I spend more time on YouTube than I probably should. Most of the time I’m on the site, I’m tracking down strange and awesome music videos. But I also love cat videos (big surprise), ridiculous fake alien and UFO videos, videos of people behaving in incredibly unwise ways that are somehow not lethal to them, and pretty much anything that’s got Yackety Sax as its soundtrack.
What do MRAs enjoy watching? As far as I can tell, when they’re not watching videos of other MRAs, or flooding the comments of feminist videos, they like watching videos of women getting punched.
How else to explain the hundred-plus upvotes that greeted this brief video – it’s all of 15 seconds long –of a man knocking out a woman who was assaulting him. The video starts with a fight already in progress, as a woman rains blows on a much larger man backed up against a wall at what seems to be a strip mall while her friends shriek in the background. The man, after fending off a number of punches, hits her directly in the face and she drops to the ground.
That’s it. That’s all we know. We don’t know who these people are, what the fight was about, or even who started it.
But to the denizens of the Men’s Rights subreddit, this is a man who is fully justified in using violence against a woman, and they can barely conceal their excitement, posting dozens of comments proclaiming him a sort of Men’s Rights hero.
“Kudos to the guy who stood up to this bullshit,” dalsgaard declares, in a comment that gets dozens of upvotes. “I hope other men will take his example.”
Tim8080 only wishes he’d been there to take part in the punching:
Actually, the man in question isn’t particularly old, and he’s certainly not frail; he’s actually rather large and imposing.
Gus2144 thinks that for some reason gender equality necessarily involves a lot of hitting:
Evidently in that last comment Gus took it a little too far for his Men’s Rights bretheren, and he garnered himself a few downvotes.
But the serious downvoting in the thread was reserved for those who questioned whether or not MRAs should be celebrating the incident captured on video as a grand victory for Men’s Rights.
Indeed, CapnDancyPants won himself more than two dozen downvotes for simply wondering what might have happened before the fifteen seconds shown on the video:
MRAs: If they can’t punch women, they don’t want to be a part of your revolution.
Oh, that’s another similarity to Mr. Al (or rather, Varpole): Obsession with the word “creep.”
Unfortunately that one is rather widespread in whiny-dude circles.
They really have no idea what it can feel like to be called an actual slur if they can claim that creep is one.
They really seem to enjoy co-opting social justice terminology almost as much as they like talking about women getting punched.
Good on you, katz! I’ve never visited his site, don’t intend to, either.
“It’s not like I have multiple bathrooms at home all labelled up for every part of the gender spectrum.” – What about toilets for human-plus-feline-helper? (Cats definitely approve of the open-door policy there.)
I can’t say I’d be comfortable sharing public toilets (ie. multiple cubicle/sink ones) with men. There’s nothing wrong about it; it’s simply past my comfort level. I don’t mind about using the same single loos as the guys at work, though I’ve appropriated the upstairs one so it’s MINE ALL MINE and I can leave my stuff lying around, plus stairs = exercise and there are non-girly reasons I’d rather not make the guys use the same loo as me. But being in a public, multiple stall place … no, it would feel a bit like an invasion of privacy. I like a women’s space to be a women’s space (whether the women are cis or trans*) not a mixed one. That’s just me, because I’ve never used a bathroom or toilet space with a man in there other than Mr K, and I don’t care for the idea; the proximity of a strange man is too intimate.
I personally don’t see peeing in the same vicinity as a man as any different or more intimate than peeing in the same vicinity as a woman (or anybody else). The only issue for me would be menstruation. Some men are really weird about it and I wouldn’t want one of them nearby if I needed to borrow a tampon or to carry used products to a trashcan outside if the stall.
Of course, improving social attitudes about menstruation (which we should do anyway imo) and/or putting trashcans in all stalls would fix those issues well enough for me personally.
@kitteh
That might be it – I am not up to date on the politics of it. It’s just that my brother and I both went to public school and got perfectly good educations, and both our parents were public school teachers… but yeah, that was a while ago now.
And yes, where did I come from is the one I was thinking of.
The only reason I can think of is that letting a little girl know that sex is fun and women enjoy it is encouraging them to have sex, whereas a rapey scene teaches her it’s something to avoid. Doesn’t matter what it teaches little boys because they just can’t help themselves anyway, amirite?
It’s definitely just my level of comfort/discomfort; I’m not saying at all there’s anything wrong with the idea, and I daresay I’d get used to it. Besides, it’s not like the station toilets would be any more gross than they are already … why is FLUSHING something beyond some people’s comprehension???
Off topic: I liked this cartoon.
On topic, at least for this comment thread: I think there are a lot of reasons that individual unisex bathrooms should be more widely available. People shouldn’t have to pick a gender just because they need to pee.
I’ve visited GGG’s site, until it got too brain-frying. I think he’s real, up to a point. A narcissistic, self-absorbed, emotionally unstable, thoroughly entitled asshole who wants lots and lots of attention, and negative attention is better than none. He’s trying to paint himself as oh-so important; he’s going to kill himself or go on a killing spree if nobody gives him the girl of his dreams. Don’t think he’ll actually do that, but he loves to name-drop the names of mass killers to get attention. Definitely creepy and mentally ill; I apologize for the ableist language there, but he is in desperate need of in-depth therapy and medication. His thing that his parents are “murdering” him by not obtaining a girlfriend for him is just weird. I had to quit reading his stuff. He’s not like MRAs who simply deserve to be mocked; he’s nasty, very entitled and self-centered, but also mentally unwell. If anyone can get him knocked off of WordPress, go for it.
gah, i know kitteh! how can people be so gross in toilets? I was going to say I sometimes don’t like using the same toilets as men because they pee on the seats – but then, there is sometimes pee on the seats in women only toilets anyway. gag.
Here in Aust, there are sanitary bins in every public women’s/unisex toilet stall. I’d guess that it is a legal requirement. Sometimes they don’t get emptied often enough though and that is super gross.
I am all for unisex toilets in all circumstances though since the kinds of queues women have to put up with sometimes is ridiculous. I have at times just gone into the men’s but it can feel just so wrong to do that, even though intellectually I know it’s silly for it to feel wrong.
What gets me is how toilets built really recently still don’t have enough stalls and basins. I mean, it’s Very. Well. Known. that women generally need to use the loo more often than men, yet architects of public buildings (theatres, f’rinstance) haven’t got their teeny little architect brains around the idea that intermission = lots of women (and men, but I’ve never seen a queue outside the blokes’ dunny) needing to go all at the same time.
The National Gallery of Victoria is a good example – brand new place, only a few years old, yet you go upstairs and the loos have two stalls. Two. Feckin ridiculous, especially given how far it is from one set to another.
OT: anyone who likes Vegemite will be glad to know it is available at Mr K’s and my place across the veil, should you want to visit. We had hot buttered
manateestoast (toasted on a fork at the fireplace) last night, and I was kept busy putting Vegemite on bits for the five Vege fiends among our kitty family.Going back to whataboutthemoonz pointing out that genetics and biology are not binary…mea culpa, and I’m sorry. I was tired and didn’t think it out and should’ve used assigned or assumed gender or something. My apologies.
As for consensual sex getting a stricter rating than rape, and the guesses as to why, eww at that probably being right.
@The Kittehs’
I have never had Vegemite, but I love hot buttered toast. 🙂
Also, off-topic, I had my actual doctor (NOT a student) do all of my trigger point injections today. That is the first time that has happened and almost makes the 30 minute wait worth it.
Injections with less pain? Definitely worth the wait.
Vegemite is very salty, you only need a teeeeny bit scraped over bread/toast with butter on. Be warned, nevernevernever spread it like peanut butter or something. It’s overwhelming and could make your head explode. Or make you wish it would.
We also had hot buttered toast with honey. Nom nom nom… at least the kitties don’t like honey and we got to eat it all!
I looked up about beta blockers, and alas, I can’t use ’em, because asthma. I thought that might be the case, because when I started getting eyedrops for glaucoma, the first thing they asked was if I’d ever had any sort of asthma, however mild. My opthamologist told me b-bs can kill asthma sufferers. It was a real pest back then, because most of the drops available were beta blockers.
It’s annoying knowing I can’t use them for the anxiety … grrr.
I’ve an appt with my doc tonight, and I’m hoping the blood test I had shows anemia, because some of the symptoms are the same as for anxiety, and I would LOVE to think some basic ol’ iron tablets would help!
@The Kittehs’
I knew there was something the doctor had asked me about, but couldn’t remember what it was. Asthma! *facepalm* That is too bad. I think they are one of the only things for anxiety that isn’t a heavy-duty real drug, which sucks because aside from all the risks of those drugs, they are damn hard to get. 🙂
I guess I am hoping you have anemia! (I never thought I’d say that to anyone.) Good luck at your appointment!
There are some people (my bf for eg) who actually like it like that. I think you can become desensitised.
Kim – eeek! 😀 My jars of Vege used to last for years. It turned black but that was about all (and it’s next best thing to black anyway). I like the tubes it comes in now, much easier to spread.
My bff and her mum (Angelenos) made the mistake of thinking it was a spread a la peanut butter, and slathered it on sans butter. Unsurprisingly they have never eaten any after that first bite.
Some Gal – lol yeah, who’d think anemia would be a winner? I’m on Pristiq at present, a fairly lightweight antidepressant … though I’m just reading about it now, and see that hypertension and anxiety are side effects. Which makes no. fucking. sense. whatsoever, since those are what I’m trying to combat! Think I’d better have a talk about that tonight. It’s not the same doc who prescribed them – I only saw that bloke once and don’t intend to see him again.
@The Kittehs’
I think all antidepressants can cause anxiety, but they don’t cause anxiety in everyone so you might have to start the crappy process of trial-and-error. (I’m pretty much at the end of that, most likely NO drugs will work for me, and the process of finding that out sucks so bad, but it is survivable. You have lots of people to commiserate with! And it is so worth it to find something that works.)
Of course, you might find out that just changing the dose fixes almost everything. Sometimes it seems like such a little change, but the effects are huge. I think it is a great thing to ask your doctor about. And again, good luck!
FWIW, my mom found that Pristiq did pretty much nothing for her, but she’s had slightly better luck on others when she bothers to stay on them long enough to feel the effects…*wanders off grumbling about her mother*
Effexor proved to be just as useless — except for giving me vertigo. When I decided to go off it, I had flu-like symptoms for two or three weeks. Yoga is much more useful. And have wine with dinner when you can.
Some Gal – that sucks, all that trial and error and still nothing that really helps! Internet hugs if you want ’em.
I really can’t tell if the Pristiq is helping or not, at present. I mean … been on ’em about three months, and there isn’t a huge difference in how I feel day by day. If an anxiety attack happens (*&^%$$ rotten adrenal gland, sit down and shut up willya) it happens, and it doesn’t take a lot to trigger it, and Pristiq sure as hell doesn’t stop it. I’m a bit wound up now and that’s prolly partly leftovers from the last couple of days, partly apprehension about the appointment. Apprehension’s too strong a word, but I get mildly twitchy about all sorts of minor things like that.
Have you ever used affirmations (hate that name, it’s so New Agey) in trying to change thinking patterns?
The “gender/sex is binary” folk crack. Me. Up. I’m one of those “normal” folk whose biological sex lines up with their gender (at least in socially appropriate terms.) I’m sure not XX though! There’s more than one biologically female chromosomal combination. The MRAs hate me; I’m trying to lure them in and do sex to them and make them gay due to my lack of being a real woman. I’m a fraud! A fraud!
You can be chromosomally female without being XX or chromosomally male without being XY and any gender can line up with any chromosomal combination. Gender isn’t binary and neither is sex.
I don’t understand parental aversion to puberty blockers beyond a lack of understanding due to their newness. They don’t cause any changes. They postpone them until you go off them. Then your body either takes over or you introduce new hormones to induce the puberty that aligns with your gender if you wish. Puberty blockers don’t do that.
People are funny.
*pops into the meds discussion* among the anti-anxiety drugs that’ve done shit for me was vistaril, looks like asthma is listed among the “ask your doctor if you have…”
@Shiraz
I’m having those now from going off Cymbalta! I have never had that reaction to an antidepressant before and it took me really by surprise. At first I thought I’d somehow undercooked dinner or something. I used to get high (well, induce mania) on Effexor. 🙂
@The Kittehs’
Appointments are always hard, I think. My heart rate shoots up when I to in from a normal mid-80s to up to mid-130s. (A nurse told me I had the heartrate of a newborn! o.O) It is pretty normal to have an adverse reaction to doctors! 🙂
I have bad luck with affirmations. I argue with them too much. I actually do this like reverse affirmation… Maybe it is more like a mantra? When I’m feeling really bad, I repeat “I hate myself” three times and really give in and feel the hate. Then, when I am done saying it, I force myself to move on and focus on other things. It stops the negative thinking (for the most part). I’ve had therapists tell me it is really unhealthy, but it stops the bad thoughts and lets me function and I don’t argue with it the way I argue with the affirmations. I don’t necessarily recommend it for anyone else to just start doing, but if the affirmations don’t work for you, you might want to try just giving the bad feelings/thoughts like 30 seconds and really focus on how awful it is and then at the end of that time, gradually stop the intense focus and like “pull back” until you can function. If it doesn’t work, or you don’t work like that, you’ll know pretty quickly. And, of course, you could do affirmations afterwards as well. But, that is how it works for me. The bad shit gets its time and then I have to move on. It might not be good advice, but it has kept me functioning (with a few big lapses) for at least 15 years. (I actually remember doing a variation on the playground when I was 7, where I would frown and feel bad and then force a smile and go back to ” normal.”)
@marinerachel
I would say that people are scared to mess with what is “natural,”* and, of course, have too much faith in “natural.”
*in quotes because I think it is mostly bullshit.
The naturalism fallacy is one of my least favourite fallacies. Though if all the people who believed in it would take it more seriously and stop using computers then it would be more tolerable.
WordPress says they won’t take it down 😛 Now I’m wondering what does count as a threat or incitement to violence, or if they never take stuff down and that’s just covering their asses.
@katz
I know I probably shouldn’t be surprised, but I am. I wonder what their review process is that something like what GGG writes could pass. How could anyone look at that and think it is okay?