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Heartiste: Men need to be able to hit their mates in order to “retain” them

A better way to retain your mate: Be a sharp-dressed man.
A better way to retain your mate: Be a sharp-dressed man.

You may know Heartiste as a reactionary, misogynistic, proudly racist dispenser of manipulative, sometimes abusive dating advice to would-be “alpha males.”

Did you also know that he was an open advocate of domestic violence against women?

Well, I didn’t, until a friend pointed out a strange little exchange on his Twitter account the other day.

Last Tuesday morning, apropos of nothing in particular, Heartiste made the following pronouncement:

https://twitter.com/heartiste/status/347004274779242497

When someone asked what sort of threats he meant, he elaborated:
https://twitter.com/heartiste/status/347007119414947840

The latter three items on the list (“Abandonment. Shame. Ostracism”) are standard techniques in Heartiste’s dating strategy, but the open advocacy of violence is, I think, new.

In addition to being repugnant, Heartiste’s argument here doesn’t even particularly make sense. Essentially, he seems to be saying that men need to be able to hit women to keep them in line so that they won’t have to … hit women to keep them in line.

Also, the phrase “mate retention strategy,” apparently popular with Evo Psych types, gives me the creeps. I’m pretty sure the best “mate retention strategy” is to be the sort of person your “mate” wants to be in a relationship with.

I did a quick search for the phrase, and found numerous references to two academic studies. One suggested that some women fake orgasms as a “mate retention strategy.” Another possibly more revealing one claimed that men of “low mate value” often insult their mates to lower their self-esteem so they won’t feel confident enough to leave. That seems more or less in line with what Heartiste’s general approach. And certainly, by any reasonable definition of the term, Heartiste and his followers are some pretty “low value” people, both as “mates” and as decent human beings generally.

I also found this reference to research by Evo Psych big daddy David Buss suggesting that violence — surprise! — isn’t actually a particularly effective “mate retention strategy.”

Also, beating up your mate is, you know, just generally a pretty shitty thing to do.

If Heartiste takes his tweets down, I’ve got screenshots.

EDITED TO ADD: Heartiste has really been going wild with the Twitter lately.

Here he claims to have invented the term “hivemind.”

https://twitter.com/heartiste/status/349246709110550528

After I pointed out that this belief was delusional, he suggested that I kill myself. Very alpha!

He’s also been on a bit of a racist rampage, posting lots of stuff like this:

https://twitter.com/heartiste/status/349630783830499328

See also here, here, here, here, and here.

Phrasing your racism in pseudoscientific terms doesn’t make it right, dude. It just makes you a pretentious racist.

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CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Thrown under the jail? He’s been studying at the Fidelbogan school of confusing metaphors.

katz
8 years ago

And nobody rated his flounce from a page back! I give it a flat 0. Not funny, not original, didn’t stick even for a few minutes.

Jessay (@jessay)
8 years ago

I guess all those white abusers I know in suburbia don’t actually exist and are all figments of my imagination. I know enough white, middle class, male AND female abusers. Abuse is not a “hoodrat” thing, you racist, classist asshole.

chibigodzilla
8 years ago

Speaking of environments not being the same, it’s hot and humid as fuck here. Where is it in the low 80s with no humidity?

Colorado above 8000ft wach out for afternoon t-storms though.

chibigodzilla
8 years ago

Damn you blockquote monster, and my tendency to type “blocquote”

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Northern California also! But without the possible storms.

Marie
Marie
8 years ago

@Viscaria

The only time a woman needs to be hit by a man is when she being extremely disrespectful,

Nooope.

violent,

Potentially.

breaking his material posessions,

Nope nope nope you DV apologist.

or asking to be hit in order to prove to her that he isn’t a punk.

Is she literally asking to be hit, or “asking to be hit” as in her abuser is claiming that something about her behaviour is subtly indicating to him that she wants to be hit? If it is the latter, noooooooooope, and also congratulations, you’ve given abusers a get-out-of-jail-free card that works in EVERY INSTANCE you despicable asshole.

Good summary of everything wrong withy Greggy’s comment.

A real woman doesn’t think that a man is soft or a punk, because he doesn’t smack her. She doesn’t act like a psycho towards him in order to get him to hit her.

Nobody does that Greg, but the fact you think women do it is a sign your an abuser or abuse apologist piece of shit. Have a nice day, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out, ect ect

I’m talking about a woman who gets in a man’s face and starts demoralizing him just for the hell of it.

Citation needed. I’m sure little fucks like you think any time a woman is not terribly polite, or even *gasp* rude she’s asking to be hit. Go hug a cactus .

I have never put hands on a woman, but I have had lady friends of mine beat the mess out of women who disrespected me in front of them.

Citation also needed. And posting now before word press eats my comment.

Jessay (@jessay)
8 years ago

Oh my god, I was helping my mom watch my nephew and do some measurements during the inspection on the place she’s moving into today and the inspector had the heat on just to make sure it was working properly and I was struggling to maintain a train of thought because it’s been really hot and humid here and add to it turning on the heat? I didn’t sign up for that!

katz
8 years ago

See, we don’t think it’s okay to excuse non-consensual, non-defensive violence because it happens in South LA*, because we think people of color deserve to live in non-violent neighborhoods too.

It says a lot about you if your first reaction to the problem of cops not showing up when you call 911 is “go immediately into Road Warrior mode” and not, say, “improve 911 service.”

I also observe that Greg hasn’t thought of a single situation where you might need to hit a white guy.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

My environment* is still flooded in some areas and the rivers are still flowing super fast. Still, we have pulled together and are working to repair the damage! I’m anxious to get back to work, but they don’t want a lot of people downtown when emergency vehicles and personnel need access.

*Not my immediate surroundings of course

Jessay (@jessay)
8 years ago

@Marie I’m not about to ask for a citation of women getting into men’s faces because it happens. Yes, there are women who do this because there are shitty women on this planet AND THOSE WOMEN ARE WRONG. Getting in their face back puts you on their level and hitting them makes you MORE WRONG.

I also wouldn’t put it past women with tons of internalized misogyny to fight a woman in honor of a man’s pride. Those women are also more wrong than the woman who insulted someone.

Amnesia
Amnesia
8 years ago

My general rule is, when you can reasonably avoid physically harming someone, AVOID IT! Your pride is not worth hospital bills, either for yourself or the other person, or the trial.

On a somewhat related point, one of my coworkers actually has his hands registered as a weapon, because he knows some really good martial arts (not sure what kind at the moment) and could easily kill someone, but if he does need to use self-defense, that might be used against him in trial.

chibigodzilla
8 years ago

I have never put hands on a woman, but I have had lady friends of mine beat the mess out of women who disrespected me in front of them.

BTW, if your “lady friends” did beat up a woman who was disrespecting you, they are also in the wrong.

If I got in a 6’7 350 pound biker’s face, and got my face slammed, I would be at fault.

Well, you’d be stupid, but they biker would still be in the wrong.

It is not acceptable to respond to verbal abuse with physical violence. FULL STOP.

Marie
Marie
8 years ago

Blockquote monster successfully evaded! *throws party*

@Amnesia

Because I missed the rest of the art share with my hit&run commenting style, here’s a few of my pieces and their uncreative titles.

Aw 🙁 I couldn’t see your art because photobucket seems to hate me.

@Greg

Based on the logic of the posters here, women can do nothing wrong, and everything is the man’s fault.

No, Greggy, we just don’t think anything besides physical violence (ie: hitting him first) should be responded to with…physical violence. It’s not that hard.

Have fun with your house or apartment full of cats, or being tossed in the never ending friend’s zone.

Greg’s wishes of inconvience suck XD I”d love a bunch of cats, and the friend zone is where you are friends. I have cats and friends? Great, sign me up!

You people will be single for life.

And that is terrible. Terrible I say. The terrible-est.

Best of luck.

Damn, I think I already used my ‘don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.’

@chibigodzilla

Oh the horror of horrors! To be doomed to a life with cats and friends, how could someone ever live a life like that!?

Ik, I”m tearing up already :’)

@Greg

Some women and men need to get a beatdown in order to stop doing stupid crap.

Go to hell. You’re full of shit, you’re a creepy domestic abuse apologist, and you’re boring, too.

I guess he couldn’t stick to the flounce…

Greg Wright
Greg Wright
8 years ago

I’m Black.

I see a lot of Female abuser apologist on this blog.

Now what do you people think about Brian Banks and Wanetta Gibson?

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

We don’t care you’re black.

Where do you see this apologism? Links please.

Why do you think you get to demand what we think about anything? I personally think it sucks, but if you’re trying to say that the Banks case means that false accusations are a huge problem, well, you’re wrong.

He’s OF’s stupid flying monkey is my guess.

Marie
Marie
8 years ago

I support self defense

…Can you even read what you write?

Re: Greg

If you find yourself having to demoralize a guy, then just leave him alone.

See, I’m kind of pissed, because this summer I’ve had to deal with assholes catcalling me and giving me creepy leers from their cars, which is actually demoralizing (and dehumanizing) and Greggy here is making some damn hypothetical here to give excuses on why he should hit woman. Walk in shoes full of legos, greggy. High-heeled shoes.

BtW, I am talking about in urban areas where women are known to be abusive towards men they see as soft

Citation needed, you pathetic fuck.

@Jessay

@Marie I’m not about to ask for a citation of women getting into men’s faces because it happens. Yes, there are women who do this because there are shitty women on this planet AND THOSE WOMEN ARE WRONG.

Alright. I’ll take your word for it. (not sarcasm, to clarify.) It’s just not something I’ve ever seen happen, and no way I was trusting Trolly on it.

@Greg

I see a lot of Female abuser apologist on this blog.

Ok. Which parts?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I see a lot of Female abuser apologist on this blog.

I see a guy who’s making shit up.

Greg Wright
Greg Wright
8 years ago

False rape is a huge problem, because some people in both genders use it as a “come up” to get quick money. Take notice that I said in both genders, because males do it too.

No DNA, no arrest. No signs of trauma, no arrest.

Briznecko
Briznecko
8 years ago

I see a lot of Female abuser apologist on this blog.

Says the guy who said this:

If a woman slaps me, and I didn’t instigate being hit, I’m knocking her out. I don’t care what anyone thinks.

Briznecko
Briznecko
8 years ago

Imaginary problems, the greatest issue of the century.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

False rape is a huge problem, because some people in both genders use it as a “come up” to get quick money. Take notice that I said in both genders, because males do it too.

You are so full of shit I can smell you through my screen.

Marie
Marie
8 years ago

False rape is a huge problem, because some people in both genders use it as a “come up” to get quick money.

Citation needed. God, Greg, can’t you use something that’s not assfax?

Fade
8 years ago

A real woman doesn’t think that a man is soft or a punk, because he doesn’t smack her. is someone who IDs as a woman

FTFY

And the rest of greg’s stuff… is too disgusting to touch

*sigh*

Or too disgusting not to touch

Some crazy women ask to be hit.

Ableism plus sexism! We should make a bigot bingo and see how many you fill out

Also, Greg: Your ego is not a reason to beat someone up.

Some women and men need to get a beatdown in order to stop doing stupid crap.

My brother occasionally does annoying stuff like making really bad jokes. I somehow manage not to beat him up because of the stupid crap. It must be because I love him, and oh yeah, am not a despicable shit stain of a human being like you, Greg.

I have been married for 10 years. I’m not an abuser apologist. I support self defense.

Beating people up for doing “stupid crap” is not self defense; read your own writing. You are an abuse apologist. You justify abuse by saying it could be okay in non-self defense situations (like someone “disrespects” you.)

Back in 2001, I called the cops on my ex girlfriend for threatening to get her cousin to anally rape me. The cops didn’t do crap about it.

Now if a man made the same threat towards a woman, he would be thrown under the jail.

Since only 3 percent of rapists will ever spend a day in jail, not only is it unlikely the police would do anything if someone threatened a woman like that, it is unlikely the police would do anything if someone DID THAT to a woman.

@katz

This has been your daily reminder that, where there’s sexism, there’s racism.

That’s three, then..

Greg Wright
Greg Wright
8 years ago

Marie, if a man is demoralizing you, go pepper spray his face or hit him with a stun gun.

You won’t get a peep out of me if I saw you doing that to a dude if he was cat calling you.

I can’t stand guys who do that crap.

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