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off topic open thread

Open Thread for Personal Stuff

Hugs for everyone who wants them.
Hugs for everyone who wants them.

I know a lot of Man Boobz regulars have been dealing with a lot of rough stuff lately, so I’m opening this thread up to provide a (relatively) safe space to discuss them. No trolls allowed; any trolls who post here will be put on moderation and possibly banned. (Please notify me by email (my last name at well dot com) if there are inaproppriate comments; I get behind in reading comments here.)

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inurashii
inurashii
9 years ago

So that people with really heavy issues don’t have to break fresh ground here, I’m gonna start.

Three weeks ago, I threw out my back. A week and change ago, I caught a chest cold. I’m still not fully healed from either experience and I’m getting really tired of being in pain all the time.

I feel unfocused. And old, even tho I’m not.

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

Omg deers <3 <3 deeeeeeeers.

So sorry to hear that, inurashii. I'd be pretty sick of it too.

BabyLawyer
BabyLawyer
9 years ago

In the spirit of inurashii above, to break the ice and (I hope) give those of you dealing with serious problems a laugh, I tripped over my boyfriend’s foot and sprained my ankle on Thursday. You are welcome to laugh at me. Copious internet hugs for all.

katz
9 years ago

Thanks, David! I remember back in the day we were discussing open threads vs. forum and, obvs, we went the forum route, but things have gradually slid back to the default state of “everything in whatever thread is going on at the moment,” which is sub-optimal.

inurashii
inurashii
9 years ago

Here’s an NSAID cocktail toast for debilitating injuries caused by embarrassing circumstances.

(in case you were wondering: a moving girlfriend, her 70s-era sofabed, and a cramped cellar entrance. Ouch.)

KathleenB
KathleenB
9 years ago

I get to have an endometrial biopsy tomorrow. I hate needles, I hate being touched by strangers and I have no clue how to handle bad results. Hopefully, I’ll get a doc who will be cool with just taking the hellish thing OUT. Hugs to all who need them.

Aaliyah
9 years ago

Thanks David.

Also, besides the fact that I like all of the non-trolls here, the main reason I decided to do all of those derails on the other threads was that, IIRC, I was told that derails happened all the time in Manboobz anyway. But I should have realized that I can’t expect each and every commentator to be totally tolerant of my frequent all-about-me derails. I can see how it could be really annoying, especially since I repeat stuff very often.

In any case, I won’t post about personal advice stuff nearly as often as I used to, even in this thread.

inurashii
inurashii
9 years ago

Aaliyah, if you want sounding boards or people to talk to off-list, I’m quite easy to cyberstalk for contact info and would be happy to talk to you.

Also I just found out that this username is even easier to connect to my real name now that a dance move is named after me in a downloadable song for dance central. Welp :I

katz
9 years ago

Aaliyah, I’m pretty sure you didn’t break any rule except the “don’t talk about things Hellkell doesn’t feel like hearing about” rule.

Karalora
Karalora
9 years ago

Work is stressing me the hell out. We’ve gotten sooooooooo busy this year, I really need an assistant but so far the boss won’t approve the budget to hire me one. I also need a vacation, but I’ll never catch up if I take off any length of time. My shoulders have been stiff for weeks and I’m actually losing weight from all the running around.

I can’t tell my mom about any of this because all she’ll hear is “I’m losing weight” and think it’s a fantastic turn of events.

Pro-Equality MRA
Pro-Equality MRA
9 years ago

@inurashi- Ugh, sorry to hear that. I have recurring lower back pain and it’s awful. The worst is when I wake up and just lie there in anything between discomfort and agony for however long it takes.

Well, it gives us some perspective, I suppose. 😉

Bee
Bee
9 years ago

Sorry, inurashii. Back pain + coughing sounds really bad. I’ve thrown my back out multiple times, and I hate that “everything I do causes me so much pain” thing.

I’m replying to Aaliyah in this threat instead of the other one just to repeat what other people have said about you totally having worth and being a great person, even though I know you don’t feel like it. I’ve been suicidal before, and I don’t have any tricks to get through it or get out of it, but I do know that it’s possible to get through it and find happiness and value in life again. I’m thinking good thoughts for you.

My own news. Good news: I’m graduating law school! Just took my last exam on Saturday. Bad news: I’ve been looking for a month and can’t find a job. Which is extra depressing since I went to law school because I couldn’t find a job. So now it’s been four years since I’ve had a job that’s paid me any money, and I feel really worthless and rejected and awful. Recently I was in the top two candidates for a job that was perfect for me, but I didn’t get chosen and for some reason that makes me feel even worse than not even getting the interview.

Thanks for the thread, David!

katz
9 years ago

Bad news: I’ve been looking for a month and can’t find a job. Which is extra depressing since I went to law school because I couldn’t find a job. So now it’s been four years since I’ve had a job that’s paid me any money, and I feel really worthless and rejected and awful. Recently I was in the top two candidates for a job that was perfect for me, but I didn’t get chosen and for some reason that makes me feel even worse than not even getting the interview.

Ugh, now there’s a problem I can definitely sympathize with! When you get rejected for a job, you should be able to realize that you’re no worse off than you were before or than you would be if you hadn’t applied; you didn’t have a job before and you don’t have one now. But it’s impossible to think that way!

BabyLawyer
BabyLawyer
9 years ago

@Bee

Good news: I’m graduating law school! Just took my last exam on Saturday. Bad news: I’ve been looking for a month and can’t find a job. Which is extra depressing since I went to law school because I couldn’t find a job. So now it’s been four years since I’ve had a job that’s paid me any money, and I feel really worthless and rejected and awful. Recently I was in the top two candidates for a job that was perfect for me, but I didn’t get chosen and for some reason that makes me feel even worse than not even getting the interview.

I know it doesn’t make it less scary to not have a job yet, but I highly doubt it is because you are worthless/awful. I graduated last year and half my class is still unemployed. HALF! And the only reason I am not part of that half is because of a family connection. Sheer luck, not my own merit. Keep trying. You may want to try looking at rural practices. I know it’s not glamorous, and not sure where you are located, but here in Nebraska there are many rural firms hiring because the partners are older, retiring, and no one wants to move back. You can make great dough being the only attorney in a small town.

pecunium
9 years ago

Bee, I feel your pain. Back in 2009 I was looking (and looking, and looking) and no one would so much as admit I was applying. I couldn’t even get an interview for retail.

On the personal front I am finding myself inert on the issue of getting the VocRehab the VA owes me started. I am afraid, I think of the various levels of rejection I might end up with (the VA balking at what I want to do, the schools I apply to saying, “no thanks”, or the lack of a bachelors being too much of a hurdle: I want to be an OT, which is a masters level program).

And I’ve had a sprained finger for the past, not quite three months.

WeeBoy
WeeBoy
9 years ago

I have been looking for a no job for six months. Not happening. Almost everyone else in my class has a job. I have a good enough CV because I keep getting interviews but I sucks at interviews so I don’t get jobs. I feel useless, purposeless, and I want to die. I don’t have the energy to do anything and I don’t know if I can fight my way out of this yet again.

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

Can I tell you guys a stupid little story? I don’t have a ton of friends IRL. One of the closest ones came home from school with his new girlfriend a couple of weeks ago and asked me to meet her, which I was happy to do. She was extremely rude to me the whole time I was there. Like, she literally pulled out a book of crossword puzzles because she didn’t want to talk to me.

My friend finally tells me (like a week later) that everything is fine, she just felt threatened by our friendship, no big deal. I said, it actually is a big deal to me when I make a real effort to get to know someone and they pointedly ignore me the whole time, and I don’t really want to spend any more time with her if she won’t acknowledge that. Ok, he says. And not a word to me since. I feel like he’s decided that it’s worth throwing away our 12 year long friendship rather than risk any conflict at all with his new gf. Which, whatever, I don’t want them to break up or anything, I just don’t want to pretend like that’s an ok way to treat me. I don’t even know. End stupid story.

pecunium
9 years ago

Viscaria: That sucks.

freemage
freemage
9 years ago

Viscaria: Unfortunately, there’s an ongoing belief that [remember, all of these cliches assume everyone is straight] “men and women can’t just be friends”. People who have bought into this belief are thus prone to jealousy about preexisting friendships, because they assume that there must be SOME sort of unresolved sexual/romantic tension there.

Yeah, it’s pretty shit, and I’m sorry you got caught in it.

I’m actually doing pretty well right now, so for everyone who is having it rough, I offer up a sonata in Cat Minor:
comment image

Briznecko
Briznecko
9 years ago

Jedi Hugs all around! Especially to everyone having employment troubles, I’m in that spot too. Finding jobs suck.

Viscaria: That suck, I’m sorry 🙁

This threat should have plenty of brain bleach:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D36JUfE1oYk

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

Viscaria: Unfortunately, there’s an ongoing belief that [remember, all of these cliches assume everyone is straight] “men and women can’t just be friends”.

Totally true. I don’t really even blame her for the jealousy, necessarily, I just think she could have made an effort while I was there to be civil and then talked with her boyfriend about it afterward, instead of totally ignoring my attempts to be friendly. Really I’m most upset that my good friend doesn’t see any issue with how I was treated and seems to think I’m being a jerk just by saying I don’t want to be around her if that’s what she considers ok. Anyway, not a big deal, just feels good to get it off my chest.

So many injuries in this thread 🙁 and so much unemployment. I feel for all of you guys. Many deer hugs.

Briznecko
Briznecko
9 years ago

y u no load cute kitty and hedgehog video?

Pro-Equality MRA
Pro-Equality MRA
9 years ago

Honestly, I’ve been considering applying to continue my education. I have a BA of the sort that I’ve never really used beyond showing people that, you know, I have a BA. Which is certainly a good thing, but I’ve been stuck in a rut the past few years, and I’m thinking grad school could serve as a little push. Idk.

No complaints, really- mine is a comfortable rut. 😉 But still, I don’t feel especially fulfilled or validation. Sigh…

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

I’m a bit in the same boat Viscaria, except my friend is my ex-girlfriend (8 years together) and she’s bi while her new gf is a lesbian with trust issues around men. And I’m openly poly, which ironically is exactly why I would never try to shit on their relationship, but you know, I’m slutty, so I’m a total homewrecker risk. So, yeah.

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

>>>Honestly, I’ve been considering applying to continue my education.

I would suggest starting it. Apparently you have trouble with reading comprehension. What part of “trolls not allowed” didn’t you understand?

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