman with the stroller for being on the bus taking her child to daycare, instead of staying at home with a husband supporting them. The woman with the baby was Jamaican, I think; the old woman was white – I’m pretty sure her motive was actually racism, but she was cunning enough to stick to dogwhistles so the driver wouldn’t be able to kick her off the bus. At one point someone nearby tried to calm things down by offering up their set, but the old woman refused it, at which point I think anyone who might have had some sympathy for her realized she didn’t actually *want* a seat, she just wanted the other woman to be forced to give up hers.

I once sat next to a guy who kept telling me about the glass eye he’d just mailed to his uncle; he even showed me the receipt. If it was an attempt at flirtation it was definitely one of the weirder techniques I’ve seen.

The best thing I ever overheard on a bus was somebody talking about the local music scene and complaining of some acquaintance: “Hardcore?! He wouldn’t know hardcore if he bit into a frozen apple!” No wait, the best thing I ever overheard was the stoner telling his buddy about “this stuff called ‘absence’ that they have in France; apparently it really fucks you up.”


* Someone smiling while reading Ready Player One, for some reason

Truly we live in the darkest timeline.

(Even reading excerpts from that book makes me wince, and it’s generally tough to make me go “cringe” at anything.)

I have not read the book or seen the movie, so my distaste for it is from reading reviews and from having read a poem by Ernest Cline. The issues that turned me off the most from the reviews:
* Transphobia
* Misogyny
* White washing
* Terrible writing

I once sat next to a dead body at a bus stop for 15 minutes. Obviously I didn’t realize they were dead until the bus driver helped me try unsuccessfully to wake them up by leaning on the horn, & I then realized they weren’t breathing.

I’ve also had several drunk men fall asleep on my shoulder on the bus late at night. In hindsight, some of them might have been doing the heroin nod.

Oh, & I’ve never seen a woman demand a seat. I have had men voluntarily get up to give me their seats. I’d always politely refuse when I was able-bodied, but since I now have an invisible disability (spinal cord injury, eventually learned to walk again), I now gratefully take advantage of their benevolent sexism/chivalry.

In other news on marginal male oppression,

A small women-only holiday resort opened in Finland last weekend, a few months after it was first announced. This enterprise has made local MRAs irate, and the gender equality ombudsman was asked to investigate whether this is illegal discrimination. Verdict: it’s not (statement linked in Finnish).

The statement says that a reasonable exception to the law applies, since

1) The purpose of the service is to provide a physically tight-knit and socially relaxed holiday community, which purpose would be practically constrained by needs of “modesty and privacy” if both men and women were present.* The place is run by the US company SuperShe that specializes in women’s networking venues around the world.

2) There is a particular need for venues providing this kind of social networking environment for women, who often have a high need of bodily privacy in the company of men. The guests are going to be mostly international, often coming from more conservative cultural backgrounds.

*I figure that if exceptions are made consistently on the grounds of a practical need, they will only ever apply on some non-essential niche services and therefore there’s no need for the practical need to be particularly pressing. For example, this resort is one five-hectare coastal island in an area full of mostly uninhabited small islands.

I took the bus today.

Tragically, when I got on it was less than half full. I tried to force a man to vacate his seat for me anyways but he must have had some sort of masculine repulsor field because I somehow ended up sitting in one of the empty seats instead.

Will try again this afternoon. The tyranny has to stop!

25+ years riding the trains (varying from the upscale suburb-to-downtown Metra lines to the grim-and-gritty CTA), maybe 5 consistently riding buses in the suburbs. I have never once witnessed anything resembling that exchange, either.

I have, however: met a guy who spent most of the trip explaining, in extensive detail, why it was important to understand that he was Aztec, not Mexican; witnessed innumerable guys using the gap between the trains as an open-air urinal; encountered several guys (and it’s ALWAYS guys for this one) who think the ‘no smoking’ signs are just polite suggestions; seen numerous individuals of all genders who are willing to yank on the emergency cord because they were too self-absorbed to realize their stop was coming up; reported to the cops two guys (and yes, they were Cubs fans coming home from a game) who were on my train car who were so drunk they could barely stand, yet were obviously going out to their car to drive home from the end of the line.

I think this is a good thread to share this video. It’s Tracey Ullman on “new charity”, Feminists Who Ruin Things Men Used to Like. The bit where she pronounces the acronym made me snort – “your donations to FWRTMUTL have already funded Ocean’s 8…”

I’ve never seen a woman try to make a man move from his seat on Saskatoon Transit.

I was on a bus that got t-boned at a T intersection when a woman was unable to stop her car because of winter ice. (There’s an apartment building at that intersection that has been hit twice over the years by bad drivers. In the second incident the driver was actually captured by Centre Mall security after he fled on foot.)

I’ve seen drunks removed from buses, including one who fell flat on his face when the cops walked him out the door. I saw a high or drunk young woman, possibly a teen, make it off the bus before she collapsed. And I recently saw a guy asleep on a bus, who when I came back half an hour later was being loaded into an ambulance.

Recently a woman pissed off one of the bus drivers by standing in the back door, keeping it open , so her friend could catch the bus.

A couple of years back I spotted a condom draped over the divider near the rear door of a bus. Obviously I didn’t check to see if it was used or not.

And of course there’s the stuff people talk about, like what appeared to be a 13 year old kid talking about fisting. I hope he didn’t have a clue what that actually is. People discussing their court dates, their problems with Social Services, their fights with their landlords, and other personal business that you really shouldn’t be discussing in front of strangers. After all you don’t know who might be listening.

I’m reminded of an old line from Diana Rigg in something-or-other that escapes me:

Woman gets on bus, says “Make way for a pregnant woman!”
The old lady in the next seat pats her on the hand and asks “And how long have you been pregnant, dear?”
Response: “Fifteen minutes, but ain’t it exhausting!”

But in real life, no. I remember being told by my parents when I was young, “Stand up and give that lady your seat”, but that was in Britain and a long, long time ago.

Well I haven’t seen the movie because I thought the book was utterly adequate like the epitome of adequate. Not good not bad just fine. But I heard from a bunch of people who liked the book more than me but are still not obsessed with it like some people seem to be(I truly don’t understand the hype surrounding it at all)that the movie was utterly whitewashed, but not the book.

The main character is a straight white male in what seems like a case of straight up writer wish-fulfillment. But they make a whole point of the second main character being a black female who’s lesbian and she even brings up points about how the virtual reality system in the book that is essentially the internet but * 1000, you can portray yourself as a straight white dude like some authors use pseudonyms and other things black men and women have had to do throughout history. And actually discusses how her mom told her to do that so she would have more opportunities. The book actually does address some progressive issues but I heard the movie completely ignored every single tiny good thing the book had. And the book definitely wasn’t particularly progressive at all but there were parts that I was slightly surprised and pleased by.

So if you’re basing your dislike on the movie I would say it is completely warranted, if you’re basing your dislike solely on the book I really don’t think it’s that bad. I found it worth 2 hours of my time. I’ll never read it again, but I’m not upset I read it like I was about the 3 hours I’ll never get back I spent reading The DaVinci Code LOL.

Thanks for the links I’ll check them out when I get home. Thanks for answering my question. I hope you and everyone else have a lovely night and tomorrow
Later, Katie

Most of the reviews I read were from the book, and I checked movie reviews to see if it might have done better but it sounded like not. Thing is, I have little time or patience for white dude writers anymore. They’re just boring and they don’t write women well and rarely can I even get through their books. And the excerpts I read from Ready Player One were painful. I read slowly so I’m going to have to dedicate time to this shit. And why, when I enjoy reading women so much more? I’ll take an N K Jemisin novel instead.

Regular public transport user her – bus and trains – and I’ve never seen a woman demanding a seat purely for being a woman. Older people have given me hassle for being apparently able-bodied and young, despite my walking stick. Some of the buses now have single seats at the front and I try to get that if I can so I have my space and peace. My autism makes sharing seats painful.

Kupo you made a really good point that I don’t consider enough when discussing reading with people. To use “sjw talk” as the morons we discuss on this site would say LOL, I have reading privilege. I can read a thousand page book in 24 hours if I really really want to.

Like when the newest George RR Martin book came out a dance of dragons I read that cover to cover only getting up to pee. And it took me maybe 12 hours. And my job is very malleable in terms of time so I can really read 8 hours a day everyday if I choose and I usually do.

I was not recommending the book at all to be clear. It just seemed like people absolutely hated it and I didn’t get that cuz it just seemed utterly mediocre but if you don’t have that much time to read, why would you read something mediocre? And speaking of NK jemisin, I just reread the fifth season trilogy again because it is just so incredibly brilliant. I do think there are good straight white male writers, George RR Martin as everyone knows LOL plus I adore John Scalzi and Scott Lynch. I really like Rothfuss too but I know that’s disputed, Brandon sanderson’s older stuff is again pretty mediocre, Mistborn is half-assed decent, but his new Stormlight Archive Saga is the only thing of his I think that’s worth reading. That’s the only thing of his I would truly recommend to someone.

But I definitely believe they have a much much much larger percentage of the market share than they deserve. I do think there are talented straight white male authors obviously just like every other group of people but I can see why going into the fantasy section and seeing 90% of the books being by straight white men might put you off them even if the books are good.

Thanks for your comprehensive answer I really appreciate it and I hope you’re doing well. I honestly truly appreciate it even more because maybe it’s just my insecurities but I always thought you were one of the commenters here that didn’t like me. Not like you hated me or anything but you just found me annoying and uninteresting was what I thought but if that was true you probably would have ignored me and you didn’t so that seems to point to me being wrong. Everyone have a lovely day.


Just my two cents on ready player one. Didn’t read the book, though my gf did (she was pretty disappointed with it). The movie is, in a word, trite. It’s also jarringly disconnected from reality in a really inappropriate way, a way that really shows the writer as growing up with significant racial and wealth privilege. The ending where the “bad guy” gets caught by the “good cops”, especially in a world of militarized police, criminalized skin colour and legalized white (collar) crime, is jarring. We need to start conversations about these things using media, not glaze over them or write them out of existence.

Speaking of being written out of existence, Aech’s queer identity was completely ignored/erased in the movie, which is shocking since it apparently played a big part in the book. Of course this is where “libertarians” and the like would interject something about “don’t shove your gay in people’s faces” and something-something nobody assumed she was straight, heteronormativity doesn’t real (which is ironic considering these are the exact same people who scream at a fever pitch about free speech).

Back on topic, I have also never seen this ever occur and I have been using transit since birth. I’ve been lucky/privileged enough to not encounter any dangerous situations, just creepy dudes asking why I don’t smile more.

I’m sorry I came off that way! I don’t find you annoying or dislike you. If I don’t always respond it could be that I don’t have the energy or didn’t see it (I don’t always read all the replies in a thread when responding). Or sometimes because I don’t feel like I have anything interesting to add. Occasionally because I can’t parse your message well (sometimes your comments pack a lot of info and it takes me time to unpack).

But if I didn’t like you, you would know it. I would say something before I’d start ignoring you. And I’d only feel that way if I felt like you were pushing boundaries and doubling down on it. That’s really the thing all the commenters I’ve disliked have had in common. And I don’t recall you ever doing anything like that. On the contrary, I appreciate the perspective you bring to the discussion even if I don’t always agree.

Take care!

Oh thanks a lot Kupo, that’s a perfectly reasonable reason, not trying to be redundant LOL. As I’ve said it a thousand times I don’t know why but I just can’t be concise I’m literally incapable of it. I always feel like to make things clear cuz I can also be bad at clarity, I need to add as many details as possible. I know that that can also decrease clarity so it’s like a catch-22 LOL. Also I totally agree with your girlfriend I was disappointed because I found the book trite and mediocre after all the hype I was utterly disappointed

Which brings me to this is a good time to thank everyone who reads my essay comments asking for advice or information and actually answers them comprehensively and kindly and interesting and amusingly and lots of other awesome adjectives.

I’m doing what I said and just not doing news especially with the thing about Kennedy we all knew was coming but still I’m just not well can’t do it. I’ve been reading and as EJ said, (Thank You EJ) new activists which I definitely am one of, do tend to experience burnout like I’m feeling very often. It is completely normal. Google says I should just chill for a bit and then slowly start getting back involved when I feel like I can.

Recently, a woman in my country took pictures of a guy who didn’t give up his seat for her on a train. He slept through the whole journey and was clearly exhausted. The woman then posted the pictures on Facebook along with an elaborate rant on how boorish and “un-gentlemanly” the guy was. Her post was met with severe criticisms from both men and women.

Personally, I believe it’s up to the men if they want to give up their seat for women. It would be nice (I’m saying this because I’m a woman), but they shouldn’t be obliged to do that. We fight for gender equality, yet some of us demand that men give up their seats for us. Something’s wrong there, in my opinion.

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