empathy deficit incel men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny self-hatred

Incel dating tip: Make women hate themselves by asking them out

That monster … likes me! Could I be a monster too?

By David Futrelle

Guys who define themselves as “involuntarily celibate” spend rather a lot of their time trying to figure out how to make women as miserable as they are.

And so you find incels regularly advising their celibate colleagues to pointedly ignore all the attractive women in their vicinity. “If u even ACKNOWLEDGE femoids in public ur a bluepilled cuck,” one commenter on recently declared. “Dont give them even the slightest validation, ignore them like nature intended us to.”

Most of his fellow incels agreed. “Yup,” wrote one. “Hurts their ego if nobody looks at them.”

“Giving females attention only benefits them, and not you, so I don’t see why you should,” another agreed.

But one commenter had what he thought was a better idea: Don’t ignore these women. Ask them out! They won’t say yes, obviously. but they might start to worry that they’re as ugly as you are! 

Getlooksordie Recruit - Feb 12, 2018#18 Wrong  As an unattractive guy the greatest insult you can give to a woman is by approaching her. A good pickup line is "I like you. Since we´re in the same league I think it could really work out between us."  After she tells you to fuck off she´ll immediately run to the bathroom to fix herself thinking "why is that ugly guy approaching me? Am I ugly, too???"  Had this exact same thing happen to me IRL so I know.


Incel is weaponized self-hatred.

138 replies on “Incel dating tip: Make women hate themselves by asking them out”

Ok, sounds like a lot of shit that I didn’t really put together since I’m a little on-off here.

Btw I was told on another forum by a self-proclaimed MRA that society only pushes men into making accomplishments, like men has to do stuff to be deemed valuable, whereas women are rewarded for merely existing (i.e., being beautiful, which he thinks all women are, and also are without effort). This guy though is a little interesting as MRA:s go because he can actually listen to feminist arguments and be like “hm, I guess you have a point”, so seems like he’s learning, but still… It’s so weird that someone would actually think that. That women don’t have to accomplish anything, it’s enough for us to just exist.

Also, I have massive job anxiety right now so that comment was really well timed…


Animal reconstructions might be another matter though. Have you seen where they’ve applied the techniques they use on extinct animals to modern animals? The results are, well let’s say, surprising.

Do you have any links? Sounds interesting!

The really annoying thing about Feministguy is that there’s a portion of what he’s saying that’s true and reasonable. People don’t have to have sex or romance to live worthwhile lives, men don’t have to gauge their worth by their sexual conquests. Heck, I’d say those should be shouldn’ts. The amount and type of sex someone has has entirely no relation to the quality of a person they are.

He just mixes it with some reprehensible garbage and is completely unwilling to engage with anything that might confront that. Call X a boundary? Well, unless X is sex-related he’ll bulldoze right over it ’cause he don’t care. Tell him repeatedly that his reasoning places blame squarely on women? His only reply is “nuh-uh” and repetition.

Everything he reads is re-contextualized to fit his campaign. Like, even his first comment in this thread. This one:

What a state they are

1- It isnt ever going to work- why they bother with dating is beyond me

2- Trying to use a womans insecurity to get a date is immoral. Its not okay. Its manipulative.

This article isn’t about incels trying to get dates. It’s about an incel trying to find (creative/stupid) ways to insult women. But feministguy simply has to reframe everything he sees into the framework of “it is impossible for ugly people to get dates, and all incels are ugly.” So he misinterprets the story to wedge it in there, reducing the awfulness of their behaviour by half and repainting it as desperate dues doing something bad for dates (though, notably, engaging in a behaviour that society is a-o-k with).

It’s true that their behaviour isn’t okay, and it is manipulative. But with the feministguy position, it’s also morally grey, because turnabout is fair play. In the argument he’s been trumpeting, incels don’t date because women are superficial; incels can (and do) think that, and feel that everything they do is fair because, again. Turnabout is fair play.

You can say “I respect women” until you’re blue in the face, feministguy, but when you ignore what we say, tell us our self-evaluations are wrong, call us superficial and shallow, and give cover to the violent incels you claim to oppose? Shouting into the wind.

Sorry for the scattered argument, brain is a bit too fuzzy to edit this morning. You gettin’ it raw.

I googled and found an article with these pics, but that article said the drawings are mainly used to illustrate “Hollywood reconstructions”, where artists draw an animal based on the skeleton alone, not really bothering to add muscles, fat etc. It’s not really how real scientists work.

Still, gotta be a lot of room for error for real scientists too.


Thank you for backing my trolldar too. Upon his first comment, I immediately knew he was a sockpuppet. I dont know which one, but his comments in the beginning were almost verbatim of our other sad sack of shit incel.


Almost every thread turns into the feministguy show. And on those threads he intentionally ignores our suggestions, criticisms and BOUNDARIES. Every new thread he comments in he acts like he didn’t shit all over the floor the day before.

If many, especially women, commenters are telling him to go away and he ignores our boundaries then yes, it feels like rapey* behavior. He has been given many chances, more than his last sockpuppet incarnation. He knows what he’s doing and he doesn’t want to stop.

He is a snake in the grass. He is not here to learn. The ghandi thread shows his true colors, he has been trying to not get banned ever since.

I know I’m acting like a dog with a bone but if I see a wolf in sheeps clothing I want to relentlessly call it out, especially since he demands copious amounts of emotional labor from us (see: ghandi thread). I am fucking tired of men that demand our attention to soothe their fee fees. And in this trump world, I have fucking had it.

I emailed david for a ban, but if anybody else would like to email david with more succinct reasons for banhammer please do.

*I am not calling him a rapist nor a rape apologist, but i would not want to be alone with him if this is how he acts irl.

I like Jack Black. I think he seems like he will be fun and always have energy and just fun to spend time together. also he is cute

@ Dvärghundspossen

There’s a good BBC documentary where they tried to get the best reconstruction of what a T-Rex would have actually looked like. They obviously couldn’t pin it down to a definitive look because there’s quite a few variables; but they showed the various more likely ones. My fave is where it looks like a frikkin huge scary magpie.

Swans, dolphin, pig, cow, monkey??????????????? (maybe a baboon???)

wow, that is difficult.

Birds are scary. Just look at a cassowary, or imagine any local bird but huge enough to tower over you. Terrifying. (and those eyes ….)

@ Valentin – Emigrantski Ragamuffin

I like Jack Black.

Ooh, seconded! (I’d also like to see him in more dramatic roles, because he was really interesting in King Kong).

@ opposable thumbs

Answers here; in ROT13 in case anyone else wants to try.

Fcrez junyr

Also, the late Peter Lorre’s definitely on my “if I had a time machine” list. That man could have read pages from a catalogue of gardening tools and made it sound creepy, poignant and hilariously charming, all at once.

moon custafer

someone on Twitter said jack black had dead eyes! I can’t understand it – his eyes are so alive. I also think if he is in a serious film I would like to watch it. I liked king Kong – but seems many people think it is quite bad.🤷

also I like brad dourif – he is good in lord of the rings

Re virginity historically only being important for women – I just recalled Sir Thomas Malory’s ”le morte d’Arthur” which is from the 15th century. Sir Galahad is the purest of the knights because a) he doesn’t like killing people, not even bad guys, and b) he’s a virgin.
Sir Percivald is the second purest, and a virgin too. Number three on the purity list is Sir Bors, who’s middle-aged but still only had sex once.

Is Simon Pegg considered conventionally attractive? Because – Simon Pegg. 😛

And come on … Benedict Bumblesnitch is many things – talented actor, good person, voice like honey slowly dripping in your ear – but conventionally attractive ain’t one of them.



That’s what you get when monks are the only ones who can write stuff down. 😛


Cant there be a middle group between trying to date and moaning on the internet about women.

Cant incels give up dating, but not whine and focus on other stuff instead? Giving up on dating forever doesnt have to equal blaming women and whining.

I dont give “cover” to violent incels. Theres no fucking excuse to violent outbursts towards women. None. Zilch. Nada.


Did you ever watch Dourif on Deadwood? His character was about as far away from Wormtongue as could be. I got into writing fanfic years ago mainly because I shipped Doc (Brad Dourif) and Jewel (Geri Jewell), and nobody else was writing them.

Cant there be a middle group between trying to date and moaning on the internet about women.

Cant incels give up dating, but not whine and focus on other stuff instead? Giving up on dating forever doesnt have to equal blaming women and whining.

There can, but what you’re doing ain’t it.

Cant incels give up dating, but not whine

Not if you’re anything to go by.

moon custafer

no! I never watched it! I will have to find it. I think he is great. I liked death machine very much.


I don’t see why they need to “give up on dating”. As I already made clear, I think if incels want to date they should act on that and ask people out. If they don’t want to date, fine. But I don’t want to hear about how they have no choice, because it’s bollocks. There are men out there with actual physical deformities who are in happy relationships. Men without dicks. Men who are paralysed from the waist down.

It’s insulting, the way incels carry on. “No” is just a word. The world doesn’t end. Yes, you’re right, you can have a good life without sex or dating, but I don’t think any incels doing that would be posting here.

I can’t help noticing you’re talking directly to me, which I guess is cause no-one else is talking to you. I don’t post often, but I read all the threads. 😉

I’m going to stop responding to you now.

I’ve banned feministguy for, well, the reasons for banning him people have been talking about here.


I see what you mean by Cumberbatch but I think he is conventionally attractive.

Tall, suave, good looking and with an army of female admirers…

@ David, for this relief, much thanks!
Conversations about FGuy have been much more interesting than trying to talk to him.

@ Valentin, with you on the Jack Black thing. He combines four things that are each individually very attractive to me: comic talent, musicality, a particular facial type, and a dynamite smile.

Other examples: Mickey Dolenz from the Monkees-

And Jordan Raskopoulos from Axis of Awesome, who in my opinion used to look like Jack’s cooler younger brother (many other fans agreed), and now looks like Jack’s hotter younger sister.

The Axis did some great videos explaining her transition.
One is in comical song:

And one that talks about transness more seriously.


Sorry for spamming this thread with my Jordan Nicola Bridget Raskopoulos love, and embed failures, carry on all.

fuck yes! his smile is dynamite!

also you give some good additional examples of dynamite smiles!

I don’t get incels. One is attempting to drum up support on a forum for asexual people. Because…not wanting sex equals incel? Somehow? But only for men? He confuses me.

My take on “feminist” guy was that he desperately wanted us to award him some cookies for his “groundbreaking” “work” with “incels.” I am happy to see that no cookies were given.

My last straw with him was when he asked whether we thought nature or nurture made people gay.

Cats in Shiny Hats,


There are MGTOWs out there who think men convert to homosexuality to avoid women because women are so terrible these days. Perhaps some incels think that men convert to axexuality because women are too horrible to date them, therefore asexual men must be a natural fit for incel?

Pretty much all you need to know about the manosphere is that women are terrible. Everything bad, including bad male behavior is women’s fault. Everything good, men get all the credit for. All logical inconsistencies in their “philosophies” make sense if you keep that in mind.

My take on “feminist” guy was that he desperately wanted us to award him some cookies for his “groundbreaking” “work” with “incels.” I am happy to see that no cookies were given.

Nah – I gave him credit for that. Sorry. 😛

Shadowplay – Oops! I do remember that now. I guess your cookie must have been ruined by others who tried to explain why what he was doing (or rather the way he was doing it) was still sexist. I can’t disagree that it’s at least a start, though.

Anyway, he kept bringing it up and so it looked to me like he still wanted all the cookies, so I’m not unhappy that he got the banhammer.

If it actually were possible for people to convert to homo- or asexuality, wouldn’t that, plus the horrors of patriarchy, have long since brought about human extinction in a “lesbopocalypse” that zeroed out birthrates? Seems like strong evidence against all supposed “conversion therapies” and arguments that it’s a “lifestyle choice” … though, of course, even if nonhetero sexual orientations were a choice, given they would be choices that didn’t harm others, why should those choices be any skin off anyone else’s nose?

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