Some married men like to jokingly refer to their wife as “the boss,” generally in a patronizing manner that suggests she’s nominally in charge of the boring everyday stuff in the household that he doesn’t really care about anyway.
But our old nemesis Vox Day isn’t having any of it. To refer to your wife as the boss, even as a joke, is to threaten to loose the forces of anarchy and chaos and feminism upon your family. Also, women are dogs. On his Alpha Game blog, he writes,
If you let a dog think he’s the boss, he will cease to defer to you and begin objecting, violently, when you interfere with what he now believes are his prerogatives. Women are no different.
That’s right. Give in an inch to your wife, and the next thing you know she’ll be sitting on the furniture and insisting on eating “people food” at the table.
It’s a tad ironic that Vox here has decided to degrade women by comparing them to dogs, when his whole “alpha” schtick is based on misguided notions about the behavior of “alpha dogs” and wolves.
It’s one thing to turn over your social calendar to your wife due to a lack of interest in the various social obligations of the family. But checking in to see if there is scheduling conflict, or simply being courteous enough to see if your wife minds if you go to the football game does not make you an employee or a child. Therefore, it does not make her the boss. And what might have been an ironic jest in the days of Mad Men is often taken quite literally now.
Marriage: an endless power struggle in which the wife must always lose.
What a lovely vision of the world!
I should also add that you should never ever, even jokingly, refer to Bruce Springsteen as “the boss” either, because if you do he’s going to be hounding you to hand in your TPS reports and forcing you to work on Saturdays. You don’t want that.
EDITED TO ADD: In the comments on Alpha Game, cailcorishev expands a bit on the whole “women-as-dogs” thing in what he evidently thinks is a humorous way:
Since you mentioned dogs: virtually everything about disciplining a dog and being the pack leader applies to leading a woman (or children). I’m convinced that, if you took a woman on a 45-minute walk every day, as Cesar Millan recommended for dogs, it would eliminate a lot of her problems. Just make sure you lead her, having her take your arm and follow you where you want to go — or use a leash if she’s into that kind of thing.
I can only hope his wife — if there is an unfortunate woman holding this position — pees on the rug and chews up all his important paperwork.
But its really true no joking he “walks” and I follow.Cats don’t “heel” .
And thanks for the band aids .He wiggled away once into a creek .. in my pursuit of him I ended up with extremely bloody legs from the thorny vines.Took a month to heal and I have scars.
@Robert: Your school buses had seat belts?!! Here in the Wise All-Knowing Confederacy the only bus kids who get strapped in are the ones who’re being punished.
@lana: Sorry to hear about your shins.
When i first saw people walking their kids on a leash I though …that is ABUSIVE!>>> Eh ..no.
When your 3 and 1/2 year old thinks its “funny” to decide to play ‘hide and seek” with you in a mall ? THAT”S abusive .
Thanks Falconer .Its O.K though its a story to tell my grandkids around the campfire.LOL>
@this one is between perspectives
Something tells me we could have had far too much fun on play dates. I once referred to something that my daughter couldn’t remember. I said “Oh, you’re right, that wasn’t with you, that was with my other family.” I almost had her convinced I didn’t go to work, I went to be with my other family.
Don’t think that hasn’t come back to bite me more than a few times: “You told me to be home at midnight? I don’t remember that, you must have told that to your other daughter.”
The result of being a smart ass parent is creating a smart ass child.
I wish I could leash our cats. We got a leash for Lilly because she kept acting like she wanted out, which is a no go in our neighborhood (coyotes and foxes, no way) but she just tried to eat the leash.
“Er… I am not sure what the Borg is though? o.o”
Click my nym. It’s run by a bunch of folks from here.
And I was leashed as a kid, because I darted all over the place, including out of sight, and wih the age difference this meant my mother had me disappearing and my brother in a stroller. Not the fancy new ones, the 80s clunkers. I apparently liked my leash, got all “I’m a kitty!” about it. Assuming the kid doesn’t mind, and it’s not used as punishment or anything like that, I’m not sure I see an issue.
One more funny/soul scaring story about leashes, then I need to move on.
Years ago I had the mellowest, most laid back cat. I lived in small apartment and decided to take him to the park to get some air. Well, first of all, there was no fricking way that cat was going to walk there — so I carried him, claws digging into my shoulder the whole way.
“Once we get to the park, it will be fine. Kids will pet him and he can roll in the grass and he will be SOOOO happy.” This is what I thought as blood welled up under my t-shirt.
We get to the park and all kinds of kids came running to see the kitty! Yay! Kitty launches himself out of my arms, hits the ground and races to a crevasse under the corner of the cement pool. I run after him. Kids run after me. I grab the end f the leash just as it disappears after the cat into the darkness.
I am now laying on the ground, arm up to my shoulder under the cement pool, leash taunt, cat yowling and hissing and making that god-awful noise that makes people think they are possessed. And I am surrounded by little kids.
“What was that?!?!”
“It’s a cat.”
“Was it a skunk?”
“No. It’s a cat.”
“Was it a raccoon?”
“No, it’s a cat.”
“Was it a wolverine?”
“No. It’s a cat.”
“Is it a wild cat?”
“No. it’s a tame cat.”
(pause while children listen to the unholy noise and peer in to see glowing eyes in the dark, then look at the blood on my back)
“Are you sure?”
A while ago, my cats would follow my mom around whenever she went for a walk. I’m not sure if they thought she was abandoning them or something, but we had to make sure the windows were closed when leaving the house or they’d go with us everywhere.
@Argenti, I wish my daughter had taken to it like that. I think they can be great tools for keeping kids at the running away stage safe. Unfortunately, it didn’t work for us.
(loud speaker ) Will the parents of (kids name) please come to the fine jewelry dept.
And one time I had the whole store calling his name. Right as we were making the decision to call 9-11 I noticed one of the rolled up Persian rugs “moving” and heard giggling.
LEASH!
I don’t think leash on a child is inherently problematic either, if it’s a toddler who’s darting around like crazy and it’s merely used to keep the kid from running out into traffic and stuff. It’s not common – I guess most people manage their kids anyway – but I know a few people who either were leashed themselves as toddlers or have used leashes on their kids, and I don’t think it’s problematic. I think some people react strongly to it for the same reason as some people react strongly to clothes on dogs – like it’s dog stuff on a human or human stuff on a dog and that’s just WRONG.
Back to the original topic of the post, I would hate to have a romantic relationship which was a constant power struggle. I would also hate to have a constant power struggle with my four dogs, and go around feeling that I had to show them I was “alpha” all the time because otherwise OMG THEY’RE GONNA TAKE OVER! As if all dogs were some kind of wannabe dictators. Sure, if you treat your dog like zie’s a wannabe dictator who has to be kept firmly in zir place all the time, and if zie’s the kind of dog that doesn’t take shit easily, you’re gonna create a constant power struggle, and your views on dogs will become a self-fulfilling prophecy… but it doesn’t have to be like that.
Excitement! We have Office Furrinatus today! The boss is minding his daughter’s dog and she’s lying between our desks at the moment. I’ve taken a couple of pics but won’t be able to upload ’em till I get home.
Does this mean I should call the dog the boss?
Salacious ,
Before I wised up and decided not to let my new cats out .Mine were allowed to come and go as they pleased. I had a cat named Apple and she followed me when I went on walks with my grand baby. She was already outside so I don’t think she thought I was abandoning her.She was just going with us for a walk I think . She died a couple of years ago of kidney failure at the fairly young age of 7.
Her sister now 10 I still let out a couple hours a day .Only because her whole life I did and I don’t know. Its a quality verses quantity thing with her.My 2 Bengals never are allowed out unless I’m with them .One of them CRIES to go out (hes the one I leash) the other one could care less. But if he wants out he is fine in the yard with me .He chases butterflies and bugs. The one I leash hops the fence and RUNS! But I started leash training him when he was just a kitten when I realized he had the need to be out .
I ordered a custom collar for him designed for cats.
From here.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/happyhousecats/
Well, the reason I said I’m not sure why they followed us was because it become a rather new phenomenon. They had been outdoor cats for a long time and suddenly every time my mom took a walk they were right there behind her. They didn’t do it as much with anyone else but her.
I think if I got a new cat I’d have them be indoors, although I’d probably feel bad on occasion. But, I think they’re more friendly or maybe just bored and need more attention when they’re indoor cats. It’d be tough if they really wanted to go out though.
Growing up we had a revolving door of stray cats coming through our house, and a safe neighbourhood. The worse that happened was our neighbours would complain about the cats being in their yard, but we ignored them.
Apple has to be one of the cutest cat names ever.
Also, when my beloved tabby cat Sherkhan (named after the character of the same name in The Jungle Book) was still alive, he loved following me and my siblings around. He always had this adorable, “curious” look on his face. I miss him so much. :<
@falconer
Well, I’ll take that as this thread wasn’t worse than most others 😛
It was mostly the ableism pissing me off :/ Though neither was good.
@lana
ow ow ow *sympathy wince*
@argenti aertheri
Ditto. (and hi! :D)
@kittehs
You definetly should XD
A “bellwether” is a castrated ram that wears a bell around its neck. Its function is to lead the other sheep on walks.
The moral is that you can’t just blindly take the lead when you’re out on a walk and then assume that you’re impressing the people around you. You need to figure out what kind of animal passers-by are likely to be comparing you to. Is it dogs? Or sheep? Or what if they’re thinking about geese? (“Look at those dumb geese. They’re supposed to take turns being in front of the rest of flock, so that they won’t get tired as quickly.”)
::waves:: Hi Marie!
I’m more than suspicious, because Ashley’s been called out on this before, and apologised before, but hasn’t stopped doing it.
Hey, Ashley, what’s your problem? You don’t get the idea of a community having standards of what’s accepted or not? Why do you want to hang around here if you don’t accept the standards of commentary and won’t stop being offensive unless teacher tells you? That’s obnoxious and immature.
I don’t have a problem with the idea of leashes for little kids. They were used a lot when I was a child, though I’m pretty sure I was never in one. They give the child freedom of movement outside a stroller, mean the adult doesn’t have to hold their hand all the time, but keep the child close. They’re certainly better than the wrist-lead things (rather like a Slinky) that were around for a while more recently.
@kittehs
Meh. Did not know that.
Oh: on the matter of walks – well, Louis and I have a walk through the park every morning, and I wouldn’t miss it.
On walking an MRA: make sure he’s wearing nappies. The thought of seeing an MRA waddling along in the discomfort of a full nappy is perversely appealing.
Hmm..see I had Apple and her sister Furry (I still have Furry) .Both outside /inside cats .But only Apple would follow us . At the time I had another cat too .She had been an outside cat someone abandoned I rescued when she was about a year old . She NEVER and I mean never went outside again after I had her spayed let alone followed us LOL>>(think she knew she had it good with a bed in front of the window in the sun and food a plentiful)
Thanks Ally …her face to me and head was the perfect “Apple”.
And I LOVE Jungle book (yes Im 45) and that name Sherkhan. And sorry for your loss .(hugs)
Reminder — outdoor cats MUST not be declawed (really, just don’t do it at all) and should be spayed/neutered (that mistake got us three litters of kittens!)
Hi Marie! Was it you or Fade who was collecting recipes? You should check some of the recent threads, someone asked about shrimp the other day.
@Argenti Aertheri
I’m going to assume it was Fade cuz I’ve got no recollection of doing it :p I’ll point her that way though.