Sorry for not having a regular post up today. I’d like to make it up to you with this irregular one, highlighting some of the dumbest modes of transport the world has ever seen.
Let’s start with this skateboard sail, available through Skymall. Is this the dumbest form of transportation ever?
Boy, he achieved some blazing speed there.
But at least he’s doing a little better than this guy and what he calls his “Homemade Plastic Sheeting Excitement Device.”
Hey, at least he’s enjoying himself. On his YouTube page, he explains:
I just wanted to get across how easy it was to build something that, on windy days, provides hours of real and actual and genuine and authentic satisfaction. I’m talking about the kind of satisfaction that comes back to haunt you like an embarrassing memory. One that returns repeatedly and redefines everything else in life according to its own immutable consequences. One that makes all other activities seem like useless and repetitive motions trailing into the absurd march of meaninglessness. In other words, satisfaction that makes everyday life unbearable and depressing.
This guy, astoundingly, is more successful with his flying device:
You’ll notice I didn’t specify that he was successful at flying. He was certainly successful at getting to the bottom of that hill. And he didn’t even fall over!
That, alas, cannot be said of our next competitor, who seems not to understand (among other things) that when his motorcycle wheels leave the ground they cease to provide him with any forward thrust.
This guy achieves similar, if slightly less dramatic, results without the need for an expensive motorcycle.
As he notes on YouTube: “No real flight on this video.” He’s a shoo-in as a finalist in the International Running Around in a Field With a Wing Competition 2013.
Meanwhile, this fellow’s seventh attempt at flying is a modest success. (I don’t even want to imagine what happened the first six times.)
Given his rather sudden and dramatic landing, it’s probably just as well that he didn’t get any higher up than he did.
There are so, so many more of these sorts of videos online. If you start exploring the “related videos” on YouTube you could be up all night. Which is still better than being up in one of these things.