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off topic open thread

Open Thread for Personal Stuff

Hugs for everyone who wants them.
Hugs for everyone who wants them.

I know a lot of Man Boobz regulars have been dealing with a lot of rough stuff lately, so I’m opening this thread up to provide a (relatively) safe space to discuss them. No trolls allowed; any trolls who post here will be put on moderation and possibly banned. (Please notify me by email (my last name at well dot com) if there are inaproppriate comments; I get behind in reading comments here.)

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freemage
freemage
9 years ago

katz: Yeah, I hadn’t seen breadmold’s breakdown when I replied to him upthread. Sheesh. That first post was actually a decent job of fake-feminism.

LBT
LBT
9 years ago

RE: shigekuni

I have no idea what the hell is going on, but for the love of god, please call someone. If you’re in the US, the phone number for the emergency psych service is (800) 981-4357. You can do your body serious damage and you need help, more help than the crew here can give you.

AK
AK
9 years ago

Shigekuni, please listen to LBT. There are resources and support out there for you. If you give us a location we can help you find them. I understand being suicidal, have been there myself, but I promise you can pull through it even though it might not seem like it right now.

serrana
serrana
9 years ago

I just wanted to pop in and say “hi!!” (I’ve been lurking, but haven’t had enough time to comment and then follow through.)

If any of you are a fan of Hyperbole and a Half, Allie will have a new post up tomorrow explaining what’s been going on in her life the last 18 months. Her last post, in 2011, was about her depression so it’s really good to hear from her.

My favorite HaaH post: The Alot is Better Than You at Everything.

serrana
serrana
9 years ago

(The word “explaining” was meant to go here: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/pre-post-transition-post.html.)

Kittehserf
9 years ago

Hi serrana!

(Still getting used to your new nym – lovely but so different!)

serrana
serrana
9 years ago

Me too, Kittehserf. It’s weird having someone address me with no cuss words involved.

Kittehserf
9 years ago

LOL!

Aaliyah
9 years ago

Tomorrow I’m heading to San Francisco via public transit. It’ll be the first time ever being in SF by myself. I’m supposed to go there to visit an art museum (Legion of Honors Museum) and complete a project for my art history class. It’s just one of those humanities classes I’m trying to get out of the way, although it’s surprisingly interesting.

Also, if I have extra time, I’ll go check out the The Castro and explore it. ^_^ I’ve always wanted to go there as it’s one of the most LGBT-friendly areas of SF. And I’ll be very pleased if I can find some trans*-friendly clothing store over there. The best thing is that my father is going out of town tomorrow, so he won’t be calling me constantly about where I am and what I’m doing.

Aaliyah
9 years ago

Oh, it’s 1:32 AM. That makes it today, then, not tomorrow. >_>

amandajane5
amandajane5
9 years ago

@Aaliyah that’s a great museum! It has a Thinker out front that I enjoy, and it passes my Design of Cities professor’s test for being a place people like to get married. If you make it to Castro St., I recommend walking over the hill to the Noe Valley neighborhood known locally for it’s reputation for having lesbians with kids. 24th St. is the main place to go there, tons of fun little shops, a beautiful bookstore and toy shop (separate places.)

So my head is still hurting, and I’m trying to decide if it’s better to do some exercise or not. I kind of feel like I’ve been lying down too much, but I don’t want to over-do anything.

amandajane5
amandajane5
9 years ago

I lived in SF for a couple of years and love art and architecture, so I have opinions. Another wonderful thing to do is to go to Lands End, nice (steep, like everything in SF) hiking trails, and an unbeatable view of the Golden Gate bridge. You can get there by bus, head for Ft. Myers, and it’s a nice place to take a picnic. It’s also near the Legion of Honor. So is the beach in SF, which is largely only frequented by people who live there, so rarely crowded, and the Cliff House restaurant and the ruins of the baths are also fun places to go.

hrovitnir
hrovitnir
9 years ago

So much on here. Support for everyone who needs it! *hugs if anyone wants them*

Please don’t kill yourself Shigekuni. Please call a suicide line, and/or talk to us. People do care. 🙁

The clothes are awesome Kitteh! ^_^ The hat is great too, I am envious of your skills. 😀

For my open thread comment: I just sent an email to our human evolution and sexuality lecturer about our gender lecture. It was about chromosomal/hormonal sex disorders. The lecturer is a (different) old (60s) white guy, who’s hard case and in his first lecture talked about how he think education should be about critical thinking, or developing a good “bullshit meter”.

He is obviously a decent guy, he did make a point of saying that people with chromosomal disorders such as Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome are just people, and mentioned his genetically-intersex friend who is female-identified and quite happy that way; and it’s built into the course to discuss gender identity and mention it’s probably at least somewhat socialised. He talked about gender being something deep set and not necessarily matching your body or socialisation.

BUT he still at one point referred to an XY woman as a “bloke”. He used female pronouns for her the whole way through: but for another person despite having used correct pronouns and hesitated, calling her she – he/it. Each disorder was discussed in terms of chromosomes, hormones, and gender identity – the latter being regarded as fixed. AIS women being genotypically male, phenotypically female and female-identified. No mention of gender dysphoria separate from chromosomal disorders, no mention of the fact that that cis women can be just as interested in rifles and trucks as his friend with high circulating testosterone.

I was pleased that my cis-male friend was discomforted by the she/he/it thing as well as some of the negative comments, and mentioned it before I could.

At one point, despite having recently mostly decided that probably not going to transition, I started feeling like I couldn’t breathe and couldn’t concentrate.

I’m kinda tempted to post my email here but it’s enough of a wall of text already. Just thought I’d share anyway. I have been pleasantly surprised by the faculty, but I think it’s too easy to forget that when you do lectures on sexuality and gender, the people you are talking about are some of the people you are talking to.

LeShiggedyDiggedy
LeShiggedyDiggedy
9 years ago

I posted this rant of mine in the thread about the Cleveland abductions, but since it’s mostly personal stuff, it belongs more in the open thread here:

>
By the time I started to lurk in the feminist blogosphere to learn about what feminism is REALLY about, I’m growing more and more hatred towards the MRAs. Literal hatred.

Whenever I try to read the crap on AvfM and similar sites, I get red in the face for anger and close my browser immediately. I think of the patriarchal influence on society (something that I once was awfully blind to) and I get even angrier.

I can’t even bring myself to read the Italian MRA-ish websites I used to go to (and where I absorbed the anti-feminist propaganda that made be believe that straw feminism was the true feminism). Yes, there are “men’s rights” groups outside the USA too. Even if they’re more of a self-proclaimed “anti-feminist” group, rather than “official” MRAs.

I’m not ready to confront my old “comrades” for now.
And just to think I used to be one of them (as in, a sympathizer)… makes me want to punch my older self in the face.

I think I’m a sort of “rejection phase” right now.

Even if it’s highly improbable that they will ever become mainstream, I see them growing more and more, like a slowly, insidiously spreading cancer.
People like the MRAs are slowing down the progress of mankind.

Thank goodness for people like David and the AMR folks on Reddit who keeps exposing their misogyny and hate cult.
Will we ever see the MRM dismantled in our lifetime? I hope so, but I know that’s very unlikely.

Sorry if I sounded too overdramatic and/or overemotional, and for my English (it’s not my native language, there may be some mistakes. I’m that Italian ex-antifeminist who posted on Reddit some weeks ago.)

amandajane5
amandajane5
9 years ago

@LeShiggedyDiggedy I think the thing to remember is what happens when they try to have a rally. It’s five dudes. The SlutWalks had thousands of women show up. They’re loud, and it’s easy to be loud on the internet, but not really a movement.

MarciLannister
MarciLannister
9 years ago

amanda:

Right! How hard can it be for a few sad creatures with no lives to sit around and create an online presence and make it seem like their numbers are fucking Legion? I used to constantly remind myself that the most hateful and terrible people are always more motivated to make the most racket. Us people just trying to live and let live aren’t all that into being out in any public forum shouting about this or that. The internet is an especially bad mixture of this, what with the whole anonymity thing.

LeShiggedyDiggedy
LeShiggedyDiggedy
9 years ago

@amandajane5: Unfortunately, even if it’s just “five dudes” who actually show up at rallies, the rest of the Internet MRA population is still able to do harm by doxxing, trolling, harassing and promoting violence.

And yes, I’m aware that not all misogynists dudebros on the Internet are MRAs, but MRAs are the ones who actively encourage misogyny.

Kittehserf
9 years ago

@AJ – “They’re loud, and it’s easy to be loud on the internet, but not really a movement.”

They’re the sort of movement described in the old dunny poem:

“Here I sit, broken hearted
I tried to shit but only farted.”

@hrovitnir – “The clothes are awesome Kitteh! ^_^ The hat is great too, I am envious of your skills. :D”

Aww, thanks! 🙂

Do you knit at all, or fancy trying it? I can show you the pattern for this beret if you like, it’s really easy. Straight needles and plain stitch.

amandajane5
amandajane5
9 years ago

@ Kittehs Ha! That’s a good one for them!

The response to BoobQuake, the response to Anita Sarkeesian doing something fairly innocuous. She was trying to raise $6000 and got $120000 in response to getting threatened and doxxed. It’s a fight, but it’s one I think we’re winning. Very slowly, sure. It took two years of talking to my white male ex-husband about issues for him to identify as a feminist. I cried my eyes out when he did. My supportive friend who I’ve been talking to incessantly is also a white male, and a Libertarian to boot, and he keeps telling me that I’m putting him down when I link to things. When I said no, I was doing that because I think he’s a thinker, and you can’t change people’s views unless they have an open mind, he pretty much shut up and started thinking about it. My teaspoon of the month, but the more allies, the better. He’s one of those who took Schrodinger’s Rapist as a personal hit the first time he read it, but is also desperately looking for a woman to spend his life with.

pecunium
9 years ago

Now you guys have me missing SF. 🙂

Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

I have relatively good news! My grandfather’s out of ICU and in a normal room (well, geriatric ward I assume, but standard level serious)

So w00t for that.

Also, between the amount of lidocane and novicane in my mouth, closing my eyes was enough to basically tune out everything going on it there. So all in all, not too bad, and hey, now I don’t have an obvious cavity on a lower incisor, gotta keep those vampire fangs in tip top shape ^;.;^

titianblue
titianblue
9 years ago

Yea for Argenti’s grandfather. And for painkillers at the dentist’s.

katz
9 years ago

Also, if I have extra time, I’ll go check out the The Castro and explore it. ^_^ I’ve always wanted to go there as it’s one of the most LGBT-friendly areas of SF. And I’ll be very pleased if I can find some trans*-friendly clothing store over there. The best thing is that my father is going out of town tomorrow, so he won’t be calling me constantly about where I am and what I’m doing.

Aaliyah! Aaliyah! *bounces up and down* Go to my uncle’s museum! It’s awesome and about GLBT stuff and admission is only $5!

Fuck, you’re already there and AFK by now. But if you are in the Castro maybe you will find it on your own.

Shigekuni
9 years ago

This is really really good http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.de/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

2/3rds of it ring so true to me. The very first analogy is RIGHT on target.

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