evil old ladies evil ugly women men who should not ever be with women ever MGTOW misogyny

Sally Field and the MGTOW Reality Distortion Field

Sally Field protests
Sally Field protests

People used to say that Steve Jobs had a sort of “reality distortion field” that surrounded him like an aura, that his charisma and enthusiasm were so off the charts that he was able to convince those in his presence (and, quite often, himself) of almost anything.

The people I tend to write about on this blog also seem to live within reality distortion fields of their own making, but instead of seeing the world through Apple-colored glasses they come to believe a lot of stupid and terrible things about women. And in the process, some have become incapable of seeing what is right there before their eyes.

Take, for example, the surreal discussion of the new Sally Field comedy Hello, My Name is Doris that I ran across recently on the MGTOW forums on

The film tells the story of a comically frumpy and awkward older woman (Field) who gets the hots for a charming, handsome and much younger co-worker (Max Greenfield). I haven’t seen the movie, so I have no idea if the two end up together. Or if the movie is any good.

The fellows on haven’t seen the movie either, but they have some pretty strong feelings about it regardless, notably the feeling “eeeeeeeeww!” They’re not only offended and disgusted by the idea of the two getting together; they’re angry that any old lady could even think she could bag a much younger man.

“Well i like older women but this garbage glory hole piece of garbage grand parent slut i wouldnt be able to puncture,” one commenter declares.

“[I]ts not a rom com its a fucking crime against nature, a freakish out growth that exists only after years of gynocidal feminist garbage has poisoned us all,” adds another.

So far this is all pretty standard MGTOW stuff. After all, these are guys who, like so many others in the manosphere, think women “hit the wall” by the age of thirty, if not earlier.

What’s interesting to me is how old they think Sally Field is.

In the post that opens the thread, titled “New fantasy for post-wall women,” a commenter who calls himself Nuggets describes the film thusly:

Romantic comedy with 50-ish woman seducing the 20 something new hire guy at her job. I always find shit like this hilarious. Probably the beginning of a new trend for movies. Bleh

In a followup comment, he adds:

It’s like they’re in total denial that she’s old. They’re trying so hard to present her as an “omg so awkward” 23 year old woman, even though the actress who plays her is 54. That’s exactly how women think though, especially the target demographic for this movie. Picture some grannies going to see this, gives me the creeps mang.

Sally Field is 69 years old, not 54. She played “The Flying Nun” in the 1960s, for god’s sake.

Not only that, but in the film she’s done up in a way that makes her look even older — as you can see from the film’s trailer, which Nuggets helpfully posted to the thread:


Here she is at the film’s premiere, with somewhat better styling:

Sally Field: Not actually a “garbage glory hole piece of garbage grand parent slut.”

For purposes of comparison, here’s another 69-year-old who’s been in the news a lot lately:

Donald Trump: Aging like fine wine?
Donald Trump: Aging like fine wine?

Now, I should point out that several commenters on piped up to set Nuggets straight on Field’s actual age. And, for what it’s worth, Nugget is also off on the age of Sally Field’s movie crush. The actor playing her co-worker isn’t “20 something.” He’s 35.

But Nuggets’ confusion about Field’s age is telling.

Does he think that when women ‘hit the wall,” at whatever arbitrary age he thinks this happens, that they immediately start shrinking down and drying up, transforming from “hot babes” into an army of bitter old crones?

Is he so convinced that “women age like milk,” as misogynists often say, that he simply can’t see all the women who don’t?

Newsflash, MGTOW dudes: lots of men find older women attractive.

In the real world, to be sure, it’s pretty rare for 35-year-old men to date 69-year-old women. But the inverse is also true, and there are plenty of men who are interested in the older women that MGTOWs profess to be so disgusted by, even if they lack the age-defying powers of a Helen Mirren. Indeed, one recent study by AARP found that a third of 40-something women who were dating were dating younger men.

Physical attraction doesn’t abide by the rules that people like MGTOWs try to impose upon it. Contrary to the assertions of manosphere “wall theory,” not all men are forever obsessed with 18-year-old supermodel virgins.

One of the weirder aspects of straight male sexuality is that men are often afraid to admit when they find themselves attracted to women who don’t measure up to some arbitrary standard of conventional attractiveness.

That’s why you see so many teenage boys and young men online loudly proclaiming that they “would not bang” this or that celebrity woman due to some weird and imaginary flaws (“pointy elbows”); their proclamations are often so obviously and ridiculously untrue they’ve inspired a popular meme, here applied to a perfectly lovely cat:


MGTOWs are men who’ve never outgrown this phase; indeed, they’ve turned their cries of “would not bang” into a life philosophy of sorts. Some of them must realize that they’re protesting too much.

But others, like Nuggets, have become so enmeshed in their own nonsense they can’t ever see straight. Bad ideas can be a strangely powerful thing.


130 replies on “Sally Field and the MGTOW Reality Distortion Field”

@This Handle Is a Test
You’re right, butter isn’t aged (apparently not even cultured butter, which was surprising to learn).

Also, I love that Futurama quote. It’s from the episode How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back.

@ kupo

cultured butter

I won’t even consider using butter unless it graduated from the Sorbonne.


I’m a little late so I hope you see this, but thank you for elaborating.

I’m hoping that maybe by spending time on this site, you will get a better understanding of what feminism is and what feminists believe. If you still don’t want to call yourself feminist that is understandable though. A lot of men don’t like calling themselves feminists for various reasons, even if they are pro-equality/allies

Either way, I hope you stick around and enjoy it here! 😊

He broke?! In what way? And did you make him break?

The only thing he had to talk about in the beginning of the date was how he totally had ton of money, and he kept shoving his phone in my face to show pictures of his rich people shit and telling me how much he spent on it, and slipping in little negs here and there, like how he could afford to get me better clothes or a personal trainer, tried to “assert” me into leaving with him.

He got really flustered because I was very unimpressed with his schtick and started flipping his negs around and throwing them back in his face much harder, and then when he asked me why I was being such a bitch I was like “hey, you started it”. Then I called him out on what he was doing, and I was brutal about it. He froze like a deer in the headlights the whole time and just cowered down in his seat. After I was done talking he just kept staring off into space and didn’t snap out of it until I said “Hey! Date’s over! Go away!” and then he jumped out of his seat and scampered out of the restaurant.

Dr. NicolaLuna | April 3, 2016 at 5:26 pm
omg, rainbow coloured, dragon looking dicks? Where from? Need this immediately!

Dalillama | April 3, 2016 at 6:18 pm
@ Dr Nicolaluna
Bad Dragon, of course.

I’ve actually heard lots of not good things about BD (including astroturfing their forums from people who had complaints against them about shoddy products or poor customer service), and I wouldn’t suggest supporting them.

Here’s a good list of BD alternatives, but if you really want a BD make, you can always try their secondhand forums, since their toys are silicone, thus they can be boiled/are dishwasher safe, so they’re easily disinfected and safe to share.

I know these kinds of toys are not easy to find, since it’s a bit of a “niche”, and BD kind of dominates it, but there you go.

I was being a bit hyperbolic about the rainbow colored dragon dick, but here’s a good alternative that I would personally love to own from Frisky Beast (that comes in rainbow)!

I personally want to get some of Frisky Beast’s silicone brood eggs for…reasons.

I’m also a little sad I missed their Easter sale where they sold cute pastel silicone eggs.

Wow, wow, wow. You were assertive. I hope that he learned something from his interactions with you!

Thanks for filling us in on the details of that memorable date.

I just remembered a date I had with a guy who was trying to impress me with his money & things. (Truthfully, I don’t think he had a lot.)

I liked him and after a while I said, “So you want a woman to appreciate your money, not you?”

My question seemed to scare him. “No, no, no!” I had to laugh.

After a short while, he revealed his controlling nature, and I stopped liking him.

For a such terrible date it was actually a lot of fun, more like a roast.

I ended up having to pay for his meal after he ran off, but whatever. The date got on the waiter’s bad side early on too, who could barely keep a straight face every time he cruised by with refills. It definitely added to the shame that there was clearly a humorous conversation at his expense taking place across the dining room when what the waiter overheard made it back to the rest of the staff. He had to slink past knowing looks and giggles on the way out.


Hahahahahahahahaha wow. Even the waitstaff? That is hilarious! I wouldn’t have been able to contain my laughter.

You are awesome, my friend.😂😂😂


Your attitude towards feminism–“It’s not something I’m against, but I can’t call myself one without knowing it better”–is quite a positive one, actually. I’m gonna give you the very, very basic framework. It’s where I started when I finally realized I was fed up with the world as it is. Feminism, in all its various branches, has two core ideas. If you accept both premises, you’re in–after that, it’s all about the fine details.

1: “Women are people, too.” This is a quote by Betty Friedan, and it’s really the heart of feminist thought. It means that in all the various spheres of life–domestic, financial, professional, academic, political, and so on–women should be treated as people first, and as women second.

2: “We ain’t there, yet.” If the first statement is the purpose of feminism, this is the reason for it. If we lived in a society where the first principle was actually adhered to, then there would be no need for a specific movement to address women’s needs. We don’t, and the common term for this condition of inequality is, “Patriarchy”. Many anti-feminists, like Christina Hoff-Sommers, claim to be feminists but deny this aspect of it. They say we’ve already established mostly equal protection under the law, and that’s all that’s really necessary. This is the test that weeds them out. Anyone who claims that our society is gender-balanced (or even more absurdly, a ‘gynocracy’) is default not a feminist, and if they claim to be, you may treat them safely as a liar.

This second principle is also where the various divisions within legitimate feminism arise. People of good faith will disagree with why the status quo is stacked against women, what can and should be done about it, whether it’s more important to work on single approaches or better to focus on the big picture, and what cases should be made a top priority. So long as the answer isn’t “nothing”, however, then it’s generally good.

Some things feminism doesn’t believe (but which are often attributed to it by anti-feminists):

1: “Women can do no wrong.”
2: “All sex is rape.”
3: “Men are all horrible.”
4: “Men must be subservient to women.”

There’s many more, of course, but those are the first ones to spring to my mind.

If that seems to make sense to you, then I’d suggest checking out this site for a greater in-depth examination.

In my freshman year of high school, we had a special movie screening for the students on Honor Roll. I swear by Yggdrasil the World Ash that the movie was “Forty Carats”. Plot: a younger man meets an older woman on holiday, they are smitten, both go back to their lives. They meet again, realize that they’re still smitten. He’s younger than he admitted to, she’s older than SHE admitted to. He wants to marry her, and all of his friends say he’s nuts. He’s early 20s, she’s just turned 40 (hence the title). If I recall correctly, they wind up together.

Being me, it did not occur to me until much later what a curious choice this was for an audience of high schoolers.


doesn’t old wine sometimes turn into vinegar? (I’m sorry if your link said something about that, my computer won’t recognize your link as a link)

@ Social Justice Atheist
I pointed it out to him when I was laying it down, and said “dude, even those people way over there don’t like you. That is how unendearing your personality is. You repel people who’ve never even met you from over 30 feet away.”

The cooks were watching from the short-order kitchen and cracked up when he looked over. It was harsh, but for his own good.

That’s not even the best part. About 5 minutes into the date when we had just ordered food and I was still trying to find common interests and mentioned that I loved to cook and that it made me happy when other people enjoyed my food, he said “oh, so you get fulfillment from making others happy. That’s the way women should be” and offered to “let me” move in with him and pay rent for the privilege. I declined, but it took several tries to make it past the word no because he kept interrupting to lower the asking price like I was driving a hard bargain. Then when I stopped him and said I wouldn’t even do it if he paid me, he started in on the negging and said I was a little too tall for him anyway, and that he preferred smaller women because it was a submissiveness thing.

The only reason I was reluctant to walk out was because I’d had a long day at work and was already irritable because I was super hungry, so I opted to stay and started trolling hard from that moment on.

A few other highlights:

Him: “And here’s a picture of my Harley Davidson, she cost $30,000. Yeahhh, I’m kinda a bad boy (insert douchey laugh). Do you like Harleys?” ᵔ ͜ر ͡ᵔ
Me: “Nah. I’ve always thought Harleys were the Ed Hardy brand of motorcycles and that they must have been designed to be so freaking slow on purpose so that yuppies wouldn’t hurt themselves while pretending their lives were more exciting.”
Him: ◉ ͟ʖ ◉
Me: ಠ _ಠ

Him: “What would you do if you got pregnant? Would you quit school and be a housewife?”
Me: “No, I’d get an abortion.”
Him: “Even if it was mine?” ᵔ ౪ ͡ᵔ
Me: “Especially if it was yours.” ಠ _ಠ
Him: ◉ ͟ʖ ◉
Me: ಠ _ಠ

“If you want to be free, be free…”
Ah yes, Harold and Maude. I like that movie pretty well. Not a ton of TITS N EXPLOSIONS but eh, a guy can like action and appreciate atmosphere too, right? I’m jealous of how Harold had an old hearse, then a Jag E-Type, then a Jag E-Type Hearse because THATS MY AESTHETIC OH MAN
sorry about ot but wanted to gush a bit

Those faces are the most hilarious thing I’ve seen in some time. He thinks he’s so precious. Who asks somebody, on the 1st date mind, if they would abort his (half his, I suppose) fetus? Why!? What!!?
(Please, do the gif. I have no idea what I’m doing *crosses fingers*)

Besides, you use game on stupid sluts in bars and nighclubs. Actual restaurants are full of postwall, rainbow haired, nazi females. You wouldn’t wanna fuck them anyway, brah /s, /s, so much /s

“Especially if it was yours.”
I don’t often lough out loud at things that I’m reading. After reading this I had to gasp for air.


You do realize that some feminists don’t believe in marriage right? And that men do benefit from marriage?


Yes, anon?

You think just like you say feminists thinks.

You are now banned: Following reasons, White Knighting.

Trigger warning for mild gross talk

That story is wonderful, as are the emoticons!

I had a classically bad series of interactions with a guy a few years ago. In hindsight, the whole thing was hilarious.

I responded to a personal ad in a San Francisco paper. The guy wrote and said that he actually lived in Los Angeles but would be moving to San Francisco soon and would be in touch then. Months went by and I mentally wrote him off. Then one day he called me. He had moved to SF and wanted to meet me.

After all those months, I was surprised.

We met and he seemed to be quite interested in me. Then he negged me by insulting my lack of computer geekiness. And he said that my German last name sounded like I was “fresh off the boat.” I didn’t say anything, but I thought, Dude, were you born in 1880? He seemed to be channeling his grandpa. I was baffled. I understood teasing, which can be funny or can be mean. But I had never heard of negging. And his teasing (negging) sounded forced, like he was trying to fit it into the conversation somehow. I didn’t understand why. I tried to laugh the whole thing off.

He wanted to meet for lunch. I didn’t think that we had a great rapport but he really did seem interested, so I said yes. We got together for lunch, and he still seemed interested. While we ate our Thai noodles, out of the blue, he uttered these immortal words:

Him: My feces are marvelous.

Me (shocked but trying really hard to laugh the whole thing off): Well, why don’t you build a house with them?

Him: Huh? I said that my feces are marbled.

Me: Ha, ha, ha!

But that’s not all–no, it’s not!

I talked to him on the phone later. I was still in shock and in denial. He told me that we weren’t going to be a couple but that I could join a communal living group that he was forming. Once I did that, he could pick out a guy for me from that group(!)

My conclusion: His relationship ad was a two-fer for him. He would either find a girlfriend or form a community with him as the guru. Perhaps he was inspired by another San Franciscan, Jim Jones of People’s Temple fame? Of course, the People’s Temple ended in a spectacularly bad way!

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