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New Year’s Eve/Day Open Thread: It’s 2016 Already Updated Edition

Hanging out in the champagne room
Hanging out in the champagne room

Have some eggnog and hang out for a while.

Here’s to a new year better than this one!

No MRAs/trolls/etc.

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mockingbird
mockingbird
6 years ago

Happy New Year!

We spent the evening watching Star Wars: A New Hope and then Puffin Rock’s NYE countdown with the kiddos (I’m really glad that the 11-year-old only mumbled her remarks about the latter; it made the 3-year-old’s night), toasted resolutions with sparkling grape juice, and then…my husband fell asleep and I played fallout until 2am ?

I now have McCreedy’s cheatin’-ass perk though, so it’s all good. The last 30 minutes was just me wandering around knocking out improbable headshots.

mockingbird
mockingbird
6 years ago

@Vuclodack – Stay safe.

Dalillama
6 years ago

@ Vucodlak

Best wishes & hope you stay safe.

WeirwoodTreeHugger
WeirwoodTreeHugger
6 years ago

Hugs if you want them Vucodlak.

WeirwoodTreeHugger
WeirwoodTreeHugger
6 years ago

I had a pretty low key new years. I had dinner with my mom at a Japanese restaurant and then we went back to her place for loads of champagne. Somewhere near her place had fireworks, so we watched from the window of her condo.

Vucodlak
Vucodlak
6 years ago

Thanks all for the well wishes, everybody. Sorry to be such a downer. I haven’t heard any sirens, and there are no carp* swimming around my ankles, so I guess all’s well. I haven’t slept in a couple of days, so I’m extra paranoid.

*My grandmother used to tell me stories of the great flood of ’73, when she would go out to her garden and find carp nibbling on her lettuce.

Dreamer
Dreamer
6 years ago

Happy New year. Thanks Dave for wading through swaps of hatred and finding thehumor.

Lkeke35
Lkeke35
6 years ago

HNY everyone!

This year is looking up already. Had an appendectomy on Monday and just got released from hospital in time for NYDay.

Gonna spend the day with my two favorite people in the enitre world, have a spoonful of black eyed peas and do some reading, movie watching, and crocheting. Good day for me, I hope, with absolutely no excitement outside of a TV show.

Best wishes and hugs for those that need and want them.

Kat
Kat
6 years ago

@Vucodlak
Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this weather emergency. Stay safe, warm, and dry.

@Lkeke35
Whoa. I’m glad that the appendectomy went well and that you’re home now. Best wishes for a speedy complete recovery.

@Aces
I’ve had more than one terrible boyfriend. I got free by calling battered women’s hotlines and going to battered women’s groups. They helped me to make a safety plan (very important!) and leave. Maybe he doesn’t hit you. But I’ll bet that he does something on the “Power and Control Wheel.” Here’s the link:

http://www.theduluthmodel.org/pdf/PowerandControl.pdf

When you’re ready, you’ll find that you have the inner strength to make your move. And if you become educated about batterers, in the future you’ll be able to spot one right away.

All best wishes.

Samantha
Samantha
6 years ago

Happy New Year, Everyone!

This year, among other things, I will learn not to read YouTube comments. If a lighthearted video of an interracial couple talking about their cat can result in a tsunami of rage over their daring to be an interracial couple in the first place (it’s the fault of feminists!) then. . . well. No wonder David Futrelle heavily moderates his threads. Don’t blame him at all.

On a more positive note: It’s 2016! Yay! Best wishes to all.

AltoFronto
AltoFronto
6 years ago

Happy New Year!

@Vucodlak – I hope your home stays safe, and that you’ll get enough assistance to recover from the flood.

Here in the UK, it’s not quite as bad, but for the last week, I’ve been waiting for the Severe flood warnings (risk to life) to be lifted so I can go up to visit my family (was meant to go just after Boxing Day). Luckily, my town has avoided any problems, but York is still badly damaged, and thousands of homes and businesses have been affected. I hope Alan’s ok, I’m not sure what part of the county he’s in, but there have been risk warnings everywhere.
The town is furious because our PM also cut back on flood defenses, despite his promise following last year’s floods that “money is no object”. Now for every £500m “saved”, it’s cost us £3bn, as well as all the upheaval.

@Lkeke – Glad your surgery was a success, I wish you a speedy recovery.

@Aces – I hope you get away smoothly, and onto better things.

@ Everyone – I hope you all continue to make progress in all your endeavours, and that 2016 will bring wonderful things for you.

Good news for me, I’ve got a new job lined up for 2016, and the pay is pretty decent, so I can start budgeting for things. I might finally finish my driving lessons. 🙂

Thanks, David, for keeping this site going, and I wish you and your cats all the best for the coming year!

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
6 years ago

I’ve only just got to the first morning of 2016, so no spoilers please.

All my best wishes, Vucodlak. If the river overflowing is a case of when-not-if, then I hope it happens far away from the most populated areas and causes as little disruption as possible.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
6 years ago

Wishing all the best for 2016 to David Futrelle and all his entertained and edified cats and commenters (hoping that all stay warm and dry, too).

dhag85
6 years ago

@Aces

I am also hoping things get better for you.

Wetherby
Wetherby
6 years ago

Happy New Year! Assuming this hasn’t been posted already, here’s the sublime Philomena Cunk* on the history of feminism, first broadcast on the BBC a couple of days ago.

(*this should be painfully obvious from the first few seconds of head-scratching and going “WTF?”, but she isn’t actually real.)

Johanna Roberts
Johanna Roberts
6 years ago

Happy new year, peeps! I’m having… a time. My husband and I are separating and it leaves me in dire straights. (Not a love issue, his mental health has gotten worse and all of his doctors recommend this to treat his codependant personality disorder) :/ I did start up a gofundme if you guys could share it around.

https://www.gofundme.com/sephirajo

Moocow
Moocow
6 years ago

One year down, and one year closer to femmecommunazi social justice supremacy! Muhahahaha! (All hail Katie)

I opted for a quiet new years this time around, visiting my family near Paris. Spent time working on some overdue editing for my next video (trying more for ‘negative but funny’-style review of Apollo Justice) while watching a Cabaret show that features various circus performances. The more I get done on this vacation, the more time I have to go on dates with some awesome women that I’ve had the pleasure of meeting recently when I get back home.

@Aces

Ew, “don’t be so boring” is his response to your very considerate request to put the phone away? That sounds awful and gaslight-y (looks like he’s picking up ‘negging’ techniques from Heartiste). Sending hugs and support your way!

dhag85
6 years ago

Long, whiny post about personal stuff below.

———–

I’ve been meaning to get this off my chest for a long time, but I don’t have anyone in meatspace who I can share this with. Since it’s about my wife’s family I can’t talk to any of them, and I simply don’t talk about things with my own family (which is small, and the extended family I have no contact with). Friends, you say? Nope, I’m almost 31 and all my old friends fled when I got married at 26. I’m bad at making new friends.

On to the issue: My wife’s family is getting on my nerves. Like, badly on my nerves. They are an American family of 6, including my wife, and the father was an immigrant from Cuba at a young age. They are a very conservative and deeply religious family, while my wife and I are the opposite. One important piece of information is that we’re partly dependent on them financially since they’re very well off and we’re still struggling to find steady work.

Below I’ll just list all of my problems and frustrations with them, and I’m praying to Obi-Wan my wife won’t read this comment.

Father

He is in his late 50s and makes a ton of money. He’s some form of specialist doctor. He is extremely authoritarian, a misogynist, a racist, and everything else. He seems to love and hate god at the same time. When something goes wrong for him, no matter how insignificant, he curses god and asks what he’s done to deserve this. When he gets upset with his wife, he asks god what he’s done to deserve such a useless wife. He won’t lift a finger to help around the house, ever. When he gets home from work he immediately makes himself a strong drink, then he retreats to his cave where he reads philosophy/religion or listens to pop music. Sometimes he will come out, shirtless, say hello to everyone individually, and then disappear again. Eventually he’ll come looking for food and he will be very upset if the food is not ready exactly when he wants it, or if it’s not to his liking for some reason.

He insists he’s not racist because he ”has never discriminated against anyone because of their race”. But he keeps making stupid racist jokes about his (other) daughter’s Chinese boyfriend. He will use the N-word to yell at black people on TV if he doesn’t like them. He’s especially hateful toward black people, and it ties in with his ”bootstrapism”, by which I mean he believes all Americans can get rich if they just pull themselves up by the bootstraps like he did. He says slavery was the worst thing that has ever happened to America, not because people were SLAVES, but because ”now we have this huge group of people with a chip on their shoulder, expecting to have everything handed to them for free”.

In my view he’s an adult baby, and a hateful one. I get the impression he never achieves anything more than a shallow understanding of any subject. I suppose he’s good at his job (yet another example of a person being highly skilled at one thing, and scarily incompetent at most other things). He’s the type of person who will read a book on philosophy and then he thinks he knows everything about philosophy ever. He never has any form of dialogue, but it’s all just him going through from memory exactly what he’s read lately. When he’s done, the rest of us can go back to normal conversation.

He is, of course, a Trump supporter. In the previous election cycle he supported Santorum. I have SO much more to say about this person, but I have to stop at some point. To me, he’s the definition of a toxic human being. My parents are calm, friendly, middle class, well-meaning socialists, and my only sibling is my feminist, progressive older brother. I’m not used to having a person like this in my family and I don’t know how to deal with it. I don’t want to cause drama in my wife’s family but I am also bad at keeping my mouth shut. To this man’s credit, he actually can take criticism without becoming furious. He won’t listen and change, of course. But he won’t blow up.

Mother

She’s the same age as her husband and she runs everything. I mean everything. She does part time work as a nurse, but her main job is taking care of the family, which is a 24/7 thing. Just keeping her husband in an ok mood is a full time job, and as I will explain later they have sons who also refuse to grow up. I think she is generally a decent person, but she’s also conservative and hateful in all the ways conservatives generally are. She can’t shut up about ”teh gays” of course. While she won’t go on and on like her husband does, I’m sure she generally agrees with him on most topics. She will sometimes complain about Obama but that’s to be expected. She’s very loud, very stubborn, and never listens to anyone.

Older daughter

My wife. She’s perfect in every way, of course. 😉

Older son

He is, I think, 27 years old and lives with his parents. He graduated college and came back home (no shame in that, of course). He is the epitome of a man-baby. He plays videogames almost 100% of his awake time and needs everything delivered to the door of his room in the basement. When he’s hungry he’ll just call his mom and ask if she can pick up McDonalds or some other fast food. If he wants a new videogame he’ll call his mom and ask her to go to the mall. If he wants anything at all, he’ll call his mom and ask her to bring it to his room. If he doesn’t get his way he’ll throw a tantrum. When his mom visited us here in Sweden about a year ago, he literally called her and demanded she get on the next flight home because he was hungry. I’M NOT KIDDING.

He’s had MRA tendencies in the past but I’m not sure what’s up with that now. He is actually a fun, caring and smart person when he wants to be, but you never know when he’ll switch to screaming man-baby again. You can’t play any game with him because it’ll always end with him throwing the cards/board/controller/whatever, accusing others of cheating. Seriously.

Younger son

He’s 24 and a complete shut-in. He was home schooled through most of high school and after that he locked himself in his room on the 2nd floor. He didn’t step outside the house in literally 3 or 4 years, not even the back yard. When there are guests in the house he will lock himself in his room and won’t come out until he’s sure they’ve left. He’ll keep texting and calling his mom to get updates on the situation. Without speculating about his mental health I know he has severe anxiety, which of course I want to respect. At the same time, he is a man-child just like his brother. If he can’t have burgers and Mt. Dew delivered to his door within minutes, he’ll send his mom text messages about how she must hate him.

When I first visited the house he wouldn’t come out of his room for the entire 3 weeks, only sneaking out to go to the bathroom once he could confirm with his mom that he wouldn’t accidentally run into me. One night I went downstairs for water at 4am and ran into him in the kitchen when he was making a run for Mt. Dew (apparently he at least won’t wake his mom up in the middle of the night for soda). I have to add, he’s a big guy. He’s at least 6’3 or maybe 6’4, at that point quite heavy (although he’s lost a lot of weight since), and he hadn’t trimmed his hair or facial hair in years. I was so confused for a second, thinking it must be a burglar. It’s such a strange situation, knowing I’ve been in that house for several weeks without seeing this giant man who’s been in there the entire time with us. When I realized who he was, I just said ”hey nice to meet you”. He grunted and ran upstairs to his room.

The next time I visited them, he actually started coming out of his room to hang out with the rest of us. But when it was time for my third visit he had reverted back to hiding in his room the whole time. During other visits he’s been sometimes more open, sometimes hidden. Last summer was my 8th time there, and he was nowhere to be seen the entire time.

Strangely enough, a few years ago he got an older girlfriend in NYC (they met online). He cleaned himself up, shaved his face, had his hair cut, had his mom buy him new/nice clothes. Then he went into the city all by himself and met with this woman. I don’t think the date went very well because he never talked about her again after that. A while later he got a new girlfriend, a woman in Mexico.

Why am I going into all these details? I don’t know! Maybe I want to convey the feeling I have when I visit this family, that it’s like travelling to a different dimension. I just don’t fucking know what’s going on there, or how the laws of physics work in this house.

Younger sister

The sister I never had! She’s 22, graduated from an Ivy League college with a STEM degree and is now working in her field of expertise. She is also quite spoiled, which I think is unavoidable with the way her parents are, but she eventually got to the point where she desperately needed to get out of the house and do her own thing. I don’t see that ever happening with her brothers.

I’ve mentioned her in previous open threads here since I’ve been concerned about her controlling boyfriend. No news there lately.

———

So that’s that. Now I can’t remember why I wanted to share all this stuff. Oh, yeah, I just needed to get it off my chest. We usually spend a few weeks/year in close contact with this family, and after a few days I don’t know what to do with myself. I love having some time away from home, and they have an amazing pool in the back yard, but I just can’t DEAL with these people sometimes.

And again, Obi-Wan if you can hear me, please don’t let my wife see this comment.

dhag85
6 years ago

@Johanna Roberts

I made a small donation. I’d spread the word if I had friends.

Johanna Roberts
Johanna Roberts
6 years ago

@dhag85 — thank you for your generosity. These next few weeks are going to suck. Trying to keep everything smooth for my daughter’s sake but it’s hard.

Alpine, RN
Alpine, RN
6 years ago

Happy New Years everyone! I just got home from working my third winter holiday nightshift in a row (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years)…5 year unbroken stretch without losing a single patient remains intact, even with a year (and counting!) in critical care. I am the white cloud of white clouds.

David have you seen this? http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2015/12/30/new_hampshire_topless_bill_amanda_bouldin_harassed_by_sexists.html

my home state has some irritating buggers…but my new District has MORE of them!

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

Hugs all! Happy New Year.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
6 years ago

Happy New Year!!!! to all Mammotheers who use Jan first and general happy vibes to everyone else!

Spent new year’s eve just chilling after a hectic day in court and was hoping to continue the skive today; but got a call from a client at 8 this morning so spending the day in work. Boo. Now resorting to my usual diversionary behaviour of checking out Mammoth.

@altofronto

Cheers for that. I’m on the Atlantic coast in Cornwall so we’ve caught the tail end of a few hurricanes. Nowhere near as bad as the flooding up north though, poor folks. At least down here the surfers are enjoying themselves. I’m currently staring forlornly at them through the window like one of the Bisto kids.

Alpine, RN
Alpine, RN
6 years ago

Also, can I just applaud the number of fellow medievalists, nerds, and, dare I guess…SCAdians and Kentwellies here? because…it’s well and truly wonderful 🙂

Spindrift
Spindrift
6 years ago

Happy new year, everyone! Wishing you all the best.

I came out to one of my parents recently, about my gender dysphoria. They were pretty accepting, but it still feels like this is gonna be a scary year.

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