By David Futrelle
There is a certain tension in the lives of many MGTOWs. More specifically, in their pants. Despite their oft-stated goal of Going Their Own Way in a manly fashion, thus freeing themselves from the tyranny of women, these men would still very much like to be having sex with the women they have Gone Their Own Way from, just without the tyranny bit.
One ingenious fellow on MGTOW.com has come up with a solution to this rather daunting problem that seems to take its inspiration from man’s best friend.
In a post on the forum, mgtowSA acknowledges that the desire of men like him to stick their penises into women is a strong one — and reminds his fellow MGTOWs who feel the same way that
we all know that the current system we operate under has succeeded in exploiting and manipulating our sex drive to turn us into slaves. And women are the main agents of this system. So our dilemma has always been how to cope with this sex drive in a way that does not lead to f~~~ing women and then having to deal with the resultant problems that inevitably arise.
And no he doesn’t mean “the wet spot on the bed.” He means the apparently hypnotic power of the vagina, which gives those possessing one the power to enslave hapless MGTOWs and other sex-hungry men.
But there is a way out!
I’m currently involved in a fwb situation. However I have not had sex with her nor do I intend to.
Wait, you may wonder: how is this a friends-with-benefits situation if there are no benefits?
Well, prepare to have your mind blown.
What we do is something called outercourse. This is in essence doing everything except vaginally or anal penetration. In my case I don’t even allow oral sex for obvious reasons. So what generally happens is that we’ll grind on each other and she will cum but I don’t. After she leaves I proceed to the bathroom and rub one out to get rid of the pent up tension.
That’s right, we’re talking DRY HUMPING.
No risk of pregnancy, std or losing power which is usually how we men end up in the misery that is a relationship.
How can you lose your man powers if you don’t even touch that evil vagina with its secret hypnotizing goo?
You see brothers women need sex more than we do. If not physically then to be able to gain power over us. We have all learnt the hard way that once you give a woman sex you’ve essentially given her the ball and chain to clasp around you. Withholding sex is a weapon that they’ve used to great effect to enslave many men. It’s time we used the same weapon against them.
You want the penis? YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE PENIS.
If you don’t have sex with a woman she’ll have no leverage over you.
That’s right; she can only have power over you if she actually lays her hands or mouth on your penis, or if you stick said penis inside of her hypnotizing vagina (or butt). Engaging in a frustrating sexual activity that ends with you jerking off over a toilet is the best and most effective way to keep the upper hand, because clearly there is nothing more alpha than running to the bathroom to jerk it after your dry-humping buddy leaves the apartment wondering how and why she ever got herself involved with a huge weirdo like you.
I admit that this approach does require a certain amount of willpower but the fear of what could potentially happen to you should you do the wild mamba with her should be enough to keep you away from that course of action.
Alas, most of mgtowSA’s brothers in MGTOW were unable to appreciate his bold new vision.
“That’s like saying since I’m trying to avoid eating fruit, I only eats their skins,” wrote someone called Jackinov. “You’re still eating fruit no matter which way you cut it.”
“I think you’re fooling yourself,” a fellow calling himself OldBill agreed.
Outercourse, frottage, dry humping, whatever you want to call it has been around as long as there have been mammals and has been observed in too many species to count. You’re fooling yourself if you think you’re somehow doing it for a new reason.
Ok, but maybe those dumb animals aren’t dry humping in an alpha enough way.
It doesn’t matter that only she orgasms or that you wait to orgasm until after she leaves because you are still performing an act which requires her presence at some point in time.
Well, he’s got a point here. You can’t spell “dry humping a lady” without L-A-D-Y.
You’re running around giving yourself high fives because you never penetrated or came near her while she’s smiling because she’s still an integral part of the sex acts you do perform and thus still has power over you.
Not even several layers of clothing can protect you from the power of the hypnotizing vagina!
You may have convinced yourself that is not the case, but no woman is going to stick around for a bunch of dry hump sessions unless she’s playing the long game.
That, or she’s just really really bored.
Someone called Ranger One, meanwhile, offered a sex alternative involving several pillows and a Fleshlight, which he felt was preferable to both his “Nina Chan 8-lb fake pussy” and actual sex with his actual (alleged) girlfriend.
[B]y making a stack of 3-4 pillows and wedging the Fleshlight inbetween the top pillow and the 2nd pillow I get even better results than the Nina Chan.
So order of preference:
1) Fleshlight wedged between pillows
2) real sex with gf
3) Nina Chan fake pussy
4) fleshlight in handNow it was a toss up between 2 & 3, because while real sex is better, I don’t need to worry about the Nina Chan getting off. Its sort of a balance.
Second place! That’s pretty good. This dude’s girlfriend must consider herself the luckiest girl alive.
The other side of the scale (the platonic side) is getting to do stuff with someone else and not having it cost me extra… for example sharing the burden of a long drive for a vacation — for example, the 7 hr drive to Boston. Splitting the cost of a hotel room, etc.
So when this Man Going His Own Way Who Goes Quite A Way to Boston on Holiday (MGHOWWGQAWTBOH) actually drives seven hours to Boston he does so with his girlfriend in the car because she’s willing to spit the cost of gas?
Ranger One might not be much of a MGTOW but he’s definitely in the running for Boyfriend of the Year!
I really don’t have anything more to add, but here’s a scene from Wet Hot American Summer that is strangely relevant to the discussion. (The scene makes a little bit more sense if you’ve seen the rest of the movie.)
I don’t know. Aside from having to put up with this idiot’s company for a small amount of time, this woman is apparently getting foreplay-to-climax on some sort of a regular basis. True it’s his reporting that she is climaxing, but let’s for argument’s sake consider it’s true. He thinks he is taking advantage of and using her, but it sounds like not an entirely bad deal – for her.
Pretty sure if having sex can enslave you, your junk has way too much power over your life as is
Look, I’m not exactly an expert on what sex is or isn’t, but… Bruh…
Ya know what? Nevermind, would rather go the rest of my life not knowing
TIL, most hetero relationships don’t start with a mutually enjoyable coffee date, or meeting at a party, or chat online, or even safe and consensual one night stand. Nope, apparently transfers of gametes, viruses, and, vaguely, power. That’s where the magic happens
Thing is, statistically speaking, there prolly are quite a few MGTOW dudes reading that who’re definitely into having the ball and chain clasped around them but are too repressed and toxically masculine to discuss it with a partner. Would rather have frustrated spite sex than consider the act could be fun for all parties
Also, if you actively and proudly admit to this stuff on a public forum, it’s likely nobody will ever be able to have leverage over you again. If for no other reason than you lack the capacity for shame
Does… does he mean mambo? Like the dance?
Well, that sounds like, uh, fun–or something.
“You see brothers women need sex more than we do.”
To be honest, I’m doing perfectly fine without having sex with these guys.
Talk about half-assed compromise between a sex doll and masturbation sleeve.
I really don’t give a toss what two (or more) consenting adults do to each other in private. If they prefer dry-humping to penetrative sex, more power to them.
However, if the motivation for said dry-humping is simply to prevent the male party from becoming a borgified drone, enslaved to the whims of his partner/hivemind-controlling queen, I’d say the male party actually needs to stop writing fantasy scenarios on the internet, for the benefit of like-minded dullards.
So women are the main agents of this system.
I have to know: Who are the other agents?
Men? What men? Where? When, how, why?
@Axecalibur: no, he means you have to bring one of the most venomous snakes in the world into the bedroom and perform sex acts with it. No wonder he’s so scared!
I’m not wild about the description of what this guy and his fwb do as a ‘frustrating sexual activity‘. I get that he probably isn’t as physically satisfied as he could be (though plenty of fetishists masturbate after the ‘main event’ rather than cumming during it so delayed orgasm is not inherently inferior) and David was describing it from the mgotw’s point of view.
However, that phrase could also be read as dismissing dry humping as inherently frustrating and that’s something to avoid because
1) it isn’t frustrating for everyone, some people love it
2) in this case, the woman is having an orgasm so it’s at least equivalent to the vast amount of piv sex which results in the man only cumming. We don’t generally give up on piv as a whole for that reason, we adapt and improve
3) there’s a tendency to elevate penetration above all other forms of sex which erases lots of people’s favoured forms of sexual expression
4) dry humping is safe sex and this should be encouraged
It’s not the most important issue in the world, but it’s good to be careful how we describe sex.
I’m having flashbacks to Without A Clue:
Watson: “Well, one is a deadly snake, and the other’s a rather festive Caribbean dance.”
And while I’m quoting movies:
Ripper: “I don’t avoid women, Mandrake. But I do deny them my essence.”
Honestly, this whole thing reminds me of coworkers (men) who talk to their spouses on the phone then after the call, feel a need to spin it to everyone in the room. Bare minimum of a *sigh* “Women…” to diffuse any accusation of y’know caring about her.
So this guy has a relationship (in the looser sense) but he has to reframe the interaction internally to make it not contradict his desired self image. Then, he has so convinced himself of the perfection of this scenario, that of course he has to share.
Interestingly, in the Spanish family of languages, the -o ending is generally masculine, while -a is feminine. Looking at mambo/mamba, we see once again a situation where, despite the claims of toxic masculinity, it is the female of the species who is the more powerful and deadlier when mistreated. 🙂
Free will? What’s that?
*sigh* I might just be spitballing here, but I’m getting the impression that this capitalist concept of human interaction as transactional in all instances is not healthy.
Welp, it’s election day here in Ontario. All forecasts point to this province being totally screwed by a Doug Ford Premiership and majority government. One of the peeves I’ve had this election is the opinion polls that show the NDP and Tories “neck and neck”. That’s completely meaningless given the riding breakdown; the Tories will still take 70+ seats despite having only 35% approval! Thanks again, media, for muddling things up for people.
I’ll say this: this election has represented a severe body blow to my confidence in Canadians having any kind of political literacy. It’s one thing for grievance politics to grip the suburbs of Toronto and allow a buffoon like Rob Ford to take over the city once, but to forget the major policy failings of those years and drive straight into a second brick wall is what really has me rending my garments today. Even if Ford loses, the fact that he got this close is cause for dismay.
*sigh* Ah well… on the whole, Ontario survived Harris, it’ll survive Ford. The problem is that not everyone living in Ontario did. As much as everyone else seems to have forgotten Walkerton, I certainly haven’t…..
Oh my goodness, this is brilliant. Most women don’t get orgasms from penis-in-vagina sex. Dry humping is far more likely to induce a female orgasm because it stimulates the clitoris. I can almost never convince a guy to do it with me because it doesn’t feel that good for most men. Most guys just want to stick it in because that’s what feels best for them.
There is a large orgasm gap, where most of the sex straight people are having is the kind that is pleasurable for penises and not for vaginas. This genius with his bizarre warped view of reality has tricked himself into being the unusual guy who is eager to have sex that is more likely to pleasure a vagina than a penis.
Why on earth would she care about that? She’s smiling because she’s found a dude who gives her an orgasm every time. Fricking duh.
Perhaps it’s meant to imply that the tale about humping a refrigerator was a cool story….
What Julia said.
It works for me either way, but I do remember that back in the first year of college, those friends that came with benefits were so ecstatic to be within humping distance, that they were like orgasm dispensers. Those were the laziest, easiest orgasms ever and I didn’t even have to take my clothes off. This guy is being very silly.
“The smell of burning leather as we hold each other tight/
As our rivets rub together sending sparks into the night. . .”
I guess my tyrannical vagina has been working overtime, because Mr. Parasol gave me a wonderful birthday present this week. I’d been grumbling that as a June baby, I’d always gotten pearls for any birthday jewelry, and there are THREE birthstones for June, so why can’t I get a moonstone or an alexandrite something?
Mr. Parasol paid attention. I now have a lovely Celtic knot pendant with an alexandrite as the focus. I keep looking at it in sunlight vs artificial light to enjoy the color change.
Had to share the happiness. 🙂
It’s probably not the smartest idea for people who are smoldering with red-hot anger to engage in activities that involve friction.
Paradoxical Intention – Resident Cheeseburger Slut wrote:
No, it is not weird that you think they have a point, because they do have a point.
The funny thing is, they all are obsessing over women, as otherwise they would not be bothering posting at such a site or bothering to announce that they are “going their own way.” If they were really going their own way, they would simply do so, and not spend their time posting about how they are not in any kind of conventional relationship with a woman. Anyone who posts much at such a site is demonstrating that their lives do revolve around women, even if they are physically at a distance. Men whose lives don’t revolve around women don’t spend a bunch of time posting about how they keep women out of their lives.
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape) wrote:
That is a pretty twisted view of things. The other person’s pleasure does not inherently detract from the pleasure one gets oneself, unless one is a sadist.
This same idea applies to many things; for example, like going to a concert. If I enjoy it, but enjoy it less than someone else who goes to it, do they think that means that I got a bad deal going to the concert? Other people having more or less enjoyment at the concert does not directly affect how much enjoyment I get from it.
Getting back to sex, that attitude you describe is a strange one. Most men regard it as a good thing if their partner enjoys what happens; otherwise, what would be the motive for a woman to fake an orgasm?
Most women don’t get orgasms from penis-in-vagina sex.
This is true and there are certainly plenty of women who simply can’t get orgasms that way. However, I tend to suspect (based on my own experience and that of a lot of women I’ve talked to) that the obstacle for many women is not anatomy, it’s male technique.
After all, we now know that the clitoris extends inside the body and is actually pretty big. I think that a decent number of women could get orgasms if their partner cut back on the jack-hammering and instead used the penis for the woman’s pleasure, responding to her pleasure rather than focusing on his own.
And weirdly inverse to the more usual pretty twisted view of things, in which any sexual activity demeans any woman involved.
Jo wrote:
I think that is true. But the fault is not entirely with men, as some women actively teach men to be bad lovers. Every faked orgasm tells a man that whatever inept thing he did was great, and so he then will likely try the same thing again, as he believes it was effective. Sure, some men can’t handle the truth about their performance, but the end result is that they are taught to be bad that way.
If you want a man to be a good lover, never fake an orgasm with him. Gently tell him what you want him to do. And tell him what you liked that he did (if anything), so that he will do that part again.
Oh, lovely. The site has now lost every comment that was made to the “Reddit’s The Donald” thread last night. Everything since the first mention of that TERF Julie Burchill — gone.
Now are the symptoms severe enough to warrant hitting the big red “reset” button on installing whatever WordPress update or other bit of sysadminry started this escalating breakdown of the site??? Now that we’ve lost the record of an important discussion of TERFs, drag, and blackface? Surely that’s the equivalent of the fatal accident that always seems to be needed to get city councillors off their duff to finally change a treacherous stop-sign intersection to traffic lights?
What was the update for again? GDPR compliance? WHTM isn’t even subject to EU jurisdiction, is it? The server is physically in the US, not the EU. I doubt David is at any serious risk of legal consequences if he rolls back the copy of WordPress this site uses to a non-GDPR-compliant version. And meanwhile, the first GDPR-compliant version is now proved to be not just buggy, but with showstopper bugs severe enough to cause catastrophic data loss. The nebulous fear that the EU might send some kind of GDPR Goon Squad overseas to hassle David (and the slightly more realistic chance that they’ll “block” the site within the EU, forcing EU citizens to change their DNS to 8.8.8.8 or use Tor to get to it) if he rolls the site back to an older version of WordPress is surely outweighed now by the proven danger of further data loss arising from sticking to the current severely buggy version.
COOL STORY, BRO. Too bad I don’t believe it, because migtoe misodges don’t have female friends…”with benefits” or otherwise. They’re too loathsome for a woman to dry-hump, even if she does get off (and he doesn’t, ha ha. What a twist!)
So, today, I’ve seen evidence that they can’t cook, can’t shop for groceries, and also can’t write convincing erotica. No wonder they’re not going their own damn way. They need a woman to do everything for them. Including figuring in their silly shared sex fantasies.