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Renegade ex-AVFMer posts 4600-word exposé of Paul Elam … on Paul Elam’s own site

The graphic Vinczer used for his post on AVFM
The graphic Vinczer used for his post on AVFM

The already plenty messy MRA divorce between A Voice for Men’s cult leader Paul Elam and his former “Activity Director” Attila Vinczer has just gotten a lot messier.

Taking advantage of his old editor’s account on AVFM, Vinczer today posted a 4600-word screed on Elam’s own site intended to expose the “innards of Paul Elam and AVFM.” In it, Vinczer declares that

I have observed this organization, AVFM, led by CEO Paul Elam, dong things that are in my opinion immoral, unethical and outright criminal. … They are harming people and harming men and boys they claim to be helping. The reckless behaviour of Paul Elam, the founder, and now CEO of AVFM LLB is akin to a cult leader, with followers who may be oblivious to what they are being drawn into. 

Elam quickly removed the post from his site, declaring all of Vinczer’s “various allegations” to be false, but the internet does not so easily forget; archived copies of the original post are still available here and here,

Vinczer’s document contains a lot more invective than it does evidence, but he promises evidence will be forthcoming. “This is just the tip of the iceberg,” Vinczer declares, “there will be full disclosure to follow.” He says he will offer “hard evidence about the improprieties found within the innards of AVFM” to any journalist who asks.

I’m going to leave that to journalists who have a bevy of lawyers at their disposal, but what Vinczer has posted so far is … intriguing.

Let’s get the invective out of the way first.

To say that Vinczer is angry at his former boss is a bit of an understatement. Over the course of the long screed, Vinczer describes Elam, variously, as

  • an “unabashed maniac”
  • “unhinged and wreckless [sic]”
  • “an alcoholic trigger happy imbecile”
  • “a bully”
  • “a cowering coward”
  • “A yellow belly poison lipped scoundrel”
  • “an utter disappointment”
  • “a disgraced perjured individual willing to do anything in a rage of bitterness fuelled by pure anger for revenge”
  • “a black hole that drains the life out of people who are anywhere near you”

I have no personal knowledge of Elam’s drinking habits or his mental health, but the rest of that sounds about right to me.

Vinczer’s accusations against Elam are numerous, if a little light on detail. His basic charge is that Elam is

[a] thief, [a] cheat, [a] con artist, who engages in smoke and mirrors refusing to be transparent with handling the massive amount of money donated to AVFM. … [a] seemingly ill minded deviant who it appears may be guilty of embezzling corporate/donated funds … .

Specifically, he claims that Elam may have used AVFM money to “secretly vacation …  in Italy with his partner while having others believe he was impecunious.”

He also accuses Elam et al of wasting money they could have been using for activism to subsidize a men’s “retreat” during which, among other things, a drunken Elam led his comrades in a lively, er, discussion of the allegedly smelly vagina of an influential feminist journalist — then put a video of these drunken shenanigans up on Youtube.

AVFM, Vinczer declares,

is incapable of putting on a yearly conference, [despite] the vast amount of money it has received in donations. Instead they pay for flying David Miller aka David King in from the UK so a group of men can get drunk and do stupid things at a retreat putting the MRM into disrepute.

Vinczer demands that Elam fess up about where the money raised by AVFM goes:

I challenge the CEO of AVFM to give full disclosure of … how he spent 10s of thousands of dollars if, not 100s of thousands of dollars donated to AVFM for advocacy work. Without being transparent, we can only guess what the amounts are that you have spent. I know he took a salary from those donations, which is perfectly warranted. Question is how much money did he use for himself and how much was actually used for advocacy work, if any.

Vinczer also posts what he says is a transcript of a Skype conversation amongst AVFM’s top brass in which Elam gleefully announces his plans to put up videos from Vinczer’s financially disastrous Toronto DV conference this past summer without Vinczer’s permission, and with all evidence of Vinczer’s presence left on the cutting room floor.

In the alleged transcript, Elam allegedly says

I am uploading Tanveer Ahmens talk right now, with AVFM branding and Attila cut out of the video. … I am billing this as an AVFM production … and cutting any mention of Toronto DV Symposium.

Given that the alleged transcript is utterly free of the weird malapropisms that clutter up Vinczer’s own prose, I’m thinking there’s a pretty good chance it’s real. It’s worth reading, if only for the mustache-twirling villainy on display. [EDIT: Vinczer has now Tweeted a bunch of screenshots of the alleged conversation, which make me even more convinced that the transcript is real..]

Even if we assume that the transcript is real, the evidence presented so far doesn’t quite live up to Vinczer’s invective. Does he really have more evidence to provide?

Elam, for his part, says no, writing that

Vinczer has nothing to give the media other than his words, which are about as good as his promise to pay people he has conned. The man who is quick to tell everyone of his sleuth-like constant recording and record keeping of everything in his life will produce nothing of the sort.

On Twitter, Elam added an accusation of his own:

https://twitter.com/AVoiceForMen/status/652540990608158720

https://twitter.com/AVoiceForMen/status/652543874615787520

I guess we’ll just have to see where this all goes, huh?

EDIT: Added Elam’s tweets, changed the last line.

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Johanna Roberts
Johanna Roberts
6 years ago

There’s some creative insults in there, that’s for sure.

sn0rkmaiden
6 years ago

If that ‘Forthepeeple’ app ever gets off the ground, I’d love to see what the AVFMmers manage to do with it, though only to each other of course.

So is Elam falsely accusing Vinczer of abusing his children? Because I thought those guys took a dim view of false abuse allegations. Or is it true, in which case they’ve happily accommodated a child beater in their ranks for many years. The plot thickens.

At least while they’re tearing at each other they’re not targeting feminists.

RosaDeLava
RosaDeLava
6 years ago

If I were a bigger person, I’d let this rest, but alas…
Paul Elam saying a men is a shit father. That’s questionable.

greyskye
greyskye
6 years ago

Good lord Atilla should just go curl up with a pint of rocky road, watch Steel Magnolia’s and cry it all out. That was so much rage hysteria typing I think my eyeballs turned inside out trying to get even a third of the way through it.

Sissy
Sissy
6 years ago

What in the heck? This is turning into Schoolyard Bully Theater in there! Must not be a very organized group if they’re turning on each other like that.

Mels
Mels
6 years ago

“cowering coward” is my new favorite insult.

Also, “putting the MRM into disrepute”?
comment image

katz
katz
6 years ago

A yellow belly poison lipped scoundrel

Every possible context I can imagine for this quote involves someone tied to railroad tracks.

Hank_Says
6 years ago

With these guys imploding in a classic “he-said he-said”, ComicBookGuy & Ming McSkulls’s home movie a bigger turd than anyone predicted and alpha stud Roosh “Beer Me” V. himself beginning to yell at clouds, I think we may be entering a dudebro Golden Age. This is fricking glorious and I’m getting some popcorn.

leftwingfox
6 years ago

In other insult news, the word “Catastrophuck” has been stuck in my head all day, and I needed to share that with someone.

This seems like an appropriate place to apply that description.

Fruitloopsie
6 years ago

Love the insults except “maniac”, “alcholic” and “Ill minded” but everything else you get a thumbs up.

Fruitloopsie
6 years ago

Leftwingfox
“Catastrophuck”

:giggles:

Dan Kasteray
Dan Kasteray
6 years ago

I just want to throw out that we’ve know for years that Elam was a cheat a loser and a conman. Sure we don’t know for sure about his Italian vacation but aside from the mental illness slurs, the guy accusing Paul is pretty much spot on.

Taffer
Taffer
6 years ago

So wait, didn’t Paul Elam himself pretty much admit ages ago that he pockets everything donated to avfm, and that any “advocacy activities” are strictly an afterthought since yelling at/about feminists and women in general was the whole point of avfm?

Why is this guy flinging that around like its forbidden knowledge he alone managed to uncover? Like its some kind of weapon against Elam?

Anne
Anne
6 years ago

Popcorn time Again…

Orion
6 years ago

“a rage of bitterness fuelled by pure anger for revenge”

a rage of bitterness fuelled by pure anger for revenge

a rage of bitterness fuelled by pure anger for revenge

a rage of bitterness fuelled by pure anger for revenge

a rage of bitterness fuelled by pure anger for revenge

deniseeliza
6 years ago

Wowwwwwwwww this is the best thing I’ve read all week!

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

The graphic Vinczer used for his post on AVFM

You’re not kidding. That is a graphic image. Paul Elam’s grinning, soulless visage is not fit for children and probably deserves a parental warning and a rating.

For that matter, it’s not fit for anyone else either.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8pc84lPr21qifhpdo5_250.gif

TG
TG
6 years ago

So who’s left at AVFM besides Elam and his inflatable sheep?

Monzach
Monzach
6 years ago

To borrow a phrase from another mocking website I frequent: Fundie fight! 😀

I may be mistaken, though I seem to remember reading earlier that all donations to AVFM go through Paul Elam himself. I mean, there are a lot of accusations that Vinczer is levelling at Elam here, and I’d love to see concrete proof for these claims but we can’t pretend that there isn’t quite a hefty pile of proof about Elam being a less than ideal runner of websites.

chaltab
chaltab
6 years ago

Atilla missed his calling, damn. The man should have been a pulp novelist, not a third rate MRA shill.

RosaDeLava
RosaDeLava
6 years ago

@Orion
Yeah, that bothered me as well. What is “anger for revenge” supposed to mean? Where it’s even supposed to started meaning something?

Auntie Alias
Auntie Alias
6 years ago

Thank you! I’d read Paul’s post earlier today and was bummed to have missed Attila’s rant.

He certainly hasn’t revealed much that we don’t already know. I love that he twisted the knife about the mostly-unused $30K in donations for security that Paul oh so conveniently forget about when it came time to started planning ICMI15. If I had to guess which of them is telling the truth about the TorontoDV money issues, I’d guess Attila.

My favourite part was when Attila said Paul reminds him “of Yosemity Sam, both guns a blazing, all the time.” Hehe, along with a torrent of cussing.

Kat
Kat
6 years ago

Poor Paul Elam.

First betrayed by his own mother, who forced him to take anti-diarrhea medication.

Now this. Betrayed by his protege, with allegations flung at him that no gentleman would fling — and certainly not fling at another gentleman.

Once again, Paul Elam is a victim.

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