I had an interesting conversation recently with a woman on Twitter who told me that my policy of letting MRAs and misogynists comment here, at least so long as they’re not abusive, was keeping her and others she knew from joining in the conversation; she wanted a place to discuss MRAs where she didn’t have to deal with them.
I know a lot of the regulars here like engaging with the trolls and MRAs who stop by, but I’d like to create some space here for commenters who want to discuss the issues in a Troll- and MRA-free zone.
So I thought I’d try starting a new kind of Open Thread: A No-Troll, No-MRA, No-Misogynist, No-Rape-Apologist, No-Douchebag Thread to discuss the issues I cover on the blog and anything related to that: Misogyny, MRAs, PUAs, MGTOW, the “Red Pill,” and so on. Enjoy!
Oh, and if a troll wanders in, or if someone starts being douchey, ignore them and send me a note. I’ll delete their comments and ban them. No warning, no moderation, straight ban.
I’m just like…how can you be off topic in an open thread? Is this a riddle?
Nor does it occur to them that, if single moms’ boyfriends are violent, the people at fault are the violent boyfriends.
Yet another article acting like reducing male violence is like reducing heart disease.
A little late to the game here, but in response to Many Words from Tea for Two, I think it’s worth pointing out that caring about women’s lives is feminist. (Katz, I’m pretty new here, but I believe you are a woman? Sorry if I messed that up.) Point being – discussing women’s lives, what we do with our time, what we care about, and treating that as important is a feminist act, as far as I’m concerned.
And even if it weren’t, it’s cool to hear about what people in your community are up to.
The Washington Post: so relevant, it uses the phrase “taking lovers” to describe modern relationships. Based on that, I’m sure their understanding of the problem of domestic violence is totally accurate and useful!
I specifically said “less gendered” (not less female) OR “less looked down upon”.
I realised you probably aren’t saying that’s what I believe but rather that’s what often happens (though you do say it like it always happens which muddies things).
I agree that it sucks that that is the way it often goes. But IMO the best way for things to be mainstreamed and more respected while still being coded female is to talk about them and promote them as if they should be taken seriously.
I’m not sure why you think it’s bad that we don’t exclusively talk about “issues” though. I’ve been in feminist spaces where it’s exclusively issues and it’s boring as hell. Different people learn different ways, and this mix of social justice, mockery, socialising and irreverence is perfect for me. It was like this when I got here, and I don’t want it to change. Why do you think it should change to suit you?
I grew up in the DC metro area and still read the Post and the op-eds. George Will can die in the flames of my discontent! I always thought his ops were ridiculous but good gravy. A few posts have panned the newspaper but keep in mind that Will writes opinion editorials. No newspaper is perfect and most major papers post right leaning op-eds all the time, just sayin.
Is it bad that I kind of want to keep Mikey?
It might be the caffeine talking, but he’s kind of hilarious.
Wrong thread. Whoops. I suppose it still works for this thread. Referring to “LEGOS IS EBIL FOR WOMEN SCIENCY PEOPLE FIGURES” Mikey.
Only if you promise to walk him and brush his combover every day.
I don’t know whether it’s geographically feasible for any forum member to reach this, but there are another two days to run for the first ever conference on ‘Rape as a weapon of war’ at the Excel centre in London. There is a very rich array of free events for all at the conference; I think it’s well worth a visit, if you are able to.
Mikey is basically a substitute for Tom, but with 99% less calling everyone whores (penguins included).
Snort.
*skims to bottom*
“katz, the way this has turned into the All About Tea for Two thread has sent me straight through “frustrated” and out the other side to “eyes glazing over”. So yeah, you speak for me.”
Ditto. Anyone want a Reese’s? Or cookies?
Yeah, I’m not getting involved in that.
“you could have the character ridiculously defensive about the people they care about. Like if anyone even dares hurt them, your character goes right off”
Hey! That’s not a bug, that’ same feature! (That’s the best way to make me go from “oh fuck off” to “you motherfucking fucker you did NOT just say that”)
Flaws…some sort of illness that will, eventually, take its toll, but for now is mostly just a thing for her to mentally struggle with? Maybe have it progress through the book if that’s a thing you want?
Or, on the less sympathetic side of things, she loves her job, but X bigotry means she refuses to work with Y clients?
(I can dig up VtM books for RP flaws, some/most will be irrelevant, but might find some ideas? I have them all in PDF, and can get them to you if you want them)
::sporfle::
Nicely put, Emmy Rae.
Kim:
Damn right. It’s one of the reasons I’ve lost interest in Feministe, for example. Which, btw, might be more Tea for Two’s style.
So. Much. This.
Yes, please! It’s lunchtime here (for those of us slackers who didn’t get up till after 10, anyway).
It could be such everyday stuff, the things that don’t seem to get mentioned so often, like an injury that wasn’t major itself, but is going to cause long-term trouble, like chronic pain, or osteoarthritis (yes knee I’m looking at you).
Ymmm…. Reeses, accepted with thanks. 🙂
Kitteh — I was also looking at knees! And it’d be fitting since I’d assume sex work would be particularly bad on them (you lucky bugger, not having to go all “we need to chance positions, now, my knee just decided to protest” [TMI? I’m doing that a lot tonight…])
*hands over the milanos* save me some!
*and the Reese’s
LOL damn right about changing positions because OW KNEES! If we’re gonna go TMI, on the odd occasion Mr K and I are playing around on this side of the veil, crappy knee/back/sudden itches do tend to cramp things a bit. Bloody relief not to have to deal with that over There.
Or spikes and stuff in the lawn, either. Playing *cough* barefoot *cough* tag in the garden could come to a sudden halt otherwise.
I remember reading a romance novel where the hero had bad knees. He was trying to keep it a secret from the heroine, for some reason, and was in agony while she, um, wasn’t. Knees are Misandry!
Yep, me too.
Cheeky kitteh, very cheeky! A former king of France playing “barefoot” tag *shakes head*. Idk if I’ll ever get used to the idea that he’s just a normal bloke these days (then again, how many native born Americans say bloke, lift, telly, roundabout…so I guess he’s more normal than me!)
XD Argenti!
It’s not too much of a reach for him. The court was pretty rough-and-ready in his day – even the most sophisticated members were into practical jokes like the old bowl-of-water-over-the-door stunt, or when a friend had overeaten at dinner, pinching his clothes and tightening all the seams on them.
Plus of course he’s had a long time to leave behind his rotten sexual history and make a happy one!
Argenti, I do that too!
I blame it on early childhood exposure to doctor who, via old videotapes. I’m still sad that jelly babies are so hard to get ahold of, here.
Half the time I remember to call the boot a trunk!
Snow-machine, though, remains unaffected. Snow-mobile just sounds silly…
On Katz’s book, since I wouldn’t want to act opposed to ‘the confiscated comment section’ rule:
Character flaw — can handle snakes, heights, and spiders, is terrified of small children, balloons, and/or clowns.
It could happen!
I’d definitely love to see her/him be working towards/have a degree in STEM, without any of the broken-birdie stuff.