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Fly, me? (Belated slightly off topic post. With funny videos.)

He does not so much fly as plummet.
He does not so much fly as plummet.

Sorry for not having a regular post up today. I’d like to make it up to you with this irregular one, highlighting some of the dumbest modes of transport the world has ever seen.

Let’s start with this skateboard sail, available through Skymall. Is this the dumbest form of transportation ever?

Boy, he achieved some blazing speed there.

But at least he’s doing a little better than this guy and what he calls his “Homemade Plastic Sheeting Excitement Device.”

Hey, at least he’s enjoying himself. On his YouTube page, he explains:

I just wanted to get across how easy it was to build something that, on windy days, provides hours of real and actual and genuine and authentic satisfaction. I’m talking about the kind of satisfaction that comes back to haunt you like an embarrassing memory. One that returns repeatedly and redefines everything else in life according to its own immutable consequences. One that makes all other activities seem like useless and repetitive motions trailing into the absurd march of meaninglessness. In other words, satisfaction that makes everyday life unbearable and depressing.

This guy, astoundingly, is more successful with his flying device:

You’ll notice I didn’t specify that he was successful at flying. He was certainly successful at getting to the bottom of that hill. And he didn’t even fall over!

That, alas, cannot be said of our next competitor, who seems not to understand (among other things) that when his motorcycle wheels leave the ground they cease to provide him with any forward thrust.

This guy achieves similar, if slightly less dramatic, results without the need for an expensive motorcycle.

As he notes on YouTube: “No real flight on this video.” He’s a shoo-in as a finalist in the International Running Around in a Field With a Wing Competition 2013.

Meanwhile, this fellow’s seventh attempt at flying is a modest success. (I don’t even want to imagine what happened the first six times.)

Given his rather sudden and dramatic landing, it’s probably just as well that he didn’t get any higher up than he did.

There are so, so many more of these sorts of videos online. If you start exploring the “related videos” on YouTube you could be up all night. Which is still better than being up in one of these things.

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Amused
9 years ago

The last one was my favorite.

Kamilla
Kamilla
9 years ago


1912 attempt from Eiffel Tower–he really should have had a safety net.

cloudiah
9 years ago

Laughage. That is all.

Nepenthe
Nepenthe
9 years ago

These folk clearly did not see Dumb Ways to Die, because this is covered.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Dad’s 7th is lucky he did splat when he did – he could have smacked into the trees, the way he was going.

These remind me of the story of John Damian (originally Giovanni Damiano de Falucci), an Italian alchemist at the court of James IV. He made wings and tried flying off Stirling Castle, but – surprise! – it didn’t work. Luckily for him he landed in the midden and broke a leg instead of getting himself killed. His *cough*reasoning*cough* for the failure was that he’d included chicken feathers in his wings and of course, being lowly, vulgar sort of birds, they were attracted to the ground rather than the heavens.

Spin artists have been around forever.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

@Nepenthe – it’s amazing Metro came up with something that’s actually gone viral! (They screw up run Victoria’s rail system. Those posters are all over the place.)

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

Not flight related fail, but fail all the same —

http://youtu.be/xpQPhUiZBWg

“You can see it cracking over there” = a good time to slowly walk back the way you came

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Wasn’t it Franz’s death that started the urban myth that you die of a heart attack when falling from a great height?

At least he was trying to do something important – come up with a parachute for aviators. 🙁

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

You guys! OT but I have to share. I think I finally figured out where Steele got both his name and his literary style from. I was reading these recaps of 50 Shades of Grey and came across this gem, and suddenly everything was clear.

“Christian, recently, every day with you has been quite a day.” My voice is sardonic.

He shakes his head. “Fair point well made, Miss Steele. Come – I want to show you something.”

“Fair point well made, Miss Steele.”

SEE?

http://jenniferarmintrout.blogspot.com/?zx=98ce1fdac992590

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Great Ceiling Cat save us, I think you’re right!

Hmmm … does the word V I L E crop up in that woeful book?

And are there prizes for Worst Ever Fanfic and Publishers Who Should Be Tarred and Feathered?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

I haven’t seen “vile” yet. I don’t think it’s quite overdramatic enough for the author’s tastes.

Also, every time she has the dude trying to get Miss Steele to go somewhere with him he says “come” but when he actually wants her to come during sex he says “come on”. That cracks me up every time.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Meanwhile, over in the other thread, Diogenes is throwing a tantrum.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

Cassandra — thank you for that randomness, I am having a very pissed off night (for ever more OT reasons).

And my gods is that a torturous use of the English language. It’s like it wants to sound intelligent and cultured, but has no idea how to parse a basic sentence. Why, oh why, did no one tell the author of that drivel that ze sucked at writing and should pursue something else? Misandry!!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

“Meanwhile, over in the other thread, Diogenes is throwing a tantrum.”

Oh is he now? I’m entirely in the mood to tear someone another hole. Lucky him, he just became my target!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

You want to hear something depressing? That piece of shit is the best selling novel in the world.

lowquacks
lowquacks
9 years ago

Ever? Already? One of the Harry Potters or something wouldn’t be surprising, but that’s impressive.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Yep. When it bypassed Harry Potter my faith in humanity took a bit of a nosedive.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

I…but it…do they mean paper novels? Do eBooks not count and thus it’s a biased sample? How does this happen?!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

It can’t have been misandry, lol. The author’s a woman. The horrible thing started as Twilight fanfic, so it really didn’t have a chance of being any good even if her writing didn’t suck. The whole book’s just about abuse, not a negotiated BDSM relationship at all.

Mind you it has spawned some wonderful take-down reviews. 🙂

I read the other day it’s started to slide down the bestseller lists, fortunately.

Say, Argenti, Kim came up with a cool term for my dilemma of last night – soul-mated. She said it doesn’t really work as an adjective, and that’s true enough, but I really like it, not least ‘cos it’s almost a pun.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

kitteh — I saw you found a term, glad you found something.

And that a woman was encouraged to write such drivel, while Steele was turned away from writing is solid proof that misandry is rampant in the literature world.

Seriously spellcheck? I spell it rampent and you suggest pentagram as an option? I’m wearing one, I can frikken’ spell the word just fine! …how is that even close?

Creative Writing Student

My boyfriend has taken to collecting 50 Shades of This Book Offends Me On Multiple Levels* parodies. My personal favourite out of the lot is 50 Shelves of Grey, in which literary classics such as 1984, The Metamorphosis, and The Very Hungry Caterpillar are reinterpreted through the lens of erotica.

* It offends me as a writer. It offends me as a feminist. It offends me as a person who enjoys sex.

Noadi
9 years ago

I will give credit to 50 Shades for one thing: some really great parodies. These are my two favorites

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oa3eC02delM
Coincidentally both involve men who’ve been on Star Trek

Noadi
9 years ago
Noadi
9 years ago

I give up, the second one is 50 shades of chicken and it narrated by Patrick Stewart

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