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Pee Crier Snub I: Today in Tweets

Goodnight, sweet Reince!

By David Futrelle

It’s been another busy 24 hours in Trumpmerica. Reince Priebus is out, Trump is literally advocating police brutality, and Pickle is a Real Boy.

Let’s go to the tweets:

https://twitter.com/pattymo/status/891041759899394049

After I wrote that I realized “Pee Crier Snub I” was far more accurate.

Hey, it’s the president urging cops to be more abusive!

https://twitter.com/VicBergerIV/status/891007854785818625

https://twitter.com/ParkerMolloy/status/891131743444635653

In what may be the most surprising news of this weird week, it turns out that the 9-year-old kid who wrote to Trump is … real.

https://twitter.com/pattymo/status/891373528498524165

Meanwhile, Trump himself checks in from Bizarro Earth:

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/891253798500487168

A now-iconic scene gets a new soundtrack:

https://twitter.com/ParkerMolloy/status/891003576625106945

And a raccoon gives us this lovely dramatization of the myth of Sisyphus:

https://twitter.com/zboah/status/891337664405934080

I will leave you with this, which somehow takes two wonderful things and turns them into pure horror:

https://twitter.com/EmrgencyKittens/status/891157592894033920

 

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kupo
kupo
4 years ago

@Wooly
How is it fair to all the millions of children who currently live in poverty or have parents in prison? Why should Barron be protected from that life when no one else is?

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
4 years ago

First thought: ‘police should be ‘not so nice’ to prisoners. Is his head really that far up his keester?

If there’s one thing Trump’s good at, it’s telling people what they want to hear. It can work as a political strategy for some time but eventually everyone will be disappointed at you. Trump seems to be genuinely surprised and frustrated by this.

The scary and depressing thing is what certain audiences want to hear.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
4 years ago

No-one deserves to be punished with poverty because their father is a scumbag, holy shit.

I chuckled. Didja know you can cook noodles in a kettle ? It also works for bathwater, as long as you’ve got something larger to act as the tub.

I learned all that when my scumbag father threw my mother and me under the poverty bus. Still a better life than I would’ve had with him. And whatever happens, Barron will never have to learn any of that stuff. He’s insured against poverty for life, no matter what, because that’s what crank welfare is for. Only way he’d lose it is if he grows up to be a decent person – and with that family, I think he’s pretty safe.

So uh, yeah, forgive me but empathy’s a precious and limited resource, and I’m already spending all of mine on, y’know, all those other kids who already do live in poverty because Barron’s father is a scumbag.

Nobody Special
Nobody Special
4 years ago

All of those piling on Wooly with accusations of trolling really ought to read the comment that Wooly was responding to, namely

Gaebolga
July 29, 2017 at 7:15 pm
Honestly, at this point, merely firing the shitweasel isn’t enough. He and his entire family need to be stripped of their wealth and thrown in jail for a few decades.

Not for life, though; they need to be let out so they can live the rest of their lives in abject poverty.

To suggest as Wooly did that Barron – who is undeniably part of the ‘entire family’ – not be judged for the crimes and corruptions of the adults in the family sounds reasonable to me.

Weatherwax
Weatherwax
4 years ago

@Alan

is anyone else resisting the urged to yell out “It’s chiefS of staff!”

The only reason I didn’t is I’m on a train (and far too British to make myself that kind of public spectacle).

Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ weatherwax

The only reason I didn’t is I’m on a train (and far too British to make myself that kind of public spectacle).

The much missed Victoria Wood did a lovely bit about British people completely ignoring a couple having sex on a train; until they lit up afterwards and someone tapped the sign and said “Excuse me, I think you’ll find this is a ‘No Smoking’ carriage.”

dslucia
dslucia
4 years ago

all those other kids who already do live in poverty because Barron’s father is a scumbag.

Saying that Trump is single-handedly responsible for poverty in the US is, um, a bit much. Sure, he hasn’t been helping things his entire life and he’s a great example of the things that do lead to so many people living in poverty, but he’s hardly the reason behind it.

EDIT: Like, I’m not intending to defend Trump at all, but there are much bigger reasons why kids grow up in poverty than because he’s a bigoted idiot who inherited a lot of money.

Ellesar
Ellesar
4 years ago

Saying that Trump is single-handedly responsible for poverty in the US is, um, a bit much.

Yes, seems like a kneejerk reductionist reaction.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
4 years ago

I think John was talking about the people that Donald Trump has stiffed on payment, workers thrown out on the street when he declared bankruptcy on businesses to protect his own wealth; that sort of thing. I don’t think John was suggesting that Trump was responsible for all poverty in the USA, just a slice of it. (Inducted by principle of charitable interpretation)

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
4 years ago

@dslucia & Ellesar

I was actually referring to the practices of the Great Businessman (TM) before he got elected. I’m not saying he created poverty, but that he’s already inflicted it on many people and is now trying his damn best to do it to many, many more.

Though yeah I could’ve said so in the first place.

As for little Barron, I’m pretty sure no one who uses “the entire Trump family” as a short-hand for the people in that family who are proven pieces of shit (that is, pretty much almost all of them) actually includes him when they’re mentionning the things they’d like to see happen to them. Because yeah, punishing a scumbag but also their entire family whether or not they’re innocent or even of adult age is not something we do – it’s what Trump wants to do.

Besides the kid’s already been punished enough by being named after his scumbag father’s ego-stroking sockpuppet.

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
4 years ago

Getting back to Chief of Staff business. Am I the only one who wants to be a fly on the wall when decades-as-a-Marines-officer Kelly turns up and tells Trump he wants proper organisation?

What would Trumpelthinskin do-think-say when Kelly presents him with an organisation chart and an explicit requirement that _this_ Chief of Staff intends to be a _real_ Chief of Staff. No one randomly wanders into the Oval Office, everyone must make a specific appointment, give advance notice, or otherwise go through Kelly. (One little thing I heard today, until Nixon’s time the job was called Appointments Secretary. Nixon preferred the more military sounding Chief of Staff.)

It’d be good to watch Scaramucci, Kushner, Bannon, Miller and the rest of the motley crew respond to a demand that they behave as though they work for a president. At the moment they seem to live in a mannerless dorm where people wander in and out of each other’s rooms without knocking. Having a grown up like Kelly calling the shots will be a huge change (if he can pull it off).

dslucia
dslucia
4 years ago

@Scildfreja:

Even reading it that way (which, admittedly, is probably closer to what was intended), Trump is still more a symptom of the problem rather than the reason behind the problem itself.

But I guess that’s getting into really pedantic territory and there isn’t a reason to not be mad at Trump for being part of the problem, so I’ll drop it.

dslucia
dslucia
4 years ago

@John:

Yeah, sorry, I get it, I just have a habit of bristling at generalizations and simplifications. I spend too much time arguing with gamerbros.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
4 years ago

Totally agreed that Trump represents an enormous symptom of some very deep problems! Tossing him and his family in jail wouldn’t fix it. However, this doesn’t mean that Trump isn’t entirely personally responsible for that poverty and misery he’s caused, so jail time is just.

Also, I don’t really think it’d affect Barron Trump one bit. Far as I know Melania hasn’t been a horrible monster worthy of jail time, so Barron would still have his mother. In other words, things would barely change for the kid at all, I imagine. Poor kid, though :C

EDIT: I totally get the issue with frequent interactions with gamerbros, and the urge to fight for every little semantic scrap of turf. Eugh.

Virgin Mary
Virgin Mary
4 years ago

Once Barron gets to 18, he’ll get initiated into some secret society bullshit. He should be removed from the Trump household at once for his safety. He’s an ‘at risk’ child.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
4 years ago

@dslucia and Scildfreja

I just have a habit of bristling at generalizations and simplifications. I spend too much time arguing with gamerbros.

I totally get the issue with frequent interactions with gamerbros, and the urge to fight for every little semantic scrap of turf. Eugh.

Unfortunately, I completely get it. *shudders*

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

I think Trump is more than just a symptom. I think that creating poverty in others is a feature of his business model, rather than a bug.

GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
4 years ago

One of my college classmates was David Rockefeller’s daughter (I never met her). She was a vocal opponent of the Vietnam War and of her father’s support of it, and as an adult she dropped the Rockefeller name (not by getting married and taking a new last name), but by simply going from Margaret Dulany Rockefeller to Peggy Dulany. So there’s hope for Barron — if someday you hear of a philanthropist named Barron Knaus, you can cheer. (I think Melania is probably doing her best with him — the danger is that she’ll dote on him too much because she has a poor relationship with his father.)

I think the best way to think of Trump is that he’s an expert in taking turds, covering them with gold paint, stamping “TRUMP” on them, and selling them to gullible people. He’s simply a Gilded Turd Salesman.

Hambeast, disorderly she-tornado and breaker of windows
Hambeast, disorderly she-tornado and breaker of windows
4 years ago

Alan – US presidents have been known to take a new running mate when they do the re-election thing, so that’s allowed. NOT THAT WE WANT ANOTHER TRUMP TERM!!* Also, doing that is not without its pitfalls politically.

joekster – Nice to see you again!

*Or even another campaign, for that matter.

Hypatia's Daughter
Hypatia's Daughter
4 years ago

Possibly, Trump is playing out his own version of “15 minutes of fame”.
By the time he is out of office, he will have appointed everyone in the US to a position in the White House ……. for at least 15 minutes.

JS
JS
4 years ago

@mildlymagnificent re: Kelly

I could see Kelly trying to do something like that, working to bring better organizational prowess to the WH, and being defeated at every turn by Trump doing something dumb again. Ooooh! I just realized that can be made to scan like a slogan lots of people have heard recently…

“Do Something Dumb Again” doesn’t quite have the right number of syllables, but it might work.

Oh, and it’s too late to avoid another Trump campaign, he’s already started on the Boy Scouts, many of whom will be old enough to vote in 3 years. *This* is why I recently decided to work harder to understand and fight this regime. 40000 young men from all around the country, going back to their (usually Republican) parents to say how great it was to hear from Trump, when Obama didn’t even show up.

JS
JS
4 years ago

Not all of them will be dumb enough to fall for that, but enough will to spread Trump’s message yet again.

Finding out about that speech made me the angriest I’ve gotten in years.

Note: Obama was busy in the White House, getting things done for the country, and still made time for a much less political video presentation to the boys at the previous ones.

dslucia
dslucia
4 years ago

@kupo:

I think that creating poverty in others is a feature of his business model, rather than a bug.

What I was getting at is that it’s not something he invented, or is even the worst example of in the US. It’s a problem the US has had for a long time, that’s more a feature of big business in the US in general rather than with regards to Trump specifically.

But that doesn’t mean people shouldn’t hold him accountable for the things he has specifically done, so *shrug*

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